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Welcome to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, where readers submit the funniest caption(s) for the photo below! Today's subjects should make it easy.

Yup, it's Pauly D, The Situation, Snooki and JWoww of Jersey Shore. With Mike Tyson, former boxing champ and current dude with a tattoo on his face. His face.

What could they be thinking or saying?

You tell us! Click "Comments" below and send in your very own Jersey Shore quotes for this pic. We'll announce a winner tomorrow. Have fun and go to it ...

Jersey Shore Cast and Mike Tyson

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You know it's sad when a Jersey Shore cast member is something you aspire to be. But that's exactly where The Hills star Kristin Cavallari is at these days.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of jealous," Kristin Cavallari said when asked about the new hit MTV show at her 23rd birthday party Saturday night at Beso.

Jersey Shore brought in more than 3.2 million viewers during last week's episode, an all-time high for the freshman series in its brief, ultra-trashy history.

By comparison, ratings for The Hills ratings dropped significantly during this past season, the first one in which Kristin replaced retired star Lauren Conrad.

We're not sure that's a coincidence.

  • The Situation
  • Kristin C. Pic

The Situation (pun intended) at MTV right now is that Jersey Shore is clobbering The Hills' most recent season's ratings. Kristin Cavallari would jump ship if asked!

Just 1.72 million viewers saw the October season 5 finale of The Hills, while 2.6 million viewers watched the season 4 finale and more still the prior season.

No wonder Kristin Cavallari wants a piece of the Jersey Shore action. Her favorite character on that show: "The Situation," she said. "I mean, come on, right?"

Right.

She said she'd even date a guido herself. "Maybe, if I liked him," the blonde Laguna Beach alum confessed. "I mean, if I was attracted to him, absolutely."

How can you not be attracted to The Situation quotes? Come on.

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Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola of Jersey Shore are still together - and serious! That's not exactly surprising, as she's had him whipped from day one!

“I care about her deeply and I see it going for a long time,” Magro says, nauseatingly. “I don’t really want to jinx anything [but] I love being with her."

I have a best friend that’s my girlfriend, which is hard to find.”

Seconds Sammi Giancola, a.k.a. Sweetheart: “I’m very happy and content with my life right now. Things are just amazing. I’m just gonna go with it.”

Guess they made up after last week's "Boardwalk Blowups."

Neither of them expected to leave the beach house in Seaside Heights, N.J., in a relationship, but to hear Ronnie Magro tell it, he simply had no choice.

Sammi and Ronnie Photo

Sammi and Ronnie from Jersey Shore.

“Her legs caught my eye,” he says, laughing. “I have the best-looking girl. I’d rather be with Sammi than bring home disasters like Mike and Pauly!”

Sammi says that she doesn’t miss single life either. “Ronnie does a lot of romantic things for me all the time.” she says of her man, also nauseatingly.

“He’s brought me flowers to my house before, he takes me out to really, really nice restaurants, buys me dinner all the time. He’s just a great guy.”

“It’s great. He became my best friend, so we do everything together. The house is messier, but in every other aspect, he makes everything easier.”

They are kind of cute together, we suppose. Well, relatively. At least as much as two members of the Jersey Shore cast could possibly be together.

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MTV's Jersey Shore was in effect last night and The Hollywood Gossip was watching when the grenade went off, we assure you. Below is our weekly rundown.

Just for you, we've broken down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode six, awarding and deducting points as we deem fit. Let's get to it:

Vinny does not actually get fired from work. Plus 1, because he didn't deserve to, but we expected drama after he hooked up with Danny's girl last week.

They roommates are annoyed by Sammi and Ronnie doing their thing and ruining group bonding time. Didn't they all just meet on this MTV show? Minus 5.

GTL = Gym, tanning and laundry. That's how The Situation and Pauly D roll. Plus 3. Vinny says he prefers basketball, pool and beach. Amen. Plus 2 more.

The Situation at the club: "It's like the Navy Seals. I get sent out first, do a little reconnaissance, bring girls back." Too bad he never goes MIA. Minus 1.

Vinny's family comes to visit and his mother cooks a big meal for the cast. Approximately 73 Italians rolled with her. We didn't even bat an eye. Plus 3.

Situation

GTL: Gym, tanning, laundry. That's how guidos roll.

Ronnie and Sammi get into one of the lamest fights in the history of reality TV, which is really saying something. She is becoming a real nightmare. Minus 17.

The Situation is doing his thing and meets up with some girl. Standard. Little does he know's bringing "The Grenade" back and a friend, "The Hippo." Plus 8.

Pauly D won't take "The Grenade" on again. Mike then asks Snooki if she'll "take out the trash." Minus 5, because that's a little low, even for this show.

Plus 10 for "The Hippo" charging Snooki, though. Plus 2 more for Pauly D's awesome quote: "Someone needs to teach her how to fight or duck."

Ronnie goes into "prime creep mode." Minus 2 for the overuse of "creepin'" this week, and Minus 2 more for the obvious attempt to rile Sammi up.

Big fight! Synopsis: Ronnie and Sammi are walking. Guy insults them. Sammi insults him back. Ronnie shoves Sammi, telling her stop. She storms off. Ronnie charges guy. Plus 5 because this isn't even the fight that got Ronnie Magro arrested.

TOTAL: +5! SEASON: +42! Such tools. And yet we watch.

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Jersey Shore just premiered like a month ago, but what we're hearing is that the cast of MTV's new hit will be back for another summer in Seaside Heights.

Vinny Guadagnino let it slip this week that he and the fist-pumping, beer-guzzling Italian-Americans we've come to laugh at with will be back next summer.

"They want us to do another season," he said at a Youth in Revolt after-party at La Pomme. Really, who can blame the network for wanting to run it back?

The self-proclaimed guidos have gained instant celeb status, becoming staples on TV, celebrity gossip sites and at various nightlife events around the U.S.

So which venues meet the criteria? Those that can cough up cash!

Jersey Shore Cast Picture

Jersey Shore is a virtual lock for a second season.

Getting the entire Jersey Shore cast to an event can cost $30,000, and it's not like that's an asking price that no one's biting at - these tools are everywhere.

Individually, they aren't any cheaper. Fist-pumping with Mike (The Situation) and DJ Pauly D costs $7,500 per tough guy. Vinny, meanwhile, gets $3,500.

Those interested in getting to know lovebirds Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola can take advantage of a special package deal: A modest $3,000! A steal!

As for the shore's resident drama queen, an event featuring the annoying Oompa Loompa Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi goes for as much as $7,500.

Fire and brimstone not included.

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Move over, Snooki. You aren't the only Jersey Shore cast member involved in a physical altercation on the new reality show that's become a hit for MTV.

Ronnie Magro, known as the most juiced up of all the guidos but (mostly) a softie at heart, was arrested back in September after getting into a fight.

Snooks is Back

You better believe the cameras were rollin' too.

According to Seaside Heights, N.J., Police Chief Thomas Boyd, Ronnie (who also goes by Ronnie Ortiz-Magro) was arrested Sept. 4 for aggravated assault.

Ronnie told People that the charges were later dismissed, but adds that he did spend a few hours in jail, had a mug shot taken and paid $600 for bail.

However, Mike Mohl, chief of detectives with the Ocean County prosecutor’s office, says the case is with prosecutors and under review for further action.

Either way, Ronnie Magro won't repeat this mistake.

“I definitely felt out of place,” Ronnie Magro of being behind bars. “It’s definitely a place I never want to go back to again. Definitely a lesson learned.”

Still, Magro says he was provoked while walking home from a bar with Snooki and costar Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, who he is currently dating.

Magro says the other person involved was being disrespectful to his friends andshouting “racist” remarks at their African-American security guards.

Footage of the altercation will air in a future Jersey Shore episode, unlike the footage of Brad Ferro knocking Nicole Polizzi out cold in a separate fight.

“I’m really not a person who likes to fight,” Magro said. “He was just being a drunk jerk, saw the camera … [and] I think he chased us down like two blocks or something like that. At that point, you’re like, ‘What am I gonna do?’”

Magro also gets into a separate brawl on this week's episode.

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The Jersey Shore cast has gone from a random, juiced-up bunch of ill-tempered meatheads to borderline celebrity status in a span of just a couple of weeks.

Now they're welcoming a new star into the mix.

Actor Michael Cera of Superbad, Juno, Arrested Development and now Youth in Revolt visited the cast and was given a full makeover - Jersey Shore style.

Michael's visit will be shown in series of promos this Thursday while a new episode of Jersey Shore airs. As you can see below, he channels Pauly D's hair.

Whether the lovable actor's hair can hang with the ultimate guido and "Rhode Island's most famous DJ" remains to be seen. Vote in our survey below ...

  • Michael Cera Photo
  • DJ Pauly D Pic

Who's got the better hair?

 

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MTV's Jersey Shore returned with an all-new, festive, New Year's Eve episode last night, and lucky for you, The Hollywood Gossip has its weekly rundown.

Below, we break down the drama in Seaside Heights, N.J., on last night's episode five, "Just Another Day at the Shore," awarding and deducting points.

Leave a comment with your own pluses, minuses, and feedback ...

Ronnie cannot believe that while the rest of the gang tends to Snooki, who got knocked out in the previous episode, Mike is still trolling for chicks out on the boardwalk. Or, as Ronnie put it, "The Situation's creepin'." Plus 8.

One last note on the fight. Brad Ferro is a moron who should never have hit Snooki. But when you scream explatives at someone and flick drinks in his face, well, you can't say it was totally unprovoked. We're just saying, Snook. Minus 4.

These guys swear. A lot. Even in situations that don't really require profane language. There was a 20-second stretch of basically one long bleep. Plus 3.

Nice pit stains, JWOWW. Minus 2.

Ronnie, the biggest, most juiced up guido of them all, is a softie at heart and a total mama's boy who just wants his family to like Sam. Who knew?! Plus 4.

Tending to Snooki

THE AFTERMATH: The gang tends to Schnookems.

Snooki doesn't eat lobster because "they're alive when you kill it." Plus 3.

The girls go tanning. At a salon. In the summer. At the beach. Minus 3.

On a warm day, the gang goes on a boat. Plus 2 for conjuring up images of Andy Samberg and T-Pain. Plus 4 more because the boat is named "Forgetaboutit."

Pauly D boasts that his hair is waterproof and windproof. Impressive, but we're calling it Even because no one, not even the great DJ Pauly D, needs that much gel.

JWOWW does not come across well in this episode. A territorial animal who goes out looking to start fights, she belongs on the National Geographic Channel. Minus 7.

Mike, Vinny and Pauly D put the moves on a group of three girls, who Pauly D notes (with a certain element of surprise, but also with respect) are nice girls who actually want to be treated like human beings and not whores. Plus 8.

Really, JWOWW's boyfriend? Flowers? You can do better man. Minus 4.

Plus 5 for Vinny hooking up with his boss' girlfriend. Vinny had done very little this season so far, and this all-out d!ck move should lead to some quality drama. Plus 1 more for Vinny christening Pauly D "the ultimate guido."

TOTAL: +18! SEASON: +37! This was probably our favorite episode so far, because it didn't stick to one overdramatic story. We got to see the guidos and guidettes do their thing and amuse us in many different scenarios. Until next week ...

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Advertisers, natives of Seaside Heights, N.J., and most people with morals hate it, but Jersey Shore's Nicole Polizzi isn't worried about negative stereotypes.

When Steppin' Out magazine asked "Snooki" what she would say to all the companies who have pulled ads from the controversial MTV show, she stated:

"I just have one thing to say to Domino's, Dell, UNICO and all the other haters out there: F**k you! If you don't want to watch, then don't watch."

Snooki added: "Just shut the hell up! I'm serious... F**k you!"

You can see how she ended up getting punched in the face. We're not saying she deserved it, just that you can see where Brad Ferro was coming from.

Snooki Photo

Snooki calls herself "the f*%king Princess of Poughkeepsie." Enough said.

UNICO, the Italian-American organization that claims the show perpetuates negative stereotypes, plans to keep pressuring sponsors to boycott the show.

"She is not an embarrassment to Italian Americans. She is actually an embarrassment to the entire human race!!!!" UNICO said of Snooki in a statement.

No comment.

Italian-American groups and advertisers aren't the only ones pissed. Even the New Jersey town that's home to the series wants nothing to do with it.

Tomorrow night, they'll have even more Jersey Shore quotes to get offended by. The show returns in its usual, Thursday time slot at 10 p.m. on MTV.

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Ed Hardy t-shirts, diamond earrings and too much hair products have become the signature look of Jon Gosselin the hit MTV reality show Jersey Shore.

"My personal style is fresh to death," says Paul "DJ Pauly D" Delvecchio. "You know the produce section, like where the food is fresh? That's my style."

That's one of the lamest Jersey Shore quotes we've ever heard, and it didn't even take place on the show. Hey, at least the tools are being themselves.

Last week, celebrity gossip magazine Life & Style embared on the difficult task of giving these up-and-coming reality stars a newer, classier image ...

Jersey Shore Crew

The gang was invited to ditch the shore and step onto the red carpet at one of NYC's most exclusive clubs, Greenhouse, with its dress-your-best policy.

There, they modeled some iconic Hollywood looks of recent years and they pulled it off like the pros - including Kim Kardashian - they were emulating.

"I like to walk into the room and have everyone notice what I'm wearing," says Nicole Polizzi, also known as the overly tanned and ridiculous Snooki.

That's what always happens, Snooks. But not for the reason you think.