Dina Lohan
Gossip

Tara Conner isn't the only alcoholic on the path to recovery.

This, of course, is coming from the warped mouth of Dina Lohan. So take it for what it is.

Nevertheless, less than a month after entering rehab, Lindsay Lohan is "doing great," her mother told People magazine.

"She's amazing. She's great and she's happy," Dina said Friday at the Child magazine fall 2007 fashion show in New York City. "She's in a really good space right now."

And there's a good chance Brody Jenner is lying there naked next to her.

In December, Lindsay had revealed that she had been attending Alcoholic Anonymous, and later that month told People, "I feel better not drinking. It's more fun."

Eventually, however, it's safe to assume Lohan will need to find a new way to land in the spotlight. Could she follow the path of Kim Kardashian and release a sex tape?

Is there really any doubt?

Look, just because Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson chose to have their marriage portrayed on national television doesn't mean the media should've covered it.

So goes the general logic of Dina Lohan.

In a rare moment of sobriety, the misguided mother blamed journalists for sending her daughter, Lindsay Lohan, into rehab.

After all, they wrote mean things about the 20-year old. They dared to snap pictures of her leaving Hyde. They printed her quotes. No other celebrity has to endure such defamation of character, right, Dina?

There's just one thing we know for sure: No way it's your fault at all for setting this kind of example.

A day after Lindsay Lohan revealed that she'd checked into rehab, her mother said the actress is "absolutely fine."

"This is a wonderful, giant step she's taking and it's all good," Dina Lohan told People magazine. "Hollywood's a really, really busy scary place and everything is under control."

Well, except for Lindsay's drinking. Hence, her trip to rehab. Dina might need to speak with Tara Conner to learn how this works.

Mrs. Lohan says she's proud that her 20-year-old daughter is mature enough to take care of herself and "not worry about what anyone's going to say about her."

On Wednesday, Lindsay said in a statement she had made the decision to enter rehab in order "to take care of my personal health." She also figured that if Keith Urban had been there, lots of hot guys, vulnerable were ripe for the picking.

"Everything's great and she's just getting a grip on her life," says Dina. "When I was 20 I don't know that I would be that strong to do that, so it's all good."

She added, in a bout of hyperbole, that "as a parent I couldn't be more pleased and proud."

Really, Dina? It actually is impressive that Lindsay is taking this step, but perhaps more pride could be taken if it weren't necessary to begin with. Let's just hope that's the case for your youngest, Ali Lohan.

Alcohol makers across the country should be thanking Dina Lohan today.

As her daughter, Lindsay Lohan, attends AA meetings and cuts down on her spirit consumption, it's nice to know that the family's matriarch is picking up the drinking slack.

Dina, 44, was spotted by a cameraman leaving Hyde over the weekend, accompanied by a younger man and the sort of carefree attitude that only an irresponsible mother can possess.

She unsuccessfully tried to escape the paparazzi by hiding behind a bus shelter on Sunset Boulevard. But it was left to her unidentified friend to utter the following words of wisdom: "We can never come to Hyde."

Look, Dina, we've already given up hope on Lindsay. But can you please keep Ali Lohan in mind the next time you get liquored up in public? The girl is only 12.

And we fear you may already have lost her to Wilmer Valderrama.