Dane Cook
Gossip

Dane Cook is an unfunny moron.

At this week's Teen Choice Awards, the formerly popular stand-up comedian took to the stage and called out Vanessa Hudgens.

Not content to simply refer to her multiple-time naked picture scandal, Cook forced the camera to pan to the actress and then couldn't even muster a joke about her. He simply said:

Girl, you gotta keep your clothes on!

As the clip below (which was actually edited out of the broadcast) proves, Vanessa looked far from happy about the mockery:

We'd have less of a problem with the reference if Cook actually made an attempt to be funny or witty. You know, something like:

High School Musical? More like High School Nude-ical!

OR:

Bandslam? More like Band-slammin' Body!

You get the idea.

Instead, Cook just exploited the situation without even trying to be creative. That's extra lame. Don't you agree?

We heard Raquel Houghton sing for the first time tonight.

But we can already say this about the American Idol contestant: she has better vocal chops than taste in men.

The aspiring crooner dated unfunny comedian Dane Cook for over two years. The couple was first spotted together at the September 2006 premiere of Cook's horrific movie, Employee of the Month.

Raquel Houghton is off to Hollywood! Ex-boyfriend Dane Cook remembers what it was like to be successful there.

"We've been invited to other functions, but this is our first event of this caliber. This is my baby," Cook said of Houghton at the event who he described as "independent and funny — two things I like in a woman."

Houghton - a singer with the quintet The Valli Girls at the time - was escorted down the red carpet by Cook at the film's premiere.

Dane Cook's half brother - who was also his business manager - has been arrested for allegedly embezzling upwards of $10 million from the celebrity.

Darryl McCauley was charged with three counts of larceny and forgery for bilking the unfunny comedian and alleged actor. Authorities made the arrest after searching his Wilmington, Mass., home and discovered more than $800,000 - in $100 bills.

Massachusetts State Police authorities allege Cook's brother was busted after his latest heist, in which stole the money they old fashioned way - forging a $3 million check from Dane and depositing it in his account. Simple, really.

McCauley, who has been in charge of Dane Cook's financial affairs since his early career in the 1990s, when he merely a little-known unfunny comedian, will be arraigned on Wednesday in Woburn District Court in Massachusetts.

He has surrendered his passport and is being held on $3 million bail. Authorities continue to investigate McCauley, who will return to court in Boston January 15.

We don't know what's more upsetting here - that some guy would actually do this to his own brother, or that Dane Cook possessed $10 million dollars.

The Lakers are the hottest ticket in L.A. - at least when the happen to be playing the World Champions. Yesterday, the heated Lakers-Boston Celtics rivalry resumed and numerous stars ventured to the Staples Center to take in the action.

For instance, here's Snoop Dogg, wife Shante Broadus and Boston's own Dane Cook cheering on their respective teams. Yeah, we know, it's no Zanessa ...

Click to enlarge more pictures of celebs (including a DJ AM sighting!) at yesterday's big NBA contest, which was somehow won by Los Angeles, 92-83 ...

[Photo Credits: Splash News Online]

There's only one time in your life when you turn 36 years old.

There's only one unfunny comedian that celebrates such a milestone today.

There's only one Dane Cook! (Thank goodness!)

When does someone more famous and exciting than Cook celebrate the anniversary of his or her birth? Confer with our celebrity birthdays calendar now and see for yourself!

Let's start with Jessica Simpson and how the filming of her new movie, Employee of the Month, helped her navigate through a difficult life adjustment.

"I was going through a pretty rough time while making Employee of the Month," she said at the film's Los Angeles premiere on Tuesday, "so all these guys just really lightened my day. They made it bright."

Who would those guys be? Certainly not ex-husband, Nick Lachey.

The film costars Dane Cook and Dax Shepard. It was filmed in New Mexico. Jessica referred to the location as "relaxing and peaceful," while making sure the cast and crew ate things that were yummy and tasty.

"I made cupcakes here and there. I love to bake so I would bring stuff to set all the time," said the offspring of Crazy Joe Simpson.

Jessica was still nervous about what audiences would think, but the reception at the premiere was positive. She said she was "beaming" afterward. As for Cook? He has other reasons to smile.

Dane, who attended the premiere with girlfriend Racquel Houghton, was linked to Simpson during filming, but told reporters of the gossip, "We laugh about it."

He's also completed movies with the three hottest Jessicas out there. Besides Simpson, whom he says is a "breath of fresh air â€" I had no idea she was so funny," there was:

• Good Luck Chuck with Jessica Alba -- "a brilliant physical comedian"
• London with Jessica Biel -- "amazing actress"

Look out, Jesse Metcalf, you might be next on the Dane docket!

We don't know for sure what happened between Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson.

But while Lachey has settled on Vanessa Minnillo - after dating every set of mammary glands in Hollywood - Jessica has only been linked to one lucky guy: Dane Cook. Are these Teen Choice Award co-hosts actually an item?

Who cares? What's important is that YOU, the reader, now have a chance to comment on which hunk is the hottest:

Hey, she's now officially a single woman. Jessica Simpson can date anyone she pleases, a perk of bachelor hood ex-husband Nick Lachey has certainly been taking advantage of.

So, who does Jessica have her sights on? Don't laugh, but it's comedian Dane Cook. The duo co-stars in the upcoming movie, Employee of the Month. But might they also be one another's Lovers of the Moment?

According to Life & Style Weekly, "sparks flew" during the filming of the movie over the winter - but Cook was still dating longtime girlfriend, Racquel Houghton.

Those two have since called it quits, however. And Last week, Cook and Simpson "couldn't hide their feelings" for each other at the Hollywood club, Hyde. The publication quoted a source as saying the following:

"They looked like two people trying not to look like a couple but who really wanted to rip each other's clothes off."

Sounds like The Gossip every time we look at Jessica. Somehow, Cook has managed to star in back-to-back productions with Simpson and Jessica Alba. We'd love to know his Jessica secret.

Jessica Alba is booking movie after movie. After taking over for the airhead known as "Linday Lohan" in one film, Alba will be starring with America's favorite comedian in her following gig.

That's right, Dane Cook will venture onto the big screen alongside Alba in Good Luck Chuck. Seems to us that Cook would be the one with all the luck in this scenario.

The movie is about a serial dater, played by Cook, who gains a reputation for pushing women towards their soulmates inadvertently. Alba will try to stop his unlucky streak. We bet she succeeds!

X-Men editor Mark Helfrich will direct the picture. Filming will begin next month.