Eminem
Gossip

From Britney and Kevin to the Tommy Lee-Kid Rock fight to that crazy lesbian Anne Heche, the spectacle of a public, bitter celebrity divorces sure is certainly one to behold. Here's The Hollywood Gossip's field guide to some of the major celebrities whose nuptials have unraveled before our eyes.

KEVIN FEDERLINE vs. BRITNEY SPEARS

He says: Not a lot. Because he has a good lawyer, and she says it all for him by parading around Hollywood clubs in no pants.
She says: He's "the biggest mistake she ever made" (and a stoner with no income).
Custody (of the kids): Currently 50-50, though FedEx is seeking a higher ratio of time with Sean and Jayden. Britney Spears' antics make that a distinct possibility.
Custody (of the fans): Kevin, we think. But only by attrition.

PAUL McCARTNEY vs. HEATHER MILLS

He says: She's got "personality issues," possibly code for "she used to be a high-priced call girl who serviced Arab arms dealers.
She says: The Beatles legend used to slap her around a little.
Custody (of the kids): Amicably shared, of daughter Beatrice.
Custody (of the fans): Paul by a wide margin across the Atlantic, but Mills won millions of fans stateside with her turn on Dancing with the Stars. A one-legged former hooker and "instructional sex tape" star, what's not to love?

COLEY LAFFOON vs. ANNE HECHE

He says: Anne Heche a frickin' nut!
She says: Coley Laffoon is a deadbeat who is addicted to porn, strippers and poker, as well as downloading sexual photos online.
Custody (of the kids): Bitterly contested, but split evenly, of son Homer.
Custody (of the fans): We gotta side with Laffoon, if only because he has no money and Heche had an affair with the equally-married James Tupper.

EMINEM vs. KIM MATHERS

He says: "I'd rather have a baby through my penis than get married again," Eminem said in 2002, after getting a divorce from Kim, who he was married to from 1999-2001. Note: He got married again. To Kim. In 2006. That's over too.
She says: His penis is small, doesn't work.
Custody (of the kids): Changes frequently.
Custody (of the fans): Eminem. Bitch crazy!

TOMMY LEE vs. KID ROCK

Lee (Pamela Anderson's husband for several years) says: Kid Rock is a wuss.
Kid (married to Pamela Anderson for three months in 2006) says: "Tommy Lee said some things that were extremely disrespectful to me."
Custody (of the kids): Tommy and Pam share custody of theirs 50-50. Thank goodness Kid Rock and Anderson did not procreate.
Custody (of the fans): Kid... but talk about a Rock and a head case!

ALEC BALDWIN vs. KIM BASINGER

He says: Kim is a manipulative liar who dedicates most of her live to making him miserable and not allowing him to see daughter Ireland.
She says: Alec and Saddam Hussein are pretty similar.
Custody (of the kids): Almost all Kim, especially after Alec infamously tore Ireland a new one on that gotta-hear-it-to-believe it voicemail.
Custody (of the fans): Alec Baldwin. Sure, he's got some personal issues. But watch this guy on 30 Rock and you just can't stay mad.

Now this is breaking news.

Rapper Eminem and his ex-wife, Kim Mathers, have agreed not to trash each other in public... for the sake of their daughter.

The couple came to the decision during a court hearing in their native Michigan after Eminem (a.k.a. Marshall Mathers) filed a motion Friday to slience Kim.

This came after she'd made numerous salacious comments about the rap star. Kim had told one TV interviewer that she'd been driven so far as to attempt suicide by Eminem.

Also recently, she told a radio station that he was unfaithful and uncaring during their time together, not to mention sexually "unathletic."

No word on whether this agreement includes the Internets, barring a potential Shanna Moakler-Travis Barker or Jenna Jameson-Jay Grdina MySpace feud.

The two got divorced late last year. It wasn't the first time.

After they split, Eminem probably gave the real slim shady to Mariah Carey, if you know what we mean. And if you know what we mean, let us know, will you? We're not sure.

In regards to his decision to stop talking about Kim and vice versa, Eminem didn't appear in court, but his lawyer said: "We're happy the court was able to bring this matter to a just and equitable resolution."

Hopefully, Britney and K-Fed continue getting along and find away to do the same... if only for the sake of Jayden James Federline.

Anna Nicole Smith is dead.

But how close was Kim Mathers to joining her in the great beyond?

The ex-wife (twice over) of Eminem says the abuse he caused her in life and in his lyrics pushed her to try and take her own life.

Mathers tells Dr. Keith Ablow in an episode of his talk show airing Friday that the final straw came when she saw Eminem (real name: Marshall Bruce Mathers III) onstage beating a blow-up doll that resembled her while singing a song about her.

"Seeing the crowd's response and everybody cheering, singing the words and laughing and it just felt like everyone was staring at me," she says. "I knew that it was about me and that night I went home and I tried to commit suicide."

Wow. And Eminem thought his problems with Mariah Carey were serious.

The rapper and the former Kim Scott were married twice, from 1999 to 2001 and again for less than three months last year. They have a daughter, Hailie Jade, 11, and also adopted Mathers's niece, Alaina, 13.

Mathers tells Ablow that she married Eminem the first time to keep him "faithful and grounded" when he went on tour â€" but it didn't work. The artist still was as cocky as Jayden James Federline is mysterious.

"When Marshall's first tour started is when his ego just went 'poof,' " she says. "Like he was God, that's what he thought. ... I was just told that I should be grateful that he still talks to me, you know how many women throw themselves at him. And I just pretty much felt like a piece of crap."

Mathers is still with us, however. It's hard to know how Eminem will react to this revelation - but at least he has 50 Cent to offer him heartfelt advice on the matter.

Stop us if you've heard this before: Eminem and Kim Mathers are getting divorced.

The couple, who has been married to each other twice - and therefore have a long way to go until they reach Pamela Anderson / Kid Rock status - reached an out-of-court settlement during a hearing at Macomb County Circuit Court on Tuesday.

The pair agreed to share custody of their daughter, Hailie Jade Scott, who turns 11 on Christmas Day. Perhaps that was what Eminem was confiding to 50 Cent about recently. Or maybe they were comparing glocks.

It's not clear if Kim was granted the financial support and attorney fees she'd been seeking from the rapper, whose real name is Marshall Bruce Mathers III. It's also not clear if Eminem actually did tang Mariah Carey for awhile, but we're gonna take his word for it.

It IS clear, though, that Mariah should shut up about Mary Carey. Leave her and her abnormally sized boobs alone!

Anyway, we may be digressing.

In the end, Eminem and Kim were married on Jan. 14 for the second time. Less than three months later, Eminem filed for divorce. Their first marriage lasted from 1999 to 2001.

Rap icons Curtis Jackson and Marshall Mathers (better known as 50 Cent and Eminem) put their heads together during a taping of BET's 106 & Park in New York on Monday. The close pals appeared on the program to promote Slim Shady's latest work Eminem Presents: The Re-Up, which features tracks from his own record label's newest protégés as well as some special vocal stylings by 50 Cent.

One can only wonder if they discussed 50's recent bashing of that "Oreo," Oprah Winfrey, or the recent spell of warm weather they've been getting in the city. Or what they think of the brewing feud between Snoop Dogg and Suge Knight. What kind of name is Suge, anyway? Guess it's better than Marion - but that's not saying a whole lot.

One thing we're fairly certain came up: The Game sucks. Seriously. He's not good.

 
Eminem is pissed.

No, not because we imposed his face on a woman's in a recent blog about Martha Stewart wanting the actor to appear on her show. We assume Slim Shady found that humorous.

But the 34-year-old rapper did launch into a tirade against Mariah Carey on his Sirius Satellite Radio show. He was aghast the singer denied a relationship with him in 2001.

"Yes, me and Mariah did have a relationship for about a good six, seven months. (But) it didn't work. I wasn't really into what she was into; our personalities collided. She's a diva, and I'm a little more regular, I guess."

Right. Eminem is about as regular as Kristin Cavallari is poor.

"I can never deny her talent, but the fact that she denied we ever had something, that's bad," the rapper continued.

We agree. It would be like David Katzenberg denying he's had a relationship with Mary-Kate Olsen and Nicky Hilton. We have the pictorial evidence to prove him wrong if he tried that lie.

Pop quiz, home making hot shot: You're feuding with Donald Trump and Rachael Ray ... you're a former convict ... and you have man-like hands.

What do you do to return to prominence?!?

You make a request for Eminem to appear on your television show, of course.

So goes the thinking of Martha Stewart; not because Slim Shady can knit or bake brownies - but because audience members love his music.

"We play his music during breaks to keep people very lively and they love him," Stewart told AP Radio in a recent interview.

"I would really love to have Eminem on the show," the 65-year-old lifestyle guru continued. "I don't think he knows that my demographic audience is so involved in Eminem music."

We don't think anyone did. What would 50 Cent say if his mentor appeared on a cooking program?

As for Stewart, she hopes Eminem can teach her a thing or two about music.

"I can't pick up a guitar and play a fantastic song. ... I cannot sit down at a piano and do that," she said. "I'm happy about my knowledge in so many different subjects relating to living, but in terms of specifics, I don't know if I'd be really very good on `The Young and the Restless.'"

We're not sure what that means, either. Is "Young and Restless" the excuse Jessica Simpson is using for cheating on Nick Lachey with Bam Margera?

Granted, this isn't a return of Jay Z-like proportions.

After all, Eminem never officially retired - and he's not claiming that his next album will be his last. That CD, by the way, will hit stores this winter and is entitledL "Eminem Presents: The Re-Up." It's a disc that will serve as an introduction to new artists from his Shady Records camp.

The Detroit rapper produced the majority of the tracks, with assistance from the Alchemist. He also raps on a handful of cuts.

Due December 5 via Eminem's Interscope-distributed Shady label, "The Re-Up" was intended as a purely street-level project with rough-hewn production, but quickly blossomed into something greater.

"Instead of putting it out there rough and unfinished, I thought we should add some other new tracks, make it a real album and put it in the record stores to give these new artists a real boost," Eminem said.

On "The Re-Up," the spotlight is on Atlanta up-and-comers Stat Quo and Bobby Creekwater as well as ex-Renegadez member Ca$his. The first single and video is "You Don't Know," which features Eminem, 50 Cent, Lloyd Banks and Ca$his.

Eminem quashed speculation that "The Re-Up" would serve as a tribute to his recently slain close friend, Proof, saying the upcoming project "is about these new artists and these new songs. It isn't fair to them or to the memory of Proof to mix them up."

Hey, wanna receive numerous nominations for the American Music Awards? Just don't release an album.

That strategy seems to have paid off for Mariah Carey, who's last CD hit stores a year and a half ago. Nevertheless, for the second consecutive year, Mimi leads the nominations at the Dick Clark-produced trophyfest.

Carey, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Black Eyed Peas and Nickelback each snagged a field-best three nods for this year's event.

Mariah is once again up for Favorite Female Artist in both the Pop/Rock and Soul/Rhythm & Blues categories, as well as a nod for Favorite Album in the latter category.

Fergie and her fellow Peas are up for Favorite Rap/Hip-Hop Album, along with Favorite Artist in both Rap/Hip-Hop and Soul/Rhythm & Blues.

Also racking up multiple nominations were virtually any artists who managed to score some airplay this year: Mary J. Blige, Kelly Clarkson, Eminem, Kanye West, Jamie Foxx, Rascal Flatts, T.I., Carrie Underwood and Pussycats Dolls all scored two nods apiece.

Underwood and the Pussycat Dolls will do battle with Chamillionaire in the redundantly named Favorite New Breakthrough Artist race.

Finally, someplace where Kevin Federline feels wanted. When, or if, Britney lets the Great White Joke out of the basement, he can head over the VH1.

Yes, Ken Mok, the executive producer of America's Top Model, will be bringing us Ego Trip Presents the White Rapper Show, a reality series that meant to gather a dozen Eminem wanna-bes under one roof in the South Bronx as they pursue their dreams of hip-hop fame.

The series will premiere in early 2007 and be hosted by white rap legend Michael "MC Serch" Berrin. Will Mok ask America's Top Model judge/old hag, Janice Dickinson, to be involved? If so, what will transpire between her and Britney's man/waste of human organs?

Tune in and find out!