by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Not even the Coors Light twins love their beer as much as the man in the following video.

His name is Jesse Stewart and he’s using a mandolin to come up with his own (surprisingly catchy) version of Donnie Dumphy’s “Cry Tunes.”

But this is not just any version of a song. It's one dedicated to the ice cold bottle of beer a friend of Stewart's is holding in front of the camera.

So, without further adieu, take it away, Jesse!

This is the best thing to happen to beer since those beer-flavored jelly beans.

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

So when we ranked fast food burgers, ranked fast food French fries and ranked fast food chicken nuggets, we didn't so much pay attention to the nutrition facts.

In fact, we didn't pay attention to that information at all. Well now we're paying attention and doubling up on gym memberships for good measure. 

While there are healthy options to be found on almost any menu if you look closely enough, there are also some really, really terrible choices hiding in plain sight.

They masquerade as subs and salads and you fall for them, hook, line, and dressing-laden sinker. You should probably stop doing that. Just saying.

Here are 11 fast food items that are killing you ...

Chicken Pot Pie from KFC
It might feel like homecooking in a bowl, but a chicken pot pie from KFC is a whopping 790 calories and 45 grams of fat.

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

We've ranked the best (and worst) chicken nuggets, French fries, and even fast food burgers in THG's continuing series on the food we love (or love to hate).

Now it's time to get down to business and talk about one of the perennially argued-about food-related topics probably in the history of arguing about food.

What toppings do you like on your pizza?

Are you a straight up pepperoni lover? Skip the meat and double the cheese? Do you pile on the veggies? As long as you just say no to anchovies, we're good.

Probably. But seriously, who likes those?!

While this is probably going to make you hungry, take a look at our picks for nine popular pizza toppings ranked from worst to best, then hit the comments!

Tiny, salty fish on your pizza? Barf. Just say no to anchovies.

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

It's sort of remarkable the things fetishists can make into legitimate porn. Shoes, food, coffee, fingernails, you name it. Seriously. Just name your turn-on.

There are some things in life you just can't unsee and after making your way through this post, you may well need a gallon or five of eye-bleach.

Luckily, you won't, because we've culled together a list of the 17 best types of porn, RANKED from worst to best. All for you. We're givers like that.

Move over, Farrah Abraham! Out of the way, Octomom! You two have nothing on the 17 best types of porn, as scientifically rated by THG below:

Hair Porn
If you get your hurrr did, you better post a picture of it ASAP. Even if it looks like a literal bird's nest.

Exhausting, we know. But just think: If only these celebrities who are amateur porn stars had just stuck to Instagramming pictures of their food instead ...

Continue Reading...

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Burgers. The ultimate travel food.

They're basically sandwiches on steroids ... and we're not talking about whatever's in the meat. More filling than a grilled cheese and more portable than a hoagie, burgers are just better. 

But not all burgers are created equal. Oh no. 

The secret to a great burger is in the location of the condiments and the #1 burger on this list gets it right, but you have to know how to order it that way.

From secret menus to secret sauces to tiny steamed buns, here are seven fast food burgers ranked from worst to best. Now go get some lunch!

The novelty at Wendy's is the square patty. Square patty on a round bun sense at all.

Want a side of fries with that? Or chicken nuggets?

We've got you covered on both fronts, don't worry:

by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Would you like fries with that?

Ask yourself how many times you've been asked that question and hesitated to answer because the truth is, the French fries wherever you are just don't cut the mustard.

Worry no more! We've got you covered. 

Oh yes, we're talking about fast food French fries, ranked from worst to best, and taking the guesswork out of that obligatory upsell of a question. 

Everything at Sonic tastes like styrofoam except for their Slush. Stay away from the fries and opt for the tots instead!

Thanks to us, the next time the cashier asks whether or not you want fries, you'll know when to say no. Or just go for the onion rings instead.

Ooooh, onion rings ... mmm.

Be sure to check out our ultimate fast food chicken nuggets rankings, then tell us below: Which chain has the best fries, in your humble opinion?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Fast food chicken nuggets? Please.

Those items are so yesterday's high-caloried food news.

The folks behind Chicken Charlie’s will introduce the Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger at the San Diego County Fair this summer, a monstrosity that includes TWO glazed donuts… TWO beef patties… TWO slices of cheese… and, let’s face it, ONE impending heart attack.

Krispy Kreme Double Cheeseburger

Chicken Charlie's will also introduce a Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe this year and is the same restaurant responsible for past creations such as Totally Fried Oreos and the Waffle Dog.

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by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

Need some ideas for a quick lunch to go so you can get back to the office and slave away in cube land? Might we suggest the chicken nugget?

A staple of fast food menus everywhere, the chicken nugget seems really hard to screw up. And yet? Some restaurants manage to do just that in quite a spectacular fashion.

Other restaurants, however, lure us in with their delicious and slightly pickle-y bite-sized bird bits and we can't get enough even if our conscience says we should keep on driving.

They just taste so good when they hit your lips! Here's an assortment of seven fast food chicken nuggets RANKED in order. Mmm, mmm, good.

Are these even real meat? No, no they aren't. They're pink slime. But dip them in the spicy mustard and you'll hardly notice!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Haven't you done enough, McDonald's?

Didn't you scar us badly enough with your Ronald McDonald makeover?

Apparently not, as the fast food chain is set to unveil a new mascot named Happy, saying via press release that the "animated Happy Meal character brings fun and excitement to kids' meals while also serving as an ambassador for balanced and wholesome eating."

Happy will officially be unveiled on May 23.

McDonald's Mascot

We’re on board with encouraging "kids to enjoy fruits, vegetables, low-fat dairy and wholesome beverages," as McDonald’s strives to accomplish.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Sorry, 3-year old dancing to Happy.

Our apologies, girl playing doctor to a bulldog.

But the following videos of a tiny hamster eating a tiny piece of pizza and a tiny burrito is the cutest thing in the history of the Internet.

Nibble by nibble, small swallow by small swallow, watch this little guy melt the Web into mush now:

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