Levi Johnston turns 20 today.

For a brief synopsis of Levi's short time on Earth, let's turn it over to his Wikipedia bio, because the facts are funnier than anything we could write:

Posted in: Levi Johnston

The lovely Ashley Dupre turns 25 today. Happy birthday to our personal favorite former political sex scandal participant and current Playboy cover girl!

She gets a bad rap, having been a high-priced hooker, but in Ash's defense, she was just trying to make a living, and didn't know who her clients were.

Posted in: Ashley Dupre

She might never win an Oscar, but Jessica Alba has a few things going for her:

Alba turns 29 today and we'd like to send the actress the very best of wishes. Won't you do the same?

Posted in: Jessica Alba

As Crystal Bowersox and company battle it out for the season nine crown, they should stop and give thanks to Kelly Clarkson.

If that singer had not gone on to a successful post-American Idol career, avoiding any major scandals in the process, it's likely that Idol would not be what it is today.

Posted in: Kelly Clarkson

Jesse James, you blew it man. Happy birthday, we guess. After the stuff you pulled the past few years, you don't deserve a cake, except maybe one to the face.

Here we thought Sandra Bullock's husband was a good guy. Sure, they came from different backgrounds, but they made it work and we were happy for them.

Posted in: Jesse James

A pair of celebrities that have accomplished nothing in life celebrate a birthday today.

First, we've already wished the best to Suri Cruise, who is now four years old. A major star in her own right, Tom and Katie's daughter has really done nothing except look cute for awhile now.

Posted in: Kourtney Kardashian

It seems like only yesterday that we doubted Suri Cruise even existed, figuring the spawn of TomKat may have instead been an elaborate Scientology hoax.

Our mistake - and our cutest one ever.

Posted in: Celebrity Babies