Cisco Adler
Gossip

If you thought the sight of Cisco Adler naked was disgusting, imagine swapping spit with the man himself.

Reportedly, Paris Hilton no longer has to envision this scenario: she lived it last night at Guy's karaoke.

A TMZ spy spotted Hilton making out with the giant testicled man at the club last night, with Paris going so far as to give Adler a little lap dance. There's nothing like getting to first base with the sloppy seconds of Mischa Barton, is there?

We wonder how Tyler Atkins feels about this news.

Undoubtedly, the heiress is looking to steal the celebrity gossip spotlight back from Lindsay Lohan, but did she have to make all our stomachs turn in order to do it?

She'd be better off taking the Nicole Scherzinger approach and not acting like a stripper. But, then again, that's what makes Paris Hilton Paris Hilton, isn't it?

When she wasn't getting randy in the crowd, Paris graced the stage with a rendition of "Bette Davis Eyes," followed by a medley of her hit "Stars are Blind."

The Hollywood Gossip tells it like it is.

As a celebrity gossip provider, that means you've occasionally got to get down, dirty, explicit and profane in covering the famous people that make the news.

That's been our philosophy since our first post (about Lindsay Lohan) 13 months ago.

Nonetheless, according to a new blog rating system, which rates gossip blogs the same way as movies, T.H. Gossip has been given parental guidance suggested, "PG" status.

How, we're not sure. It was a close shave. Not unlike that recently given to that shank Paris Hilton. Man, that thing was given a serious waxing!

Despite a consistent deluge of raunchy articles and censored nude / sexual photos, we were able to dodge the more risque "PG-13" or "R" designations.

Guess all those shots of Britney Spears wearing no underwear and all that talk about Amanda Beard and Garcelle Beauvais nude wasn't enough. Oh well. We'll work harder, we promise.

Here are a couple of good celebrity photos from our (apparently PG) archive.

Mischa Barton jetted off yesterday for Russia - which isn't far enough away from her ex-boyfriend Cisco Adler, as far as her parents are concerned.

The stunning former star of The OC gave her parents, Paul Marsden Barton and Nuala Quinn, quite a scare on Memorial Day when she was rushed by ambulance to California's Sherman Oaks Hospital after a party.

Barton had "an allergic reaction" after combining antibiotics (which she was taking for bronchitis) with booze, according to her publicist, who says her client was not taking mushrooms.

Just read the last sentence again, will you?

Mischa Barton did spend over a half hour in the bathroom at the party. And she was in a state of undress when she arrived at the emergency room, according to a source.

Now, if this were Kristin Cavallari in a state of undress at the ER, we're guessing none of the male orderlies would be complaining.

But this is Mischa we're talking about.

The one good thing that happened to Mischa Barton that day was the mistake made by the paparazzi, which set up shop outside the wrong hospital.

Barton's parents met her at the hospital - the correct one - to find their drugged-up daughter making a frantic phone call... to the Cisco Kid.

We're talking about Cisco Adler.

"They were angry about her condition," says a spy. "When they left the room, she ran to the phone and tried to call Cisco Adler," whom she supposedly broke up with months ago.

Hey, sometimes you wanna see Cisco Adler naked and sometimes you don't.

It's no secret that Barton's parents are not the biggest fans of the hard-partying, sometimes nude rocker best known to Internet surfers for... well, being a D-list rock star who likes being nude and partying.

"Her dad came back into the room, and heard Mischa Barton deliriously saying, 'Cisco, Cisco,'" says a New York Daily News source.

"Her dad freaked out. She put the phone down, but he yelled at the staff about letting her use the phone."

Wonder if Cisco's ex-fiancee, Kimberly Stewart, also makes such frantic calls.

Either way, after getting some IV fluids, Barton was sent on her merry way.

The experience should help the genuinely talented beauty avoid the excesses of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, who were at the same party.

Since the weekend, she's been getting ready for her untitled movie, for which she's been learning the Russian language.

They don't speak that in Kazakhstan, but our guess is that Borat would still sleep with Barton... or any other woman with a pulse.

We apologize ahead of time for this edition of Photo Finish.

Typically, we aim to give readers a challenge, to pit two reasonably attractive celebrities against each other in some type of fashion face-off. Half nude Kim Kardashian vs. haf nude Matthew McConaughey? There's a battle!

Christina Aguilera vs. Fergie? You can't really lose, either way.

Conversely, we're not sure how anyone can win when Kimberly Stewart is involved. The spoiled daughter of rock legend Rod likes to curse random people off, as well as pole dance really badly. Quite the combination.

She only stands a chance in this Boone's Farm T-shirt tussle because her competition is Cisco Adler. The Weird Al-lookalike is really only known for two things:

1. Dating Mischa Barton
2. Taking awful nude pictures

In other words: Good luck voting, readers!

Mischa Barton and Cisco Adler are done.

No, this time they actually are. Really. But not over a nude pic.

The pair affectionately known to the Hollywood Gossip as Badler has decided to call it quits, ending a relationship of a year-and-a-half, Barton's rep confirms this week to Us Weekly.

"Mischa and Cisco have decided to part ways," says the rep. "Mischa is moving east soon and they both have very demanding schedules."

About a week ago, Us Weekly broke the news that the former star of The OC and her medicinal marijuana puffing beau had ended their romance, due in no small part to an interesting (to say the least) pic of Cisco Adler naked.

But later in the week, the New York Observer spoke with Adler about Barton and "Ballgate" and the Weird Al look-alike was nonchalant about the whole thing. Then false reports surfaced claiming the couple had not split.

"They are fine, very happy together," said a rep for Contango Records, the label that handles Adler's band, Whitestarr.

The couple has been dating since August 2005, two months after Barton, 21, ended a one-year relationship with oil heir Brandon Davis. Adler, 28, was once engaged to Kimberly Stewart, daughter of Rod Stewart.

Barton will next be seen on the big screen starring with Hayden Christensen in Virgin Territory, a film set in Italy during the Black Plague.

Adler will be smoking chronic, rocking out pretty damn hard and looking for a new hot young Hollywood thing to date. Hey, Cisco kid - we hear that Kim Kardashian is a hellcat in the sack.

You have to take your hat off to Cisco Adler.

Not because he has any redeeming qualities. For the opposite reason. He's becoming more famous by the day after a nude pic of him was found (along with a new Paris Hilton sex tape) in a certain hotel heiress' locker. And while he wouldn't have chosen for this to happen, Mischa Barton's beau is cool with it.

It's only appropriate, then, that he be matched up with Weird Al Yankovic in our latest edition of Celebrity Look-Alikes. In terms of pure fame, no one has done more with less than Weird Al, the hilarious musical parody king. His career has outlasted most of the people he's mocked, for crying out loud.

Here's a photo comparison of the two long-haired wackos:

All we ask is that Weird Al please, for the love of God, keep his pants on. We've seen Cisco Adler naked already. The last thing we need is a double dose of the same trauma.

Hold the phone. Badler may not be done just yet.

According to Cisco Adler's rep, who must not be a very good rep if he is repping Cisco Adler, the 28-year-old dirtball and his girlfriend, Mischa Barton, are still together despite reports that she dumped him over a nude photo of him that surfaced last month.

"They are fine - very happy together," a rep for Contango Records, the label that handles Adler's band, Whitestarr, tells People.

But that's not to say that Barton, the former star of The OC, was thrilled when this revealing picture of Cisco Adler naked emerged on a site called ParisExposed.com. And one can understand why.

"Mischa wasn't too excited, to say the least," Adler said of the "Ballgate" scandal in an interview with the New York Observer.

"I think it was actually worse for her than for me in some ways. So yeah, I'm gonna try to keep my pants on from now on."

Hear that, Britney Spears?

In addition to the naked Cisco pic, the site Paris Exposed displayed other items belonging to Paris Hilton that were obtained when the contents of a storage unit she rented (which just happened to include graphic sex tapes and nude pictures of Cisco Adler) were sold.

After Hilton sued the site's owners, a judge ordered it to be temporarily shut down.

"Paris' sh!t got stolen, and somehow she had a picture of me naked in there," Adler explains to the Observer. "That's Paris Hilton for you."

It truly is. But the Cisco kid himself remains unfazed.

"I think it's pretty rock 'n' roll. You know, if it was like, yesterday, I would've freaked out, but then I looked at the picture and I was like, 'Oh, that's from like 2001. Whatever.'"

Barton's rep was not available for comment. But it's good to see that Ballgate has blown over and the couple has many fun days of scoring medicinal marijuana ahead.

Apparently, the naked truth hurts. Literally.

Mischa Barton has parted ways with her loser boyfriend, Cisco Adler, after nude pictures of the latter surfaced on the Internets.

Yes, you read that accurately. And can see it (censored) below.

This picture of Cisco Adler turned up in Paris Hilton's possessions when a storage locker of the heiress' was allegedly raided and the contents (which included sex tapes and other incriminating photos) sold.

His medicinal marijuana scam was one thing. But one can certainly see how the revelation that this was up in Paris Hilton's locker (and probably in Paris Hilton herself) would prompt Mischa to part ways with the dirtbag.

"They had a blowup," a friend said. "She was furious."

The former star of The OC had been with Adler since the fall of 2005, when she broke up with none other than Brandon Davis, a.k.a. Greasy Bear.

Prior to dating Mischa, the Cisco kid was engaged to Kimberly Stewart.

What is it about this guy that makes the anorexic hotties swoon? Is it his access to drugs? His personality? Maybe it's his absolutely enormous... hair?

The former star of The OC, Mischa Barton, and her dirtbag boyfriend, Cisco Adler, came within minutes of being part of a search and seizure warrant being executed on a medical marijuana distribution center in West Hollywood on January 17.

Adler's visit to the center that day was no different than any number of times he visited it. As usual, Cisco parked his Mercedes on the busy street with girlfriend Mischa Barton waiting patiently in the passenger seat.

Cisco was buzzed in, and after less than five minutes inside, he appeared with a small white bag, and the two drove off.

As Badler left, they failed to notice that two nearby side streets were lined with police cars, and Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) officers wearing bullet proof vests who were preparing to raid the small store front.

Just 15 minutes after Cisco Adler and Mischa drove off, the agents stormed in and sifted through documents, copied hard drives, and left with pounds of marijuana and other paraphernalia. Officials did not say whether Nicole Richie was also in there at the time. But it wouldn't be shocking.

Medical marijuana became legal in California in 1996, but while the Golden State technically legalized medical marijuana, the Federal Government still considers it illegal, and the Feds have all the power over the state. Local officials lately have been taking legal action as well as the DEA to crack down on shops.

We don't know what painful and life-threatening ailment has stricken Cisco and Mischa have that they need almost daily doses of marijuana, but we do know that he may have to find other avenues to fulfill their special needs.

Local officials in Los Angeles are now calling for a suspension of all pot shops until they can investigate if the pot shops are operating within the limitations of the law. Don't worry, guys - surely Kevin Federline can get you his dealer's pager number. 

Stick-figure actress Mischa Barton steps out with her boyfriend at Beverly Hills restaurant La Scala on Wednesday. One can only wonder what she ate (and then threw up in the bathroom when she went to go "freshen up").

The former star of The OC, which is experiencing a renaissance of sorts since she was killed off, has a slew of films on the way in the new year, including the drama Virgin Territory, co-starring Hayden Christensen, and The OH in Ohio.

As for her beau, Cisco Adler? He has a slew of fries to serve up at Burger King.