Nosy Neighbor

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey head to Arizona with their "Spaghetti Western & Meatballs" indulge in not one…but two cleansing rituals.

Check out all of the dirt in THG's official +/- review.

Go Ahead, Touch It.

Teresa Guidice is riding high. Everything's going well. Cook books, Milania Haircare. Criminal charges…oops. She conveniently forgot that one. Minus 15.

But you know something's wrong when your 12 year old has to edit your fashion sense.

Shouldn't it be the mom putting a ban on skimpy bathing suits, not the other way around?

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The Real Housewives of Miami had to deal with the whirlwind which was "Hurricane Adriana" and we recap all of the lies and craziness in our THG +/- review.
 

Bridezilla Alert

In between dress shopping and warding off Frederic's advances, Adriana brought the crazy. She might still be mad at Frederic…and already married to him.

But that certainly doesn't mean she's not planning a wedding. Plus 20.

Speaking of which, why is she so ticked off at Frederic anyway. He called off their wedding five years ago. Why all the drama now?

Or is this all a big show for the cameras who were conveniently let into their bedroom to film her snubbing her hubby? Minus 8.

And she's not so upset that she won't marry him…again. But this time she wants angels flying in from heaven and hot air balloons landing on top of a church or some such nonsense.

All I know is that her wedding planner is going to charge her a fortune to pull this off but at least we should all be wildly entertained by the spectacle.  Plus 30.

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This week on The Real Housewives on New Jersey, we were shown a "Hair-Binger of Doom" as a six year old gets her own professional hair care line.

Yup, anything can happen in Jersey and we recap it all in our THG +/- review.

Pass the Hookah

I've lost count of the amount of products Teresa Guidice has out there but this one might just top the list. Now she's got a professional hair care line…and she's named it after her six year old.

Minus 20.  First off, I've never much liked Teresa's hair.  Second, don't you think her other kids might be a little ticked off that Milania's getting all the attention? Way to play favorites there Mom.

And is little Milania angling for her own show? Plus 8 because her parading around in a padded bra was disturbingly funny as was telling Tre to take her name off the product if she couldn't come to the launch party.

In reality it's just another Housewives money making scheme and with all the Guidice legal issues I'm sure their lawyers will take every penny they can get.

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The Real Housewives of Miami returned for Season 3 with "Til Lies Do Us Part" and we recap all of the cast shakeups and marriage fake outs in our THG +/- review.

Cleavage Alert

It was out with the old and in with the not so new as dentist to the stars Karent Sierra was no where to be found and Alexia Echevarria was added on as a full time cast member.

Plus 10 because although Karent and her long distance Latin lover were interesting, Alexia's life looks like a train wreck. Love it or hate it I'm sure it will never be dull.

And given Alexia's family life I was surprised she signed on this season. Her one son is still recovering from a traumatic brain injury while the other is going around beating up the homeless and video taping it for kicks and giggles.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey heads back to the Teresa and Jacqueline summit as the "Children of the Scorned" try to patch up their friendship.

We recap the tattered remains in THG's +/- review.

The Real '80s

After last week where Teresa Giudice called Jacqueline evil and Jac shot back with calling Tre a sociopath, I was expecting more from this summit meaning.

Minus 15 because instead of a cat fight it was a giant snooze fest. I don't think anyone really owned up to anything from the past, they just decided to move on.  How long will it be before it all falls apart once again?

The worst part was having to hear Joe Guidice talk about autism once again.

Minus 12 because the ignorant meter was  spiking off the charts. But then again, if we kept Joe to speaking about subjects he actually understood, it wouldn't give him much air time.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey had half the cast trying to be "Best Frenemies Forever" but how long will the tenuous truce last?

We call out who's a dirty dog and who can't handle basic grammar in THG's +/- review.

The hour begins with Melissa Gorga heading out to her husband's construction site to drop off some papers. As the mud gets on her designer boots shy whines, "Is it always this dirty here?"

Melissa Gorga Continues To Sing

Minus 15. It's a construction site! I'm guessing she doesn't visit much… and I hope that equipment Joe Gorga had her driving was adequately insured because it looked as though someone was going to get hurt.

Joe's all hyped up about his photo shoot for a Sizzle Tan billboard. What makes him qualified? "I am perfect."  Minus 18. No lack of ego here.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey are "On Thin Guid-Ice" as the retreat continues. We recap the drunken hugs and apologies in our THG +/- review.

Dr. V score some points as she quickly reduces Joe Gorga and Teresa Guidice to sobbing puddles. Plus 12. That didn't take long at all.

Hug It Out

But I wouldn't expect tearful hugs from everyone.

The good doctor marches back downstairs for her next victim and assures them all that she's not murdering anyone upstairs.  I don't think some in that crowd would have a problem if she were.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey gives us "Scum One, Scum All" as the team builders run for cover. We recap all the therapy and mysterious black tar in our THG +/- review.

We pick up right where we left off with Joe Gorga calling sister Teresa Giudice scum. Minus 20. That really was out of line.


Sexy Time

Then Tre runs out to Juicy Joe who storms in looking for a fight but before he gets halfway there, Gorga charges him like a bull in a pasture.

Minus 30 because I can't tell what there's more of in that room, testosterone or stupidity.

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Ugly fights are a standard on The Real Housewives of New Jersey but "When Joes Collide" might just deliver the knock out punch. We recap why everyone should just retreat in our THG +/- review.

The Gorgas, Giudices, and Wakiles head to upstate New York for a team building / conflict resolution retreat. What could possibly go wrong?

On Her Knees


Yes folks, that's a joke, because this thing never even stood a chance. But let's start with who bailed before it even got started.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey found Melissa Gorga unknowingly "Drinking With the Enemy". We recap the liars, cheaters, and so-called friends in our THG +/- review

It all starts out innocent enough. Kathy's cooking in her test kitchen and Rosie's recounting how she had to pull her cartilage back into place after her meeting with Teresa.

Minus 10. Did we really need to hear about that?

Crazy Train to Jersey



Then Rosie shares Teresa's idea of a retreat between the Guidices and Gorgas and invites the others along.  

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