by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Listen up, THGers.

As various celebrities have proven over the years, it really doesn't matter what you name your baby. Go ahead and be as ridiculous as you want, no one cares much in the big picture.

But your fantasy football team? This is serious business. This is your chance to prove to your friends that you're witty and creative; that you're attuned to pop culture and/or current events.

Trust us: you do NOT want to eff this up.

So consider the following pun-based monikers, some of which are not exactly safe for work. But that's what makes them so fun! Oh, and one more thing: if you conquer your league with any of these names, THG is entitled to a cut of your winnings.

It's only fair, right?

Gronkey Punch
You must do the Rob Gronkowski toy soldier dance upon winning each week.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

With everyone's fantasy football draft just days away, THG is here to offer advice on practically every position on the field.

Which quarterback should you take after Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees? What about the best running back after Adrian Peterson? The top receiver after Calvin Johnson?

Now, it's time for the tight ends. We'd stay away from Aaron Hernandez and then we'd pick the following players in the order listed below:

Graham, Jimmy
  1. Jimmy Graham: The clear top choice. He's Brees' number-one option and he's in a contract year.
  2. Rob Gronkowski: He's either number-two... or he's not on the list. Recent back surgeries make it impossible to know his status, but will challenge Graham is healthy.
  3. Jason Witten: It doesn't get much less sexy... or much more consistent.
  4. Tony Gonzalez: Ditto, really. No way would he return for another season if he didn't feel like he could compete at a high level.
  5. Antonio Gates: Has fallen considerably from his status a couple years ago, but still among the elite. Pretty big drop-off after him.
  6. Vernon Davis: Had a couple big playoff games, but didn't really connect with Colin Kaepernick prior to them. The loss of Michael Crabtree could also mean more double teams.
  7. Kyle Rudolph: Someone has to catch the ball in Minnesota. Right?
  8. Brandon Pettigrew: Will be overshadowed by Calvin Johnson, of course, but where do you think Matthew Stafford will turn whenever Megatron draws too many defenders?
  9. Greg Olsen: A quality safety valve for Cam Newton.
  10. Owen Daniels: Finished at number-8 tight end in regular ESPN fantasy scoring last year despite nagging injuries.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Getting ready for your fantasy football draft? Don't make a move without consulting first with The Hollywood Gossip!

We've already rundown the top quarterbacks of 2013, along with the best running backs available.

So now it's time for a list of the most draft worthy wide receivers on the market. Scroll down for our exclusive Top 10...

Megatron Wallpaper
  1. Calvin Johnson: Breaking the all-time record for receiving yards in a season almost always guaranteed you number-one.
  2. Larry Fitzgerald: Carson Palmer is not a good quarterback. But he is a good fantasy quarterback. Look for a big season from Fitzgerald with a competent signal caller under center.
  3. Julio Jones: Probably the game's best deep threat and really just coming into his own as a pro.
  4. A.J. Green: Concerned that he only scored seven times last year? He was targeted 19 times in the end zone. Expect him to break double digits in 2013.
  5. Brandon Marshall: Three games over 140 yards, two over 160 last season. It's safe to say he gets along well with Jay Cutler.
  6. Demaryius Thomas: Don't worry about the addition of Wes Welker taking away targets from Thomas. He finished as the fifth wide receiver last year, even as teammate Eric Decker finished number-eight.
  7. Dez Bryant: If he stays healthy, he could sky-rocket into the upper echelon.
  8. Victor Cruz: He'll have some bad days when Eli Manning struggles, but he'll also break off the occasional 80-yard catch and run. Also great if your league hands out points for Salsa dancing.
  9. Randall Cobb: Breakout season alert! You've gotta have Aaron Rodgers' new number-one option, don't you?
  10. Andre Johnson: Arian Foster is still the center of Houston's offense, but Johnson still broke 100 yards six times last season. Including an absurd 273-yard performance.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In the first of our fantasy football draft guides, THG tackled the position of quarterback.

There's basically Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees... and then everyone else.

Running back, meanwhile, follows a similar pattern. A year after nearly breaking the all-time mark for yards in a season, Adrian Peterson is the most obvious top pick in some time. But filling out the rest of the Top 10 gets a bit tricky...

Running Backs
  1. Adrian Peterson: He will not reach his goal this year of 2,500 yards. But, barring injury, he may very well threaten the record once again, while crossing the end zone well over 10 times. The guy is Minnesota's entire offense.
  2. Ray Rice: More about consistency than anything else. You don't want to bungle a first round pick and Rice rarely get injured, while producing year in and year out.
  3. Arian Foster: More potential for a huge year than Rice, but injury prone. We'd be shocked if he played 16 games.
  4. Marshawn Lynch: The Beast! An injury to new wide receiver Percy Harvin simply means more carries per game for a back finally getting his due.
  5. Jamaal Charles: Does your league give extra points for touchdowns of 40 years or more? Then this is your man. Will break a long one every other game and is an able pass catcher as well.
  6. Stevan Ridley: This may be a bit high. But who is Tom Brady gonna throw to this season? Ridley scored at least 13 points (basic ESPN League scoring) in 9 of 16 games last season and that was before Wes Welker went to Denver and Aaron Hernandez probably killed someone.
  7. Doug Martin: Over 1,400 yards and 11 scores last year. He's young and only on his way up.
  8. LeSean McCoy: With Chip Kelly running the offense, look for the Eagles to average more plays than any team in the league. And that means A LOT of touches for McCoy.
  9. Trent Richardson: Probably the best candidate to have a breakout season. But can't put anyone on Cleveland in our top 5 until we see it.
  10. Alfred Morris: Possible sophomore slump alert, but with Washington likely to ease RGIII back into things, safe to assume they'll be running the ball often.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

It's the most important position on the field, but it's also the deepest.

So just how early should you take a quarterback in your fantasy football draft? It depends on which quarterback.

In our first of many positional breakdowns to help readers build the highest-scoring roster possible, we run through the various signal-caller options, dividing Aaron Rodgers and company into tiers...

Fantasy Football QBs

TOP TIER:

  1. Aaron Rogers.
  2. Drew Brees.

Both are guaranteed to pass for over 4,000 yards and 30 touchdowns. Rodgers gets the nod due to his scrambling ability (three rushing scores last year), but either would be a solid first round pick. The more sure players in fantasy football.

Continue Reading...

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