Not from the simple, yet sage words of Lauren Conrad:
- "I think if a guy after a few months asked if I wanted to move in with him, I'd be like, Whoa." - to Heidi
- "A good roommate is like a good pair of jeans â€" you hold on to them no matter what." - to Heidi
- "If you do a really shady thing, be like, 'I was shady.'" - to Jen
- "You were evil and conniving. It wasn't all Brody; it was you." - to Jen
All these quotes and more stemmed from the drama on last night's episode of The Hills, which featured Lauren's coming of age - and not just because she celebrated her 21st birthday party at Hyde.
Finally, America's sweetheart is learning to stand up for herself, ladies and gentlemen.
The episode begins with Lauren and Heidi at the homestead. After a brief moment of tension during their discussion of Heidi possibly moving in with that douchebag Spencer Pratt, the estranged BFFs seemed cool again (thus the jeans comment).
And she's right. Who isn't happy to have Heidi Montag back on Team LC! Even better that Heidi was clearly getting along with Audrina Patridge as well, conspiring to plan Lauren's surprise party.
What wasn't all good was Heidi's relationship with Jen, who had the nerve to show up at Heidi's workplace to talk about her fight with Lauren!
Jen, apparently, is, like, best friends with Lauren. So she says. Which is why you hooked up with Brody Jenner behind LC's back, right? Bitch! Still, Jen laments: "I haven't talked to my best friend of 15 years for, like, what? For, like, sloppy thirds?"
Before telling her she had to get back to work, Heidi took the high road and said that she wasn't getting involved and this spat is between Jen and Lauren.
Later, Heidi throws Lauren off the party trail by faking like she was canceling on Lauren for Spencer for the 245th time. Wow, talk about a realistic lie! Lauren Conrad looked like she was about to cry, which was sad, but she was cool with it when everyone surprised her at Hyde.
It was weird, though, with Brody Jenner being back on the scene. And, OMG, going straight to asking about Jen. The guy may be hunky but he has some kind of nerve. It was nice, we think, that he apologized, even though Lauren insisted it wasn't his fault, when it, like, kind of was.
SIDE NOTE: Can you believe when Whitney Port told Lauren at work that she dated Brody once? Has this guy dated every cute girl in Southern California - and how does this not come up at Teen Vogue HQ until right now?
SIDE NOTE #2: What's funnier - the fact that Lauren Conrad is now 21, but has been going to these hot clubs for some time now, or the fact The Hills gals have become big enough stars that we knew about LC's 21st birthday party when it happened six weeks ago?
Anyway, back to reality. When Jen showed up at Lauren's place to apologize (and we use that term loosely), Lauren wasn't having any of it.
"You put yourself in this situation, she said before showing Jen the door.
If only she'd treat the guys in her life with the same determination. At least the legal system isn't as forgiving to Jason Wahler, right?