by Free Britney at . Comments

We've all been in a crowded, public situation in which someone accidentally or mistakenly tries to take off with something that doesn't belong to them.

This is not that situation.

A Florida man busted two middle-aged women trying to break down, fold up and take away a tent canopy, beach chairs, boogie boards, and kids' toys on July 4.

So he confronted them, on video, and the results were both surprising and hilarious hilarious as the twosome tried to deny their shady ways, then just got pissed:

"Is that yours?" the man asks the two ladies, flummoxed by his beach tent.

"Yeah," one woman tells him, but shucks, "we don't know how to do it."

"Oh," Rich says, realizing what they dont. "You need some help?"

"Do you know how to do it?" both wannabe thieves ask him.

"Yeah," he says, dropping the bomb: "This is our stuff."

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Move over, Florida Man.

Florida Woman has some impressively unique news to make.

WPTV reports that a middle school teacher named Courtney Spruill has been suspended for 15 days because she brought vodka to a party in April for the girls soccer team.

The coach of that team (and a History/Physical Education teacher), Spruill reportedly pulled a Miley Cyrus at the shindig, Twerking up a storm and giving out some Twerking lessons.

She also received a lap dance from a student.

Spruill also drove a student home from the party, with witnesses saying the adult appeared to be drunk at the time.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Move over, Florida man.

And make room for the most amazingly-named Florida woman in state history.

Crystal Metheney (REAL NAME!) was arrested a few weeks ago, although not for living up to her unusual moniker and pulling a Walter White.

Instead, Crystal Metheney (REAL NAME!) was apparently booked for holding a missile and, according to the Polk County Police report, charged with “shooting into an occupied vehicle.”

Crystal Metheney Mug Shot

The 37-year-old was released after posting $5,000 bail and also has a previous arrest for marijuana possession.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

A Polk County, Fla., teacher is behind bars after she was accused of having sex with a 17-year-old boy in her pickup truck, according to local police.

Jennifer Fichter, 29, is an English teacher at Central Florida Aerospace Academy. The alleged victim is one of her students, an arrest report said.

A Lakeland, Fla., police statement confirmed that "according to the victim's [mom], admitted to the sexual encounters and professed her love for him."

"The victim's mother discovered this relationship after reviewing text messages from her son and she asked that Fichter respond to her residence to talk."

That conversation was made in a phone call Monday that was recorded by police. Fichter told the alleged victim's mother she had sex 20-30 times with him.

The teacher also said she had an abortion after getting pregnant with his child.

Fichter told the alleged victim's mother she wanted a relationship with her son and doesn't regret anything; she was arrested at her apartment 90 minutes later.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Josh Taylor, a TV news reporter for Sarasota, Fla., ABC affiliate WWSB, got more than he bargained for when he went to investigate a recent story.

While looking into a possible rental property scam in Venice, Fla., on Saturday, he got carjacked by Jean Price, a woman he was trying to interview!

His camera was rolling the whole time, too. Check it out below ...

Taylor was covering a dispute in which a woman claimed that a property was listed as an 11-bedroom home, but had only five due to building code violations.

Setting up his camera at the location in question, he was accosted on the street - despite it being a public road - by a woman later identified as Price.

The owner of the aforementioned property, local chiropractor Dr. Craig Siegal, said that Price used to work for him, but now simply "watches out for the home."

She watches out for it rather aggressively, it would appear.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Mary Jaggers, a 58-year-old Florida woman, was arrested after allegedly calling 911 to report that there was too much drinking going on at her local bar.

Best of all? This was not a one-off occurrence.

Jaggers called dispatchers six times, reports indicate, to alert them to the stunning presence of intoxicated individuals at Artie's Sportsman Lounge in Hollywood, Fla.

She wanted all the bar patrons arrested, too.

Officers eventually arrested Jaggers for misusing the 911 system. During their investigation, they found hydrocodone and charged her with drug possession.

Which may explain a lot, come to think of it.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Looking for crime and adventure these days? The McDonald's Drive-Thru is apparently the place to be,

In England, a horse was turned away by the fast food joint, only to then enter the actual restaurant and defecate on the floor.

Then, a Georgia resident called 911 after the a cashier screwed up his order.

Last Wednesday, meanwhile, at a location in Riverview, Florida, 45-year old Rebecca Simmons pulled a knife on a fellow patron after he complained that she tried to cut him in line.

Simmons stabbed the hood of the victim's car… and then stabbed the victim himself in the right buttocks! She was arrested on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage. Learn more in this report:

by Free Britney at . Comments

A Florida police sergeant has resigned after posting nearly 300 graphic photos of herself on the Internet as part of the virtual game Red Light Center.

Dane, P

Some of the lewd pictures featured her in uniform. She also admitted to sending the images to her lover using police computers and while on duty.

Sgt. Penny Dane of the Daytona Beach P.D. "admitted she accessed and sent sexually explicit pictures as part of an online game called Red Light Center."

"[The photos were] extremely pornographic in nature, and in several of the photos we have discovered, she was in her uniform," Police Chief Mike Chitwood said.

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