by Free Britney at . Comments

Jessica Simpson turns 34 years old on this 10th of July.

She certainly has a lot to celebrate, having just married Eric Johnson, the father of her beautiful baby daughter (Maxwell Drew), and son (Ace Knute).

WE have a lot to celebrate as well. Namely this gallery:

Jessica Simpson Bikini Photo
Okay yeah. That's one insane shot of Jessica Simpson's boobs.

There was a time when Jessica Simpson produced multi-platinum pop albums. Now she's producing babies, tweets, clothing and weight loss regimens mostly.

It's a living, and a very, very good one at that for our girl.

Her billion-dollar fashion empire and two kiddos keep her quite busy, but still relatively low-key when she chooses. And when she embraces the spotlight?

Jessica Simpson wedding photos still fetch hundreds of thousands of dollars from magazines and inspire great interest online. Not a bad balance.

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As Prince George prepares to celebrate his first birthday, he and mother Kate Middleton are featured in Vanity Fair's August cover story by Katie Nicholl.

Needless to say, the royal family looks picture perfect.

Reporting on how the boy upended Prince William’s and Kate’s lives, Nicholl gives a behind-the-scenes look at George’s first year. Excerpts below ...

Kate Middleton, Prince George Vanity Fair Cover

On George's appetite: While George behaved well in his first few public appearances, he often cried loudly and frequently, and did not sleep through the night.

The baby prince, still breastfeeding, was permanently hungry ... only in the new year, when Kate introduced solids, did George finally sleep through the night.

On their new nanny: Spanish-born Maria Teresa Turrion Borallo spent a week bonding with George at Kate’s family home in March [with] the Middleton grandparents.

Meanwhile, Will and Kate jetted off to the Maldives for a second honeymoon. They caught flak for leaving him behind, but on another occasion, did not ...

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Penelope Scotland Disick turns two years old today - and we really wish we could present this child with the best gift possible:

A puppy day away from her annoying family.

Alas, that would be against the law, so we'll instead just send along our best wishes to this adorable toddler, who recently made the AWWW-inspiring choice to crawl over Kourtney Kardashian's baby bump.

That's right, Penelope will soon be a big sister to a little boy or girl, as Kourtney and Scott Disick are expecting their third child before the year is over.

Fortunately, as seen in one of the images below, Penelope has experiencing hanging with cousin North West, who turned a year old last month. So we're fully confident she'll function as a successful older sibling.

We're also very sorry for including this opening image in Penelope's photo montage, but it took place exactly two years ago today. How could it NOT kick off a gallery in honor of the birthday girl?!?

Penelope is Born!
Penelope Scotland Disick enters the world is this very intimate photo. It's not really safe for work... or anywhere.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Jaden Smith turns 16 years old today and, in honor of the occasion, THG has gotten the best possible gift for this young actor:

We're gonna pretend as if After Earth next existed. Seriously. Gone! Poof! Consider it a film that was never, ever made.

We suppose we would also present Jaden with some snakes... but that's just creepy.

The only son of Will and Jada supposedly loves those animals, but he's insistent that he does NOT love Kylie Jenner. Despite being seen out often with the young reality star, both sides of that relationship claim they are only friends.

As another gift to Smith on this special, day we'll go ahead and believe him for a change.

We'll also post these 16 photos in honor of his 16th birthday:

Jaden Smith
Jaden Smith is now 16 years old. Look out, other drivers in America!

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The United States may have lost to Belgium in the World Cup this week, but that defeat should not put a damper on the nation's 238th birthday.

Why? Why should you go out and celebrate July 4 like a proud champion today?

Because this is the home of Stone Cold Steve Austin. And Kate Upton. And Channing Tatum. And not the native country of Justin Bieber.

Because of peanut butter and jelly and an abundance of pizza and the voice of Morgan Freeman and, of course, our brave men and women fighting overseas.

Below, we've listed 238 17 reasons why America rules - or, to put it even more bluntly, why you should hold your head high this week and shout AMERICA, F-CK YEAH!

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Tom Cruise has gone from the top of Oprah's couch to the Edge of Tomorrow.

The actor, though still considered totally crazy by many of the world's population, starred in his best-reviewed film in years this summer, cementing his place as an all-time great.

Love him, hate him or think he's scouring the church of Scientology for his next young wife, there's no denying Cruise's box office success. Nor is there any denying the following fact:

He turns 52 years old today!

Try to decide whether you'd rather do Cruise or Brad Pitt and then flip through 52 photos of the birthday boy now!

Tom Cruise in Japan
Tom Cruise is always one to acknowledge his fans. He expresses gratitude for them here during a visit to Japan.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

Put the women and children to bed early tonight, folks.

Lindsay Lohan is celebrating a birthday.

The troubled celebrity, who posts photos of herself with champagne in her underwear on just a regular weekday, is now 28 years old.

And although we joke about all the ways in which poor Lindsay has lost her way, she's actually remained relatively scandal-free of late. Except for that whole weird sex list thing.

Might Lohan make a legitimate acting comeback at some point? Sadly for fans of Mean Girls and The Parent Trap, that possibility seems VERY unlikely.

But might she avoid yet another stint in rehab and/or another DUI arrest? Let's hope so, folks. Happy 28th birthday, Lindsay Lohan!

Lindsay Lohan: Teeth
This is not exactly Lindsay Lohan at her best. Then again, when was the last time we saw Lindsay Lohan at her best?

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

She may be in the process of a divorce.

She may be dating someone unapproved by her family.

But Khloe Kardashian has a reason to celebrate today: she's 30 years old!!!

The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star marks the milestone age while dating rapper French Montana, mostly against her the wishes of her family.

But do you think Khloe cares about that? No, she doesn't give a f-ck, people.

Khloe is also under fire for recently posing in a Native American headdress at her niece's birthday party, with many calling the celebrity out for being insensitive.

But, hey, today is not the time for criticism. It's a day for fans to submit their warmest wishes to Khloe on this most special occasion. Join us in doing so now.

Khloe Kardashian Green Screen Pic
Khloe Kardashian chills here in front of a green screen. She is now the big 3-0!!!

by Free Britney at . Comments

Fans took to Twitter on June 16 to celebrate what would have been the 43rd birthday of Tupac Shakur, who was shot and killed in Las Vegas in 1996.

To this day, his murder remains unsolved - for good reason, according to Suge Knight and others who claim Tupac is alive - but his legacy lives on.

Tupac Shakur, Mother
Tupac Shakur poses here with his mother. The rapper was gunned down at the age of 25.

Tupac's music and life continue to inspire the masses and he has become something of a legend in spite of - or perhaps because of - his premature death.

Born June 16, 1971, in East Harlem, 2Pac was also a poet and an actor, a man of surprising depth and talent who transcended popular culture.

He's gone but not forgotten ... save for the occasional Tupac hologram performing at Coachella or Broadway show (Holler If Ya Hear Me) based on him.

A biopic by filmmaker John Singleton is also in the works, which should be awesome for the West Coast hip hop pioneer (of East Coast origins).

Music lovers are paying tribute to Tupac on Twitter today with the hashtag #HappyBirthdayTupac. We wish his family and friends the very best.

Here's a look at other rappers who rank among the smartest in the game:

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

The most famous baby on the planet named after a direction celebrates her first birthday today.

North West, adorable spawn of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian is now a full year old, able to finally hold her little head up high after her parents got married a few weeks ago in Italy.

And while her mom may own her fame to a sex tape and while her dad may own the biggest ego in Hollywood, neither of these strikes should be held against North herself.

She can't control the identity of her parents... and she's REALLY cute!

On stop for a moment on this Father's Day and help us pay tribute to a young daughter. Send your best wishes to Nori and relive her most adorable poses below:

Morning, Kim and Nori!
It's Kim Kardashian and daughter Nori! The former posted this photo online with a simple caption: Good morning.

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