Ready to send whatever the opposite of birthday wishes would be, THG readers?

Grating, publicity-hungry reality star Michaele Salahi turns 45 today. In celebration, Bravo actually aired the episode of The Real Housewives of D.C. last night in which this pathetic woman and her husband crashed a White House party.

Posted in: Michaele Salahi

Randy Quaid! Our man! Happy birthday, buddy. We'd invite you over to celebrate, but you'd probably squat at THG headquarters for weeks after, so ... rain check?

Just kidding. Not really. He and his wife were arrested for burglary at their old house. They also frequent inns and then peace out without paying. It's a little weird.

Posted in: Celebrity Birthdays

Lil Wayne celebrates his 28th birthday today in style. Rikers Island style.

As he sits in the New York jail, doing time for weapons charges, all is not lost. The rapper is releasing his eighth album, I Am Not a Human Being, today!

Posted in: Lil Wayne

Heidi Montag marked her 24th plastic surgery birthday yesterday.

She and husband Spencer Pratt paid a visit to the zoo in Santa Barbara, Calif., and for a "divorcing couple," it sure looks like the gruesome twosome is happy.

Posted in: Heidi Montag

Grammy-winning singer Amy Winehouse has made it to age 27. It's a feat we're a little surprised at to be honest, but in a good way. Happy birthday, Ames!

Seriously, if you had Wino in your office celebrity death pool (come on, you know there is one), you probably had pretty good odds. But we're glad you lost.

Posted in: Amy Winehouse

Charlie Sheen turns 45 years old today.

Sadly, that number does not also reflect the number of days this actor was forced to spend behind bars for his December 2009 confrontation with wife Brooke Mueller.

Posted in: Charlie Sheen