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The Jersey Shore wants nothing to do with Jersey Shore.

No, really, an entire beach community in the state of New Jersey is banding together to defend itself and wash its collective hands of MTV's new hit reality show.

The Borough of Seaside Heights issued a statement (who knew an entire borough could issue a statement) informing people that basically, it's not their idea!

The residents of the town where the show is primarily set want to make it clear they did not "solicit, promote or participate" in the making of Jersey Shore.

Jersey Shore Cast Pic

The Jersey Shore cast has many fans. None in Seaside Heights, N.J., however.

So far, pretty much anyone with a connection to New Jersey, Italian heritage or a moral compass has lashed out at the reality show for being offensive.

Meanwhile, pretty much anyone with a sense of humor and a love for train wreck TV totally tunes in anyway! Come on, Jersey Shore quotes are hilarious.

Some sponsors have bailed, but MTV is standing firmer than Ronnie's muscles after an HGH injection. Hey, what are they gonna show, The Hills reruns?

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Mike Sorrentino is known as The Situation on Jersey Shore.

He is also known as the guy who refers to himself in the third person (by his nickname no less) and walks around with no shirt pretty much constantly.

Well, before The Situation became a Jersey Shore cast member, the dude was used to situations in which he wore no shirt ... or pants for that matter.

We're saying he was a stripper.

The Stripper Situation

Mike Sorrentino (left) entertains at a bachelorette party.

According to TMZ, which unearthed classic pics of The Sitch, he was a member of the "All American Male" exotic dancer crew back before MTV stardom.

Mike Sorrentino worked for the group, which gyrates from New York to New Jersey, back in 2004. He now manages a gym on Staten Island (of course).

Rumor has it The Situation gives a "great lap dance." Maybe he could use that as a selling point to woo Sammi away from the juicehead guido Ronnie.

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Spencer Pratt may have a hot new single and a ridiculous house in Hollywood thanks to his success on The Hills, but the Jersey Shore cast is not impressed.

Asked about The Hills cast, Jersey's Ronnie Magro said of his fellow MTV reality stars: "I’m not crazy about them. We’re doing better than them right now."

"They’re really not that big of a deal," Ronnie adds, noting that the only thing the West Coasters can do better than the Shore guidos is "outspend" them.

The guidettes would welcome a throwdown as well.

"It would be awesome to do The Hills versus Jersey Shore, like Real World/Road Rules Challenge. We would torture them," Jenni "J-WOWW" Farley said.

"We’d ruin them,” she said. “I’d take on all six girls!"

Cast of Jersey Shore

The cast of Jersey Shore thinks it's already out of The Hills' league.

According to Mike Sorrentino, a.k.a. "The Situation," he and his fellow cast members already had a Hills run-in, and it was clear who was looking up at who.

“Somebody called our publicist in L.A. and said, 'The girls from The Hills want to sit next to you in a club,'" The Situation said. “As soon as we walked in, I saw some girl running at me. That happens a lot to us, so we didn’t know who."

"She almost tackled me. I went, ‘Oh, she’s kinda cute.’ Then I saw it was Kristin Cavallari. I like to think that I’ve always had it like this, but not to this extent!”

We can only hope for a crossover episode featuring Justin-Bobby and Kristin's fake relationship intertwined with ridiculous Jersey Shore quotes. Give it time.

Perhaps the biggest sign they’ve made it? Snooki and The Situation were parodied on Saturday Night Live. “I thought it was hilarious,” Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, said of Bobby Moynihan’s SNL Snooki parody of her. "He said what I would say."

Which MTV show's cast do you like better?

 

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Just because you're on Jersey Shore does not mean you have no brain.

Okay, it totally does. But the MTV show's Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola wants you to know that she goes to college, dammit! She's not an airhead trash bag!

"People watching wouldn't expect me to be in college," Sammi says. "I'm a student. I'm really smart. I'm artistic. I'm unique. They just see the party side."

That would be the side in which she says gonna knock a b!tch up for hookin' up with her man. But no matter. Sammi says she's, well, a smart Sweetheart.

In the time we've seen her on Jersey Shore so far, Sammi did some flirting with The Situation, only to realize she's more into the more juiced-up Ronnie.

Here's a cute screen cap of the Shore lovebirds ...

Sammi and Ronnie

This is not to say Sammi and Ronnie are not without their troubles. In last week's episode, Ronnie actually cried following a jealous argument with Sammi.

That led to some of the lamest Jersey Shore quotes yet, but at least Ronnie confessed to "smooshing" Sammi after they made up. Ronnie's a real softie.

"It's real life," Sammi says. "It's real feelings and real emotions. But I always had a really good feeling about him, so I knew that we would make it far."

They are still together. Sammi says she's not thinking "forever" yet, but next new episode, airing on New Year's Eve, show's Ronnie meeting her parents.

As for her career plans?

"I'm really artistic, so I really want to get into fashion designing and fashion styling," Sammi said. "That's, like, something I'm really, really interested in."

Hmm. If what we've seen from the girls (no pants, tight tops) and the guys (no shirts) on Jersey Shore is what she has in mind, we may have a problem.

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Alyssa Milano hates Jersey Shore and the stereotypes it creates.

An Italian-American raised on Staten Island (where several of the cast, including The Situation, are from or live), loathes the MTV show and all it stands for.

She's made that quite clear in this funny video.

Milano allowed herself to get the Jersey Shore treatment for a Funny or Die spoof, which makes her point many times over without a word spoken.

Like Jersey Shore quotes, the things some of these trash bags do to look "good" pretty much speak for themselves. We prefer the real Alyssa ...

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"This is a life changing video ... I know what I'm doing when I go out this weekend." - Co-owner and webmaster of The Hollywood Gossip, 3:30 p.m. EST

As Pauly D said on last week's episode of Jersey Shore, his hair is greatness.

But don't just take his word for it on the MTV show. Check out this tutorial he recently gave the New York Daily News on how he keeps that mane so fresh.

"You gotta blow it out and keep it high volume," says Pauly D, who says he spends at least 25-30 minutes a day on his hair (it's essential for the ladies).

Below, you may experience the unparalleled greatness from MTV's loud, proud, self-proclaimed guido whose Jersey Shore quotes enlighten us each week.

Sit back and learn from the master ...

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Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi from Jersey Shore, stopped by the Weekend Update desk on Saturday Night Live last night to share her insight on various topics.

The Princess of Poughkeepsie talked about this week's episode, which featured her getting knocked the f*%k out, as well as the traits she looks for in a guido.

The best thing about this faux interview with Snooki (played by SNL's Bobby Moynihan) is news anchor Seth Meyers trying to keep a straight face throughout.

Jersey Shore on Weekend Update

We can sympathize with Seth, given that, well, this is Jersey Shore. The SNL spoof was classic in that it only slightly exaggerates the absurdity of the real show.

Also making a brief cameo was The Situation (Mike Sorrentino, played by Bill Hader), showing off his seriously ripped abs, gold chains and slicked-back hair.

It's hard to even look at "Snooki" without bursting out laughing, so wait until you hear the audio of this scintillating Q&A. Check out the video after the jump ...

Continue Reading...

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After our review of last week's Jersey Shore received a positive response (well, mostly), The Hollywood Gossip is making reviews of the show a weekly thing.

Below, we break down all the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode four, "Fade to Black," awarding and deducting points as we deem fit.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie reminds us of a high-strung Peter Andre on steroids. Plus 4.

When Sammi finds out Jenni and Ronnie went home together, she assumes they're hooking up and says she will "knock a b!tch up!" She's all talk. Minus 3.

After they make up, Ronnie confesses his love (sort of) for Sammi, and they get. It. On. We know because they admit it. Openly. Sammi says "of course" they had sex, and Ronnie says they totally "smooshed." Plus 4 for the use of "smooshed."

Pauly D on first impressions: "You got to stay fresh. Fresh haircut. Fresh outfit. Fresh tan. Just fresh." Plus 2 for that deodorant slogan waiting to happen.

A word on Mike's third-person use of his nickname, "The Situation." It was funny the first 12 times, but saying it like twice per sentence? Overkill. Minus 3.

Mike and Pauly D spend the episode trying to bag as many trash bags as possible. Plus 6 for Pauly taking "the grenade" for the team, and for being very polite when he discovered he couldn't score with that girl because of her period.

Pauly D and The Situation

THE SITUATION AND DJ PAULY D: Caption rendered unnecessary.

Jenni (JWOWW) and her boyfriend fight on the phone over her hookup with Pauly. Minus 2 for boredom and Minus 2 more for constant use of the weird duck phone.

Plus 3 for the best excuse ever, courtesy of Snooki. Jenni was not being a trash bag of her own free will that night: house music made her do it. We've all been there.

Speaking of Snooki, you know this night is gonna get ugly when she wears a belt as a skirt (censorship required!). Minus 5 for the skank factor (even for this show).

Snooki's reply to her mom's observation that the beach looks dirty? "It's the Jersey Shore." Plus 6 for the inevitable press release from N.J.'s tourism department.

You knew it was coming: A guido named Brad Ferro yoinks one of the housemates' drinks. Snooki confronts him. Her a$$ proceeds to get knocked the f*%k out by this lunatic. Minus 9 for punching a chick, even one as annoying as Snooki.

Plus 5 for MTV pulling the Snooki sucker punch. Given Snooki's personality and the over-the-top nature of the show, it might seem funny (at least to the type of person who cracks up during a preview for I Am Sam), but it's no laughing matter.

TOTAL: +6! SEASON: +19! Still entertaining, and the Snooki drama made it a must-see, but the shore-ites annoyed us more than charmed us this week. What do you think? Is the novelty wearing off already or are you hooked?

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Gym teacher Brad Ferro punched Snooki (Nicole Pilozzi) in the face in what has become the most infamous scene from Jersey Shore, even though it hasn't aired yet (it was supposed to tonight) and MTV decided to edit out the brutal KO.

Now he wants her to know he's sorry.

"I am sick to my stomach," Brad Ferro tells the New York Post. "I can''t believe I'd ever do anything like that. I was raised to act in a respectful manner to women."

"I deeply regret what happened," he says of punching Snooki, which you can still see online if you must. "Nobody deserves that. That was not the real Brad Ferro."

Snooki Polizzi

Ferro was arrested back on August 19 after knocking Nicole Polizzi the f*%k out at the Beachcomber Bar & Grill in Seaside Heights, N.J., and was suspended from his job.

He also enrolled in anger management courses. That's a good thing.

Brad, who admits he "drank way too much" that night, says that just days before, he taught his students about bad decisions and the dangers of alcohol abuse.

"I remember very little from the incident," Ferro says. "It's all fuzzy. I remember a punch ... I don't remember who or why, but I do remember being arrested."

Ferro's lawyer Andrew Siben says his client has learned his lesson and "should be given a second chance to show he is a person of much higher character."

Jersey Shore airs tonight, sans Snooki punch, on MTV at 10 p.m.

Brad Ferro Mug Shots

Brad Ferro punched Snooki's lights out this summer.

The worst part: the attack was all over a drink. Ferro tried to take Snooki's cocktail and when she yelled at him for it, he retaliated ... with a fist. Loser.

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Jersey Shore's Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, may be living the dream as a newly-minted MTV reality star, but she's still gone through some hard knocks lately.

We're not talking about getting punched in the face by a dude either.

Snooki says she just got fired from her job after she told her boss she needed some time off to head to the West Coast at the end of last week for PR.

"I was a receptionist at a corporation," Snooki says. "I was getting decent money, like $13 an hour. I got fired when I asked for time off to go to L.A."

But it was for the best: "She knew I'd be crazy," she said of her boss.

Also crazy? The amount of phone calls she's gotten since Jersey Shore premiered: "A lot of people are calling my house. I've gotten so many texts."

The Jersey Shore madness returns at 10 p.m. tonight.

Snooki, along with co-stars The Situation, Pauly D and JWoww, said they met The Hills star Kristin Cavallari while nightclubbing over the weekend.

"She told us not to read stuff online," The Situation said. "I don't do that. Not that I care what people think, but you know people aren't gonna like you."

Come on, Mike. We love you, dog!

As Snooki puts it, "You're going to have haters and you're going to have lovers." Speaking of lovers, JWoww tells us she is still dating the same guy.

The one she was with when she first went on the show. In fact, they recently moved in together. Guess things didn't work out with Ronnie. Sad.

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