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The Jersey Shore cast has gone from a random, juiced-up bunch of ill-tempered meatheads to borderline celebrity status in a span of just a couple of weeks.

Now they're welcoming a new star into the mix.

Actor Michael Cera of Superbad, Juno, Arrested Development and now Youth in Revolt visited the cast and was given a full makeover - Jersey Shore style.

Michael's visit will be shown in series of promos this Thursday while a new episode of Jersey Shore airs. As you can see below, he channels Pauly D's hair.

Whether the lovable actor's hair can hang with the ultimate guido and "Rhode Island's most famous DJ" remains to be seen. Vote in our survey below ...

  • Michael Cera Photo
  • DJ Pauly D Pic

Who's got the better hair?

 

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MTV's Jersey Shore returned with an all-new, festive, New Year's Eve episode last night, and lucky for you, The Hollywood Gossip has its weekly rundown.

Below, we break down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode five, "Just Another Day at the Shore," awarding and deducting points.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie cannot believe that while the rest of the gang tends to Snooki, who got knocked out in the previous episode, Mike is still trolling for chicks out on the boardwalk. Or, as Ronnie put it, "The Situation's creepin'." Plus 8.

One last note on the fight. Brad Ferro is a moron who should never have hit Snooki. But when you scream explatives at someone and flick drinks in his face, well, you can't say it was totally unprovoked. We're just saying, Snook. Minus 4.

These guys swear. A lot. Even in situations that don't really require profane language. There was a 20-second stretch of basically one long bleep. Plus 3.

Nice pit stains, JWOWW. Minus 2.

Ronnie, the biggest, most juiced up guido of them all, is a softie at heart and a total mama's boy who just wants his family to like Sam. Who knew?! Plus 4.

Tending to Snooki

THE AFTERMATH: The gang tends to Schnookems.

Snooki doesn't eat lobster because "they're alive when you kill it." Plus 3.

The girls go tanning. At a salon. In the summer. At the beach. Minus 3.

On a warm day, the gang goes on a boat. Plus 2 for conjuring up images of Andy Samberg and T-Pain. Plus 4 more because the boat is named "Forgetaboutit."

Pauly D boasts that his hair is waterproof and windproof. Impressive, but we're calling it Even because no one, not even the great DJ Pauly D, needs that much gel.

JWOWW does not come across well in this episode. A territorial animal who goes out looking to start fights, she belongs on the National Geographic Channel. Minus 7.

Mike, Vinny and Pauly D put the moves on a group of three girls, who Pauly D notes (with a certain element of surprise, but also with respect) are nice girls who actually want to be treated like human beings and not whores. Plus 8.

Really, JWOWW's boyfriend? Flowers? You can do better man. Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Vinny hooking up with his boss' girlfriend. Vinny had done very little this season so far, and this all-out d!ck move should lead to some quality drama. Plus 1 more for Vinny christening Pauly D "the ultimate guido."

TOTAL: +18! SEASON: +37! This was probably our favorite episode so far, because it didn't stick to one overdramatic story. We got to see the guidos and guidettes do their thing and amuse us in many different scenarios. Until next week ...

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Advertisers, natives of Seaside Heights, N.J., and most people with morals hate it, but Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi isn't worried about negative stereotypes.

When Steppin' Out magazine asked "Snooki" what she would say to all the companies who have pulled ads from the controversial MTV show, she stated:

"I just have one thing to say to Domino's, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there: F**k you! If you don't want to watch, then don't watch."

Snooki added: "Just shut the hell up! I'm serious... F**k you!"

You can see how she ended up getting punched in the face. We're not saying she deserved it, just that you can see where Brad Ferro was coming from.

Snooki Photo

Snooki calls herself "the f*%king Princess of Poughkeepsie." Enough said.

UNICO, the Italian-American organization that claims the show perpetuates negative stereotypes, plans to keep pressuring sponsors to boycott the show.

"She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans. She is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!" UNICO said of Snooki in a statement.

No comment.

Italian-American groups and advertisers aren't the only ones pissed. Even the New Jersey town that's home to the series wants nothing to do with it.

Tomorrow night, they'll have even more Jersey Shore quotes to get offended by. The show returns in its usual, Thursday time slot at 10 p.m. on MTV.

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Ed Hardy t-shirts, diamond earrings and too much hair products have become the signature look of Jon Gosselin the hit MTV reality show Jersey Shore.

"My personal style is fresh to death," says Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio. "You know the produce section, like where the food is fresh? That's my style."

That's one of the lamest Jersey Shore quotes we've ever heard, and it didn't even take place on the show. Hey, at least the tools are being themselves.

Last week, celebrity gossip magazine Life & Style embared on the difficult task of giving these up-and-coming reality stars a newer, classier image ...

Jersey Shore Crew

The gang was invited to ditch the shore and step onto the red carpet at one of NYC's most exclusive clubs, Greenhouse, with its dress-your-best policy.

There, they modeled some iconic Hollywood looks of recent years and they pulled it off like the pros - including Kim Kardashian - they were emulating.

"I like to walk into the room and have everyone notice what I'm wearing," says Nicole Polizzi, also known as the overly tanned and ridiculous Snooki.

That's what always happens, Snooks. But not for the reason you think.

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The Jersey Shore wants nothing to do with Jersey Shore.

No, really, an entire beach community in the state of New Jersey is banding together to defend itself and wash its collective hands of MTV's new hit reality show.

The Borough of Seaside Heights issued a statement (who knew an entire borough could issue a statement) informing people that basically, it's not their idea!

The residents of the town where the show is primarily set want to make it clear they did not "solicit, promote or participate" in the making of Jersey Shore.

Jersey Shore Cast Pic

The Jersey Shore cast has many fans. None in Seaside Heights, N.J., however.

So far, pretty much anyone with a connection to New Jersey, Italian heritage or a moral compass has lashed out at the reality show for being offensive.

Meanwhile, pretty much anyone with a sense of humor and a love for train wreck TV totally tunes in anyway! Come on, Jersey Shore quotes are hilarious.

Some sponsors have bailed, but MTV is standing firmer than Ronnie's muscles after an HGH injection. Hey, what are they gonna show, The Hills reruns?

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Mike Sorrentino is known as The Situation on Jersey Shore.

He is also known as the guy who refers to himself in the third person (by his nickname no less) and walks around with no shirt pretty much constantly.

Well, before The Situation became a Jersey Shore cast member, the dude was used to situations in which he wore no shirt ... or pants for that matter.

We're saying he was a stripper.

The Stripper Situation

Mike Sorrentino (left) entertains at a bachelorette party.

According to TMZ, which unearthed classic pics of The Sitch, he was a member of the "All American Male" exotic dancer crew back before MTV stardom.

Mike Sorrentino worked for the group, which gyrates from New York to New Jersey, back in 2004. He now manages a gym on Staten Island (of course).

Rumor has it The Situation gives a "great lap dance." Maybe he could use that as a selling point to woo Sammi away from the juicehead guido Ronnie.

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Spencer Pratt may have a hot new single and a ridiculous house in Hollywood thanks to his success on The Hills, but the Jersey Shore cast is not impressed.

Asked about The Hills cast, Jersey's Ronnie Magro said of his fellow MTV reality stars: "I’m not crazy about them. We’re doing better than them right now."

"They’re really not that big of a deal," Ronnie adds, noting that the only thing the West Coasters can do better than the Shore guidos is "outspend" them.

The guidettes would welcome a throwdown as well.

"It would be awesome to do The Hills versus Jersey Shore, like Real World/Road Rules Challenge. We would torture them," Jenni "J-WOWW" Farley said.

"We’d ruin them,” she said. “I’d take on all six girls!"

Cast of Jersey Shore

The cast of Jersey Shore thinks it's already out of The Hills' league.

According to Mike Sorrentino, a.k.a. "The Situation," he and his fellow cast members already had a Hills run-in, and it was clear who was looking up at who.

“Somebody called our publicist in L.A. and said, 'The girls from The Hills want to sit next to you in a club,'" The Situation said. “As soon as we walked in, I saw some girl running at me. That happens a lot to us, so we didn’t know who."

"She almost tackled me. I went, ‘Oh, she’s kinda cute.’ Then I saw it was Kristin Cavallari. I like to think that I’ve always had it like this, but not to this extent!”

We can only hope for a crossover episode featuring Justin-Bobby and Kristin's fake relationship intertwined with ridiculous Jersey Shore quotes. Give it time.

Perhaps the biggest sign they’ve made it? Snooki and The Situation were parodied on Saturday Night Live. “I thought it was hilarious,” Snooki, a.k.a. Nicole Polizzi, said of Bobby Moynihan’s SNL Snooki parody of her. "He said what I would say."

Which MTV show's cast do you like better?

 

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Just because you're on Jersey Shore does not mean you have no brain.

Okay, it totally does. But the MTV show's Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola wants you to know that she goes to college, dammit! She's not an airhead trash bag!

"People watching wouldn't expect me to be in college," Sammi says. "I'm a student. I'm really smart. I'm artistic. I'm unique. They just see the party side."

That would be the side in which she says gonna knock a b!tch up for hookin' up with her man. But no matter. Sammi says she's, well, a smart Sweetheart.

In the time we've seen her on Jersey Shore so far, Sammi did some flirting with The Situation, only to realize she's more into the more juiced-up Ronnie.

Here's a cute screen cap of the Shore lovebirds ...

Sammi and Ronnie

This is not to say Sammi and Ronnie are not without their troubles. In last week's episode, Ronnie actually cried following a jealous argument with Sammi.

That led to some of the lamest Jersey Shore quotes yet, but at least Ronnie confessed to "smooshing" Sammi after they made up. Ronnie's a real softie.

"It's real life," Sammi says. "It's real feelings and real emotions. But I always had a really good feeling about him, so I knew that we would make it far."

They are still together. Sammi says she's not thinking "forever" yet, but next new episode, airing on New Year's Eve, show's Ronnie meeting her parents.

As for her career plans?

"I'm really artistic, so I really want to get into fashion designing and fashion styling," Sammi said. "That's, like, something I'm really, really interested in."

Hmm. If what we've seen from the girls (no pants, tight tops) and the guys (no shirts) on Jersey Shore is what she has in mind, we may have a problem.

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Alyssa Milano hates Jersey Shore and the stereotypes it creates.

An Italian-American raised on Staten Island (where several of the cast, including The Situation, are from or live), loathes the MTV show and all it stands for.

She's made that quite clear in this funny video.

Milano allowed herself to get the Jersey Shore treatment for a Funny or Die spoof, which makes her point many times over without a word spoken.

Like Jersey Shore quotes, the things some of these trash bags do to look "good" pretty much speak for themselves. We prefer the real Alyssa ...

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"This is a life changing video ... I know what I'm doing when I go out this weekend." - Co-owner and webmaster of The Hollywood Gossip, 3:30 p.m. EST

As Pauly D said on last week's episode of Jersey Shore, his hair is greatness.

But don't just take his word for it on the MTV show. Check out this tutorial he recently gave the New York Daily News on how he keeps that mane so fresh.

"You gotta blow it out and keep it high volume," says Pauly D, who says he spends at least 25-30 minutes a day on his hair (it's essential for the ladies).

Below, you may experience the unparalleled greatness from MTV's loud, proud, self-proclaimed guido whose Jersey Shore quotes enlighten us each week.

Sit back and learn from the master ...

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