Heidi Fleiss
Gossip

Heidi Fleiss and some dude who may or may not have been planning on hitting that were arrested this afternoon in Pahrump, Nevada.

Yes, that is a real place.

Police there got a call warning them of a possible drunk driver. When Nye County Sheriff's deputies pulled the car over, they discovered it was being driven by none other than Heidi Fleiss, the famed "Hollywood Madam."

During the traffic stop, police found prescription narcotics for which Heidi Fleiss was unable to produce a valid prescription.

Fleiss' passenger, John Owen, was also arrested for allegedly possessing a controlled substance and for possession of marijuana.

A pair of (quasi) celebrity mug shots below for your enjoyment ...

Heidi Fleiss, who we have to say is lookin' pretty damn good these days, has been charged with driving without a license, possession of dangerous drugs without a prescription, being under the influence of a controlled substance and driving under the influence of a controlled substance. But that's all!

The renowned pimp is planning on opening so-called "Heidi Fleiss' Stud Farms" in Nye County, Nev., where brothels are legal. Heidi currently operates a laundromat called "Dirty Laundry" in Pahrump. Really. She does.

Heidi Fleiss has a lot of catching up to do.

The former Hollywood madam is scarcely the most famous woman in the area with that first name now, as Heidi Montag has seemingly come from nowhere to garner all the celebrity gossip attention.

But Fleiss cannot be held down... unless you pay enough money. The woman who knows more sex secrets than Jenna Jameson is back, running a business she knows something about: getting a load done.

TMZ reports that she opened her "Dirty Laundry" laundromat this past weekend in Nevada, just about one hour away from Las Vegas.

"The demographics of the community fit the statistics of a successful Laundromat. So why not try something I've never done before?" Fleiss said.

And she's right. Especially when, sexually, Heidi has done it ALL before. Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo have a long way to go until they reach Fleiss' status of sexual conquests.

But don't worry, folks, Heidi will soon be returning to the business she knows best, with plans to open a legal brothel within the next two months. But the customers will be ladies. Celebrity news reports have Lindsay Lohan as the first to sign up.

"I have had maybe over 300 women ready to buy memberships and plenty of men have applied ... and let me tell you ladies out there, they won't let you down!" But the madam cautions, "Without Viagra we couldn't do it!"

Well, okay then.

Finally, Heiss concludes that this venture is "uncharted waters for me because I'm used to the other way around." Funny. That's the same thing Kim Kardashian said when Ray J wanted her to face front during sex one time.