Britney Spears
Gossip (Page 63)

Kevin Federline's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, is (K-)fed up with Britney Spears - and TMZ reports that he will be seeking sanctions against her.

Sources connected with the case say Kaplan is furious that Britney was too "sick" or "anxious" to give a deposition Monday - but not too sick to go party that evening.

Plans are underway for Kaplan to ask Commissioner Scott Gordon to bar Britney Spears from asking for anything more than she already has under court order.

This is - rather amazingly - the fourth (!) time Britney Spears has not shown up for her mandatory court deposition, and Kaplan feels the train wreck should not be allowed to have her pork rinds and them too. Well, so to speak.

In other words, she should not be allowed into court to ask for custody if she won't sit for a deposition to determine if she really is a fit parent.

Mark Vincent Kaplan could ask for other penalties, including attorney's fees. He could also ask that Spears be held in contempt, but he probably won't go there. Yet.

Tyra Banks claims she has never bashed Britney Spears.

The Hollywood Gossip makes no claims of any such kind.

The controversy involving Tyra Banks? Many celebrity gossip and news sources are abuzz with word that, during a recent private party, she uttered this quote:

"[Britney Spears] should just go ahead and kill herself after the album and go out like Marilyn [Monroe], very grand. She should have done it after the last album."

Ouch! We know the Anna Nicole Smith comparisons are reasonable, but just kill herself, Tyra? That's harsh! But the America's Next Top Model host issued the following statement Thursday, denying she said that $h!t:

"Britney Spears is a friend and we correspond with each other. These alleged statements attributed to me are completely false."

Britney Spears and Tyra Banks. Both of these women are a little crazy, but only one has demonstrated a propensity for wearing no underwear. Our point? We're not sure.

No word, however, if Banks would approve of Britney Spears playing the Virgin Mary - as reported in some new movie - or Britney's general train wreck status.

No word on how Tyra feels about Janice Dickinson calling her fat, either.

Sam Lutfi has been sighted!

Well, at least he's been heard from.

After a week of silence following an Us Weekly report that he may be an Al Qaeda terrorist detailing his shady past, Britney Spears' confidant has issued a statement regarding the singer's most recent ridiculous antics.

Spears did not show at a deposition in her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline, his attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, said yesterday.

The reason? She was really anxious, y'all!

Sam Lutfi, Spears' controversial pal who was apparently with her, told E! Online the following: "We got up and got ready to go. Her attorneys came to pick her up, but when she saw the media frenzy outside her house, her anxiety skyrocketed."

As we said yesterday, this doesn't seem to stop her from going out whenever she wants a Frappuccino, but that's neither here nor there.

Britney Spears is seen in tears a lot more often than she's seen in pants.

Mark Vincent Kaplan said in response: "Approximately 10 minutes after her council appeared they were notified that due to an illness or medical condition, Ms. Spears would not appear today and consequently the deposition is not going forward."

He didn't say when the next deposition would happen.

Britney Spears was supposed to show at Kaplan's Los Angeles office at 10 a.m. to face a barrage of questions, including her past drug and alcohol use and her alleged failure to follow court orders. But, y'know, the anxiety gone come. Dang it.

Due in court as of 10 a.m. PST / 1 p.m. EST today, Britney Spears has, it appears, elected to defy the legal system and not show up at her deposition.

The reason? There are too many damn people outside her house.

We're serious. A source in direct contact with Britney tells TMZ:

"There's a million people outside of her house. She can see all the other madness. The anxiety is making her sick. It's just too crazy."

This morning, Britney Spears became a fugitive from justice. Sort of.

We don't doubt that's true, but we do doubt that it will fly with a court of law. After all, it doesn't stop Britney Spears from leaving the house to go joyriding around and visiting Starbucks in no underwear every single day, now does it?

According to Kevin Federline's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan, who commented on the matter just minutes ago, Britney Spears has some sort of condition or illness that prevented her from showing up to the mandatory deposition.

In other words, she's bonkers! More details as the story develops ...

Britney Spears will finally take the oath and have her deposition taken in her ongoing custody battle - and it's happening today at 10 a.m. PST.

Sources say Britney will roll to the Los Angeles offices of K-Fed's lawyer, Mark Vincent Kaplan. He will depose Britney and ask all her kinds of fun stuff.

Spears' legal team, which includes Anne Kiley and Tara Scott, will be there to raise objections - and expect lots of them. Hopefully they throw in one about her display of no underwear in public Monday night. Objection, Your Honor!

Britney Spears will take time out of her extremely busy schedule of driving around aimlessly and occasionally shoplifting from stores to give a deposition.

Sources say the deposition of Britney Spears could last days. Mark Vincent Kaplan has been trying to get Brit under oath for nearly a year and he'll be asking a range of questions relating to child custody and, possibly, spousal support.

Stay tuned.

Decked out in a pink wig, a black, lacy frock and no underwear, Britney Spears did her usual thing Monday night - driving around aimlessly for hours.

First she went to Starbucks. Then, the train wreck made an illegal U-Turn to hit up the porn store where she recently shoplifted. But Britney didn't end up going inside. Instead, whilst biting her fingernails, Spears stayed in the parking lot, telling celebrity news photographers she was lost before driving back home.

Naturally. This story is pretty pointless, but at some point amidst the nightly Britney Spears attention whoring circus, some interesting photos emerged ...

As usual, she's wearing no pants. Britney Spears in no underwear is a frequent occurrence. What makes this particular pic stand out is the redness of that ass!

It looks like Britney either cranked up the heat in the ol' tanning booth (or fell asleep in there, she's not smart) or some guy has been spanking that ass. Hard.

Seriously, you've gotta really be going to town on that thing to turn it red like that. Hope J.R. Rotem gives us a blow-by-blow account in a future interview.

Either way, this is just more proof that if you follow this nut around long enough, photos of the Spears in no underwear will ultimately present themselves.

Whenever Britney Spears was photographed or something happened with her, Sam Lutfi was there. That was the pattern for a good couple of months.

Recently, he sat next to Spears on her 26th birthday on December 2. He went shopping with her at Target on November 28 and the two days before that.

Britney Spears and Sam Lutfi seemed inseparable â€" until last week, that is, when certain celebrity gossip publications exposed details of his past.

Sam Lutfi hasn't been seen with Britney Spears since December 3.

The man who orchestrated Spears' birthday party, denied the recent J.R. Rotem pregnancy rumors, and spoke on her behalf after she lost custody of Jayden and Sean is off the map â€" perhaps a result of magazines' outing of his seedy past?

After all, Osama Lutfi (really, that's his name) has a questionable career at best, and has had two restraining orders against him for violent verbal and physical attacks. He has also used multiple aliases in recent years.

Have we seen the last of Osama, and where did he go? We don't have any kind of evidence for this theory, but a hunch tells us Chuck Norris may have taken him out.

Once the hottest thing on Earth, Britney Spears will reportedly be replaced by a body double for an upcoming spread of nude photos in Blender Magazine.

Apparently, the quote-unquote music publication thinks the train wreck is "too out of shape" and plans to replace Britney Spears' naked body with a double.

The shoot will recreate one of the last photos taken of Marilyn Monroe. The magazine plans to use a "more in shape" model in place of Britney Spears.

Two things stand out in this nearly-nude Britney Spears picture. One, she was real hot five years ago. Two, she's actually wearing underwear, unlike today!

An advertisement in the magazine reads...

"We are casting for a Britney Spears body double. You must have shoulder length medium blonde hair. This person must also be in shape! 5'2" to 5'5". This will be a take off of a Bert Stern photograph of Marilyn Monroe in bed, from the last shoot before her death. Your face will not be shown in the final photo."

It is a sad day when a Britney Spears nude photo spread must require a body double. Almost as sad as when Lindsay Lohan and Riley Giles broke up.

Meanwhile, Britney posed for a family portrait with sons Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1, but the photographer reportedly sold the pic to the press.

The struggling singer posed in private for the personal photographs - believed to be used for her Christmas cards - but celebrity photographer Dani Brubaker sent out a press release bragging about the photo shoot.

"She's just another person in a long line of people trying to profit from Britney Spears," said a Spears source to MSNBC, noting that this was a legal move because "Britney had no confidentiality agreement in place."

A few weeks after her infamous porn shop thievery, the incomparable Britney Spears continued her five finger discount shopping Friday.

As we discussed over the weekend, the alleged singer made a pit stop at a Sherman Oaks, Calif., Chevron gas station, where she bogarted a lighter.

"I stole something," Britney Spears sarcastically told photographers as she walked out of the station with a $1.39 lighter. "Ohhhh, I'm bad!"

Manager Sham Bahia laughed off the incident.

"If I see her, I'm going to ask for the money," he told Us Weekly. "She's a thief. I don't know if she really wanted the lighter or just wanted to make a story."

The goods and services Britney Spears wants, Britney Spears takes.

Alas, Britney Spears was left off the hook when a someone returned to the scene of the crime Saturday and paid the man for it. No, it wasn't Osama Lutfi tapping into his vast coffers, but rather someone from a celebrity photo agency.

"[The manager] didn't want me to pay for it at first," said photographer Shane Partridge. "I told him it was no bother. I just felt like I should, you know?"

We know. Perhaps, in the future, maybe Britney should be a little more grateful to the celebrity news photographers who frequently come to her rescue.

Well, at least in terms of Internet traffic.

Britney Spears calculated trajectory to mega-fame went off the rails this year, generating tremendous web interest. For this reason, she was the most commonly searched for "musician" this year, beating out Beyonce, according to Yahoo!

Perhaps Britney could have learned something from Stacy Ferguson, a.k.a. Fergie (#3), who suffered her personal downfalls in relative obscurity first before hitting it big and handling herself well on the confessional circuit later.

Here's the full Yahoo! Top Ten:

1. Britney Spears (we know she has not looked anything like this in many moons, but she's still technically a singer)
2. Beyonce Knowles
3. Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson
4. Akon
5. Avril Lavigne
6. Hilary Duff
7. Hannah Montana
8. Shakira
9. Chris Brown
10. Ciara

You'll notice that only two men - Akon and Chris Brown - made the list, as did somebody's alter ego. That's right, Hannah Montana is really a character played by Miley Cyrus.

While Miley Cyrus does have her own sizable search recognizance (#23), Hannah Montana hysteria proved far more relentless to browsers. It's also nice to see Hilary Duff up there as well. Who doesn't love Hilary Duff, honestly?