Welcome, celebrity gossip fans and readers, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, our Friday tradition. Who won the Caption Contest this week?
Holly. Congratulations! The winning entry appears below the photo, with the full list of entries below that. Thanks for playing and good luck again this week!
The only pig that I can legally devour …
Charlie Sheen may be a moronic racist.
But he still has a long way to go until he’s as awful and self-involved as a parent as ex-wife Denise Richards.
The star of Denise Richards: It’s Complicated has exploited her children further (we didn’t think it was possible, either!), by telling In Touch Weekly that little Lola, 3, and little Sam, 4, are in therapy.
“My kids are in therapy. It’s very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, it’s good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.”
Wait, Denise? Do you mean to say that appearing on a reality show isn’t an outlet to deal with their feelings?
Kids, you can go back to your nanny as soon as Mommy cashes in on your cuteness.
Richards, ever the humanitarian, added:
“If I can help anyone feel better about their kids being in therapy, then something else good has come of this.”
Got that, concerned parents of the world? If your children are in need of psychiatric help, don’t worry: someone as normal and as grounded as Denise Richards has been through this.
With Miley Cyrus and Jamie Lynn Spears baby news dominating the celebrity gossip world, our staff has learned much from its favorite stars.
Below, Miley, Jamie Lynn, Charlie Sheen, R. Kelly and other celebrities aim to inspire celebrity news readers in the form of motivational posters! You know, the ones promoting “teamwork” or telling you to “hang in there” in offices or dorm rooms?
Heed their wisdom and consider yourselves motivated …
Follow the jump for more inspirational messages from celebrities …
Celebrity quotes often makes us laugh, or cringe or wanna find the nearest rope to tie around the neck of Spencer Pratt.
However, the following words - uttered by Charlie Sheen to Denise Richards in a series of voice mails he allegedly left his insane, pathetic ex-wife - take the inappropriate, ridiculous, racist cake.
On tapes that mysteriously just popped up all over the Internet, Sheen went off on Richards:
I hope I never f-cking talk to you again you f-cking c-nt. F-ck you. You’re a coward and a liar and a f-cking n-gger alright, so f-ck you.
We have numerous reactions to this rant:
Overall, as we’ve rightfully depicted Richards as an attention whore of an awful mother over the last few weeks, we’ve forgotten that Charlie Sheen is no Beaver Cleaver himself. The prostitute and pornography lover appears to be a racist moron.
Make a run for it, Brooke Mueller.
This is the season for fun summer dresses - in particular, a pink “maxi-dress” by Gypsy 05. Just ask three of our favorite celebrities!
Lauren Conrad wore it to a beach bash in Malibu, while reality TV whore Denise Richards stepped out in the same piece in West Hollywood. Tori Spelling went shopping in L.A. recently in the identical dress:
Who looks best: Lauren Conrad, Denise Richards or Tori Spelling?
Gold-digging, man-eating skank media whore or misunderstood mom just trying to get by? Since her ugly split with Charlie Sheen, it’s been complicated for Denise Richards - but whose side are you on? That’s the subject of today’s Face-Off …
TEAM CHARLIE SHEEN OR TEAM DENISE RICHARDS?
TEAM DENISE RICHARDS by mischalova
Charlie Sheen may come across as a lovable, humorous fellow because he stars in a hit sitcom and has appeared in hilarious movies such as Hot Shots!
But there’s nothing funny about the way he treated Denise Richards during their time as a couple. He allegedly viewed child porn, slept with prostitutes and hated on dogs.
Yet, somehow, Richards is the one receiving flak simply for starring in a reality show. Excuse me? Can you blame the woman for wanting to set the record straight?
This is a single, working mother that recently sent her ex-husband a text message, inquiring about his attendance at an event at daughter Sam’s school. His response?
“I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer… Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.”
Richards, meanwhile, has been accused of exploiting her kids by giving them air time on her upcoming reality show, It’s Complicated. But history shows that reality TV actually helps the careers of children. Just ask Brooke Hogan or Kim Kardashian.
Just as she did by participating in a filmed threesome for the movie Wild Things, Richards is doing everything she can to ensure the best possible future for her daughters. Sheen? He’s trying to replace their mother with Brooke Mueller.
That’s why we take exception to the title of Richards’ reality show. Nothing about this is complicated. Team Denise all the way.
Ever wonder why celebrities are considered to be desperate for attention? Self-indulgent? Complete idiots?
Take a look at what Denise Richards recently said, regarding the controversy she’s walked into by starring in a reality show with her little children, and wonder no more:
If I have my kids on my show, I’m exploiting them. If I don’t, people will think I’m not a hands on mom – That’s why it’s very important to me that the girls are part of it.
Not only is Richards seemingly asking for pity because - oh, the horror! - she’s in such a no-win situation, but apparently it’s never occurred to her that there’s a third option: DON’T STAR IN A REALITY SHOW!
We wonder what Denise Richards will tell her children about photo shoots such as this. Or threesomes such as the one in Wild Things.
We aren’t familiar with Richards’ financial situation, but an actress that looks like her could make a decent enough living appearing in random movies here and there; there’s no way she needs to star in a reality show.
Heck, taking out payday loans or cash advances would be more responsible.
As we’ve collected a slew of celebrity quotes for our new section, we’ve been overcome by the absurdity of many (yes, we’re looking at you, Spencer Pratt) - but no star has exhibited the sort of pathetic, self-pitying, ignorant point of view as Richards has with this utterance.
You got out of there just in time, Charlie Sheen.
Another celebrity fashion face-off featuring one of your favorite TV stars (and another who’s past her prime and in the process of whoring out her little kids on a reality show to stay in the spotlight).
Your job to is to tell us who looks better in the same dress!
Denise Richards picked up an Armani Exchange dress at the line’s L.A. store, while Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester snagged her wave-print dress at the New York boutique. Easy call? Toss-up? You be the judge …
Who wins this fashion clash: Leighton Meester or Denise Richards?
We’ve questioned the intelligence of Brooke Mueller for awhile now. After all, this random celebrity is engaged to serial pornography lover, Charlie Sheen.
But our opinion of Mueller has improved after hearing her comments on the upcoming Denise Richards reality show, the series that’s set to star Sheen’s ex-wife and two young children.
“Charlie and I both think it’s exploitative and not good,” Mueller said to Us Weekly. “But the judge ruled in her favor so there’s nothing we can do.”
After making her comments, Mueller then asked the entertainment news reporter to replay them on a tape recorder.
“Right that’s perfect,” she said, adding, “because what I really want to say …. Oooh!”
A pair of useless celebrities celebrated birthdays yesterday.
Paris Hilton turned 27 and partied it up at Pure night club in Las Vegas alongside the Pussycat Dolls over the weekend. She looked more skanked out than usual as she did so.
Also, Denise Richards turned 36. While we wouldn’t have had anything negative to say about the ex-wife of Charlie Sheen last month, recent news that she’s pimping out her children on an upcoming reality show might actually rank the actress below Hilton now.
When will your favorite star blow out his/her candles? Check out our new celebrity birthdays page now to see!
