Harry Morton News

Harry Morton slept with the STD farm known as Lindsay Lohan.

This should prove he doesn't have a very good head on his shoulders.

But in case you needed more proof of the full deck Morton isn't playing with, check this out: the former celebrity boyfriend has started a legal war with the person who, posing as Harry, posted naked pictures of his friends on a MySpace page. Just one hiccup:

Morton doesn't know who he's suing.

We haven't laughed this hard at a MySpace-related event since Melissa Joan Hart told off Chris Daughtry.

In a lawsuit filed Thursday in Los Angeles County Superior court, Morton is going after an unknown cyber-troublemaker he calls "Jane Doe." In the suit, Morton claims "Doe" posted nude photographs of one of his friends (no, not Sean Stewart nude) and a false statement that the friend had AIDS.

Morton alleges that the fake page was created to give the impression he had created it himself.

The owner of the famous Pink Taco restaurant chain says he suffered "emotional distress," was forced to "rehabilitate his reputation" and "lost business" due to the MySpace debacle. This all implies that Morton had a reputation beyond Firecrotch Queen Conquerer in the first place.

Our celebrity gossip sources were unable to contact Jane Doe, either. Because nobody knows who she is.

Gossip hounds love nothing more than when one of their favorite celebrities is dating someone new. Especially if that someone is relative unknown, an individual shrouded in mystery who we can't wait to learn about.

That said, The Hollywood Gossip has put together a list of some of its favorite obscure celebrity boyfriends who have come and gone in the past six months - along with some who are still hanging around. Because some of our subjects are, well, obscure, some of our details are sketchy at best. But we'll break it down for you as best we can.

1. Harry Morton

Celebrity Girlfriend: Lindsay Lohan
When They Got Together: Early July 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: Late September, 2006. Because Lohan is a train wreck.
Relationship Highlights: Harry Morton, heir to the Hard Rock fortune and president of the Pink Taco restaurant chain [insert crude Lohan joke here], was smitten with the actress last summer. But since he doesn't drink, and she does little else, it wasn't meant to be.

At least his family was reportedly going to buy the Arizona Cardinals' stadium and name it Firecrotch Field (okay, we made up the last part). After fading from the spotlight, there were rumors that Morton slept over at Paris Hilton's home on November 14, though we never heard more about it.

2. Braxton Olita

Celebrity Girlfriend: Ashlee Simpson
When They Got Together: 2005
When & Why They Broke Up: September 4, 2006
Relationship Highlights: Braxton, the guitarist in Ashlee's band (yes, she actually has a band) captured her heart for what seemed like an eternity in Hollywood. She even declared that she was saving herself for the Hawaiian. But alas, they broke up with little fanfare. It's just as well. Braxton was probably sick of listening to her not sing live. That's right, she doesn't sing.

3. Samuel Plouchart

Celebrity Girlfriend: Nicole Richie
When They Got Together: October 6, 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: There was never really any news about it, but no one ever heard from Samuel Plouchart again after October 11.
Relationship Highlights: Wondering if Plouchart, the fashion editor at the French magazine Citizen K, brags to pals that he got the sloppy thirds of Brody Jenner and DJ AM.

4. Max Snow

Celebrity Girlfriend: Mary-Kate Olsen
When They Got Together: Sometime between September 20, 2006 and October 18, 2006. On the latter date, the more famous one of the Olsen Twins was seen with Snow. But in mid-September, she was reportedly with Killers drummer Ronnie Vannucci.
When & Why They Broke Up: For some reason (probably money), the 21-year-old Snow appears to like dating Mary-Kate and is still together with her.
Relationship Highlights: The absurd outfits Mary-Kate and sister Ashley Olsen wear. And the way the tabloids try to describe Max Snow. Is he a rocker? No. Does he dress like one? Yes. Does he have friends that are rockers? Yes. Does anyone know what Max Snow does with his life besides hang out with Mary-Kate? No. Thus, he's a perfect addition to this list.

5. Nick Zano

Celebrity Girlfriend: Kristin Cavallari (present)
When They Got Together: Mid-November, 2006. On November 8, we ran a pic of Cavallari and Jason Wahler together. Not sure if they got it on, but she was reportedly single at that point. She and Nick Zano were first spotted in public together November 21.
When & Why They Broke Up: They rung in the new year together and are still dating and sucking face wherever they go. At first, this relationship seemed like a cheap ploy to make her ex, Brody Jenner jealous, but now it's looking like these two lovebirds are quite content with each other.
Relationship Highlights: For Nick Zano, that he gets to make out with Kristin Cavallari in public. For us, that we get to post Kristin Cavallari pictures online. Which may sound pathetic, but it's better than nothing.

6. J.R. Rotem

Celebrity Girlfriend: Britney Spears
When They Got Together: December 11, 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: December 12, 2006. He's a dirtbag.
Relationship Highlights: Andy Warhol, who once wrote that everyone has 15 minutes of fame, would be proud of this "music producer" for trying to exploit his after a one-night stand with Britney. Then he'd roll over in his grave as Rotem got negged at Hyde the next night.

7. David Katzenberg

Celebrity Girlfriend: Mary-Kate Olsen, Nicky Hilton (present)
When They Got Together: Early November, 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: Still going strong as of late December. Nicky Hilton keeps a lower profile than sister Paris, so it's harder to keep track of her.
Relationship Highlights: Other than the revelation that David Katzenberg also used to date Mary-Kate Olsen on the day he and Hilton were first seen together, not many. Seems like a nice young man.

8. Rupert Friend

Celebrity Girlfriend: Keira Knightley
When They Got Together: Fall 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: For the moment, at least, Keira appears to have a good friend. In Rupert Friend. Sorry, we just can't get enough of that one.
Relationship Highlights: There were rumors that the two were engaged about a month ago, but it turns out they were just bickering. Since then, Keira wasting away to nothing before our eyes, Rupert looking like a cross between Orlando Bloom, a psycho old dude and the infamous Nick Nolte mug shot.

9. Stavros Niarchos

Celebrity Girlfriend: Mary-Kate Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton (present)
When They Got Together: We're not even going to attempt to answer that
When & Why They Broke Up: Presumably because he cheated on one of the above celebrities with another of the above celebrities
Relationship Highlights: By now, the Greek God of Poontang isn't really obscure anymore. To quote Office Space, the guy gets around... like a record. But at some point, he was just some rich Greek shipping tycoon's kid. He hasn't done a thing to be famous except be wealthy and get his freak on with this triumvirate of pain. We salute Stavros Niarchos for that, sure - we just refuse to acknowledge that he's an actual celebrity. Then again, we feel the same way about Paris Hilton, whom he may or may not be getting engaged to soon.

10. Isaac Cohen

Celebrity Girlfriend: Britney Spears
When They Got Together: Early January, 2007
When & Why They Broke Up: Still together, as of this posting, but knowing Spears' track record (see #6 above), it could be off by the time you read this.
Relationship Highlights: A steamy boat ride and one public appearance are all we have to go on at this stage. Initially, people criticized Cohen for looking a bit too Kevin Federline-esque, but it looks as if he cleans up well. Moreover, a couple of our readers claim to know Isaac Cohen a little and say he is a decent guy who is not out for publicity. Here's hoping he can "spank the skank" out of our girl.

Then again, knowing Paris as we do, we doubt it was really a sleep over. Probably more of a sleep under ... sleep from behind-er ... sleep reverse cowgirl-er ...

The shocking turn of events took place on November 7. Reports from Life & Style Weekly say Harry Morton - the ex of Lindsay Lohan - spent the night at Hilton's place. And the firey, loose redhead was none too pleased about it.

Lohan confronted her nemesis the next night at the L.A. club, Teddy's, reports the magazine, which quotes a friend as saying that although the two are not currently dating, "Lindsay still loves Harry, and this is devastating her."

Of course, Paris Hilton is said to be smitten.

"Harry is Paris's type of guy," said a source. "He's handsome and rich!"

However, Lohan might be getting in a tizzy for nothing, according to a "pal" of Morton, who says he's not really into Paris. But that's not true, of course. Everyone who meets Paris gets into her.

At least Lindsay can rely on the tiny shoulders of new friend Ashlee Simpson for support.

... from that red-headed skank.

Okay, we may have added that part, but you know Harry Morton was thinking it, right? The expert on pink tacos recently talked with Extra about his break up with Lindsay Lohan.

"We're just sort of taking a little breather right now and slowing things down," the restaurateur said. "A lot of people started saying we're engaged. It put a lot of pressure on things. … We need a little space."

And Lohan needs a little sexin'. Anyone know where Bam Margera is?

Morton also said he'd had a hard time dealing with being in such a high-profile relationship.

"The media getting involved always makes it more difficult," he said. "I'm a very private person. I'm sure she has dealt with it for years, (but it) puts a lot of pressure on me."

In a moment of complete dishonesty honesty Harry said of Lohan: "I have nothing but the utmost respect for her."

As People magazine reported last week, Linsday was seen sobbing and talking on her cell phone after a Sept. 21 chat with Morton at West Hollywood's Chateau Marmont. Sources close to the pair said that Morton had dumped her, in spite of Lohan's efforts to cut down on partying.

Two nights later the pair was seen talking briefly at L.A.'s Hyde Lounge, though Morton left alone.

The next day, eyewitnesses saw Lohan and Stavros Niarchos (her former flame and ex-boyfriend of her rival, Paris Hilton) at the Dragonfly club, with, says one observer, "fingers interlocked … sharing kisses on the lips."

But other sources say she was just trying to make Morton jealous. The only question remaining in this fracas is: why the heck do we still care? Isn't there a Dustin Diamond sex tape we can watch?

It really is over: Harry Morton ended things with Lindsay Lohan late last week.

As the columnists and photographers from The Gossip deal with such a tragedy, we wanted to revist the summer of Harry and Lindsay. These celebrity photos truly do tell a thousand spoiled words ...

The annoying duo hung out at the Venice Film Festival. Shockingly, Lohan didn't win any awards there.

There had actually been rumors that Morton popped the big question. No, not whether or not Lindsay had eaten in six months; but if she'd actually marry him.

Ah, the good ol' days. We're not sure what turned to tide for Harry, but perhaps it was a Lindsay Lohan picture such as this. That girl is a mess. And her mom is nuts.

All of a sudden, that fight with Paris Hilton doesn't seem so important anymore.

Breaking news into The Gossip headquarters tells us that Lindsay Lohan is, once again, single. Harry Morton dumped her and her crotch of fire last night.

"Harry broke up with Lindsay yesterday at Chateau Marmont after they had dinner on the courtyard patio," a source said. "Nothing happened at dinner, but shortly afterward, he broke up with her."

But why, Harry? Was it the broken wrist? How lost Lohan became once her dominant, man-pleasing hand was made more useless than a plate of food in front of Kate Bosworth?

"She was too much drama," said the source. "Lindsay did cut down on the partying, but with her it's all relative. Harry is sober. It wasn't the partying that broke them up. She's young and a little bit immature. Harry's more low-key and not into the same stuff she's into."

THG NOTE: The constant sex with other men didn't help. Neither did Lohan's lack of a soul.

However, in a blatant lie record-breaking spinning of the truth, a Lindsay friend chimed in:

"No one 'dumped' anyone. You don't dump people when you're 20 and 25. You have a mature relationship and you take a break and you see what happens. Everyone does that."

Tell that to Shar Jackson! K-Fed kicked his baby's momma to the curb!

A rep for Morton, meanwhile, said, "I do not comment on his personal life."

Indeed, Lohan was spotted at Hollywood's Chateau Marmont on Thursday, running onto the patio where four of her friends were sitting â€" and weeping, a wad of tissues on one hand, her cell phone in the other.

"She ran in, sat with her group, put down her cell phone and cried to her pals," People magazine reported. "The group looked very concerned and listened intently to what she was saying."

At least her cell phone was spared, however. But what, dear readers, will happen to the famous firecrotch? Who will fan those flames now? We vote for Jason Wahler. He's single now.

But he wasn't involved in any sort of dumping, of course. People his age don't do that.

Does Harry Morton read The Hollywood Gossip?

It doesn't seem that way. If the Pink Taco mogul (the restaurant, people) were an avid fan, he'd have come across the Lindsay Lohan quote where she stated how she wants to be free to give her body to anyone, regardless of having a boyfriend or not.

Oh. And Lohan is Morton's girlfriend.

Perhaps Harry thinks he can tame the tramp, however, because sources claim he was spotted purchasing an engagement ring at Cartier in Beverly Hills.

It must be a challenging choosing such a gift for a nymphomaniac. We assume the ring has to be really loose.

A representative from Morton's company didn't deny the endeavor:

"I can confirm that Harry was shopping in Cartier. .. but what he purchased I cannot confirm. If it was in fact a gift then that's between him and whomever the gift is for and whomever the gift is for."

Hey, Harry, if the gift is for Lohan, know what else will be between you and her? About a hundred guys. Per week.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your Arizona Cardinals as they make their way into Firecrotch Stadium!

Such an annoucement may not be so far-fetched, now that the family of Lindsay Lohan's summer boy toy, billionaire Harry Morton, has put in a bid for the naming rights for the home of the NFL's Cardinals.

The Mortons have offered $5 million for the new stadium's naming rights, the largest amount ever presented in Arizona history. That's why Airhead Arena or Promiscuous Park aren't out of the question.

Morton is the President and CEO of the Pink Taco restaurant chain. His family recently sold its stake in Morton's Steakhouse, the Hard Rock Cafe, and the Hotel & Casino for approximately $1.2 billion. That's almost as many dollars as guys Lindsay has spread her legs for.

While we kid about such names as the Neighborhood Bicycle Bowl, the family is more likely to go with a traditional moniker, such as Pink Taco Stadium. So, in other words, it'll be based on Lohan no matter what.

In other football-related news, Morton is friends with Cardinals' quarterback Matt Leinart - who's been romantically linked to Lindsay's arch enemy Paris Hilton.

So there's another idea for the stadium's name: Catfight Coliseum. Leave us a comment now with your suggestions!

Harry Morton - the Hard Rock heir and Lindsay Lohan's latest boy toy - is pulling a Michael Jackson in this image.

As Morton holds his weightless girlfriend in the air, The Gossip is left to think of original jokes we could make regarding the fact that Morton owns the Pink Taco restaurant chain AND is dating loose Lindsay. None come to mind so far.

Eschewing food for the 1,467th day in a row, Lindsay Lohan takes a bite out of her man, Harry Morton, instead ...