by Free Britney at . Comments

This Florida couple gives new meaning to the term breaking and entering.

Allison Riddle and Evan Jones, both 18-year-old high school students, are accused of forcing their way into in Bradenton, Fla., home for sexual purposes.

The hornball teenagers needed a place to fornicate, in other words.

Florida Teens Mug Shots

Their plan to get it in involved a calculated move to get in. Jones’ friend, who cuts the homeowner’s lawn, gave him the garage security code Saturday night.

The owner lives in Michigan (classic snowbird) and wasn't there, but a neighbor called the cops after spotting the two teens allegedly going into the house.

When local police showed up, the duo was doing each other on a bed.

"All right, we’re coming out!” Jones called from behind a closed door.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

A Florida mom's Facebook status didn't go over so well with her son's preschool. In fact, it got the kid straight up expelled from Sonshine Christian Academy.

Ashley Habat was upset that the school didn't give her enough notice about picture day. She ranted about this in a private post ... but still tagged the school.

In the post in question, Habat asked:

“Why is it that every single day there is something new I dislike about Will's School? Are my standards really too high or are people working in the education field really just that ignorant.”

The next day she was reportedly told by school administrators that the school wouldn't be a good fit for her son, according to Jacksonville's WJXT-TV.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

As re-enacted in a recent episode of “Untold Stories of the ER,” a Florida woman recently fed her daughter a bunch of tapeworms in order to help the teen lose weight for a beauty pageant.

Maricar Cabral-Osori, the child’s ER nurse, relayed the disgusting story to Discovery Health, telling the network that the unnamed teen “pooped all these tapeworms” out in the hospital after complaining of stomach cramps.

“There were a couple that were very long and wiggling around trying to get out of the toilet bowl,” Cabral-Osori added, ensuring we lose our appetite for the rest of the day.

Really Blowing It
Someone needs to swallow hard and tell this mother what she's doing wrong.

Cabral-Osori said the mother did at least turn pale and embarrassed when she saw what her daughter passed.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

A Florida woman attacked, then burglarized her 84-year-old grandmother earlier this week, all over $80 she wanted for a hotel room, local police say.

Brigitte Matzke, 25, and husband Alex Caldwell, 26, were both arrested shortly after the alleged attack too place, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reports.

Brigitte Matzke Mug Shots

Police received a 911 call reporting screaming and banging coming from the house. They found the victim, Aida Matzke, sitting on her stoop crying.

Investigators say that at about 9:40 p.m., Brigitte Matzke and Caldwell went to her grandmother's home and demanded $80 to spend the night at a hotel.

Matzke allegedly grabbed her grandma, ripped off her bra, twisted her wrists and stole jewelry after her she refused to give her the money, news reports say.

When Aida Matzke tried to call 911, her granddaughter ripped the landline phone out of the wall and threw it at her before fleeing with $1,900 in stolen items.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

A few weeks ago, Kendall Jones caused quite an Internet uproar when she posted photos to Facebook of her successful animal kills in Africa.

Mark Zuckerberg and company eventually deleted pictures of Kendall's prey and the Texas Tech cheerleader faced numerous death threats online for her actions.

But while Jones is now out of the news, a new blonde with a gun is making headlines of a similar kind.

Say hello to Bunny Hunter.

The 32-year old Florida resident writes on her website that she’s a proud resident of the “Gunshine State,” that she’s a “God-fearing, patriotic country girl” with four siblings in the military and that she aims to "restore this once proud land to that which was originally envisioned by our Founding Fathers."

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Take note, readers: if you are of legal drinking age, you are always free to order Sex on the Beach.

But never, no matter how randy you may be feeling, are you permitted to have sex on the beach.

Josey “Benny” Caballero and Elissa Alvarez recently found this out the hard way when they were caught having intercourse on Bradenton Beach for 25 minutes straight, with one elderly woman actually catching the carnal carnage on video.

After they finished, the couple took a dip... took a nap... and then took each other downtown once again! Until someone called the cops, that is.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

We've all been in a crowded, public situation in which someone accidentally or mistakenly tries to take off with something that doesn't belong to them.

This is not that situation.

A Florida man busted two middle-aged women trying to break down, fold up and take away a tent canopy, beach chairs, boogie boards, and kids' toys on July 4.

So he confronted them, on video, and the results were both surprising and hilarious hilarious as the twosome tried to deny their shady ways, then just got pissed:

"Is that yours?" the man asks the two ladies, flummoxed by his beach tent.

"Yeah," one woman tells him, but shucks, "we don't know how to do it."

"Oh," Rich says, realizing what they dont. "You need some help?"

"Do you know how to do it?" both wannabe thieves ask him.

"Yeah," he says, dropping the bomb: "This is our stuff."

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Move over, Florida Man.

Florida Woman has some impressively unique news to make.

WPTV reports that a middle school teacher named Courtney Spruill has been suspended for 15 days because she brought vodka to a party in April for the girls soccer team.

The coach of that team (and a History/Physical Education teacher), Spruill reportedly pulled a Miley Cyrus at the shindig, Twerking up a storm and giving out some Twerking lessons.

She also received a lap dance from a student.

Spruill also drove a student home from the party, with witnesses saying the adult appeared to be drunk at the time.

Continue Reading...

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Move over, Florida man.

And make room for the most amazingly-named Florida woman in state history.

Crystal Metheney (REAL NAME!) was arrested a few weeks ago, although not for living up to her unusual moniker and pulling a Walter White.

Instead, Crystal Metheney (REAL NAME!) was apparently booked for holding a missile and, according to the Polk County Police report, charged with “shooting into an occupied vehicle.”

Crystal Metheney Mug Shot

The 37-year-old was released after posting $5,000 bail and also has a previous arrest for marijuana possession.

Continue Reading...

by Free Britney at . Comments

A Polk County, Fla., teacher is behind bars after she was accused of having sex with a 17-year-old boy in her pickup truck, according to local police.

Jennifer Fichter, 29, is an English teacher at Central Florida Aerospace Academy. The alleged victim is one of her students, an arrest report said.

A Lakeland, Fla., police statement confirmed that "according to the victim's [mom], admitted to the sexual encounters and professed her love for him."

"The victim's mother discovered this relationship after reviewing text messages from her son and she asked that Fichter respond to her residence to talk."

That conversation was made in a phone call Monday that was recorded by police. Fichter told the alleged victim's mother she had sex 20-30 times with him.

The teacher also said she had an abortion after getting pregnant with his child.

Fichter told the alleged victim's mother she wanted a relationship with her son and doesn't regret anything; she was arrested at her apartment 90 minutes later.

Continue Reading...

x Close Ad