Heather Mills
Gossip (Page 5)

Thanks to Us Weekly for this fun compilation ...

"If I was a gold digger, I'd have a lot more money in my bank account."
-- Heather Mills, who is reportedly receiving at least $56 million in a divorce settlement, and who appears on Dancing With the Stars, beginning tonight

"I don't like cheeseballs who are manscaped to a tee -- I respond better to actors from earlier eras."
-- Rose McGowan on overly groomed men

"You're going back to Shawshank?"
-- Chris Rock mocking Howard Stern about his upcoming nuptials

"Well, I think [George W. Bush] is probably the worst president in the history of the United States. And I just don't understand how [the Democrats] could have lost that election."
-- Donald Trump

"I just aspire to be Regis Philbin. He just has that energy and wit I hope to have a quarter of at his age."
-- Howie Mandel

"For me, just as a mom, I love the other parents and the kids...I'm starting to work on the education here...there's a lot of work to be done."
-- Angelina Jolie on volunteer work in New Orleans

"The only club I get to go to now is the country club."
-- Mark Wahlberg on how being a dad has changed him

"In one scene Quentin got really into the character and bit me. I'm not going to sue him or anything. It was crazy cool."
-- Fergie on working with Quentin Tarantino on Grindhouse

"I like having curves. It's weird seeing girls who look like beanpoles. The more famous girls get, the smaller they get."
-- Mary Elizabeth Winstead

"The View is the big soap opera of television right now. You have drama. You have conflicts. You have feuds. You have people getting into trouble for opening their big mouths. Like me!"
-- Joy Behar

Whitney Houston wants Ray J to give her a call.

Conversely, British police have told Heather Mills to stop calling them. The estranged, awful ex-wife of Paul McCartney has reportedly been abusing the emergency phone number 999 over the last few months.

The new Dancing with the Stars contestant won't stop complaining of harassment by paparazzi. It's gotten to the point where Chief Superintendent Kevin Moore, of Brighton and Hove Police on the southern English coast where Mills spends much of her time, said there was a risk that officers may take her calls less seriously if she contacted them too often.

"We are having to spend a disproportionate amount of time on one particular person," he said. "We are duty-bound to respond, but clearly people who make lots of calls to the police run the risk of being treated as the little boy who cried wolf."

For Mills, though, not be taken seriously is about as common as pill popping is for Nicole Richie.

The spokeswoman did not say how many emergency calls Mills made to police, but said some had not warranted any action. Of course, those that get kicked by this one-legged gold digger may wish to call for help.

Heather's spokesman, Phil Hall, has a terrible job. He also said she had called police on several occasions about paparazzi photographers who followed her along the street "often on motorbikes and in a very dangerous fashion."

The Hollywood Gossip has this to say to Mills: if you want actual danger, spend a night with Anand Jon.

It's fitting that Heather Mills took this bicycle for a serious spin in Brighton, England, Tuesday. After all, she used to be a neighborhood bicycle herself, if you know what me mean.

We're saying the gold-digging ho was also once a high-priced, one-legged call girl. Or is. At least the latter. She still has one prosthetic leg.

In any case, Mills and estranged husband Paul McCartney have reportedly agreed to a settlement in their divorce case. The terms: Mills gets between $56-63M, various reports say, and joint custody of daughter Beatrice, 3, if she'll go the hell away.

Needless to say, she won't be giving back this hot 18-speed ...

 

That's a lot of money for someone so undeserving, but it's not too bad of a deal for Sir Paul, a billionaire who didn't think to make the gal sign a pre-nup.

Come on, Paul. We know you stand for peace, love, all of that. But that doesn't mean you should be so careless with your fortune. Britney Spears wouldn't be.

Okay, bad example. We mean, Tom Cruise wouldn't be!!!

Regardless, Mills has been prepping for her upcoming stint on ABC's Dancing With the Stars, which premieres March 19. The Gossip hopes you'll join it in hoping Mills' strap on (you know, for the fake leg) comes flying off during the season premiere.

Heather Mills says her prosthetic leg won't fall off during any routines on Dancing with the Stars.

This raises an obvious question: What the heck is she doing on the show if viewers won't get to enjoy the hilarity of a flying limb?

We understand that Dancing With the Stars doesn't exactly sign up A-list celebrities to shake their assets on the floor - but couldn't producers find someone who is at least known for more than a famous divorce case?

Addressing the question of whether her prosthetic leg might come off while she's competing, Mills - who was struck by a police motorcycle in 1993, which necessitated the amputation of her left leg below the knee â€" tells TV's Extra:

"I'm quite happy to be thrown around and hopefully my leg will stay on."

She added: "It's very unlikely my leg is going to fly off, although it would be quite funny. I'll have a strap on, which I wouldn't normally in every day life."

Yeah, right. We're guessing Paul McCartney ended his marriage with this nut partly because a strap on was a major part of her everyday life.

With a laugh, Mills also says of dancing partner Jonathan Roberts: "I don't want to let Jonathan down or give anyone in the audience a heart attack."

Don't worry, Heather. No viewer will be watching you anyway. We'll all be looking at Shandi Finnessey.

Dancing with the Stars is only as entertaining as its cast.

So let's get right to executive producer Conrad Greene and his take on the contestants vying for Mario Lopez-like glory when the show kicks off with a two-hour season premiere on March 19:

• Heather Mills: "We thought it would be interesting to have someone with a disability on because we wanted to prove that dancing is something anyone can do," Greene told People magazine. "She really wants to prove to people that a disability doesn't hamper you in any way."

* The Hollywood Gossip note: She's already proven handicapped people can be gold-digging bags of ho.

• Billy Ray Cyrus: The 45-year-old country singer, who stars with his daughter Miley Cyrus on the Disney Channel's hit show Hanna Montana, hopes he doesn't follow in the controversial footsteps of fellow crooner, Sara Evans.

He was "terrified" about joining Dancing. "He said, 'You don't understand. I can hardly do the achy-breaky dance, let alone a whole routine.' (But) I think he's going to really apply himself," says Greene.

• Leeza Gibbons: "I think for her turning 50, she wants to be opening new chapters â€" not closing them," Greene says of the 49-year-old former Entertainment Tonight and Extra anchorwoman, who now hosts her own syndicated radio show. "I think there will be a lot of women around the country who will really associate with her and what she's doing."

• Joey Fatone: The former boy bander is no stranger to fancy footwork from his singing days. But ballroom dancing is something new for Fatone. "He says he hasn't got a clue how good he's going to be," says Greene. "He's never done anything like this."

• Laila Ali: A personal trainer and daughter of boxing legend Muhammad Ali, Laila, 29, has also entered the ring herself. "The challenge for her will be being light enough on your feet," says Greene. "She's had to bulk up, get muscular in order to box. So it's going to be getting the grace."

• Vincent Pastore: No stranger to reality shows, the former Sopranos star appeared on VH1's Celebrity Fit Club with porn king Dustin Diamond last season. "He just turned 60 and he had a heart condition last year," says Greene. "If Vincent can do it, anybody can do it. This is a show about real people taking it on. He embodies it more than anyone on the show."

• Apolo Anton Ohno: At 24, the Olympic speed-skating champion is the youngest competitor to strap on his Dancing shoes. "It's great to get someone in the middle of their career," says Greene. "(And) it doesn't hurt that he's a great-looking guy."

• Paulina Porizkova: Already a fan of the show, the 41-year-old Czech-born supermodel - who graced the cover of Sports Illustrated long before Beyonce - "just wanted to get out there and dance," says Greene.

• Clyde Drexler: The basketball Hall of Famer follows in the footsteps of fellow Dancing athletes Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice. "He's a legend," says Greene of Drexler, 44. "Along with people like Emmitt and Jerry, he's one of those people who's the very best at their sport."

• Ian Ziering: "I got the sense with Ian he's really going to throw himself into it," says Greene about Ziering, 42, who's best known for playing Steve Sanders on the hit show Beverly Hills 90210. Too bad they couldn't sign a pregnant Tori Spelling to join the cast as well.

• Shandi Finnessey: The 28-year-old beauty queen (pictured), who was crowned Miss USA in 2004, brings "poise" and a "vivacious personality" to Dancing, says Greene.

We're guessing he hopes she doesn't bring any Tara Conner-related drama, however.

Heather Mills on Dancing with the Stars? That's just a rumor at the moment.

But Heather Mills as a one-legged act of violence against anyone that gets in her way? That's pretty much a fact.

Seen here, the former call girl and former wife of Paul McCartney is kicking a camera man. We don't know why. He may have been rude. But Heather has a history of such behavior.

While other British women, such as Kate Middleton, react calmly in the face of adversity, Mills makes Suge Knight look like a pacifist.

We didn't know this year's Dancing with the Stars would be the one-legged ex-prostitute version.

Such a deveolpment is possible now that Heather Mills has been rumored to join the new cast of ABC's hit reality competition.

The ex-wife of Paul McCartney is used to appearing before judges, of course; but we're curious how she'd fare before the court of Len Goodman, Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Tonioli.

A source close to the show tells People magazine that the former model might just show off her samba skills, following in the footsteps of Harry Hamlin and Mario Lopez, when the fourth edition premieres March 19.

"She has not signed yet," an insider tells the publication. "But talks are ongoing."

Mills's rep declined to comment. Dancing with the Stars alum Jerry Springer will announce the new cast on Feb. 21. It's already rumored to include Joey Fatone and Ian Ziering.

It's still unclear if Heather Mills has received the divorce settlement we previously reported on.

But this much is apparent: Her sister may be as crazy as she is.

Indeed, Fiona Mills has launched a scathing attack on Paul McCartney and his alleged refusal to provide personal protection to his estranged wife and their daughter.

Fiona - who puts the good name of the princess in Shrek to shame - released a statement in which she claims her 39-year-old sister and niece Beatrice, 3, have received death threats - but have not been cared for like other members of the McCartney clan.

"The main reason that I am responding is that I am deeply concerned for the safety of my sister and her daughter," Fiona Mills writes on www.heathermills.org.

We assume she is yet to open a MySpace account is all.

"They are receiving death threats, not because she is getting a divorce, but because some of the British tabloids decided from day one that they wish to destroy her. ... Heather and Beatrice no longer receive the protection that would be afforded to any other member of the McCartney family facing such threats."

Maybe that's because Heather sucks. Or maybe the accusations toward Sir Paul aren't even true.

All we know is this: McCartney and Fiona should settle their differences like Anna Nicole Smith and Larry Birkhead. We'll even give the Beatles legend our Instant Messenger password if it'll help.

Heather Mills can finally rest easy: she's a very rich, one-legged woman.

Sir Paul McCartney has reportedly agreed to a $63 million divorce settlement with his estranged wife, ending a bitter six month battle over the former Beatle's vast fortune that kept us amused and enraged.

Mills can now return to milking more money out of other innocent souls. Milos Pogacar, you're next.

The singing legend has allegedly agreed to hand over his $7.8 million home in St John's Wood, London to the former model, as well as his $11.8 million mansion in Beverly Hills.

It's unclear who keeps the Heather Mills sex photos.

The out-of-court settlement means McCartney will never have to publicly defend himself against Mills' claims of physical abuse while she was pregnant with their daughter Beatrice in 2003.

We just hope the Kara Janx wedding has a happier ending than this.

We don't know Milos Pogacar, but we're gonna offer the ski instructor this piece of advice: Run for it.

If there's any truth at all to the rumor that you're getting back together with your ex, Heather Mills, we suggest you turn and leave as quickly as you can. We doubt she'll catch up to you. The woman only has one leg.

All this talk got started because Milos was invited to Mills' birthday dinner last week.

Once there, the former couple was spotted kissing and hugging, sparking the possibility that the short romance these two enjoyed 15 years ago may begin again.

Interestlingly enough, Ben Amigoni - another rumored flame of Heather - was at the party, too.

Referring to Pogacar, though, a friend told the Sunday Mirror: "Heather's always had a special place in her heart for Milos. We're thrilled for her. There's every possibility this could be the start of something new."

This same source said "Heather needs someone who also likes fitness and healthy eating." Being rich and a former Beatle doesn't hurt, either.

Milos and Mills chatted over the meal and then went dancing with the rest of the group at nearby Amour nightclub. Once there, Pogacar had to fight with a drunk Matthew McConaughey over who would take Heather home.

Just kidding.