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Last week's nominees, Keith and Porsche, were both certain they had the votes and didn't even try to save themselves from eviction (the joke was on Keith).

This time around, several newbies were scrambling to cut deals and cover their respective backsides before Jordan's nominations were even announced.

Who did she put up, and who do you think stands the better chance of survival? THG breaks down last night's episode in a +/- recap below ...

Jordan and Jeff on BB13

Porsche is, like, so said to see Keith go. "NOT!" Minus 7 for that sixth-grader style diss, and for how funny she thought she was while delivering it.

Adam and Dominic are both convinced the other turned on Keith, when neither of them did! Plus 5 for Shelley's turncoat vote that no one expects.

Pretty poor display by the new kids overall, though. They had the numbers, then coughed it up, and now kiss up, rather pathetically. Minus 7.

Evel Dick left, but his prediction of picking off these weak ass competitors one by one looks spot on. Plus 3, because we really miss that guy.

Only Dominic seems like he gives a crap about fighting back against the big kids and formulating a plan beyond straight up begging. Even if we're not sure the Daniele mini-alliance will do the trick, Plus 6 for effort.

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Keith. Porsche.

One is named after a car, the other runs his mouth like a motor. Both are as about smart as scrap metal and faced elimination last night on Big Brother.

Who survived and who was the first house guest evicted this summer?

THG breaks down last night's live episode in a +/- recap below ...

Keith and Porsche Pic

The votes didn't add up for the vets, so Brendon and Rachel went on the offensive ... by being nice. By being social! Look, they're like normal people! Plus 4.

Scratch that. Rachel revealed that her pet name for B is "Bookie" (pronounced boo-key, not like Snooki). He gets PISSED, since people will now think of him as less of a man and no longer respect him ... on BIG BROTHER. Minus 7.

In short, she "inadvertently demasculinated" him. Sure thing. Plus 3.

They made up. They made out. It was straight up wrong. Minus 30.

Nauseating as Brenchel can be to observe, their efforts to win newbie votes (and make Keith appear even crazier than they are) weren't terrible. Plus 5. It helps that they're playing with likable Jeff and Jordan, but still.

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As we first reported last week and he later confirmed himself, Evel Dick left Big Brother, departing for undisclosed personal reasons on last night's show.

His departure certainly shook things up, leaving the house in disarray.

Which cast member celebrated? Which alliance member was moved to tears? What did it mean for Evel Dick's partnership with his estranged daughter?

Let's break down Wednesday's Big Brother episode, THG style!

Dick and Daniele Donato

Porsche is upset about being on the block. Is this because the veterans are actually outnumbered, or just because she's a moron? Who knows! Plus 9.

No sooner does Dick tell us he loves the nominations than he's called to diary room, he walks over ... and that's it. No explanation from CBS. Minus 15.

The lack of info was so lame, but on the flip side, whatever he had to leave for was important, and private. As Daniele said, he lives for BB. Plus 4.

After Rachel learns and announces the news to the cast. Keith celebrates like a jackass, while Brendon is nearly in tears. Minus 8 for these displays.

Minus only 3, because this does hurt them, but it's hard to feel too sympathetic toward the veterans, since this is their second go-around anyway.

Plus 4 for Daniele not wanting the Golden Key if she didn't earn it, then Plus 3 more for being smart enough to realize what a gift she just received.

Jeff's homophobic rant from yesterday was uncool, but his inspiring speech to the veterans was awesome. This guy should coach basketball. Plus 8.

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Two members of the Big Brother 13 cast got into an argument Tuesday, which in itself isn't news. Jeff Schroeder's homophobic comments - stemming from a discussion of Harry Potter, of all things - are being widely criticized, however.

Jeff clearly hasn't seen the films or read the books, but nevertheless starts laying into Dumbledore, who author J.K. Rowling says she always thought of as gay:

Newcomer Kalia Booker defends the books and the character, but Jeff stresses how wrong it is to send kids to a "fantasy camp" run by a gay man.

He then goes ballistic on Kalia, accusing her of "saying the right answer for TV." Odd, given that just a few nights ago, Cassi Colvin reportedly dropped the f-bomb on Dominic Briones, only to be chastised by Jeff.

What do you think? Did Jeff's rant totally cross the line? Or did he just get carried away in a conversation we don't know the full context of? Discuss.

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As we noted in our Big Brother recap earlier, the veterans are already dominating the newbies, with the cagiest veteran of all leading the charge.

Sadly, due to news reports and the live feeds of the show, we already know Evel Dick Donato left the show just after this footage was recorded.

The reason why is still a bit of a mystery, but Dick did confirm his exit and clear up some false rumors about it in a video on RTVZone (dot) com.

In short, it was NOT planned, and while he is sad about it, he felt he had no choice and has no regrets. Here are excerpts from Dick's statement:

Evel Dick Pic

"CBS will be addressing this on the Wednesday episode of 'Big Brother.' But I wanted to address my departure from the BB house to stop all of the speculation and b******t rumors floating around the internet once and for all.

I wasn't kicked out, I wasn't put in jail, I wasn't diagnosed with cancer, my mother, my son and my girlfriend weren't in any kind of accident or caused me to leave the house in any way shape or form.

My brother wasn't killed, I don't even have a brother ... all these rumors are just out of hand.

This isn't some kind of lame publicity stunt aimed at promoting RTVZone (dot) com ... Also, I didn't leave the game to push Daniele farther in the game, as some are saying. I was there to win and so was she.

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An alliance was formed last night on Big Brother, but does it stand a chance - and given a certain cast member's impending departure, does it even matter?

Let's recap last night's episode, THG style ...

The fact that the stuff going on with Evel Dick (spoiler alert) will not be addressed until Wednesday made his machinations seem unimportant. Minus 5.

Still, that guy rules. Plus 5. One episode in and he's already assumed the role of puppet master, trying to lure the newcomers over to the Dark Side.

The Big Brother 13 Cast

Evel Dick's not the only one working in secret. Keith forms The Regulators with Cassi, Lawon, and Dominic. Great name ... R.I.P. Nate Dogg. Plus 5.

Meanwhile, Porsche aligns herself with Dick in like 20 seconds. Don't VIP cocktail waitresses know when they're getting played? Wait, forget it. Minus 2.

Some of the partnerships formed in the season premiere are fun (well, mainly Cassi and Shelley) but the Regulators forming a splinter cell was smart. Plus 6.

Plus 4 for Jordan pulling the Dutch Oven on Jeff. Kinda gross, yes. But it's these little, real-life moments and exchanges that just make you heart them.

Even though the concept of "floating" will be harder to pull off in this format, Plus 4 for Brendon recycling Rachel's "grab a life vest" line from 2010.

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It's been less than 48 hours since the Big Brother 13 premiere, and Evel Dick Donato is already out. Details are scarce, but apparently it's for good.

Dick, whose surprise return to the show he won five seasons ago shocked the new house guests, had to leave the CBS show for "personal reasons."

The network wouldn't specify the exact reason, but CBS says "His departure will be addressed on the episode to be broadcast Wednesday, July 13."

Evel Dick Donato

Along with his estranged daughter Daniele, Dick was invited back to compete on BB13 this summer as one of three "dynamic duos" from past seasons.

Daniele will continue to participate in the show, and thanks to Evel Dick's departure (which really throws off the new format), was given a "golden key."

This guarantees that Daniele can not be eliminated in the next four weeks, in keeping with the somewhat confusing rules laid out in the premiere.

The fallout from Dick's exit - observed by some astute fans who noted his absence from the show's online feeds - will surely be felt in the game.

Whatever the reason, we're sad he's gone and wish him well.


by Free Britney at . Comments

It must be July.

Each year around this time, against our better judgment, we tune in to see ridiculous exhibitionists sequestered and plotting strategies in a CBS “house”.

Are we proud of the fact that we watch this? Can you take enabler Julie Chen seriously on The Early Show given her role in this nonsense? No and no.

Do we keep coming back, three times every freaking week. Oh yes? Come along as THG recaps the season premiere of CBS' guilty pleasure, +/- style!

Big Brother 13 Cast

The new cast arrives ... only there are a mere eight of them. Something's up. Let's break down our first impressions of these eight nut jobs first:

Dominic Briones: Adrenaline junkie and admitted virgin who still lives at home. That seems like a contradiction in terms, but he seems nice. Plus 6.

Adam Poch: Metal head. WWE look. Loves appletinis and (old school) 90210. The scream was annoying, but grew on us a bit, so Minus only 3.

Kalia Booker: Blogger who compares herself to Carrie from Sex and the City. Girl please. Carrie B. would never use the term "bestie". Minus 5.

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Big Brother 12 stars Brendon Villegas and Rachel Reilly were a formidable tandem in the house last summer. Now they've just formed an alliance ... for life!

Despite an embarrassing incident in which he sent pics of his junk to some random girl online late last year, Brendon popped the question on V-day.

Rachel, who caught him in the act, said yes. All is forgiven!

Brendon and Rachel aren't just back on. They're on for good!

The PDA-prone couple plans to tie the knot in September. No word if The Brigade - Matt, Lane, Hayden or Enzo - will be in the bridal party.

You can expect an outpouring of emotion in any case.

After all, this is a guy whose public apology to the woman he loves (see below, after the whole cyber cheating fiasco) probably ranks among the more nauseatingly hilarious moments in the history of human civilization.

Imagine how choked up he'll be during their first dance ...

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