While all eyes were on Jake Pavelka Monday night and his decision to marry Vienna Girardi, ABC used its time in the TV spotlight to reveal the new cast of Dancing with the Stars.

The season will NOT include Kym Johnson, Dmitry Chaplin, Jonathon Roberts or Karina Smirnoff as professional partners. But the set of celebrities taking the stage will be comprised of one woman with a large vagina and one with large breasts, among others.

As an encore to his nut-busting ad, GQ and Vanity Fair spreads and not-totally-nude Playgirl pictorial, Levi Johnston is toying with all potential career options.

One he'd totally be down for? Dancing with the Stars!

Posted in: Levi Johnston

Not since the Classic period of 250 AD to 900 AD has a Mayan dominated the world stage as much as Mya has controlled season nine of Dancing with the Stars.

It's been the most boring couple months in show history largely due to the random set of contestants chosen by ABC; but also because the winner has been clear from the outset.

Dancing with the Stars Quotes

We should have started dancing with one arm waaay before.

Cristian de la Fuente [following his injury, trip to the hospital and subsequent stellar performance]

I am not the best dancer, and I have not been the best dancer from the beginning. I am happy we made it this far.

Cristian de la Fuente