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Who knew Ronnie and J-Woww could even read? Not us, but both Jersey Shore stars apparently signed a book deal! - and talk about a page-turner!

Never Fall In Love At the Jersey Shore, a Guido's guide to how to maintain the oh-so distinctive Jersey Shore look and attitude, brought to you by two of the show’s degenerate houseguests, J-Woww and Ronnie, is due out sometime this year.

And you wonder by the publishing industry is in decline. Then again, Lauren Conrad wrote a New York Times best-seller, so you never know, right?

  • Ronnie (Jersey Shore)
  • JWOWW Picture

Ronnie and J-Woww: Soon-to-be authors.

For reasons very much unclear, St. Martin’s Press enlisted Jenni Farley and Ronnie Magro to break down Shore living. We assume that includes a guide to:

  • GTL (Gym, Tanning, Laundry)
  • FHTB (Feverish Hot Tub Boinking)
  • FGFB (Flaunting Giant Fake Boobs)
  • BUEFN (Breaking Up Every F*$kin' Night)
  • GABTCAMGSAGIFWRJOTB (Getting Arrested By The Cops After Making Gay Slurs and Getting in Fights with Random Jackasses on the Boardwalk)

No doubt the advice will be something to cherish for life.

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Jersey Shore Season Two is ready for takeoff.

Literally. MTV has instructed their rag tag band of juiced up meatheads and mediocre skanks to pack their stuff and prepare to defame an unnamed new city.

Camera crews will apparently start paying visits to the homes of Snooki, The Situation, DJ Pauly D, Ronnie, Vinny, Jwoww, and Sammi this coming weekend.

The network is attempting to get footage of them all as they attempt to cram tanning beds, industrial strength cans of gel and Ed Hardy shirts into carry-ons.

The Cast of Jersey Shore

WARNING: These people may be headed to a beach near you. Pack now.

The Jersey Shore cast is supposed to fly out to Season 2's mystery location some time next week ... where will they be creepin' on, exactly? It's a bit unclear.

All indications are that it will be Miami's South Beach, which is really the only logical destination, although this has not officially been confirmed by the network.

We could see that ... unlike, say, Jersey Shore: Cape Cod.

Also no word yet on whether Angelina Pivarnick made the cut and was asked to come along, or if anyone besides us even knows who Angelina Pivarnick is.

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The Jersey Shore cast just screams high fashion, doesn't it?

Somehow, the Ed Hardy-wearing, fake-tanned likes of J-Woww, Snooki, and Sammi and their tight "going out" top glory are featured in Harper's Bazaar.

In related news, The Situation will be guest-editing Vogue.

You have to give the girls credit for cleaning up nicely, though, even if Snookz can't pose for a picture without wearing that ridiculous grin (or something).

Classy Jersey Girls

DOLLS: The women of Jersey Shore get classy.

Perhaps J-Woww summed up the experience best on Twitter: “Harper Bizaar shoot in 6 hrs and can’t sleep :( ... Omg to the Harper’s Bazaar Shoot. Prior to the show I never purchased one mag/ now I’m in a lot of em! I buy 10 a wk! They’re addicting!”

So true.

All three of the ladies shown above will appear in the magazine, and at least for their standards, they look (dare we say it) pretty classy in the process.

J-Woww nude in Playboy, it ain't!

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The Jersey Shore cast is ready to take Miami.

But first it's off to L.A. for a press tour for Snooki, DJ Pauly D, The Situation, Vinny, Sammi and Ronnie. Are they ready for L.A.? Hells yeah these guidos are.

But is L.A. ready for them?

Doesn't look like it has much of a choice, but here's the cast of MTV's breakout hit, mugging for the cameras right after touching down at LAX Airport ...

Jersey Shore Cast in the House

DIRTY HALF-DOZEN: The Jersey Shore cast members arrive in a location where some people besides them are actually tan. Possibly from the sun, even. Novel concept.

The gang appears to be in fine, orange, Ed Hardy-wearing form. We can't wait to see where they turn up next ... actually we can, but will find out for you anyway.

Click to enlarge more pictures of the Jersey Shore cast at LAX ...

  • Mike and Sammi
  • Ron n' Mike
  • Mike, Pauly
  • Snook Pic
  • The Cast in L.A.
  • Ron Ron

[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

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Jersey Shore star Ronnie Magro has issued an apology for the homophobic rampage he went on during one of his many fights on the freshman MTV reality series.

The hothead gets in so many brawls, it's hard to even keep them straight. But after letting loose some gay slurs in one of the, Ronnie says he got carried away.

Ronnie and Sammi on Jersey Shore

Blaming the whole ordeal on "the heat of the moment," Ronnie says he's sorry for the disgusting rant in question, which was made public earlier this week.

Never-before-seen footage of his first Jersey Shore brawl leaked online, and made Ronnie look like an even bigger idiot than The Situation is a womanizer.

Before this, Ronnie Magro was one of the most likable Jersey Shore stars.

In the video, Ronnie can be heard calling a guy on the boardwalk a "f**king f**got" and a "f**king queer" right before he beats the hell out of him. What a class act.

Yesterday, Ronnie posted on Twitter: "I apologize to my fans, In the heat of the moment i said a lot of things i didnt mean and im very sorry... i love my creepy fans."

Maybe they'll still love him, but we've lost respect. Why those words are even in people's vocabulary in this day and age is beyond us. Wouldn't "a$$hole" suffice?

No word how Sammi Giancola reacted to Ronnie's apology, or if they are broken up or getting back together at this very minute. One can never be sure with them.

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So much for being a "guidette."

Jersey Shore star Jenni Farley, a.k.a. JWoww, admitted on Fox's Strategy Room Tuesday that she and co-star Nicole Polizzi, a.k.a. Snooki, aren't even Italian.

She may be the "Guidette Princess of F*%king Poughkeepsie" (one of our favorite Jersey Shore quotes), but Snooki is predominantly of ... Chilean descent.

So f'ing weak. Now we don't want to see Snooki nude anymore. THG NOTE: We never did, nor can we see what the appeal is there. Sorry, Emilio Masella.

J-Woww says she personally is Spanish and Irish. Spain and Ireland are rolling in their collective graves, while Italians everywhere are rejoicing at this.

Snooki is not really Italian. Nor is she tall.

In truth, the ancestry of these idiots (or anyone) doesn't matter. They're all Americans and we watch because they're lovably trashy. But why promote it so falsely?

The MTV hit show was slammed by Italian-Americans for perpetuating "negative stereotypes," hyping up its "guidos" and "guidettes" in previews and interviews.

"If you replace Italian-Americans with any other ethnic group, would they use such a pejorative term to promote the show?" the president of one group posited.

Basically they bash Italians and aren't even Italians themselves. Classy.

Such a disappointment. We feel so used. At least we know Heidi Montag's plastic surgery is real ... though by definition her boobs, face, etc., are fake. Irony.

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Ronnie Magro of Jersey Shore seems likable enough, as long as you don't run into him and start talking $h!t on a Jersey Shore boardwalk right after last call.

Dude unleashed a homophobic tirade during one of his many brawls last summer, spewing some absolutely revolting language during the violent altercation.

The footage, which has just now come to light, was shot minutes before Ronnie's first brawl on Jersey Shore. The meathead guido got arrested if you recall.

In the clip, Ronnie Magro and another bar patron can be seen talking trash to each other and then exchanging blows on the shore in front of their girlfriends.

But in the new never-before-seen footage (watch at TMZ), Ronnie can also be seen and heard calling his adversary a "f**king f**got" and a "f**king queer."

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro

Stay classy, intelligent and off the juice, Ronnie.

Nice, Ron. To think we actually liked you too. Sammi must be so proud of you after all these incidents. John Mayer and this moron should grab a beer sometime.

Much like when Snooki got cold-cocked in the grill by that neanderthal Brad Ferro, the footage of Ronnie's gay slur use never aired on MTV for obvious reasons.

Says a source from the production company: "There were several gay staff members working on the show. Ronnie always respected them and everyone else."

Sure he did. Again, how is that word even in your vocabulary?

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Brace yourself for massive amounts of GTL. Break out the hair gel and tight clothing. Double the police detail on Collins Ave. The Jersey Shore cast cometh.

Season 2 of Jersey Shore will film in South Beach, according to reports, rather than, say, New Jersey. Rumor is the gang will live in a house off Lincoln Road.

Tanning bed, duck phone and Italian flags included.

Filming is slated to start in May. Rumors that Jersey Shore might set up shop in Miami intensified after producers asked to film at the city's hot Mynt Lounge.

Presumably, permission was granted. Who wouldn't want Snooki, The Situation, DJ Pauly D, Vinny, Ronnie, Sammi, J-Woww and Angelina at their nightclub?

THG NOTE: Every other patron at said nightclub.

Jersey Shore Trio

PORTABLE GUIDOS: The Situation, Snooki & Co. are Miami-bound.

Reports have surfaced in recent weeks that the network was deciding between Miami and nine other warm cities. Looks as if the choice has now been made.

As the Miami Herald put it, "lucky us."

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No offense, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian, but taking your reality show to the Sunshine State accomplished little other than a brief run-in with a THG editor.

Well, that and Kourtney getting knocked up by Scott Disick.

In any case, there's a Category 3 fist pump warning in South Florida as of this morning, as MTV is scouting beaches in Miami for a perfect spot for Season 2.

The producers of Jersey Shore recently contacted Miami's Mynt Lounge, asking for clearance to shoot inside the club in March-April. Sprinnggg Breaaaaak!!!

Snooki, Vinny and Mike

Are Vinny, Snooki, The Situation and cohorts Miami-bound?

Reports suggest that 495 Productions is "currently researching Miami Beach as a possible location" for Season 2, which the full Jersey Shore cast is on board for.

However, they "won't be able to shoot the show on Miami Beach unless we're able to shoot in the hottest clubs." Nothing but class for Snooki, Pauly D & Co.

While Miami would be an obvious and worthy choice, Jersey Shore has not committed to one city yet and is still scouting nine other cities here and abroad.

The Situation should be bringing home a broad a night regardless of where he and his fellow guidos end up. Sorry, but you had to know that was coming.

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Now that they've all been re-signed for a second season, the cast of Jersey Shore will be fist-pumping its way to greener, fake-tanned pastures. Or something.

The only different aspect of the hit show for the new season is ... the location. That's right. The cast is officially back, but won't be back in Seaside Heights.

It's unclear whether this is because that town somehow barred them, or whether the network simply wants to bring the merry band of guidos back sooner.

Perhaps MTV can put a new season together faster without waiting for summer in the Garden State. Or they just want to inflict pain on other cities/countries.

Pauly Gets a Mouthful

NOTHIN' BUT CLASS: Coming to a lucky city or nation to be named later!

Whatever the reason, the network has scouted 10 cities in the U.S. for the location of the upcoming Season Two, and have also expanded their search abroad.

Get ready for more than your fill of Snooki nude, Earth.

Producers have contacted Pauly D, J-Woww and the gang to make sure everyone has a valid passport. Downright frightening for every other nation on Earth.

What city or country should MTV torture with The Situation quotes, Ronnie beating the crap out of strangers and many glimpses down J-Woww's yellow top?

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