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It's the fourth season finale of A&E's Duck Dynasty, which is as sad a fact as there is in the TV world. But at least the finale revolves around Halloween.

Or as Willie put it, the only holiday where it's socially acceptable to "eat candy and scare the crap out of little kids." Truer words have never been spoken.

To that end, the Robertsons turn the warehouse into the Duck Commander Scare House for the kids in the area, then dress up in costume to freak 'em out.

With the Scare House just about open for business, Jessica and Jep show up as Raggedy Ann and Andy, complete with a little dance they practiced.

"I have now found a new low for manhood," Jase says, having already proclaimed, "Grown men getting excited about dressing up, that's just weird."

Phil, while not a big fan of "pagan holidays," finds Halloween somewhat tolerable because cupcakes are involved, and carves pumpkins with the grandkids.

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Duck Dynasty stars Phil and Si Robertson believe gun control is not what America needs. Rather, it's sin control and self control that our nation lacks.

“It ain’t gun control we need, it’s sin control,” Si told Men’s Journal.

“Self-control,” corrected elder brother, Phil, the family patriarch.

Si and Phil Robertson

The brothers and Phil’s sons, Jase, Jep and Willie Robertson are hoping to use their newfound fame to spread the gospel of religion and political conservatism.

"We're trying to infuse a little good into a culture in which gentleness, patience, kindness, self-control, love, joy and peace have become abnormal," Phil said.

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Willie and Korie Robertson of Duck Dynasty, already the parents of five children, hinted at a recent event that they may not be done adding to their brood.

Make way for more Ducklings?

Willie and Korie Robertson

The Robertsons have an adopted son, Will, 11, and a foster daughter, Rebecca, 24, in addition to their three biological kids Sadie, John Luke, and Bella.

But they admitted there’s room for at least one more during an appearance at the Adoption Institute’s Angels in Adoption Gala in Washington D.C.

“Absolutely. There are plenty of kids who need homes,” Willie said when asked if he's considering another adoption. “That’s why we’re all here."

"We have adopted children and we have natural children," the CEO of Duck Commander said, "and to us, there’s no difference between them.”

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"They got everything in this thing. Fainting goats. Sneezing pandas. Double rainbows, all the way to both ends... Where's this thing been all my life?"

- Silas Robertson, on YouTube

Yes, on this week's Duck Dynasty, ol' Uncle Si apparently experiences YouTube for the first time, and his productivity drops to previously unseen levels.

If that's possible.

Si is so hooked on the 'Tube that he skips lunch with the Duck Commander gang and is still watching his "magic box" when they return an hour later.

All this after Willie shut down social media at work. You can't tell slackers what to, Will. If you push back, they'll find another way to slack, Jack!

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"As rednecks, we have the right to eat beef jerky." So speaketh Jason Robertson, and another episode of A&E's hilarious Duck Dynasty hath been born.

When Willie receives a package of Biltong, a South African form of beef jerky (because we all get that in the mail), he doesn't want to share it with the crew.  

A jerk about beef jerky, you could say.

This sets off the usual barrage of complaints in the duck call room, which prompts Si to set up an actual complaint box. There are just so darn many, jack!

Among them? There is no unlimited supply of coffee, or iced tea dispenser, or sofa for napping. Also, the toilet paper is like John Wayne ... it don't take crap off nobody!

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This week on Duck Dynasty, Si suffers the "menthol" and physical trauma of Willie backing into his truck, which he turns into another excuse not to work.

Willie did hit the truck, but barely. Yet Si alleges that damages total $3,500, then lowers that to a "family discount" of $1,000 ... which is still $1,000 too high.

It did not leave a mark on the heavy-duty bumper guard on Si's truck, let alone dent the thing, but nevertheless, Si's going to milk this for all it's worth.

Soon, Si rolls up to the Duck Commandeer warehouse on a scooter and claiming, "I got back damage," then "nerve damage." Willie is not buying it.

His use of the scooter in the warehouse causes more damage than anything Willie did, but that is sort of the point of the episode, and it's amusing.

"Just a lone man on his scooter, fighting the world's injustice," Si laments.

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The Duck Dynasty dynasty shows no signs of slowing down.

Having achieved record ratings through three-plus seasons on A&E, the Robertson family has branched out into many successful side ventures as well.

Duck Dynasty Cast

Books, perhaps most notably. Howard Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, announced three more tie-in works to the smash reality show in 2014.

Five books penned by the Robertson family already are out, including such top sellers as Happy, Happy, Happy and The Duck Commander Family.

Scheduled for next year are Faith in the Duck Blind, an ode to the family's strong Christian values, The Women of Duck Commander and Phil-Osophy.

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According to at least one school in Virginia, the bearded stars of Duck Dynasty aren't just a frightening sight for barbers across the country.

As recounted by a local NBC affiliate, a student in Dinwiddle, Virginia named Hunter Spain wore a shirt with the face of Si Robertson and was ordered to remove it or face punishment.

The teenager was told the attire was "threatening" to other kids at Dinwiddie High School.

"It says, 'I will hurt you physically and metaphysically,'" said Hunter's mother, Edna-Jo. "Anybody that ever watches Duck Dynasty knows that Si Robertson is famous for his little funny slogans."

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This week on Duck Dynasty, Willie's son John Luke got his wisdom teeth taken out and the aftermath felt like a viral video playing out before our eyes.

Going on a trip and not gracing us with his presence this week (beyond a parting pearl of wisdom that a man "can't have too many snacks"), Si was MIA.

Fortunately, John Luke stepped into the role of comic relief provider. Here's what happened after he woke up from surgery, still under heavy anesthesia:

He discussed his "eagle powers," suggested "hungry fella" to his mother, repeatedly sang "Bumble Bee tuna," and wondered, "Where's the Chapstik?"

He even told someone to bend over. It was pretty awkward/funny.

No doubt, this was inspired by the viral video of the spaced-out kid in the backseat of his dad's minivan on the way home from the dentist's office.

The viral was titled simply "David After Dentist," while this Duck Dynasty episode was called "John Luke After Dentist." Clearly the producers were fans.

John Luke also brought back visions of this guy from last week:

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This week on A&E's Duck Dynasty, the guys apparently didn't know what jackalope was, which seems a bit hard to believe from men of their caliber.

Nevertheless, it was the focal point of another hilarious half-hour.

The jackalope - a taxidermist's mounting of a jackrabbit with deer antlers attached to it - was given to big John Godwin by his uncle, who passed away.

He received it in the mail and couldn't identify it, so the Duck Commander gang had it appraised by a local taxidermist. Instead of working, obviously.

Si claimed to have once shot at an animal like that in swamp, but missed it because it was wet ... or bulletproof ... we've already forgotten the explanation.

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