Jersey Shore

Gym teacher Brad Ferro punched Snooki (Nicole Pilozzi) in the face in what has become the most infamous scene from Jersey Shore, even though it hasn't aired yet (it was supposed to tonight) and MTV decided to edit out the brutal KO.

Now he wants her to know he's sorry.

"I am sick to my stomach," Brad Ferro tells the New York Post. "I can''t believe I'd ever do anything like that. I was raised to act in a respectful manner to women."

"I deeply regret what happened," he says of punching Snooki, which you can still see online if you must. "Nobody deserves that. That was not the real Brad Ferro."

Ferro was arrested back on August 19 after knocking Nicole Polizzi the f*%k out at the Beachcomber Bar & Grill in Seaside Heights, N.J., and was suspended from his job.

He also enrolled in anger management courses. That's a good thing.

Brad, who admits he "drank way too much" that night, says that just days before, he taught his students about bad decisions and the dangers of alcohol abuse.

"I remember very little from the incident," Ferro says. "It's all fuzzy. I remember a punch ... I don't remember who or why, but I do remember being arrested."

Ferro's lawyer Andrew Siben says his client has learned his lesson and "should be given a second chance to show he is a person of much higher character."

Jersey Shore airs tonight, sans Snooki punch, on MTV at 10 p.m.

Brad Ferro punched Snooki's lights out this summer.

The worst part: the attack was all over a drink. Ferro tried to take Snooki's cocktail and when she yelled at him for it, he retaliated ... with a fist. Loser.

Jersey Shore's Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, may be living the dream as a newly-minted MTV reality star, but she's still gone through some hard knocks lately.

We're not talking about getting punched in the face by a dude either.

Snooki says she just got fired from her job after she told her boss she needed some time off to head to the West Coast at the end of last week for PR.

"I was a receptionist at a corporation," Snooki says. "I was getting decent money, like $13 an hour. I got fired when I asked for time off to go to L.A."

But it was for the best: "She knew I'd be crazy," she said of her boss.

Also crazy? The amount of phone calls she's gotten since Jersey Shore premiered: "A lot of people are calling my house. I've gotten so many texts."

The Jersey Shore madness returns at 10 p.m. tonight.

Snooki, along with co-stars The Situation, Pauly D and JWoww, said they met The Hills star Kristin Cavallari while nightclubbing over the weekend.

"She told us not to read stuff online," The Situation said. "I don't do that. Not that I care what people think, but you know people aren't gonna like you."

Come on, Mike. We love you, dog!

As Snooki puts it, "You're going to have haters and you're going to have lovers." Speaking of lovers, JWoww tells us she is still dating the same guy.

The one she was with when she first went on the show. In fact, they recently moved in together. Guess things didn't work out with Ronnie. Sad.

MTV’s Jersey Shore is rapidly becoming America’s latest guilty pleasure - and not just for the cast's liberal use of hair gel and use of borderline offensive terms.

For these addictively trashy twenty-somethings, it's all about lookin' good. Livin' La Vida Guido may look like a joyride, but believe Pauly D, it takes some work.

"A guy from [the] Jersey Shore is a guy that is looking good, feeling confident, taking care of himself,” DJ Pauly D said of his now-infamous attire and hair.

"It takes me 25 minutes to get it right. Greatness takes time, and this hair right here is greatness. I have it down to a tee, but this is a process right here.”

You heard it here, folks. Greatness takes time.

Jersey Shore's The Situation, J-WOWW, Snooki and Pauly D.

"At the end of the day, it’s not about Italians coming together, it’s about a lifestyle,” says Jenni Farley (aka "J-WOWW") “We all live by a certain lifestyle."

"It's all about the hair, the makeup, the tans, being fit. It’s all preparation for the summer." Seconds Snooki (aka "Nicole Pilozzi"): "I look good in anything!"

As for critics who bash the show's Italian-American stereotyping, Mike Sorrentino (aka "The Situation") asks that fans of Jersey Shore show a little patience.

"It’s only the first episode and we’re only seven days in, so you have to give us a chance," says the Staten Island native. "You can’t judge a book by its cover."

No but with this show, you can come pretty close. If you haven't seen it, it's exactly as bad as you think it is ... but that doesn't mean it's not entertaining!

Just two weeks and three episodes into its first season, Jersey Shore has become a bona fide hit for MTV. Not that its cast is at all surprised or humble.

The reality show's following grew to 2.1 million viewers last week, a 50-percent bump over the two-hour premiere, which sparked some serious buzz.

Whether the show can sustain that growth - are the ratings just a result of early hype, or are people actually getting hooked? - remains to be seen.

Regardless, the Jersey Shore cast is feeling pretty good about things these days. Good enough, at least, to talk some sh!t about another MTV show.

"We're better than The Hills," Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki, said. "It's all real."

That's right. Even other MTV show casts think The Hills is fake.

"We are not fake; we don't try to present ourselves like we are fake," added her castmate, Jenni "JWOWW" Farley. Yes, her nickname is JWOWW.

"We don't put ourselves in front of the cameras with hair and makeup. We tell everyone how we feel. We don't say anything behind their backs."

Beef with Spencer Pratt et al. is the least of the show's worries.

MTV is still feeling heat from angry sponsors and Italian-American organizations who are offended by the show's use of the slang term "guido," which was featured heavily in the show's initial marketing, but absent from last week's episode.

The network also decided to cut footage of Snooki getting cold-cocked in the face by a man from this week's episode - but not before airing multiple shots of the punch (for which the meathead attacker was charged with assault) in promos for the show.

Jersey Shore has only aired three episodes, but it's already generating massive amounts of controversy - even in episodes that haven't even aired yet.

MTV has decided to pull footage of next week's situation - not The Situation - in which Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi gets punched in the face ... by a man.

Network execs ordered the cuts after downloaded copies of Thursday night's on-air Jersey Shore promo showing the sucker-punch caused a stir online.

Calling it a sucker punch may not even be an accurate term, actually, since the meathead is looking Nicole Polizzi in the face as he frickin' levels her.

"What happened to Snooki was a crime and obviously extremely disturbing," MTV said in a statement regarding its decision to pull the punch scene.

Snooki gets punched on next week's Jersey Shore.

"After hearing from our viewers and seeing how the video footage has been taken out of context not to show the severity of this act or resulting consequences, MTV has decided not to air Snooki being physically punched in the face."

The fight and its aftermath will be addressed, though, along with an ad sponsored by the loveisrespect and Teen Dating Abuse Helpline organization.

An MTV rep says no further cuts are planned (though the show interestingly stopped using the terms "guido" and "guidette" on this week's episode).

Dan Ferro, a Queens, N.Y., gym teacher, was the guy who hit Snooki, and was arrested on the spot. He was found guilty of assault, fined, sentenced to anger management counseling and given a six-month suspended jail term if he stays clean.

Here's the part of next week's Jersey Shore promo showing Snooki getting closed-fist cocked. It's rough. The guy may have gotten off too easily ...

Snooki Gets Punched

Mike Sorrentino, who "unveiled" his new persona The Situation on last night's episode of Jersey Shore, did not impress Sammi with the new moniker.

But he's already a hit with the MTV show's viewers, though, and it should come as no surprise that he's looking at getting The Situation trademarked.

Yes, really.

"I'm trying," Mike Sorrentino, the assistant manager of a gym (of course) when he's not tanning, boozing and pumping his fist on the Jersey beach.

"I'm in the process of it right now. I don't know if it's possible, but I'm trying ... They're actually selling 'I Love The Situation' panties on MTV.com!"

A 27-year-old native of Staten Island (of course) says he gets "bombarded all day long" with praise from friends and fans since the show debuted.

That's because Jersey Shore, with its self-described "guidos" and "guidettes" sharing a summer house in Seaside Heights, N.J., is a bona fide hit.

Negative stereotypes and offended Italian-Americans aside, Mike Sorrentino makes no apologies for bragging about living what he calls the Guido Lifestyle.

"I'm very confident in being Italian," he says. "I'm proud to have spiky hair and to have my six-pack. Whoever doesn't like it, I'm not really too worried about it because everybody should love themselves. If you don't love yourself, who will?"

Obviously not housemate Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancarlo.

After a heavy flirtation with Mike, Sammie ended up hooking up with the most muscled housemate, Ronnie Magro, on last night's Jersey Shore.

"I was a little upset," Mike admits. "I am a little bit of a wild kid but at the same time, I have that sensitive side. I would love to settle down."

Well, there are always gay guys to make him feel better: "I'll be honest, I definitely like the attention," he says of his appeal to the other team.

"I'm flattered if there are guys that have crushes on me."

Saying Jersey Shore is a bad show is an understatement, and kind of missing the point. MTV is in on the joke this time, and turning the trash quotient up to 11.

The Hollywood Gossip staff has reviewed last night's episode in the style of our The City and The Hills reviews, awarding and deducting points as we deem fit.

Leave a comment with your own pluses and minuses, and your feedback in general. If our Jersey Shore review "gels" with you, we'll make it a regular thing...

Last week's episode was "The Tanned Triangle." Like the Bermuda Triangle, only less mysterious, and more exposed to the sun. Tanning bed style. Plus 2.

Jenni, like, doesn't even remember that she hooked up with Pauly. Did she forget running out da club with his sweaty tank top, too? Minus 3, you lush!

Angelina's friends are Alana and Elena. We're not sure if all "guidettes" must elect names ending in "na" to gain acceptance, but we'll buy it if so. Plus 2.

Gelled but contemplative, Pauly says she didn't want to come off like a "trash bag." Wrong show for that, sister. Minus only 1, because it's all relative.

We're only gonna say it once, because it applies every second: These guidos have enough oil in their hair to join OPEC! Sorry. Plus 2 for us going there.

HERE'S THE SITUATION: No, really. That's his name now.

Mike, a.k.a. The Situation, can't get over Sammi, a.k.a. Sweetheart, trading him for younger, more ripped guido Ronnie. It's everyone's worst fear. Plus 3.

When Nicole, a.k.a. Snooki, comes off as the smartest, reserved and polite, our society may be done for. Or at least New Jersey may be over as a state. Minus 5.

Trying (in vain) to navigate BF drama amid the Pauly hookup, Jenni says she's been "acting like a nun" and needs to party! So virtuous, indeed. Plus 11.

Angelina's boyfriend Mike makes an appearance. The distance thing is hurting their relationship. The fact that he's married can't help either. Minus 17.

Angelina decides to call in sick from work ... only she doesn't call, she walks in late to tell them ... she's not coming in. LOL. Minus 5, because these people are obviously buffoons, but you'd think they'd have heard of an invention called the phone.

Plus 12 for the house's collective reaction to Angie leaving. That reaction being no reaction. Not even getting up off the furniture. It's an emotional crew.

Sammi + Ronnie = Real. His word, not ours. Plus 6.

Jealous, Mike unveils "The Situation." Sammi doesn't flinch. Minus 3, but Plus 9 later when Ronnie grinds with some chick, Sammi gives her number to a strange guy in retaliation, Jenni sees this and rats her out, and Ronnie leaves in a huff.

TOTAL: +13! While advertisers and locals may not be fans, you can see why Jersey Shore has already attracted a so-bad-it's-good following. Thoughts?

Jersey Shore is MTV's newest reality "hit."

But advertisers can't wait to hit the road.

After a flat-out ridiculous series premiere, Domino's Pizza pulled its ads from the show. American Family Insurance noticed its ads running and did the same.

The episode, which "outraged" at least one major Italian group, is going to be running only promos for other crappy MTV shows during breaks at this rate.

That said if you're an advertiser looking to sell hair gel, fist-pumping instructional DVDs, tramp stamps, spinning rims or gold chains, there are openings!

The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore. It's a lifestyle.

Meanwhile, according to new reports, the Jersey Shore Conventions and Tourism Board isn't smitten with the way their turf comes off on the program.

The tagline of "hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos" may play a role in that.

"We're flattered that MTV thinks we're an interesting enough destination to warrant an entire reality series," the tourism group said in a statement.

"But the national TV audience is hardly getting the full story." MTV is providing a one-dimensional, dramatized version of a very small group of visitors."

"We welcome visitors to come here, even during the holiday season, to enjoy a cultural diversity that in no way reflects what is seen on MTV."

We would really, really hope so.

"I'm the sweetest bitch you'll ever meet." - Sammi

"After I have sex with a guy, I will rip their heads off." - Jenni

"Guidos... when we stop, our chrome keeps spinnin'! I was born and raised a Guido. It's just a lifestyle. It's about bein' Italian. It's representin' family, friends, tanning, gel, everything. Dude I got a f**kin' tanning bed in my place, that's how serious I am about bein' a Guido and living up to that lifestyle. My tagline is 'I'm Your Girl's Favorite DJ.' I want the girls to c** in their pants when they hear my music." - Pauly D

It suddenly makes perfect sense why MTV renewed The Hills and The City despite sagging ratings and dwindling fan bases. The network's new shows are worse!

On this week's debut of Jersey Shore, which we've been waiting for since the Guido-hyping promo, eight roomies moved into a Seaside Heights, N.J., home.

The quotes above sum it up as well as we can in this space. Here's the full Jersey Shore premiere, which really has to be seen to be believed ...

Jersey Shore Series Premiere

If we were residents of New Jersey, we'd probably be incredibly offended ... unless we were the types who had tanning beds in our homes. Then we'd be all for it.

Truth is stranger than fiction, and some things you simply couldn't make up.

This was true in the case of Carrie Prejean on Larry King last night, an interview a hissy fit conjuring up memories of pre-school as it awkwardly played out.

It is also true of the trailer for MTV's new series Jersey Shore, which airs its first (and hopefully last) episode December 3 on that sad excuse for a network.

Remember when MTV's reason for being was to play and talk about music? At some point they decided this had run its course, and instead, they would focus on their "original" programming. The only problem? It's all unwatchable dreck.

Tuesday night during The City, the first promo for Jersey Shore aired, with an enticing hook: "MTV is taking you inside a shore house like you have never seen, full of the hottest, tannest, craziest Guidos!" Yes, they said guidos. Really:

Jersey Shore Trailer

If you want to watch a bunch of losers who "keep their hair high, their muscles juiced, and their fists pumping all summer long," this is the show for you!

And you need to see a psychiatrist ASAP.