Heather Mills
Gossip (Page 4)

There wasn't very much gold on Dancing with the Stars.

As a result, we doubt Heather Mills cared very much when she was voted off the reality show last night. After all, what was she supposed to dig?

Of course, the one-legged wonder couldn't leave the spotlight quietly. After host Tom Bergeron and his sidekick Samantha Harris announced the results, the attention-seeing ex-wife of Paul McCartney actually pulled out a prepared exit speech.

In it, she thanked the academy (funny one, Heather!!!) and then set a new bar for condescending remarks by telling viewers that "once the dancers go out they're not paid." And promised her partner, Jonathon Roberts, that she would "try to get him some great work."

Just to remind the money-grubbing former call girl: a) these dancers rake in cash just to appear on Dancing with the Stars; we'd estimate at least 1ooK/each; b) Roberts is a well-respected, highly-trained professional dancer. The guy can make money on his own, thanks very much.

Look, Dancing Heather Mills, why don't you let Nude Heather Mills get back to what she does best: Bending over for money.

Heather Mills only has one leg.

But that doesn't stop her from having an abundance of opinions on various topics. And sometimes posting for naked photos.

For example, the woman with a losing attitude doesn't believe she should win Dancing with the Stars.

"I think that Apolo should win," Mills, referring to Apolo Anton Ohno, told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show Monday. "He has not got any dance experience â€" I mean, none of us have except Joey [Fatone] â€" and I think he is just amazing."

As for why she thinks the contest will pass her by, Mills, said: "Well, I was in the bottom two last week. You never go in the bottom two and then end up in the finals in the history of Dancing with the Stars."

That's the spirit, Heather! And you wonder why Paul McCartney prefers Sabrina Guinness.

"I am amazed that I got this far," said Mills. "I expected to go out way long ago. I am just thankful for all of the Americans who have actually voted for me. If I go out tonight I am totally expecting it, but [partner Jonathan Roberts and I] are going to put on a great performance."

For whatever reason, Seacrest also took the opportunity to ask Mills about the topic du jour: Alec Baldwin's fiery outburst toward his 11-year-old daughter Ireland Baldwin, which was captured on a voicemail.

"It is wrong to speak to your daughter like that, but I am not someone to go, 'Ooh, that is terrible, and we are all perfect, it's all wonderful,'" said Mills, who has a 2-year-old daughter, Beatrice, and is going through a divorce from the child's father, McCartney.

"I would never speak to my daughter like that, but what you have got to remember is that his daughter lives with Kim Basinger, and we have no idea what goes [on] behind closed doors. I respect Kim, I respect Alec for his incredible Animal Rights Campaign, and we have no idea what's going on."

All well said, Heather. We can't wait to see what you have to say about Jason Wahler next.

Joey McIntyre is a former New Kid on the Block. But he's known a lot better these days as one of the first season contestants on Dancing with the Stars.

Therefore, his opinion of current contestants does hold some weight. It's not like the guy is chiming in on the Larry Birkhead/Virgie Arthur custody battle.

With that in mind, here's what Joey Mac had to say about the chances of gold-digger Heather Mills in this year's show:

"At first I wasn't a big fan of her - I don't know her well - but it's obvious this was a good ploy for people to see another side of her. Paul McCartney's kind of untouchable and she kind of gave him the run around, so it doesn't seem like she has a lot of fans. Regardless, she's obviously game and going for it, so you've got to respect her for that."

We don't HAVE to respect her at all, Joey. As Stephen Colbert says, Mills and her fake leg are very much on notice.

Gold.

It can make a one-legged young girl turn to a life of prostitution, serving clientele such as Arab arms dealers as part of a high-end escort service.

It can also encourage a woman, later in life, to marry a billionaire music icon, only to divorce him and leave with up to $63,000,000 of his vast fortune.

Yes, Heather Mills rode her way into Paul McCartney's heart, then rode him at least once (they have a daughter), then rode off into the sunset with enough cash to buy a small country.

Paul may have moved on to Sabrina Guiness, but the damage has been wrought by Mills. The only question remaining: who's next on Heather the Harlot's agenda? 

Look at her staring at us, beckoning all the billionaires out there to see how that fake leg looks in the buff… and on the floor. Yes, a seductive, nude Heather Mills makes for an enticing package, and heck, it's bound to snare some sucker.

Fortunately, some rich gentlemen (such as Donald Trump and Kanye West) know better: keep your eye out for those out to dig some gold, and at the very least, if you're gonna go down that road, make them sign a prenup!

Heather Mills didn't think that denying her fondness for gold digging once was enough.

So she called up Ryan Seacrest on his morning radio show today and cried about it some more. Literally.

Tears of gratitude flowed from the one-legged Dancing with the Stars contestant when a former detractor actually praised her on air, suggested that Mills is due a collective apology after all the past criticism she has faced in her divorce from Sir Paul McCartney.

Heather Mills heard the sentiment of a listener named Pat, who said:

"I'm ashamed that I had a judgment against her based on everything that you read in the newspapers, that she was after his money, and, come on â€" everyone was down on Heather Mills.

"But," Pat continued, "she has won me over, and I can admit it, that I had formed a bad opinion about her. I am embarrassed, actually. I would love to apologize to her. And America should apologize. People should apologize to her. She was wrongfully treated."

Was she really, Pat? Women everywhere are wrongfully treated by the behavior of desperate, pathetic females on ABC's The Bachelor. Heather simply sucks.

But apparently Mills doesn't see it that way. When Asked by Seacrest how the message from Pat made her feel, the British twit replied, "Ah, that makes me feel emotional. Hooo. That's great."

From there, the tears came like Jay Grdina during a typical day at work - especially when Seacrest commented that people had judged Mills "strictly on hearsay."

"Yes," she replied, "it's just amazing ... I had a choice ... I could have gone down ... excuse me, you got me going now ... sorry ... I could have gone done that path of lowering myself to everyone else's level and proven my innocence."

But, she said, "All I did was fall in love with somebody madly, and give up my life for seven years, you know. And then just to be vilified for it? I'm actually quite shocked. I've spent 14 years doing charity work. If I was a gold digger, I would be a very wealthy woman now. And I'm not."

We'll just see what Kanye West has to say about that!

Thanks to TVSquad.com for the following report ...

Shandi Finnessey and Brian Fortuna (Jive) - Shandi and Brian's Jive was good, but forgettable after all of the performances were finished. Their performance was fun and spirited, and Shandi wisely showed as much skin as possible. She can't compete with the other contestants' technical skills, but she's doing her best to corner the market on hotness. The judges were impressed with her progress and gave the couple a 21 (7, 7, 7).

John Ratzenberger and Edyta Sliwinska (Tango) - John and Edyta did a convincing job of portraying the intense persona of the tango, and John's acting skills may save him from elimination. We thought that he looked pretty good out there, and he seemed to complete some decent, dramatic moves. It was hilarious when John dragged Edyta to their place in front of the judges' table. The couple's character-driven performance was rewarded with a 20 (7, 6, 7). A fair score, given the level of difficulty.

Clyde Drexler and Elena Grinenko (Jive) - We're starting to believe that it is impossible to keep Clyde Drexler from smiling. The man was grinning throughout his entire segment, even after receiving the lowest score of the night. Clyde and Elena's Jive was entertaining, and Clyde looked more comfortable on his feet this time around. He has a long way to go if he wants to stick around, but he is gradually improving. The couple received a brutal 16 (6, 5, 5) from the judges, which seemed a little harsh. He probably deserved the lowest score, but a 16?

Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Tango) - Laila and Maksim had trouble coordinating their busy schedules, so Maksim brought in his brother Valentin to help maximize their practice sessions. Is Chmerkovskiy Russian for gorgeous? Valentin was even cuter than Maksim - why isn't he on the show? Laila was no slouch either. She had a beautiful hairdo, and brought her usual sexiness to the Tango. The couple's Bond-themed dance was excellent, but fell a little short of the heat generated during last week's Mambo. The judges agreed, and gave the couple a score of 21 (7, 7, 7).

Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough (Jive) - Apolo and Julianne's Pulp Fiction homage was an absolute show-stopper. Their performance featured some challenging moves, and plenty of fast footwork. Apolo and Julianne always deliver crowd-pleasing performances. Perhaps it's their youthful energy. We would have placed this Jive among the top dances of the night, but the judges placed the pair in the middle of the pack with a 23 (7, 8, 8).

Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson (Tango) - Joey was worried about living up to the pressure of being one of the leading dancers, and he brought another fun, lively performance to the dance floor. Kym and Joey did a Star Wars-inspired Tango, complete with Princess Leia slave costume (on Kym, thankfully), lightsabers, and sound effects. The dance seemed more about showmanship than technical difficulty, but no matter. These two are consistently excellent, and are tons of fun to watch. Score: 24 (8, 8, 8), the first of many given out during the evening.

Ian Ziering and Cheryl Burke (Jive) - These two took a lot of criticism for a misstep that we barely noticed. Ian got over his anxiety about hip-swiveling and butt-clenching in time to perform a fast, exciting Jive. The judges held Ian and Cheryl Burke to a very high standard and claimed that Ian's misstep cost him a one-point deduction. The couple still got one of the night's highest scores, however: 24 (8, 8, 8).

Leeza Gibbons and Tony Dovolani (Tango) - Leeza was feeling a lot more confident about her dancing this week, which apparently had nothing to do with her partner. Is it just us, or was Tony a little mean to Leeza during the training sequence? Leeza was looser during her Tango, and brought some much-needed trampiness to her performance. She is still relatively slower and less flexible than her opponents, but the intensity of the Tango was definitely there. If Tony can reinforce his pupil's confidence, she may show even more improvement. Score: a surprising 24 (8, 8, 8).

Heather Mills and Jonathan Roberts (Jive) - Heather may not be a "real" celebrity, but she totally deserves to be in this dance competition. Her Jive had a great sock hop feel to it, and she wore yellow the right way this time. Carrie Ann noted that Heather doesn't have to include such difficult moves, and the fact that she does them anyway makes her a serious competitor. The couple earned a 24 (8, 8, 8).

Billy Ray Cyrus and Karina Smirnoff (Tango) - Billy Ray deserves credit for learning from his previous mistakes. He took someone's advice and pulled his hair back into a sleek ponytail, a look that suited his Tango. The song choice was confusing, however, and Billy Ray was obviously counting during the dance. The couple's performance did feature a few difficult moves, including a finale that had Billy Ray sliding under Karina's legs. Carrie Ann thought the dance "took balls," and Billy Ray kept his "Most Improved" title from last week. We don't think he's a front runner in terms of technical skill, but those hard-voting country fans might keep him around a while. Score: 21 (7, 7, 7).

ABC and FOX may be competitors, but they have something in common when it comes to their top-rated reality TV shows: outraged fans.

On American Idol, followers of actual music talent cannot believe that Sanjaya Malakar is still on the show. On Dancing with the Stars, meanwhile, followers of moral human beings are saying the same thing about Heather Mills.

"Heather Mills is as good a dancer as Sanjaya on American Idol is a singer," a viewer wrote at ABC.com.

"Actually," added the fan, "now that I think about it, Sanjaya is better as a singer than Mills is as a dancer, and that kid certainly is a better human being."

Mills, estranged wife of Paul McCartney, has been a lightning rod for controversy since the show started. A random sampling of messages at ABC's website indicates that show followers are growing tired of the constant references to her prosthetic leg.

"I practically had to have a drink last night to calm my anger - both Sanjaya and the despicable Heather on the same night at the same time.... Yuck!!!!!!!!!!"

At least Sir Paul has moved on with a new girlfriend, Sabrina Guinness. Viewers now hope these shows will move on from such undeserving contestants, as well.

Tuesday marked the first night that ABC aired a recap edition of Dancing with the Stars (DWTS) against the live American Idol results show. followed by a live results edition of DWTS.

To combat the scheduling, however, FOX ran American Idol seven minutes longer- and dominated the ratings.

Yesterday, some fans expressed surprise and anger over Paulina Porizkova getting the boot, suggesting that others, such as Billy Ray Cyrus and Shandi Finnessey, were weaker celebrity dancers.

Still, it was Mills who drew the majority of the ire from fans at ABC's site - as she has done since the show started.

"She is an awful person and cannot dance," wrote one. "The title of this show is called Dancing With the Stars and she is not a star nor is she a celebrity. The fact that she married a celebrity does not qualify."

The Hollywood Gossip couldn't have said it better ourselves. They might as well have invited Tameka Foster on the show.

Once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It's been a hell of a week. Who (and what) makes the latest edition of the "On Notice" board? Let's see...

It's impossible to argue with his selections. Divorce settlements are bad news all around (talking to you, Britney). And what's with everybody's fiancee getting knocked up before walking down the aisle? It's not just for Keri Russell and Amanda Peet anymore. Everybody's doing it this way. Was there some memo we didn't get?

As for the rest of the list...

• It's the hair. What else could possibly keep Sanjaya Malakar on American Idol? Watching the guy is raw pain. Yet he stays. Every week. As our ears bleed. Literally.
• We get it. Heather Mills has a prosthetic leg, yet is on a reality show about dancing! Amazing! Enough. Shouldn't science get the credit for making this possible, not the gold-digging former call girl?
• Mortgage lenders are paying the price for issuing many thousands of home loans to borrowers with bad credit. If your credit is so poor that you can't qualify for low mortgage rates, should you really be buying a house at all? Think about it.
• François-Henri Pinault, if you don't treat Salma Hayek right, we will end you.
• What is it with Laguna Beach graduates and getting arrested? First Jason Wahler (x3), now Jessica Smith. This town should hire one of its less troubled alums, Lauren Conrad, to conduct an anti-DUI seminar.
• Everyone's trying the pink hair thing. Scarlett Johansson. Kelis. Rachel McAdams. Joss Stone. In a word, it looks really friggin' lame. Get a life! Pink (the singer, not the color) is rolling in her grave.

Heather Mills is not a hero.

While the motorcycle accident that took one of her legs over a decade ago was tragic, this isn't a story of Lance Armstrong battling his way back from cancer to win the Tour de France over and over. That took courage and inhuman persistance.

Mills took a prosthetic limb.

If props must be given for the fact that this woman can compete on Dancing with the Stars, then direct them all to the advancements made in medicine over the years. After all, Heather has also proven she can ski and kick people with the leg. Dancing was a natural progression.

It followed nude photos and gold-digging.

We're more impressed by the fact that Kristin Cavallari can read than we are by Mills being able to dance the two-step.

Or that the penis of Randy Spelling hasn't fallen off after having inserted it inside the STD vacuum of Paris Hilton.

This isn't the typical story about Heather Mills going crazy and beating anyone up with her fake leg.

No random photographers in England have been kicked in the butt recently by the gold digger.

Instead, we're actually gonna give Mills some props. On Dancing with the Stars last night, she performed a rather impressive spin move, one many two-legged people probably could not pull off.

Along with partner Jonathon Roberts, Heather earned a respectable score of 24. We doubt Paul McCartney called to congratulate her - but maybe this gave the former call girl something to be proud of for once.

Still, we don't see her and Roberts outlasting Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson for the Dancing with the Stars crown. Those two are really good.