Dirty Soap

On the season finale of Dirty Soap, Fary tried to set Nadia Bjorlin up with a guy, JP and Farah hit a turning point in their relationship, and everyone went camping.

Kelly Monaco, meanwhile, prepares for life after General Hospital - funny that this is a new reality show about a declining genre - by better building up her brand.

Whatever that means. She's trying to branch out, let's just leave it at that.

Also, Kirsten Storms (pictured) is still MIA, but not forgotten. Get well girl.

Tension between John-Paul Lavoisier and Farah Fath begins early when he says, at a group dinner, that he will never wear a wedding ring. Passive-aggressive much?

Farah gets upset, and asks if he’s scared to move out to L.A. with her. He says she is the only reason he would move there, but still seems willing to take the plunge.

Brandon Beemer plans a fun, totally non-scripted-by-E! camping trip for the gang to attend. Everyone, sans Kirsten of course, sets up camp near the beach to chill.

There, Farah’s friend Danny asks Nadia about her mom and Brandon, and if her mother Fary is one of the reasons why she and Brandon aren't already married.

She says yes, basically, and he tells her to live life for her, no one else. Farah talks with Jenna about being career oriented and managing work and family life.

Kelly Monaco interjects, saying she would love to be a mother one day.

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This week on Dirty Soap, tension lingered between John-Paul Lavoisier and Farah Fath, while Nadia Bjorlin and Brandon Beemer finally confronted her mother.

Kelly Monaco? She made a General Hospital fan's life.

Kirsten Storms? She's still MIA. Get well girl.

We begin with Farah and JP. She is basically doing the overbearing thing, in his mind, trying to get him to change up his wardrobe and the like (although let's be honest, he could use a little help), and he's being pushed to the edge.

When you tell the camera your girl "sucks the life force out of you," that's generally not a good sign for a relationship. Clearly she has a strong and difficult personality.

Brandon suggests he pick his battles, but he's got a different situation on his hands where he might want to try that. Of course, it's hard to tell off your girl's mother.

Luckily, Farah gets the hint and promises she'll try to back off JP a bit.

Nadia's mom Fary, however? That resolution is less likely to happen.

Brandon’s parents are coming for a visit, and Fary doesn't respect them ... he’s garbage and came from garbage. Brutal stuff right there, but she's a brutal individual.

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This week on Dirty Soap, Farah Fath underwent surgery, while Kirsten Storms and her own health woes were still MIA. These soap stars have had some bad luck.

We wish the gals nothing but the best as they battle their respective ailments. Meanwhile, gorgeous Kelly Monaco decides to do a photo shoot for Self magazine.

There was plenty of other soap action to digest, from Galen trying to sponge off of his kids a little too hard and Fary dragging everyone around her down ....

Sometimes, the world works in ways you never expect.

Farah found that out when she went to donate her eggs so that BFF Danny can have a baby. Only because of that did doctors find pre-cancerous cells on her cervix.

John-Paul Lavoisier says her he will be there for her during surgery, but Farah already feels JP was lacking in terms of support, dropping her off and peacing out.

He claims that parking was difficult. Weakass excuse. Danny is there for her, however, and realizes Farah's healing is more important than her eggs. Nice guy.

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The driving force behind much of the first four episodes, Kirsten Storms and her health woes were mostly absent from last night's installment of Dirty Soap on E!

We wish her nothing but the best.

There was plenty of other soap action to digest, though, from a nearly disastrous National Anthem outing to valuable perspectives in one star's hometown ...

The woman seen above is Kelly Monaco. Despite a successful acting and modeling career, and looking like this, the 35-year-old has some major insecurity issues.

At her parents' house in Pennsylvania, Kelly’s mom tells her she’s too skinny ... a charge she denies until she realizes she weighs just 92 pounds. That's not a lot.

Rather than resenting her mom, Kelly is grateful that she was honest and helped her see the light. Then they talk dating. Kelly just needs to put herself out there!

There is talk about her starring as The Bachelorette, and while we could almost see ABC pulling that kind of stunt, Kelly does not seem enthused about the idea.

She's also less than enthralled about Mike stopping by to visit.

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In its first three weeks of E!'s Dirty Soap have had it all.

The new reality show has featured everything from professional conflict to relationship problems, old feuds between friends and even overbearing mama drama.

This week was all about baby making. Sort of.

Jenna and Galen have a different take on the idea of more kids, which is understandable. Life will never be the same if they have more. But will it be worth it?

Galen doesn't seem as enthused. Jenna's take is simple: She does all the caring for the kids anyway, so it should be her decision, and she would really like a baby girl.

Jenna says there's such a thing as gender selection, which is totally bogus, and probably something E! had her say just so they could stage this visit to the fertility doc.

The doctor explains that IVF is an option, but one that often results in multiple births. Galen appears equal parts unenthralled with having twins or his sperm tested.

Fortunately for the Gerings, they find common ground on the subject - to table it, for now. There's no rush, and maybe down the road it'll make sense for their lives.

But for now, the status quo is not so bad.

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Last week's Dirty Soap was heavy on overbearing mama drama.

This week, relationships between cast members were the focus.

Where do we even begin recapping the goings on with E!'s new crop of reality stars ... who are sort of actual stars, if you watch the soap operas they star in at least.

Let's kick off this week's recap with Brandon Beemer (how do you become anything but a soap star when given a name like that) giving Nadia Bjorlin a birthday gift.

 She got an iPad. She was unmoved, yearning for something personal. Kind of ungrateful, given that those things cost like $500 without 3G. But whatever, moving on.

At lunch Farah Fath wonders why Nadia and Brandon aren’t engaged, to which she responds that she is in no rush because it's not like marriage is any kind of guarantee.

Cynical, but not altogether untrue.

Then, wouldn't you know it, without ANY prompting from producers whatsoever, the conversation pivots to Days of Our Lives co-stars and the infamous Kirsten Storms.

Farah and Kirsten have not spoken since she made out with John-Paul Lavoisier a while back on some sort of crossover thing. We forget. But apparently it was bad!!

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One can't help but wonder why, in an age where the soap opera is clearly a declining genre (witness the cancellation of All My Children last month), E! has come out with new reality show offering a provocative glimpse into young soap stars' lives.

On the flip side, it's a nice respite from Kardashian shows. Thank you, E!

Besides, we have to give the network props for incorporating THG into last week's Dirty Soap premiere. So, let's break down what happened last night ...

Episode two of Dirty Soap (Get it? Soap makes you clean, not dirty!) provided some more insight into the goings on of daytime drama stars you may or may not have heard of.

Once again, the troubled Kirsten Storms of General Hospital fame was a focal point. Last week, we saw her grapple with the demise of her friendship with Farah Fath.

This week, her immediate family, not her soap family, too center stage.

Storms' family situation is certainly less than ideal, as she apparently only talks to her brother. With him leaving for Army flight school, she feels even more isolated.

Fortunately, she has her co-stars to lean on as a support system.

Veteran Kelly Monaco is thinking about dating again, which is great news for red-blooded American males, while Galen Gering channeled his inner Mr. Mom.

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The life and times of seven soap opera stars are chronicled on the latest E! reality show, Dirty Soap. Among them? General Hospital's troubled Kirsten Storms.

Storms' first taste of fame came as Zenon in Disney’s franchise Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century. She moves on to 7th Heaven, That’s So Raven and Clubhouse.

She then went on to star as Belle Black on Days of our Lives before assuming the role of Maxie Jones on General Hospital ... and running into some problems.

Here's an E! promo featuring a THG report on Storms' DUI arrest:

Dirty Soap Promo

On the premiere, Kirsten tried to figure out drama with her family, and why her relationship with BFF and One Life to Live star Farah Fath went so wrong.

Fortunately, her General Hospital co-star Kelly Monaco was there to help her through it. And look through a bunch of Kelly’s creepy fan mail. Woo hoo.

Elsewhere on the Dirty Soap premiere, Brandon Beemer finds Nadia Bjorlin getting her last Days of our Lives script. He teases her less-than-exciting exit.

Farah meets up with Nadia, her Days of our Lives co-star. The friends dish and chat about what crazy things happened with their characters as they shop.

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