Evi Quaid

Everything is a conspiracy if you're Randy and Evi Quaid.

The insane pair, having already alleged that the Star Whackers are coming to do them in (just as they have Heath Ledger, David Carradine and others), now say that gossip website Radar Online is a front owned and operated by the police.

BRINGING THE CRAZY: No one does it like the Quaids.

"Radar Online is owned by the police," she told Esquire. "They called the Dairy Queen in Marfa, Texas, to spread rumors about us when we lived there."

The celebrity gossip site denies it is owned by the police.

In an length interview, the Quaids talk about why they are seeking asylum in Canada from charges in California and about the roving gang of hooligans who, they say, are killing and/or trying to ruin the lives of their celebrity friends.

Just when you think Randy and Evi Quaid can't get crazier ...

In what may end up being a very costly move, the fugitive couple once again didn't appear in court, this time for their felony vandalism arraignment Tuesday in Santa Barbara, Calif. Evi's bail amount of $500,000 was forfeited as a result.

A new bench warrant has been issued for Evi Quaid. Sigh ...

Randy and Evi Quaid insist they are not crazy.

Evi, whose probation had been revoked for her previous hotel bill fraud case, is expected to face jail time. If she ever sets foot back in the U.S., that is.

Both the Quaids accused of squatting in and causing damage to a Montecito, Calif., home they used to own. A realtor found them crashing there. Hilarious.

They are currently seeking refugee status in Canada.

A few days after they were set free in Canada, Randy and Evi Quaid sat down with Good Morning America today and gave an epic interview in which they stated:

• An estate planner is trying to kill them.
• Heath Ledger was possibly murdered.
• Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan could be next.

• Mel Gibson recorded a series of hate-spewing voicemails because he was drugged.
• Oksana Grigorieva was sent to do the actor in financially.
• Dennis Quaid makes really bad movies.

Randy and Evi Quaid, who were arrested in Canada last week after border security realized the pair was wanted in California for missing a court date, are free.

Why? Because she informed their immigration board that she is a Canadian citizen. Naturally! She was born in Vermont, but... this is Evi Quaid, so who knows.

Now free to roam the Great White North, the Quaids say they are seeking refuge status north of the border because they FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES IN THE U.S.

Evi Quaid may not know where she is right now, but she's happy.

Randy, who was born in Texas, still must meet with the Immigration and Refugee Board to determine whether he'll be allowed to lawfully stay in Canada.

In the meantime, he posted $1 million bond to keep them out of custody in Santa Barbara, Ca., pending their appearance at a November 2 hearing there.

The Quaids faces felony vandalism charges for allegedly squatting in - and doing significant damage to - a Montecito home they used to own. Obviously.

Actor Randy Quaid and his insane wife Evi are definitely living in their own world, but it's an entertaining one for us to catch a glimpse of from time to time.

Wanted by authorities in California, the fugitives were arrested Friday in Vancouver. They want to stay in Canada as refugees. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Randy and Evi Quaid say they are being persecuted south of the border.

REFUGEES: That's what the Quaids aspire to be now.

Evi Quaid pleaded for a Canadian immigration adjudicator not to return them to the U.S. She said her husband's friends, such as David Carradine and Heath Ledger, have died under suspicious circumstances and worries Randy will be next.

We are not making this up.

"We feel our lives are in danger," she said, complaining of high blood pressure and adding that Randy Quaid's mother is in hospital due to stress over all this.

Monday, California officials issued arrest warrants for Randy, 60, and Evi, 47, after they failed to appear in court for allegedly squatting in a home illegally.

Actor Randy Quaid and his bat$h!t insane wife Evi once again face arrest warrants after failing to show up for a Santa Barbara, Calif., court hearing yesterday.

The allegations against them? That they were crashing in a guest house of a Montecito home they once owned. Just staying there. Seriously, this happened.

A real estate agent found them out. Hilarious.

Randy and Evi Quaid: Not sane. Or unfunny.

Santa Barbara Senior Deputy D.A. Lee Carter says $50,000 warrants were issued after the duo failed to appear for arraignment on residential burglary charges.

As in their previous case, in which they were charged with defrauding an innkeeper and routinely missed court dates, the two are free to turn themselves in.

Otherwise, if they are seen by authorities between now and October 26, they'll be arrested on the spot. If they blow off that court date too ... it'll get ugly.

Randy and Evi Quaid have quite the explanation for their recent arrest, in which the eccentric pair was nabbed after being found crashing in their old house:

A dead guy owns it.

The Quaids claim they're the target of a diabolical scheme to steal the property that belongs to them and the mastermind is using a dead person to pull it off.

Basically, someone forged the signature of a dead woman named Ronda Quaid on a legal document way back in 1992 and wrongfully transferred ownership of their real estate to a third party. Or so Randy and Evi Quaid would have us believe.

The Quaids were arrested this past weekend for allegedly squatting on the property, located in Santa Barbara. But they say they have every right to be on the premises, insisting they can provide proof of the "dead person" scheme.

Randy Quaid and his insane wife Evi got arrested for burglary after crashing in their house. Their previous house, that is. It's owned by someone else now.

These are the same people who were arrested for skipping out on thousands in bills from a bed and breakfast, but believe it or not, this story's even better.

After an alarm went off Saturday, a realtor discovered the gate code changed, security cameras tampered with, and Randy's initials carved in the mailbox.

SQUAT: That's what the Quaids did ... and their aggregate brain cell count.

When the realtor entered the Montecito, Ca., home, he found the place trashed - dirty dishes, footprints, clothes not belonging to the owner in the closet, etc.

The best part? Randy and Evi Quaid allegedly broke a $7,000 mirror that had been hanging over the fireplace and replaced it with a photo of themselves.

They were charged with felony burglary and entering a noncommercial building without consent. Not surprisingly, Evi was also charged with resisting arrest.

A rep for the Quaids could not be located. Most likely because he or she is embarrassed to be repping the Quaids and has gone off the grid for a while.

Randy Quaid and wife Evi Quaid took a plea deal yesterday, ending a strange legal odyssey that was completely unnecessary and yet highly entertaining.

A judge tossed charges against the odd actor, while his wife pleaded no contest to a misdemeanor in their Santa Barbara, Calif., hotel bill-skipping case.

Under terms of the plea deal, both escaped additional jail time – they were already thrown in jail for missing court dates on several different occasions.

Evi Quaid must perform 240 hours of community service within a year.

CRAZY QUAIDS FREED: Innkeepers, put up the No Vacancy signs!

Outside court, Randy Quaid said the case taught him "you pay your bills when you leave, and I suppose that's something we can work on in the future."

Paying bills of $10,000? Not something most of us would forget to do.

Randy feels that he was treated a bit more harshly because of his celebrity status, although deliberately thumbing your nose at the law doesn't help.

The Quaids were accused of failing to pay a more than $10,000 hotel bill at an exclusive Santa Barbara resort and they had faced three felony counts.

Evi pleaded to the lesser misdemeanor of defrauding an innkeeper, maintaining that she thought they could pay the bills later by mail. Mmmkay.

We look forward to the couple's next bizarre legal altercation.

It had been too long since we'd heard from Randy Quaid and his insane wife Evi - though if they keep these antics up, we may never hear from them again.

The Quaids pressed their luck with a Santa Barbara, Calif., court, and when you fight the law, the law usually wins. Especially if you're wanted as fugitives.

The eccentric pair was thrown in the slammer Monday by Superior Court Judge Frank Ochoa for missing not one, but several hearings in their felony case.

"They came to court this morning hoping that Judge Ochoa would forgive them for not showing up a few weeks ago, but the judge decided they showed disrespect by prior failures to appear," Santa Barbara D.A. Arnie Tolks said.

Randy and Evi Quaid posted bail of $100,000 each and left after three hours.

The D.A. also said that Randy flashing his Golden Globe from the 1988 miniseries LBJ: The Early Years during his last court date did not go over well:

"They both apologized to the court, but the judge didn't take it lightly."

The pair originally were arrested in Marfa, Texas, in September after allegedly skipping out on a $10,000 bill at the exclusive San Ysidro Ranch in Santa Barbara.

Although they have since paid their outstanding bill, prosecutors say a crime was still committed ... and they've been pretty difficult to pin down in the process.

In fact, Randy and Evi Quaid were facing extradition for a time ... this over an unpaid bill. She has also been involved in numerous unrelated run-ins with cops.

Real normal.