by Free Britney at . Comments

Lena Dunham's much (or at least sort of) anticipated book Not That Kind of Girl has been released, and it's everything you though it would be and then some.

Whether that's a good thing or not? We leave that to you to decide.

Mmm. Delish

When I was nine, I wrote a vow of celibacy on a piece of paper and ate it.

When I was nine, I wrote a vow of celibacy on a piece of paper and ate it.

Not That Kind of Girl is vintage Dunham, cover to cover.

The 28-year-old Girls creator is chock full of candid, thoughtful, moving and full-on ridiculous observations, anecdotes and stories you won't even believe.

And yet you can easily believe them, because it's her.

She's paradoxical like that, Lena. Fans of Dunham should definitely pick up a copy and savor it in its entirety, because we can't do it justice here.

We can, however, compile some of its "WTF" quotes and put them into gallery form, because if there were ever a person who lent herself to that ...

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by Free Britney at . Comments

When it comes to books, particularly of the children's variety, context is everything ... or nothing. These excerpts are frankly very difficult to explain.

Check out 17 unintentionally disturbing moments in kids' books below:

A Helpful Anatomy Lesson
A helpful and not at all gross anatomy lesson, courtesy of two cute elephants.

Some things don't need to be illustrated for the younger set. Other stories would've been more or less fine if it weren't for an unfortunately chosen object or phrase.

Whether it's the lens through which you view a photo or in the sense that something was written in a bygone era before words took on new meanings, it's all about the context.

In these cases, context, or lack thereof, leads to some classic imagery, whether it's from urinating elephants, foul-mouthed animals or demonic children.

Intentions may be pure, but things can get a little awkward when you try to explain certain things to kids, or do so in inadvertently frightening ways.

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by Tyler Johnson at . Comments

Back in June, Kylie and Kendall Jenner wrote a book. Yes, you read that right. And no, this isn't like Kim Kardsahian's book of selfies.

This is a work of fiction with actual words and a plot. To be fair, the girls worked with a ghostwriter, but the parties involved swear they played an active part in the writing process and that the premise of the book was all KJ and KJ's idea.

Kylie and Kendall Jenner at a Book Signing

Which could have something to do with why it's been a total disaster.

The critical response to Rebels: City of Indra was overwhelmingly negative, but that's not exactly a huge surprise. (Did we mention it was written by Kylie and Kendall Jenner?)

What did come as a big shock to the book's publisher is the fact that despite the two mega-famous names on the cover, the book has been an absolute flop in terms of sales.

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by Tattle Taylor at . Comments

"Read to your children," they said!

"It's good for them," they said!

And then you went to the bookstore and there, on the shelf, were children's books titled You Can't Be an Astronaut and Who Cares About the Elderly?

Yes, those are some of the shockingly and hilariously real titles we discovered when researching books you can actually buy for your little ones:

Aiming Low
Meh, you don't need to be an astronaut when you grow up, kid! You can be a garbage man instead.

So those are probably NOT the books you'd want to buy and read to your young ones when given a choice. Probably. Go the F--k to Sleep, however...

Bad ideas for children's books abound, it seems, as do lines of literature that, when lacking context, sound more than a little like porn than they should.

What are we REALLY teaching our kids there, Dick? Huh?

Dear Celebrity Parents, don't read these 41 amusing, but inappropriate children's books to your kids, okay? Looking at you, Kim Kardashian. Looking at you.

by Hilton Hater at . Comments

When is a Kim Kardashian selfie book NOT the strangest piece of book news in a given week?

When Penguin Publishing releasing a special Charlie and the Chocolate Factory cover in honor of that book's 50th anniversary... and it looks like this:

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Cover

Meant to evoke spoiled character Veruca Salt, the photo is drawing criticism across the Internet for seemingly being at odds with the story’s tone and plot.

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Kate Gosselin headlined the author byline on the reality TV mom's book Multiple Blessings, but Beth Carson says she in fact wrote it. Every single word.

Carson, Gosselin's former close friend, admits it was Kate’s story - it's her life with her sextuplets, of course - but insists she did 100 percent of the writing.

For a year. Only to watch Kate turn around and take the credit.

  • MULTIPLE BLES8INGS
  • Kate Gosselin Can't Look

“Kate and I would sit around feeding our babies, and Kate would talk. I would take notes and made it into a book,” Carson told Radar of the cleverly-titled MULTIPLE BLES8INGS.

Because they have 8 kids! Jon & Kate Plus 8! GENIUS!

"I wrote the entire thing. Kate didn’t write one word of the book. I wanted to take nothing away from the fact that it was her story, but I put a lot of work into it.”

Which was fine, until it was time to promote the book, and Kate shunned her.

“That was sort of the last straw, it was a smack in the face,” said Carson, who says she pratially blames TV audiences for creating this monster.

Still ... the woman was the absolute worst for effing her over so hard.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

At the time, the Kim Kardashian sex tape made perfect sense.

Back then, where else could you see Kim Kardashian nude? What did you really know about this large-breasted brunette? Getting rammed by Ray J on camera was a logical big first step into the celebrity gossip world.

But E! News now confirms that Rizzoli imprint Universe will come out with a book titled “Selfish” in April 2015 that will sell for $19.95 and be 352 pages worth of Kim Kardadshian selfies.

Kim Kardashian Selfies Book

These leaves us with a number of questions:

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by Free Britney at . Comments

For those parents out there struggling to find the best ways of talking to kids about the Second Amendment, boy do we have the perfect children's book for you.

My Parents Open Carry was written by Brian Jeffs and Nathan Nephew, the co-founders of Michigan Open Carry who feel this issue can't be discussed early enough:

My Parents Open Carry Book

Brian and Nathan decided to pen a book on packing heat in public because, well, they "looked for pro-gun children's books and couldn't find any."

Given the countless number of children killed or injured by firearms each year, one can understand why. The authors feel this is an unfair statement, however.

The synopsis for My Parents Open Carry is as follows:

"Come join 13-year-old Brenna Strong along with her mom, Bea, and her dad, Richard, as they spend a typical Saturday running errands and having fun together."

What's not so typical about this family, the book educationally points out, "is that Brenna's parents lawfully open carry handguns for self-defense."

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by Free Britney at . Comments

Former Teen Mom star Amber Portwood is out of prison and off the air, but she's still got a lot of her story to tell, and is doing it with an explosive new book.

Amber's tell all Never Too Late opens up about her rise to fame and fall from grace, her stint in an Indiana prison and her life since her release.

Amber Portwood Book Cover

The book will be released August 26, and Portwood told Radar she chose a selfie for the cover because it was symbolic of all she'd been through:

“I wanted to incorporate a selfie onto the Never Too Late book cover because I thought it was symbolic of the journey I had to take when writing the book.”

“In writing this book I had to step back and really take a look at my actions and life both before and after my jail time,” the 24-year-old added.

Also, “the selfie has become so mainstream that everyone can relate to it and my story and journey is one that a lot of people can relate to."

Amber Portwood, Maci Bookout, Catelynn Lowell and Farrah Abraham were the original four stars of Teen Mom. All have had their issues since.

No one can quite top Amber's problems with domestic violence, drugs, rehab, and hard core state prison while starring on the hit MTV show, however.

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by Hilton Hater at . Comments

If you've ever wondered what Kim Kardashian and kompany eat at home every night... well, you may need to get out more.

But you also therefore need to get "In the Kitchen with Kris: A Kollection of Kardashian-Jenner Family Favorites," which the reality TV star announced today will be available on October 21.

"I finally got so tired of sharing my recipes one-by-one with everybody that asked, that it just made sense to do a book and put it all together,” Kris lied said to E!’s Guiliana Rancic.

Seriously, has anyone EVER seen Kris Jenner cook on Keeping Up with the Kardashians? Ever?!?

Kris Jenner Cookbook
Yes, Kris Jenner is releasing a cookbook. Will you buy it?

Jenner claims grandchildren Mason and Penelope “love my grilled cheese sandwiches,” while adding that being in the kitchen is how she chills out.

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