Brooke Hogan makes it way too easy.
From one fashion nightmare to another, the daughter of Hulk Hogan claims she has no interest in posing naked for Playboy... yet also appears to have no interest in properly wearing clothes.
What do you make of the latest disaster? Didn't hot pants, let alone their shorter cousins, go out of style a decade ago?
Brooke Hogan's booty-hugging shorts are...
At 12:30 this morning, following 166 days behind bars, Nick Bollea was released from prison... and instantly attacked by a wildebeest.
Just kidding. That's actually Nick's excited sister, Brooke Hogan.
The son of Hulk and Linda Hogan had been serving eight months in jail after pleading no contest to reckless driving charges stemming from an August 2007 accident that left best friend John Graziano in critical condition.
The tattoo on Brooke Hogan's lower back says it all: Redemption.
Finally, some good news for Brooke Hogan.
Following a summer that saw her mom date a 19-year old, her father date a lookalike and staff members from The Hollywood Gossip wonder if she got dressed in the dark, Brooke can at least welcome her brother home; Nick Hogan gets released from prison tomorrow.
"I can't even tell you, as a sister, how exciting this is for me!" Brooke wrote on her MySpace Celebrity page. "Nick and I are like best friends...and I can't believe how long I've gone without him."
She then went on to address those that have had negative things to say about the situation:
"I understand people have their own opinion, but most of the people that come up to us don't know the whole story or how much we really, really love John [the victim]. It's really sad because we're not bad people. We're just going through a really hard time, and so is John's family.
"All I ask is, instead of making this harder and putting evil things out there, you pray for John, and for us, and leave words of inspiration. John is gonna walk out of that hospital and things will be OK again. I know his strength, and I know he can do it with our prayers."
Brooke Hogan eventually posing naked for Playboy is easier to predict than Shenae Grimes skipping dinner tonight.
Still, fans will need to wait to witness this blessed event, as a representative for Hogan says her client has turned down an offer from the magazine. For now.
"Brooke just didn’t feel that it was the right time," the rep told Us Weekly. "It's not out of the question for the future, but we'll have to see."
Will Brooke Hogan eventually join the likes of Amy Leigh Andrews as a Playboy model? Come on. Is Dina Lohan a spawn of Satan?
Welcome, celebrity gossip fans around the world, to The Hollywood Gossip Caption Contest, our Friday tradition. Who won this week's Caption Contest?
It's a tough call, with all the obvious material Brooke Hogan provides. But we chose keltie. Congratulations! Thanks to all, and good luck again this week!
Jennifer McDaniel stole my favorite man!
Brooke Hogan was on the Howard Stern show yesterday morning.
And for someone who claims to "know best" in her reality TV show, the atrocious singer and dresser may wanna read up on her politics. Among other issues discussed, Brooke said she didn't know who the current Vice President of the United States is.
Hey, we wish Dick Cheney didn't exist, too, but we're pretty sure just forgetting his name won't do the trick.
Here are other topics Stern and Hogan touched on:
Her father's girlfriend, Jennifer McDaniel: The two often hang out, McDaniel is “really nice,” and she looks nothing like Brooke in person. Yeah, right.
Her mom, who’s currently dating a 19-year classmate of Brooke's: She hasn’t spoken to her mom since May and asks about Charley Hill: “Why would a 19-year old boy be interested in a 48-year old woman?”
Her giant breasts: Brooke claims they are real - and a size D.
On shaving her private parts:“That’s like a little lasagna right there. You don’t want that out.” Well, okay then.
On anal sex: Her butt is “exit only." (We'd also wager money that the world will see it in Playboy one day.)
At least Brooke Hogan doesn't have taste like her father's.
Otherwise, the atrocious singer would be dating a balding steroid freak with a bandana.
Instead, Brooke is dating.... this guy. Does anyone know who it is?
Brooke Hogan looks to be more ripped - and possibly more drunk, what's up with her eyes? - than her new boyfriend.
** UPDATE: Astute celebrity gossip followers have informed us this is Brooke's gay roommate, not her boyfriend. Thanks for chiming in, everyone!
This is getting ridiculous.
Hulk Hogan's daughter and his new girlfriend were spotted in a parking lot this week, standing side by side, barely distinguishable from one another.
We think we know which is the awful singer Hulk and ex-wife Linda sired, as opposed to the random blonde the former WWE star is having sex with. But it's difficult to tell, isn't?
Study the photo below and see if you can pick out Brooke Hogan from Jennifer McDaniel...
Follow this article's jump now to learn which busty blonde is which...
We really hope Jennifer McDaniel doesn't scream out "Oh, Daddy!" during sex with Hulk Hogan.
Considering how similar she looks to the former wrestler's daughter, such an orgasmic declaration might really throw off his performance.
In the picture below, Hulk holds girlfriend McDaniel in his arms, while Brooke Hogan stands nearby. Or is it the other way around? It's hard to tell.
Granted, the headline above implies that Brooke Hogan once had it.
Still, the awful singer and reality TV star has reached a new low in her attempts at attention.
Brooke posted a pair of pretend mug shots on her MySpace account this week, holding a sign in one of them that claims she'd rather be with her brother in jail. We assume fashion sense is a crime in some states, so this may still be plausible.
After publishing the photos above and below, Brooke acted as though they garnered a lot of press, while proceeding to pretend as though that was not her intention. Here's her latest blog entry:
LOL poor press and clingy gossip lovers....
It's so funny that the smallest thing I do can jack up everyones day...LOL sorry I ruined your little gossip world today people.........or did I give you something else interesting to cling to for your boring worlds? :) Stay tuned! I might go shave my eyebrows tomorrow! Lets see what other fun things I can think of...um.... don't you have a life to live? I know I do! Peace!
Facing a difficult family life, Brooke Hogan is crying out for attention.
