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Someone really needs to get Kourtney Kardashian a GPS for her bikini body.

The unmarried mother continues to lose her figure every few weeks. Fortunately, she always recovers it, just in time to grace the cover of a supermarket tabloid. Amazing how that works, isn't it?

Kourt Slims Down

Even though she's already told us how she lost 33 pounds, while also having already shared her diet secrets with the world, Kourtney is featured yet again in the latest issue of Life & Style.

Forget about her sister's dangerous new love, we're dying to discover the tips that can help us get airbrushed by magazines lose so much weight. Take it away, Kourt!

Small diet tweaks: "I used to always get a chai latte from Starbucks, but I just switched to one espresso shot... I was eating a lot of dried fruit, and I didn't realize how much sugar that added. And now I'll eat raw almonds instead of salted ones."

Embrace a physical activity: "I'm big on running - just putting on my iPod Shuffle and going for a run by my house."

Eat fresh food: "Frozen yogurt tastes so chemically to me because I've been eating salads and salmon and chicken. Fresh food is so much better."

Then, there's this final tip: Get pregnant in order to increase ratings for your reality show, pocket lots of cash by exploiting this situation for every tabloid in the country, use that money to pay a personal trainer and personal chef to help you get toned, use Photoshop, offer absolutely nothing of substance to the world.

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Apparently unimpressed by the Jesse James scandal, or that its own cover girl just went through a rather notable breakup, OK! magazine decided to do this big feature on celebrity diets and workout tips (wow, how original!) this week.

Filming in Miami with her sisters, professional celebrity Kim Kardashian has been turning heads with her firm physique. But believe us, that is no accident.

“Kim has been in her bikini for a week while in Miami — that’s the perfect motivation to stay fit,” a source close to Kim tells the celebrity gossip magazine.

Having admitted in the past that she’s “not good at dieting,” Kim recently switched her habits - and it's paid off. Now after losing almost 20 pounds since last summer, she’s determined to keep her stunning new 114-pound shape.

Bikini Diets That So Work

“I need to start eating better because it’s just healthy,” Tweeted the reality star. Since then, she’s switched to a low-carb diet, continued taking QuickTrim’s Extreme Burn supplements and made time for 3-5 workouts every week.

That's the first paragraph to ever include the words "healthy" and "QuickTrim" side by side! The scintillating magazine article also breaks down ...

  • Kim's shake recipe (and we ain't talkin' 'bout shakin' dat booty for Ray J, peeps) and more of the hot secrets she uses to get that bikini bod in Miami
  • Gisele Bundchen, Padma Lakshmi and Ellen Pompeo and how all three of these beautiful celebrities all slimmed down after their recent pregnancies
  • Britney Spears getting her figure back
  • Salma Hayek’s diet secrets
  • Kirstie Alley’s slimdown

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Kourtney Kardashian has lost a great deal of her baby weight because she takes QuickTrim, the same unhealthy, non-FDA approved supplement shilled for by sisters Kim and Khloe.

You're welcome. We just saved you the price of this week's OK! Weekly.

Indeed, Kourtney poses on the cover of that magazine's latest edition, once again cradling son Mason and setting a great example for talentless socialites around the world:

You, too, can achieve fame and fortune if you get knocked up outside marriage and sell your soul to a weight loss supplement.

Save yourself 50 cents. Read about Jessica Simpson's new body, Jen and Gerard's flirting and everything related to Jake Pavelka on THG!

This is the third consecutive week Kourtney and Mason have graced the cover of a supermarket tabloid. You tell us:

Is this an example of capitalism at its best, or of an explotive mother pimping out her helpless baby in exchange for an increased bank account?

Baby Cover

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It's been well-documented that Kim Kardashian's weight loss method is unhealthy and not recommended by any professionals.

But the busty brunette isn't the only beautiful celebrity to take short cuts and set a bad example when it comes to dieting.

Megan Fox recently went on record with the key to her figure. It's an odd, disgusting one: the actress uses vinegar to flush out toxins from her system.

"It's just water and raw apple cider vinegar, and it just cleans out your system entirely. I'm not one for dieting or exercising 'cause I'm lazy and I have a really big sweet tooth, so I have to do cleanses every once in a while."

Does anyone else find Fox's nude body a little less attractive, now that we know it's the result of frequent diaherra bouts?

Very Foxy

As you might expect, health experts find Fox's system to be completely misguided. This is dietitian Lucy Jones' take:

"As attractive as it sounds, there is no magic pill, lotion or potion for a quick fix to weight loss. The body, including the liver, is a well-oiled detoxing machine, which will not be improved by vinegar, whether it be organic, apple cider, unfiltered, or your bog-standard malt vinegar."

Amen, Lucy! Please pass that message on to females around the world.

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Give Ashley Greene credit for this at least:

When asked how she stayed in shape, the actress didn't pull a Kim Kardashian and start to shill for a dangerous weight loss product.

Still, the Twilight Saga star's publicist actually nudged his client after she gave the following response to Us Weekly:

"It was really easy. We were working 12 hours a day, so it didn't leave too much time to eat."

Kids, don't try that diet at home.

Ash Greene

Greene added that the (hot!) cast had a personal trainer on set that put each star through four hours of training per day.

To stay in shape these days, she also told the magazine she does Pilates about six days per week.

"I do it early in the morning. It wakes you up, and it's kind of refreshing," she said. "And that is basically it. Sometimes cardio. I am not a big weight person because when I do weights I build muscle mass."

Much to the delight of women everywhere, Taylor Lautner can vouch for that. Can he ever!

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Levi Johnston has been working out like a madman to prepare for his Playgirl photo shoot. He's also looking to gobble up massive amounts of publicity and attention high-protein moose meat whenever he can go hunting.

The 19-year-old baby daddy of Bristol Palin definitely didn't shoot blanks when he knocked her up last year, so you best believe he uses live ammo, if you follow.

"Moose meat is very good for you, high in protein and very lean," his trainer, Marvin Jones, told People magazine. "[Levi] is an avid hunter, so he has his own."

He's adopted a 3,500-calorie low-carb diet as part of a grueling regimen to ready him for next month's highly-anticipated Levi Johnston nude photo shoot.

Johnston works out three hours a day, six days a week, followed by cardio training and then rest in the sauna. It's a tough life, but someone's gotta do it.

Redneck

Whether he's hunting moose or sleeping with Sarah Palin's daughter, Levi Johnston does not mess around. The safety is definitely not on, if you know what we mean.

"I'm not trying to give him that body builder look. He's going to be more toned and defined," says Jones. "I'd like to see him with rounder and more muscular shoulders, with a fuller chest. We're going to firm his abs up,  give him a smaller waist."

Levi has also been milking his 15 minutes of fame to death paying bills by busting a nut in an ad for Wonderful Pistachios. Is this a great country, or what?

He may not have ever really been engaged to Bristol Palin, but Johnston is wholly committed to the training sessions, according to his fitness coordinator.

"I know this is something he wants to do and we're having fun training," says Jones. "We're very much  looking forward to revealing all his hard work!"

Do you wanna see Levi Johnston naked?

 

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Robert Pattinson isn't the only major celebrity covering a random magazine this month.

First Lady Michelle Obama is featured in the latest issue of Prevention, dishing on her diet and her work out routine.

"I love French fries, I like a good burger, and I like pie. And that's okay. I would be depressed if I felt I could never eat the things that I love," Obama says, raving about the White House's cooking staff.

She adds that she can treat herself to such fare because she wakes up at 4:30 a.m. each morning to exercise. The workouts vary between Pilates, cardio, stretching, and weights.

"I enjoy arm exercises because you can see what it's hitting," she said, citing the impressive biceps that have made such headlines over the last few months.

From fashion to dieting, there's little Michelle Obama is not an expert on.

Ironically, while her husband receives rebukes from some liberals for being too moderate, Michelle singles out moderation as the key to any healthy diet.

"I don't want my girls to be obsessed about food," she said. "We don't have a 'no junk food' rule – I just want them to think about their choices. When my older daughter asks, 'Can I have pie?' I'll say, 'Did you have it yesterday? Well, what do you think?' And she'll come to the conclusion that, 'You know, you're right, I shouldn't eat pie every night.'"

Wow. Exercise and a balanced diet? What a novel concept for weight loss! Call us crazy, but Michelle Obama might be a better role model in this area than Kim Kardashian.

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In order to lose weight, Kim Kardashian has totally sold out, signing on as a pitchwoman for QuickTrim, a ridiculous dieting cleanse.

Conversely, Jennifer Love Hewitt has taken an obvious path to weight loss. The actress, who caught fire for a bikini photo of herself last year, admits she's insecure like everyone else.

"I'm a girl, after all! For the most part, I'm happy with my body, but there are days when I'm like, 'Why is it so hard to fit into my jeans?' That's when I say to myself, 'I look this way because I'm supposed to. If we all looked the same, we'd be boring.'"

Taking Shape

When those thoughts arise, Hewitt told Shape the steps she takes to dieting:

Eat Lunch. "Not that long ago, I went to this celebrity luncheon, and I was the only person in the room eating. The other girls looked at me like I hadn't gotten the memo, but I was hungry! All of these girls were afraid that if someone saw them eating, it would be a disaster. It makes no sense at all."

Talk to Yourself. "In the morning, before I leave the house, I say five things I love about myself, like 'You have really pretty eyes.' That way I can go out into the world with that little bit of extra confidence. It's a feel-good protein shake in my back pocket in case someone messes with me that day."

Eat well... like boyfriend Jamie Kennedy! He's inspired me to improve my diet. He has a salad with every meal, plus lots of fruit, fish, and vegetables."

Exercise. "Last summer we were in Monaco. Every morning we ran for 40 minutes through the streets of Monte Carlo. It was an amazing way to see the city. Now when we travel, we try to explore the places by running."

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In the wake of getting dumped hard by Tony Romo on the eve of her 29th birthday, Jessica Simpson has decided on the way to get the sweetest revenge.

Or OK! Magazine has at least decided on it for her so it can sell magazines.

Either way, Jessica Simpson is looking to sweat it out at the gym. Yay!

“Right after Tony ended things, Jessica Simpson said, ‘I want my old body back,’” a friend of the singer reveals in the new issue of the celeb news tabloid.

“She went into her kitchen, got a trash bag and started to clear it out.”

Jessica Simpson Diet

Jessica Simpson's "sexy body is back," people!

Getting rid of the bad food isn’t the only way she’s slimming down. Jessica, who was locked out of Tony Romo's gated community, has taken refuge multiple times at her friend and celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak’s fitness center.

“Jessica is serious about getting her body back into fighting shape,” her friend reveals. “Working out is helping to give her focus and clear her head."

Adds this supposed Jessica source, "It’s better than sitting around moping, throwing pity parties with ice cream sundaes.” Well yeah. But would she?

The results are starting to show - Jessica, whose weight gain has often been the subject of celeb gossip, dropped 10 pounds in just the first 10 days!

"She doesn’t want to give anyone reason to not take her seriously,” says the pal.

This pal is apparently unaware that it will take more than dropping 10 pounds for us to start taking her seriously, and that her figure was probably not the reason she got dumped. Being pathetic, needy and annoying? More likely.

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Khloe Kardashian is a celebrity weight loss champion.

Sister Kim Kardashian may be the one with the famous figure, but Khloe is really koming into her own with a svelte new shape, having dropped 20 pounds.

Cellulite vs. Britney

How'd this krazy Kardashian lose all that weight?

"I try to do 30 minutes of cardio, mandatory," Khloe konfessed. "Obviously if I have more time, I want to do weights, but really cardio is what works for me because I'm bigger. Cardio leans me out, and still works muscle definition too."

To avoid a monotonous routine, she makes sure to switch hers up.

"I do different kinds everyday because I get really bored. I do boxing, I go on hikes, I do stairs," Khloe Kardashian says. "I'm always switching it up."

At diet and exercise, Khloe Kardashian krushes the kompetition.

Khloe - who will star with sister Kourtney in a new reality series, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami, this August - is more than happy with how far she's come.

"It's hard work, but it's worth it, and once you start seeing results, it really keeps you motivated," she says. "Now I actually get excited. I'm like 'I've got to start seeing arm definition soon,' so I go to the gym."

A for her dieting secrets?

"I eat whatever I want until noon. From noon on, I watch what I eat," says Khloe, who said she's launching a diet product called Quick Trim with Kim. Really.

"I only drink champagne. 100 calories in a glass, and I'm good."

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