Courtenay Semel
Gossip

Life isn't easy for Courtenay Semel.

The daughter of former Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel must attend nightclubs and red carpet events, all while being mauled by Tila Tequila as she searches around desperately for the closest celebrity gossip photographer.

No wonder Courtenay had no choice but to inform all friends on Facebook that her Relationship Status was "complicated." Does the above description sound simple?

Here's a look at Semel's most recent profile on Facebook:

Courtenay Semel suffers from a relationship almost as complicated as the spelling of her first name. 

What would this traditional American holiday be without family, food, football and reflection upon the things we appreciate the most in life - in our case, some of the biggest turkeys we've had the privilege of covering this year.

With that said, we present our Top 10 Turkeys of 2008 ...

10. John Mayer. A douchebag 364 days a year. Honorary poultry today.

9. Britney Spears. Last year's top turkey falls to #9 by virtue of calming the hell down from February on. The first month of 2008 alone, though? Wow.

8. Miley Cyrus. Anyone who goes topless for Vanity Fair at age 15 and/or celebrates their birthday four months in advance automatically makes the list.

7. Courtenay Semel. She's far from the first E-list celebrity go to great lengths for publicity. Pretending to be a lesbian sets the bar pretty low, though.

6. Adrienne Bailon. Being dumb enough to take nude pics and let them get stolen is one thing. Staging the entire stunt with your loser publicist? Pathetic.

A collection of some of the year's biggest turkeys.

5. Ashlee Simpson. The zenith of uselessness to begin with, Jessica's l'il sis went and named her kid Bronx Mowgli. Just a "fowl" move all around.

4. (Tie) Sarah Palin, for this heartwarming Thanksgiving video, and her #1 fan Elisabeth Hasselbeck, 'cause no turkey gets ruffles feathers quite like her.

3. Alex Rodriguez. Months without a clutch hit. Railing strippers. Divorcing Cynthia Rodriguez. Referring to Madonna his "f*%king soulmate, dude." Gobble, gobble.

2. Eliot Spitzer. The Governor of New York State apparently thought it was worth his job and marriage to give call girl Ashley Dupre a good "stuffing." Har har.

1. Spencer Pratt. The villain you love to hate from The Hills capped off a hilarious year by eloping with Heidi Montag. Say what you will about him, Spencer plays the celebrity gossip game to perfection, 24/7/365. And we love him for it.

Losing your d-list star status and the perks that go with it? There's nothing like a little girl-on-girl action to get you back on celebrity gossip sites.

Tila Tequila and her "girlfriend" Courtenay Semel whored it up nice at the after-party for the American Music Awards at Social in L.A. Get a room!

Both skanks brought their A-game - Tila Tequila looks ready to straight up maul Courtenay Semel, the epitome of class in a circa 2001 sparkly, backless dress.

The expression on Court's face says it all. Even in the process of getting to second base with her alleged lover, she's focused instead on who's taking pictures.

We'll never understand Courtenay Semel.

One moment, the useless socialite is making out with occasional lesbian Tila Tequila; the next, she's all over fashion designer Wayne Joffe.

The two were spotted out together in celebration of Semel's birthday earlier this week. While we can't confirm a hook up between the pair, a source states that Joffe "may be a jazzbo."

We'll have more news on that possibility as it breaks, but this much is certain: Semel is one angry Q-list celebrity...

Chill out, Courtenay Semel. You posted these pics on your own Facebook account.

Best wishes are in order for The Hollywood Gossip's all-time favorite unattractive, wannabe lesbian daughter of a Fortune 500 CEO.

Indeed, Courtenay Semel turns 29 years old today.

Ironically, that's the same number of times Semel pretended to make out with Tila Tequila in public this summer, as the pair embarked on a fake relationship in order to garner attention. Which semi-famous bisexual will Courtenay mooch off next?

We'll let you know!

"Do you even know who I am, f**king idiot?...Google me, you dumb f**k."

- Courtenay Semel to a security guard in Las Vegas, following an August arrest

While Courtenay Semel is engaged in a fake lesbian relationship with Tila Tequila, there's nothing phony about the trouble she now finds herself in.

The security guard to whom Courtenay uttered the famous lines above is suing her for allegedly throwing down with him in a drunken stupor a few months ago.

According to TMZ, in a lawsuit filed yesterday, Jaroslaw Jarczok says he was working security at PURE Nightclub when Semel was "quite intoxicated due to alcohol and/or chemical or other substances."

She cursed him out, chaos ensued and the daughter of former Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel was eventually handcuffed. After that, Courtenay allegedly punched Jarczok in the face and spoke the words that deserve to be repeated:

"Do you even know who I am, f**king idiot?...Google me, you dumb f**k."

Jarczok is seeking unspecified damages.

We haven't heard a word about Tila Tequila or Courtenay Semel since their break up a few weeks ago.

Hence, the need for the couple to pretend to get back together. Talentless hacks need attention somehow!

The pair cuddled up at a fashion show in Los Angeles last week, looking every bit like the fake lesbian fame seekers that they are:

As usual, Courtenay Semel looks thrilled to be the object of Tila Tequila's affection.

If a pretend lesbian relationship that no one cared about to begin with falls apart, did it ever exist in the first place?

The celebrity gossip world must ponder such a question, now that Courtenay Semel and Tila Tequila have broken up.

Not much is known about the end of this relationship - which found the couple mysteriously engaging in over-the-top PDA any time a camera was around - but one report says Semel cheated on Tequila. Tough break for T-squared.

Fortunately, Tila knows how to handle rejections. Paging the producers of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 3!

Tila Tequila needs to find a new man or woman to publicly lather up.

Desperate to wrest attention away from girl-on-girl action stars Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson, LiLo's possible ex, Courtenay Semel, turned up today!

In front of a judge, that is.

Semel officially pleaded guilty in Las Vegas, Nev., to charges of misdemeanor battery. She was given a lenient fine and will have to pay just $250. Lame.

The daughter of former Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel allegedly smacked up a security guard at Pure nightclub in Vegas after a wild and crazy night out in August.

K-Fed would surely disapprove of her shenanigans at his favorite haunt.

This is the hottest photo of Courtenay Semel in existence, which says a lot.

In truth, the unattractive girlfriend of Tila Tequila actually tried to attract as little attention as possible when she arrived at the courthouse today.

Courtenay Semel used none other than O.J. Simpson as a diversion - the murderer was about to show up for his most recent kidnapping trial and caused a media circus at the front door, allowing Semel to sneak in the back undetected.

Tila Tequila is persistent.

And we don't just mean in how often she'll pose naked.

The MySpace vixen and reality TV star simply won't give up on her fake relationship with Courtenay Semel. No matter how many photos are snapped of Semel looking completely uninterested, Tequila refuses to back down.

She'll grind up on Courtenay until every celebrity gossip photographer within a six-mile radius has ran out of film firing away at these attention whores. It's an impressive display, really.

Courtenay Semel has little response to Tila Tequila's attempt at girl-on-girl action.