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On Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 8, the Duck Commander gang built a playhouse for the kiddos. Jep's kiddos, to be specific. He's got four and they are adorable!

The issue was that with Jep nursing an injured wrist, he had to outsource this important project to Jase, Martin and Godwin, making the results at best unpredictable.

And entertaining, obviously, whenever Team Jase is involved.

In the end what he got was a fort/duck blind hybrid. Pretty cool, no? As patriarch Phil put it, it looks more like something you put prisoners in for solitary.

You be the judge regarding whether that makes it a success.

Jessica Robertson would fall into the "no" category. She was not what you'd call pleased with the jail-like structure, but perhaps she'll come around soon.

Hey, when you call upon free manual labor, you roll the dice.

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Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 7 featured Willie attempting, once again, to motivate his employees at the warehouse, and once again, that wasn't easy.

His latest tactic, installing an ice cream machine at work, made Jase and Si offended at being treated like kids, even though they are totally overgrown ones.

Godwin was pretty stoked, though ... which goes without saying.

Jase then comes up with a better idea in the form of an all-terrain Argo Amphibious ATV, a beast of a machine that can traverse both water and land.

Basically, it's a redneck's dream toy, and it was theirs for the taking.

Assembling their duck calls to earn points which they could then cash in to use the Argo, the competition was on in Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 7.

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Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 6, “G.I. Si," featured the gang staging an epic battle in the name of G.I. Joe, who played a key role in the installment.

Miss Kay tried to encourage her brood of boys to give their old toys to charity, an idea that was warmly received until Willie saw a G.I. Joe action figure.

Willie Robertson on Duck Dynasty

Willie urged Kay to reconsider, given its sentimental value, but quickly, this devolved into an argument over who the famous action figure really belonged to.

Jase claimed G.I. Joe was his, words were exchanged, and before you knew it (and yet you knew it was coming), Willie and Jase take it to the extreme.

A debate about who would make a better soldier - Uncle Si pointing out that he was the only actual soldier in the family - leads to a Duck Dynasty paintball war.

To the winner goes G.I. Joe himself.

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Last night on Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 5, Willie and Jase Robertson got into a beef - and later, an epic showdown - over who makes better burgers.

Jase concedes that Willie is unquestionably the better burger "eater," for obvious reasons, but that fact does not make him the "Burger Commander."

And so the burger-off begins, with the brothers heading to the store for ingredients and cracking jokes every step of the way. Who will prevail?

The local burger place, as it turned out.

When Godwin and Martin won't give your product the thumbs-up, you know you have issues, and that was the result for both of the Robertson brothers.

Willie's "Super Stack" burger, or "mountain o' beef," whichever you might call it, actually scared Godwin off. Yes, John Godwin was not impressed.

Jase didn't fare much better, overcooking his to the point where Martin declares both burgers inedible before the gang went back to the burger joint.

Leave it to the professionals, fellas.

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Phil scared the granddaughters with ghost stories while the Duck Commander guys pulled an all nighter to fill a big order on Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 4.

The former isn't surprising, as Phil Robertson has been known to raise eyebrows in his everyday speech. Imagine if he gets going and tries to tell spooky tales!

The latter isn't shocking either, except that it entails them working ... mostly. Willie's familiar refrain - “What are y’all doing? Why ain’t y’all working?” - is heard.

Duck Commander was open late this week to fill a major order, but like every week, shenanigans ensued on Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 4. Often.

The rousing game of cornhole in the warehouse was just the beginning. It was a stray smoke detector's wail that got into the guys' heads ... sort of literally.

Ridiculous as it would sound for any other show to make a mystery smoke detector a key storyline, if you watch Duck Dynasty online, you know it works.

Jase needs to put an end to it, no matter the cost.

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The world of reality television gave us a lot of poop talk this week, along with Si Robertson finally catching up to the 21st century, a former NBA star being cast on Survivor and a young mother choosing to terminate her fetus.

On DANCE MOMS, the crew took off for Virginia and did battle with their arch rival, as a fight broke out among the parents over rehearsal time and other issues these adults take way too seriously.

Such as? Watch Dance Moms online for the answer:

On TEEN MOM 2, things grew quite serious, as we caught up with the four main ladies, learned one of their children had been diagnosed with a series disorder and also watch Jenelle chose to have an abortion.

Watch Teen Mom online for a lot more:

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This week's Duck Dynasty was all about Si. Which they all are, really, as that guy is always in the mix and he never shuts up. But this one more than most.

After Si sees the fellas watching a cool video Jep filmed of a guy (himself?) riding a bike with a helmet cam, Si decides he should wear one of those things.

"No one wants to see the world through the eyes of Si Robertson," opines Jase, but clearly the producers who thought this up do, and the viewers too.

After all, how can you go wrong with exchanges like this, which comprised the bulk of Duck Dynasty Season 5 Episode 3 (and most DD installments):

  • "I gotta tell the folks back home what's goin' on." - Si
  • "You realize that's not hooked up to a satellite." - Jep

With Si, you never actually know what is real senility and what is crazy antics or somewhere in the middle. Which makes that narcoleptic redneck great.

Meanwhile, Willie got tickets to the LSU game for Sadie and John Luke, but he's a lot more excited than they are, especially after he gets lost en route.

Boss Hog's "short cut" to Baton Rouge didn't get them to the stadium in time. Or at all. But they did listen to the end of the game on the radio together.

Sometimes, those days make for the best stories. Follow the link to watch Duck Dynasty online to it unfold for yourself along with the best quotes from "Life of Si"!

Jase Robertson: No Beard!
Jase Robertson of Duck Dynasty with no beard. That was a long time ago. With Jase is his wife Missy.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Liam Payne got himself in a bit of trouble over Twitter yesterday.

With the cast of Duck Dynasty under scrutiny for Phil Robertson's scandalous remarks toward gays last month, the One Direction singer addressed Phil's son, Willie, and wrote:

"Huge love to you/your family huge respect for your business prosperities and the family values you still all behold. big fan."

It didn't take long for a war to then break out online between gay rights advocates and fans of Payne, who rushed to the artist's defense.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

They both introduced new characters, they were both heavily promoted... and they both tanked in the ratings.

American Idol and Duck Dynasty returned to the airwaves last night, but the returns weren't especially triumphant.

Idol, for example, garnered 15 million total viewers, but only a 4.5 rating among 18-49-year olds, which set a record low for the series. This, despite America falling in love with Harry Connick, Jr.

Duck Dynasty Season 5, meanwhile, introduced viewers to Rebecca Robertson.

But the opener was down 3.5 million total households from its Season 4 premiere a year ago. Among the aforementioned key demographic, ratings fell by 33 percent.

Could fans have been turned off by the Phil Robertson controversy? It's possible.

Watch Duck Dynasty online now if you failed to catch either of the return episodes last night.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Duck Dynasty kicked off Season 5 with back-to-back episodes last night... and nary a word about the Phil Robertson gay controversy.

Nope. It was business as usual for this family, which welcomed back a loved one and which held a few totally insane (read: awesome) conversations.

Viewers met Rebecca (and her five suitcases) early in the opener. Willie and Korie’s exchange-student-turned-daughter, she spent the last two years interning in the fashion industry way out in Los Angeles.

We were taken into her welcome home party, but couldn't focus on anything aside from Si watching Air Bud (because he was sick) and taking a stance more controversial than anything Phil said about homosexual or teen marriage:

Air Bud is superior to Jason Bourne.

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