Heather Mills
Gossip

A couple months ago, Kate Gosselin claimed that "everybody wants" her hairstyle.

Turns out, she meant "everybody that's been through a public divorce and is as grating and attention-starved as I am."

Indeed, Heather Mills walked the streets of New York City today with a 'do eerily familiar to that worn by the awful reality star.

We can only assume Mills has her evil sights set on Jon Gosselin. Expect her to make like Hailey Glassman next (pass the bong!) and Kate Major after that.

Who looks better with this hairstyle?

Heather Mills is not going down without being paid a substantial amount of money for it a fight.

The former call girl/activist ex-wife of Paul McCartney is speaking out against the World Wide Web of lies she says has been spun against her by celebrity gossip sites. No way she could be talking about us, right?

Heather Mills - who may be reading this right now! - says she is surfing the Web in order to clear up stories about her. If so, we have three words for Mills: Bring. It. On.

"I stopped reading stories about myself a number of years ago. I just thought 'this is just a waste of time', but recently I've been going through the Internet, clearing up [rumors]," Mills said in a new interview.

That's how you ought to spend your time, Heather! Forget teaching your daughter how not to dig gold.

"I've got five apologies so far from [the] British media and I've got many thousands to go. I plan to clear the Internet so my daughter doesn't read all the lies when she's 12," Mills added.

Sorry, but you're not getting any apologies from us, Heather. We call it like we see it.

And, thanks to your hilarious, self-serving exploits, we see a one-legged nude photo that never fails to make us laugh.

Heather Mills needs a personality makeover.

Instead, the gold digging ex-wife of Paul McCartney is focusing on her hairstyle.

Here's a look at the money-hungry socialite's new 'do. Is it an improvement?

What do you think of Heather Mills' short haircut?

Forget Joe the Plumber.

Heather the Gold Digger thinks that spreading the wealth around is a fantastic idea. Paul McCartney's ex is hemmoraging cash!

According to The Sun, Heather Mills has already burned through $20 million of the $50 million divorce settlement she received from McCartney. In less than a year. Here's a look at a few of her recent expenses:

• She had a $2 million pool put into her England home;
• She bought a $5 million apartment in New York City;
• Spent around $12 million in renovating her other houses around the world;
• Paid her staff members around $500,000 each;
• Donated $1 million in vegetarian food to a group of kids in the Bronx.

"Heather's been moaning her money isn't going as far as she thought, but she's just burning her way through it," a source told the newspaper. "She reckons she has spent [$20 million] since the divorce and still doesn't have a finished house to live in. She hasn't changed. In her eyes the whole world is against her."

Doesn't Mills remember what her ex-husband sang about years ago? Money can't buy you love.

Ha! Ha! I'm a money-hungry former call girl!

Heather Mills is a coniving gold digger with one leg.

We doubt ex-husband Paul McCartney would disagree with that assessment, but the singer has a unique way of showing it.

The former Beatle has penned a new song, dedicated to Mills and containing lyrics such as:

I long to know all your secrets, I want to walk through your fire. Light up my eyes with your smile.

I was awakened by magic. I was alone in the world. Take me away form here.

We could climb every mountain, swim through every sea. When all the world is asleep we could set ourselves free.

The track will be released in October.

Paul McCartney has moved on from Heather Mills to Nancy Shevell.

“Paul has done a track about how he feels about Heather and what was going on with the paparazzi because no one has heard his side of it at all - so this will be the first time anyone hears a song relating to that subject," composer and performer Nitin Sawhney told The Daily Telegraph.

McCartney is more generous than we are. We'd have gone with lyrics such as:

"You made me scream and beg. How do you sleep, Peg Leg?

For years, celebrity gossip tabloids have been writing about the awful, selfish behavior of Heather Mills.

These reports have never been denied, as the Satantic nature of Paul McCartney's ex-wife are evident to all. Still, it's nice to see such claims backed up by someone whose job it had been to protect Mills' image.

Michele Elyzabeth worked as a publicist for Heather's charity campaigner’s publicist. She has quit after four years and issued the following statement to Extra detailing why:

After working for Heather Mills for the past four years, I have decided to cease representing her. Since her divorce has become final, in my opinion, Heather has become an impossible person.

Yesterday, we engaged in a heated argument during which she called me ’stupid.’ I reminded her that she was not ‘God’ and she answered, ‘I will never ever talk to you again’. I have been very patient in my dealings with Heather, however, I cannot take any more.

I have given her substantial unpaid time and attention. I am owed money. I refuse to be subjected to her outbursts. On reflection and given the way I have been treated, I now have sympathy with much of what the British Press has reported about her.

Game. Set. Match, Elyzabeth!

Jamie Walker has either lost a wager, or he's the most ignorant man on the planet.

The Tenerife hotel employee is the new boyfriend of gold digger Heather Mills.

According to News of the World, Mills fell for Walker after she saw him caring for daughter Beatrice at the hotel.

"I'm under strict instructions not to talk about this," Walker said, under advice from a lawyer that's already drawing up pre-nuptial papers, we presume.

Jamie Walker is dating Heather Mills. We have no clue why.

According to a friend of Mills, "Heather is completely infatuated with Jamie. He is a gym junkie and Heather has been boasting his body is so much fitter than Paul's... She likes the way he is with Beatrice."

Sounds like the best new daddy money can buy. Way to go, Heather!

Heather Mills appeared on British morning show GMTV today. During her interview, the one-legged digger of gold and all-around terrible person essentially called out Paul McCartney for being a player.

"I think he's got three different girlfriends," Mills said. "So I wish all the girls the best of luck."

Turns out Mills can't keep her mouth shut, ever think of anyone besides herself or count: McCartney has only been linked to two women, actress Rosanna Arquette (briefly) and American businesswoman Nancy Shevell (currently).

Ignoring her addition error, Mills sniffed: "Better them than me."

We couldn't agree more, Heather. Now go the hell away.

Before you yawn (and/or vomit) over yet another Heather Mills nude photo, consider the difference in this image when compared with the numerous other pics of Paul McCartney's terrible ex-wife in the buff.

The gold digger's stump of a leg is on full display below.

The disturbing picture, taken by top fashion photographer Tony McGee in 1999, was originally meant to promote Mills' anti-landmine charity. However, she didn't publish it at the time because she feared McCartney's view of her might change if it were released.

Years later, Heather obviously doesn't care what anyone's view of her is anymore, as she throws water on attorneys, demands obscene amounts of money and tries to cock block Nancy Shevell at will.

Check out Heather Mills naked after the jump.

Continue Reading...

Heather Mills and Britney Spears are two different kinds of crazy.

The former throws water on attorneys in court and incessantly whines about deserving more money than most third world countries simply because she used to be married to Paul McCartney.

The latter, meanwhile, cares more about celebrity gossip attention than her children, while being clueless to the concept of underwear.

But it appears as though Mills and Spears have something in common: an affection for wigging out!

While Heather's choice of fake hair isn't pink, the following ensemble - which Mills wore earlier this week - is certainly the type Britney has been known to rock in public:

Heather Mills wears a wig to avoid her fans. Just kidding. She does so to sneak up on Nancy Shevell.