Dr. Drew Pinsky

Kate Gosselin still doesn’t know if she is ready to move on.

It’s been nearly two years since she separated from her ex Jon Gosselin, and the mother of eight sat down with Dr. Drew Wednesday for a tearful, candid interview.

The usually stoic 36-year-old got choked up, confessing that the single life “so lonely” and saying it would take a very special man to take on eight kids now.

Even if one wanted to, she isn't sure she can handle that.

Kate Gosselin Cries on Dr. Drew

When asked “Do you have a love life?’ Kate replied: "No. I'm too busy."

"A lot of my friends who are being constructive say 'gosh, who are you going to meet that is going to be able to deal with eight kids?' My answer's always if they can deal with eight children in our situation it probably will be the person. It will sort of prove it."

Dr. Drew pushed Kate further, asking: "You're tough but don't you want somebody in your life?" To which she replied: "Absolutely! The odds are so against me."

Jenelle Evans, Leah Messer, Kailyn Lowry and Chelsea Houska reunited last night in part one of the MTV reality show's time-honored "checkup" with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

The reunion show rehashes where they are at "this moment" in their lives ... this moment being at LEAST nine months ago, or about five years in Teen Mom 2 land.

Leah was not engaged to Jeremy Calvert and getting jumped by female hooligans,  Jenelle was facing jail for the first time (how quaint) ... this is all ancient history.

Still, there was plenty of drama to be revealed ...

Jenelle Evans was, at least at the time this was taped, a few months after the Teen Mom 2 season finale, back together with bum boyfriend Kieffer Delp. Minus 20.

She also relapsed and failed a drug test. Minus 50.

Dr. Drew: "You're on probation, smoking pot, hanging out with a guy you filed domestic violence charges against. Tell me where you're better?!" PWNED. Plus 25.

On the bright side, Jenelle has a "set schedule," has been attending school and isn't arguing (as much) with her mom, Barbara. In relative terms, of course. Plus 5.

Barbara in the houuuuuse! Plus 10.

Babs agrees that she and her daughter are "a lot better" since Jenelle's stepfather "moved out with a Hooters waitress!" Plus 5 for her cackling as she says this.

Asked to sum up North Carolina's favorite hoodie-wearing hobo, Babs said simply of Kieffer Delp, "He's so no good." Eloquent, Babs. Eloquent. Plus 10.

Michael Lohan is weighing in for the first time on Kate Major's possible pregnancy in a new interview ... apparently these two nut jobs only communicate via Dr. Drew.

MiLo says he's heard about it, but not much more than we have.

"I've heard about it ... When she left her dads house, she left some medication and her pills there and she was off the pill for like 4-5 days and of course we had sex."

"So there was a chance ... from what I understand now, she says she's pregnant or she could be. Evidently she is taking the test so she thinks she might be."

Riveting insight right there.

Asked about how he would react if Kate Major were pregnant, given that neither of them believe in abortion as a possibility, Mike told Dr. Drew the following:

"I would never, never, never want to let a child grow up without a father and a mother, so if she was pregnant, it would be something that she has to consider."

"Does she want to raise a baby on her own? I don't think so."

Michael Lohan added that his relationship with his children with Dina Lohan would improve as they get older and would not be affected adversely by this.

He also said that he has not seen any Lindsay Lohan Playboy pictures, nor will he be checking those out for obvious reasons, but he supports the career move.

Kate Major has now strongly implied, in her sit-down with Dr. Drew, that Michael Lohan sexually assaulted her and that she may be pregnant with his kid.

While no one deserves to be subjected to the things he did to her, you have to wonder.

What are the motives of someone to turns around and instantly milks this for publicity?

Asked what her worst experience with MiLo was, she replied:

"I guess I have to be really honest here. He had been doing cocaine all night and he was kind of coming off of a binge. I woke up. I wasn’t involved in that."

"We were in the Hamptons ... I went through his phone and I saw that he was talking to a woman ... he was saying some very nasty things about me."

"I woke him and said what is this? He took a remote, threw it at my head, handcuffed me to a bed and forcefully had sex with me. I never reported that."

That's messed up if true. And it gets worse still ...

Nadya Suleman recently reached out to Dr. Drew because she felt she was at the end of her rope financially and mentally. Simply put, Octomom is an Octomess.

She has no money to feed her 14 kids. She is overwhelmed, in debt and battling to make ends meet. No one is exactly bending over backwards to help out.

Enter Dr. Drew, the first man on every struggling American's speed dial.

"I'm in a situation now where we are legally broke. Living check to check. Every single thing I do is just me surviving and trying to provide for my family," she said.

The jobless baby factory went on to lament that: "Right now I'm having a bit of issues with the faucet, so I'm kind of bathing them now in the kitchen sink."

THG NOTE: That's sad for the kids, yes, but who gets artificially inseminated with eight more kids when they're already raising six they can't afford? Absurd.

To help Nads and her children, Dr. Drew offered her schooling to get certified in personal training, a years worth of cleaning services and a year of child care.

Dr. Drew told her after their sit-down, "I've seen how you suffer, that's why we wanted to do this. We want to make this survivable. Your kids survival."

The taxpayers of La Habra, Calif., may want to send Double D a nice fruit basket.

In Wednesday's THG Caption Contest, we asked readers to come up with the best one for this photo of Doug Hutchison, Courtney Stodden and Dr. Drew.

You had plenty of material to make up funny captions here, and you delivered. Our winner is casper cat. Nice work! The winning now appears below.

Honorable mentions go out to my aura and morelike40. Thanks to all of you for playing as always, and best of luck in our next Caption Contest!

"I remember the day my wife was born like it was yesterday ..."

Welcome, gossip fans, to another edition of THG's Caption Contest!

What did teen bride Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison have to say about her infamous pumpkin patch skank-fest in a sitdown with Dr. Drew?

Well, you tell us! Send in your captions for the image seen here!

All you have to do to play is click "Comments" below and submit your best caption(s). Go to it! We will announce a winner Thursday. Best of luck, all ...

Teen Mom's third season is officially in the books after Part 2 of MTV's reunion special. So how did their "checkup" with Dr. Drew go? What did we learn Tuesday night?

Picking up where last week's special left off, with Amber Portwood walking off the set after mourning her sister's crib death years ago, Dr. Drew aired a SIDS PSA.

Too little too late to help the downward spiral that is Amber, but still, class move.

Dr. Drew spent much of last week calling out Farrah for her behavior this season. This time, we spent the majority of the time catching up with Catelynn and Maci.

Catelynn and Tyler revealed that his dad, Butch, wasn't sent back to prison because of a drug test, but for violating a no-contact order and meeting with wife April.

When Catelynn's mom came on stage, Dr. Drew asked, simply, "What the hell?"

Pinsky is kind of the man after that, we'll give him credit. As is Tyler. Why?

After a tumultuous season of Teen Mom, the fab four headed to L.A. for their obligatory MTV reunion special slash therapy session with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

He did not mince words.

Farrah Abraham in particular got an earful from Drew after crying about her cruel fate, missing out on her teenage years because she had a baby, etc.

I love you so much!!!! Okay, later!

While Farrah ditched Sophia with her parents to go "found herself" in Florida, she used this opportunity to tell everyone she'd changed her mind! Maybe!

Farrah doesn't know if it's in Sophia's best interest to be cared for by her personally or her grandparents in Iowa. She's also, like, so lonely in Florida!

Dr. Drew finally had to shut down the pity party, which has been building all summer and apparently didn't end with last week's Teen Mom season finale.

Telling Farrah to "add it up," the doc said, first off, to stop sniveling: "You have to let go of the fantasies of childhood," he said. "It's time to let go."

Looks like this season could be the last for Celebrity Rehab.

The sixth season of the VH1 show is currently airing, with the likes of Michael Lohan, Amy Fisher, and Bai Ling seeking help from the best.

But the doctor who makes it all happen is pulling the plug.

A source says: "The decision was made to put the show on hiatus because Dr. Drew Pinsky is just too busy to continue to do the show."

"Dr. Drew can be seen nightly on HLN's Dr. Drew Show, and this fall, has another project he is going to be involved with, Life Changers."

"In addition to being emotionally grueling, the amount of time Dr. Drew has to commit to treating celebrities is a tremendous amount."

Drew would "absolutely love to revisit doing the show again in the future when he has the time. Dr. Drew really enjoyed doing the show."

Very sad. We just hope Rachel Uchitel can find someone else to treat her "love addiction" now. That's got to be such a brutal affliction.