by Hilton Hater at . Comments

In honor of Simon Cowell turning 51 today, we ask readers to refrain from sending birthday wishes and instead make a heartfelt plea to the music guru:

Return to American Idol! Please!

Jennifer Lopez actually might fit in well on the judging panel, and Steven Tyler could be entertaining. But Simon made this show and will be missed incredibly on season 10. At least fans can still watch him on X-Factor. Below, we honor the most honest man in the business with a photo montage:

AI Crew
  • Harris on Idol
  • Cowell

Another American Idol alum celebrates a birthday today: Taylor Hicks is 43. He could use your best wishes.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Playboy model / sex tape star Karissa Shannon celebrated her 21st birthday yesterday with a champagne-soaked party in NYC. The co-guest of honor at the bash?

Twin sister Kristina Shannon, of course!

Karissa looked so delighted when boyfriend Sam Jones III gave a pair of Louboutins which cost $1,495 - he forgot to take the price tag off, what are the odds?

  • Karissa and Sam Jones III
  • Shannon Twins Birthday Photo

Karissa Shannon turned 21 last night, as did Kristina Shannon. Sam Jones III? He was just there for the photo ops. [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

With proceeds from the Karissa Shannon sex tape, Sam can afford all sorts of fancy gifts for his girl, who became a D-list name in 2008, thanks to Hugh Hefner.

The twins were two of Hef's three hoes for a bit. Yet despite the "girlfriend" status, Karissa claims the relationship was "more for fun" and the chance to be on TV.

Wow, you mean a couple of 19-year-old twins weren't just itching for the chance to double-team an octogenarian? Shocker. Anyway, happy birthday girls!

  • A Shannon Twins Pic
  • Shannon Twins Make Out!
  • Karissa and Kristina Shannon, Playboy
  • The Shannon Twins, Playboy Pic
  • Oh, Oh, Bama!
  • The Viagra Train
  • Hef and his Twins

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Ready to send whatever the opposite of birthday wishes would be, THG readers?

Grating, publicity-hungry reality star Michaele Salahi turns 45 today. In celebration, Bravo actually aired the episode of The Real Housewives of D.C. last night in which this pathetic woman and her husband crashed a White House party.

Talk about dangerous horse play!

Lots of Horse Play
  • Michaele on a Horse
  • Michaele Photo

Meanwhile, Michaele confirmed a few weeks ago that she has equally scary plans for her birthday... suit. Look for her naked body to appear in Playboy later this year. Yech.

by Free Britney at . Comments

Randy Quaid! Our man! Happy birthday, buddy. We'd invite you over to celebrate, but you'd probably squat at THG headquarters for weeks after, so ... rain check?

Just kidding. Not really. He and his wife were arrested for burglary at their old house. They also frequent inns and then peace out without paying. It's a little weird.

The actor turns 59 on this first day of October, and we eagerly await the next insane story he and Evi Quaid provide for us. Keep on livin' the good life, Randall ...

Lookin' good, Randy Quaid, and a little nuts. Just how we love ya.

  • Randy Quaid Mugshot
  • Randy Quaid Booking Photo
  • Randy Quaid Mug Shot

by Free Britney at . Comments

Lil Wayne celebrates his 28th birthday today in style. Rikers Island style.

As he sits in the New York jail, doing time for weapons charges, all is not lost. The rapper is releasing his eighth album, I Am Not a Human Being, today!

"My family, I like to do things for him for his birthday, you hear me?" rapper and frequent Weezy collaborator Birdman said, making moderate to no sense.

Wayne after pleading guilty to felony gun charges last year.

Anyway, happy birthday, Lil Wayne! If you can go 39 more days without carving a crude shank out of a toothbrush, you can come home November 4! Woo!

"We all excited," Birdman said. "He's happy. He wanna get out that place. That ain't no place for him to be." Indeed. Surely his many baby mamas concur.

Click to enlarge some Weezy pics in honor of the big day here:

Four By Four

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Considering all he's accomplished in life, it's incredible that Nick Jonas only turns 18 today.

The singer is one-third of a successful musical group; has released a solo album; is considering a Presidential campaign; and has dated both Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez.

Now, he can purchase tobacco and adult movie legally, while voting in the mid-term elections! It's an exciting day for the cute artist, as we honor him with the following photo montage and ask readers to send in their birthday wishes...

Go Jo Bros!
  • Intense, Cute Stare
  • Football Cutie
Jonas Picture

by Free Britney at . Comments

Heidi Montag marked her 24th plastic surgery birthday yesterday.

She and husband Spencer Pratt paid a visit to the zoo in Santa Barbara, Calif., and for a "divorcing couple," it sure looks like the gruesome twosome is happy.

It's almost like they never planned on actually divorcing. Crazy.

Zoo Animals

Speidi tours their future home. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

Maybe being back among his primitive kind just puts Spencer in a pleasant mood? Who knows. In any case, it looks like these two are back to their old selves.

Well, G-cup boobs aside. Here's a little photo tribute to Heidi Montag we put together in honor of her special day! Click to enlarge the nauseating pics below!

  • Heidi and Spencer at the Zoo
  • Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag Look On
  • Gross Speidi
  • Smokin' Speidi
  • 2010 Heidi
  • Heidi and Spencer at the Zoo
  • Horse Face
  • Heidi Playboy Picture

by Free Britney at . Comments

Grammy-winning singer Amy Winehouse has made it to age 27. It's a feat we're a little surprised at to be honest, but in a good way. Happy birthday, Ames!

Seriously, if you had Wino in your office celebrity death pool (come on, you know there is one), you probably had pretty good odds. But we're glad you lost.

So give it up for the train wreck, once-and-future Mrs. Blake Fielder-Civil on this 14th of September. We're still holding our breath for that new album, girl!

  • Lovely Amy Winehouse Photo
  • Rehab Regular
  • Young Amy Winehouse
  • Devastated Amy Winehouse
  • Amy Wino Housed
  • Blake Fielder-Civil and Amy Winehouse Kissing
  • Smokin' Wino
  • Amy Winehouse Playing Guitar

by Free Britney at . Comments

Sean Preston Federline turns five today. Five! Britney Spears really has a five-year-old son! And a four-year-old son (Jayden James' birthday was Sunday)!

Kids. They grow up so fast.

Here's wishing both of Britney Spears' lil' rascals happy birthdays. Hopefully the big celebrations help take her mind off the Fernando Flores allegations!

Those were the days.

Say what you will about her, Britney and her sons are adorable together. She's really come a long way. Click to enlarge a bunch of additional Sean Preston pictures ...

Sean Preston and Jayden James Pic

by Free Britney at . Comments

Britney Spears has had quite a week, thanks to the sexual harassment allegations of Fernando Flores. Today marks a joyous occasion for the star, however:

Jayden James turns four!

Man. It seems like just yesterday that JJ was born to Britney and Kevin Federline, and we erroneously reported that his name was Sutton Pierce Federline.

That was 2006, though, and we were idiots. Sorry, dog. Anyway, give it up for the lil' fella and click to enlarge ADORABLE Jayden James pictures below ...

  • Jayden and His Mom
  • Britney n' Jayden
  • Britney Spears' Elle Cover
  • Spider-Woman
  • Sean Preston, Jayden James, Britney Spears
  • Lucky Jayden
  • Brit Brit and J

Say what you will about her, Britney and her son are cute together. The celebration continues Tuesday with Sean Preston's fifth birthday, too. Team Britney!