by Free Britney at

Mary Jaggers, a 58-year-old Florida woman, was arrested after allegedly calling 911 to report that there was too much drinking going on at her local bar.

Best of all? This was not a one-off occurrence.

Jaggers called dispatchers six times, reports indicate, to alert them to the stunning presence of intoxicated individuals at Artie's Sportsman Lounge in Hollywood, Fla.

She wanted all the bar patrons arrested, too.

Officers eventually arrested Jaggers for misusing the 911 system. During their investigation, they found hydrocodone and charged her with drug possession.

Which may explain a lot, come to think of it.

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by Free Britney at

Stephen Trevor Chapman, a 22-year-old Arizona man, has been arrested after he was shot by a furious husband who found him in bed with his wife.

The husband is 68. The wife is 63. He reportedly discovered her sleeping with Chapman when he went to check on his wife about 1 a.m. on Saturday.

The elderly man, who suffers from Parkinson's Disease, says he fell asleep inside his home in the retiree community of Saddlebrooke, Ariz., near Tuscon.

When he went to his guesthouse to check on his wife, he found her and Chapman together, police say, and began to poke Chapman with his cane.

Chapman allegedly bounded out of bed and lunged at the man, screamed at him and refused to leave, at which point the homeowner fired a warning shot.

One pellet from the .410-caliber pistol shot struck Chapman in the hand, and the confused homeowner proceeded to make the saddest 911 call ever.

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by Free Britney at

A Billings, Montana woman was charged with felony DUI after becoming so intoxicated that she had to call 911 to get out of the car, the Billings Gazette reports.

Maybe a sign you shouldn't be driving. Maybe.

Carol Frances Omeara Mug Shot

Carol Frances Omeara, 55, made an initial appearance in Yellowstone County Justice Court Wednesday. She remained jailed as of Thursday on $3,000 bond.

Omeara was arrested Tuesday after a 911 call in which she said she couldn't get out of her vehicle. The dispatcher asked if she was having medical or mechanical issues.

Court records indicate the caller replied she was too drunk, and she wasn't kidding. Prosecutors say Omeara's blood-alcohol level was 0.311 percent.

Point three-one-one percent!

That's 3-4 times the legal limit at which a driver is considered legally intoxicated. Sadly but not surprisingly, records say Omeara has three previous DUIs.

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by Hilton Hater at

We suppose this is better than calling 911 because McDonald's messed up your order. Or because you need a pen.

But not by much.

Alex Billington, a movie critic for the website Firstshowing.net, called the authorities from inside a theater at the Toronto Film Festival this week because a fellow attendee was pointing his cell phone at the screen for over 10 minutes.

"I thought I might be witnessing an act of piracy ... and wished to report it to the proper authorities," Billington told BuzzFeed. "The call made was to report an act of piracy in progress, a major crime that many signs around TIFF remind people is a punishable offense.

"I simply requested that an officer confront and confirm that he was not pirating."

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by Free Britney at

George Zimmerman has been released from custody following Monday's allegedly heated dispute with his sobbing, estranged wife Shellie, who called 911.

On the phone with dispatchers, Shellie Zimmerman claimed that her spouse was threatening her and her father with a gun and that feared for her life.

Local police converged on the home in the Orlando, Fla., suburb of Lake Mary and held George Zimmerman in custody, though he was not arrested.

After speaking to her attorney, Shellie changed her story.

She said she never saw a gun and that she and her father, whom she said Zimmerman had punched in the face, had no interest in pressing charges.

Police later said they did not find a gun on Zimmerman.

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by Free Britney at

George Zimmerman is reportedly in custody following a dispute involving his wife.

Police in Lake Mary, Florida, said that Zimmerman is being held at a residence of a relative on suspicion of domestic battery of his estranged wife.

There is a gun at the home and police are investigating whether it was used.

It's unclear what caused the fight between George and Shellie Zimmerman.

He hasn't been arrested. Rather, "as of right now, he has been placed in investigative detention," Lake Mary, Fla., police spokesman Zach Hudson said.

Hudson said there were three parties involved in the domestic altercation.

The incident comes two months after Zimmerman, a volunteer neighborhood watch captain, was found not guilty of murder in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin.

Just last week, Shellie Zimmerman filed for divorce from George.

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by Free Britney at

A just-released 911 call reveals that two Dallas-area teens saved a kidnapped woman who mouthed "help me" to them from the back of a moving vehicle.

Charles Atkins Lewis, 37, was arrested August 22 after allegedly kidnapping a woman, 25, who has not been identified, at gunpoint and forcing her into his car.

The two teenagers noticed the kidnapped woman from their car as Lewis allegedly drove her through Kaufman County, according to the recording.

“Yes, I’m on the highway. I’m witnessing a robbery. Not a robbery, a kidnapping,” Aaron Arias, 19, told a 911 dispatcher. “It’s me and another guy."

"So we’re checking out the girl in the back because we’re like, ‘OK, she’s kind of attractive’, and then all of a sudden the guy is turned back, looking at us."

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by Hilton Hater at

Take note, THGers. Here is what we've learned about 911 this month:

Do not call if McDonald's messes up your order.

Do not call if the cable goes out, even during a Breaking Bad episode.

And do not call if you are in need of a pen, something New Hamphire resident Jeanie Dufresne discovered the hard way this week.

As explained in the following video, Dufresne angered an operator for making just such a request over the weekend, getting herself arrested for the THIRD TIME THIS MONTH for using 911 in an inappropriate manner.

The 66-year old told authorities each time that she just wanted someone to talk to. Darn. This story just went from funny to sad...

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by Hilton Hater at

We suppose this is at least a better reason to call 911 than your cable going out.

A Naples, Florida resident is under arrest today after his mother called the authorities to report that her son was keeping a baby alligator in her bathtub.

Sean Lewis, 45, was reportedly keeping an eye on the creature for a friend and created his own little aquarium in the bathroom, replete with a cinderblock for the animal to lie on and a lightbulb to serve as the sun.

After several days, however, Sean's mother grew irritated by the unwelcome guest and called 911 to have her kid booked on charges of alligator poaching.

You simply must listen to that 911 call in the following video:

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by Hilton Hater at

There are plenty of acceptable reasons for dialing 911.

Perhaps someone has poisoned you with Ricin. Maybe you're teetering on the verge of death as the result of a meth overdose.

But here's a reason NOT to bother the authorities: because you're cable goes out in the middle of a Breaking Bad episode.

Sadly, a handful of Connecticut residents reacted in a panic when just such an incident befell them during Sunday night's broadcast of what many consider to the best show in the history of television.

You can actually listen to one woman's hilarious/disturbing 911 call in the following video:

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