Nosy Neighbor

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It's a big night for The Real Housewives of New Jersey and their families as they do "The Jersey Side Step" right out of the state. Can Melissa play to a crowd? Will the Manzo boys stay sober long enough to get some work done? We recap it all in this week's THG +/- review.

We start off small with Kathy heading over to an ice cream store in Paterson to ask them to taste her cookies but she complains when Rich takes over. Minus 8. If she really didn't want him to interfere she should have left him at home. 

And can someone please inform Richie that it's no longer 1992? He can turn his shirt collar down now. Minus 7.

Melissa Gorga Singing

The Beat Stock concert is fast approaching and we get glimpses of both Gia and Melissa practicing their routines. Before the show Teresa's kids are openly mocking aunt Melissa as Teresa and Joe laugh. Minus 10. If the Guidices were serious about mending the rift between their families they should have stopped the little brats immediately, not encouraged them.

Can someone please explain to me how people who are going bankrupt can afford a personal hair stylist and makeup artist?  I'm really confused.

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The Real Housewives of New York City head across the pond in "I'm U.K., You're U.K." It has everyone feeling OK, but what about those who were left behind? We recap all of the fake accents and awkward corporate cheerleading in THG's +/- recap!

Sonja, Luann, and Carole head off to London and you'd think after a red eye transatlantic flight everyone would be ready for a nap but not these girls.

Plus 10 because they're here to shop and they're not wasting a minute.

Plus 8 to Carole when she calls Luann Pumpkin Head. I couldn't help but laugh at that. Then she brushes it off by saying that she only calls her most gorgeous girlfriends by that moniker ... Is Luann really buying that?

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Heather's obviously looking to impress the ladies with the penthouse but there's a price to pay: they have to attend Heather's Yummie Tummie corporate dinner. Minus 12

hose Rah! Rah! company dinners can be so boring but it'a 10 times worse if you don't work there. To make things even more awkward Heather makes everybody, including the ladies stand up and say what they love about Yummie Tummie. Ugh.

If things weren't uncomfortable enough, Luann calls Carole out for not standing during her turn. Minus 9. The Countess might write books about etiquette but that was a definite dig at the Princess.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey celebrated Antonia's birthday and if you were looking for an over the top affair for a six year old then you came to the right place. We recap all of the indulgence of the showy soiree in our THG +/- review.

It was nice that Melissa didn't over do it for her six year old's birthday party. She invited all of their family and friends plus all of the kids from Antonia's school. There was a bounce house, a giant crawl through caterpillar, tents with cotton candy and popcorn, a henna tattoo artist…did I miss anything.

Melissa Gorga Fashion

Minus 10 because the most ridiculous thing was watching Melissa Gorga get her makeup professionally done for a kid's party while she swore to her husband that she was NOT high maintenance.  I'd like to know what's her definition of that term.
Across town Joe Guidice bails on the party and Milania calls her dad a big poop.  Plus 5.  I couldn't really disagree with her assessment.

But the party had its moments.  Plus 7 to Teresa who crawled into that caterpillar with the kids. I hope she grabbed some hand sanitizer when she finally found her way out.

Plus 5 to Joe Gorga who got in on the fun and let the kids watch him get his own tattoos.

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Who wouldn't want to hang out with the cool girls?  Unfortunately, not everybody can and when we're talking about The Real Housewives of New York City, "The Cool Girls" can turn into the mean girls pretty quickly.

We'll break down the transformation in THG's +/- recap!

Let's start with the zen girl. Luann heads to The YinOva Center for some fertility acupuncture treatments.  Plus 10 for keeping an open mind or is this just grasping at straws. When she says that she and Jacques have been trying to get pregnant for over a year my jaw dropped.  How long have they been dating?

Seems like Luann hit the fast forward button on this relationship. She says she's been on prenatal vitamins for two years. Another baby has definitely been in her long term plan.

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Speaking of kids, how could you not feel for little Jax.  At seven years old he's had a liver transplant, is on daily immunosuppressant drugs, and wears hearing aids.

That's a lot for any adult to handle, never mind a kid.  Plus 15 to Heather bringing up the importance of organ donation and what a difference it can make to so many lives.

From organ donation we jump to a conversation about bow blouses as Aviva and Sonja ooh and ahh over one Sonja found in the back of her closet.

Minus 5 because the transition from the meaningful to the inane is jarring.

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey look for some help from a professional but when it's all just "Temporary Shrinkage" can you expect the results to last? We recap all of the drama of therapy in this week's THG +/- review!

Is that really just a garage Joe and Teresa are building back there?

It's bigger than most single family homes but then again do these two know how to do anything normal? Minus 10.

But Plus 8 for appearances. The Guidice kids may act like brats but they look adorable in those matching overalls and even Joe seems more human as he tries to teach his little girls how to spread the concrete.

Teresa and Joe Giudice Pic

In an unexpected surprise Rosie shows up on the Guidice doorstep ticked off because of all the things she's read about Teresa putting down her sister. Minus 9. That's been going on for over a year now. What took her so long?

Teresa just looks at her perplexed as though she doesn't know what she's talking about and remarks that she doesn't store things in her brain. Yeah. No kidding. 

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Just when I thought this season of The Real Housewives of New York City might end up being the new housewives versus the old, "Diss-Invite" turned that fear upside down.

It's actually become all of the housewives against Ramona. Who saw that coming? So let's break it all down in our THG +/- recap.

First off, what do you think of the new housewives? When the opening conversation between Aviva and Carole consisted of what they'd eaten for breakfast…Aviva ate a hard boiled egg and Carole a sugar cookie for those who missed that fascinating tidbit…I thought about going to bed early. Minus 12.

Are these women just that boring or do I need to get some more sleep?

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

When Ramona showed up with gifts I was surprised by Aviva's comments. I realized that Ramona's pimping her own skin care line but it was still nice of her to hand out presents. Minus 5 to Aviva for the sarcasm.

Ramona's searching for Heather haters but it didn't seem to be working. As both Ramona and Heather talk too much a talking intervention was proposed. Wait. Would we still have a show if they all shut up?

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How does a Real Housewife of New Jersey hit rock bottom? When she has no one left to hear her whine. That's the place Teresa Guidice found herself in during last night's episode, "Public Displays of Rejection."

We break down all the drama below in THG's +/- recap!

What doesn't Teresa understand? Jacqueline was upset about the magazine saying she was going to jail and confronted her about it. Minus 10 because I don't see what's the big deal.

Teresa and Joe Giudice Pic

But Teresa calls it an ambush. I'll give her a Plus 3 because once Caroline jumped into the fray it sort of felt like one but that wasn't Jacqueline's intention. Teresa's biggest issue is that she can never see someone else's point of view.

When she runs home to cry on Joe's shoulder he gives his typical response. He tells her she has him and she doesn't need anyone else so move on. Minus 12. It always feels like Teresa's husband is trying to isolate her from the rest of the world. Maybe it's because the less friends she has, the less likely she is to leave his sorry butt.

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The Real Housewives of New York City somehow take a "Boozy Brunch" and turn in into a trip to London. Come on, admit it. You wish you could too.

We'll break down how they did it in THG's +/- recap!

What do you think of the new girls? I'm giving them a Minus 10. Were they really complaining about the traffic in NYC? Boring. This is not what I tuned in to see. I think they're making me miss the old crew.

Boozy Brunch Pic

And Ramona and Luann are already ditching them but Sonja joins their brunch and it quickly turns into drinks at a rooftop bar. Plus 8 for keeping things moving.

I'm not sure what to make of Aviva. On the one hand she has issues on top of her issues. My first instinct was to hit her with a Minus 9 for the multiple phobias.

She's afraid of flying, heights, and she's claustrophobic. Then she explains it stems from her traumatic childhood accident where she lost her leg and suddenly I feel like a heel so I'll add the points back with one extra.  Plus 10.

Aviva's husband, Reid joins the girls because Aviva needs the backup. Apparently it's the heights thing with the rooftop bar. Everyone is all aflutter because Reid doesn't wear a wedding ring and Sonja is downright appalled. 

Minus 11 for making such a big deal out of it. I think it's between Aviva and Reid and no one else's business. If the guy's going to cheat he's going to cheat. A metal band on his finger isn't about to stop him.

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What happens when best friends decide to have a chat?

On The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it apparently ends up including lots of screaming and hand gestures and ends up with "Best Friends For Never." 

We break down all the finger-flailing drama in THG's +/- recap!

Teresa and Joe are still in the middle of their bankruptcy proceeding and the tabloids say Teresa may have to do prison time for fraud. They allege she knowingly withheld assets including her $250,000 book advance for Skinny Italian.

Yet somehow not only do they still live in their big fancy house but they're adding a carport and a huge garage with an upstairs apartment?

Minus 15. If this is bankruptcy then sign me up.

Teresa Giudice, Hat

The visit to their lawyer left more questions than answers. How much debt are these two in that they can't pay it off with Teresa's book sales? I can only imagine that the money they waste in a month could support most families for a year. Minus 10.

Plus 12 to Chris. I couldn't believe he'd offered to buy all of their auction items and give them back to Joe and Teresa. Friendship or foolishness? The guy certainly has a good heart.

Which was certainly in evidence with all the crap he's put up with with Jacqueline's daughter Ashlee. Heck, Chris lasted longer than her own dad. He's already had enough of his daughter down in Texas and is ready to ship her off to California. 

Plus 8. It's about they let the spoiled brat head out on her own. She needs a good dose of reality and she won't get that with her family constantly paying her bills while she runs off and parties.

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The Real Housewives of New York City prove yet again that you can dress them up but you can't take them out. "Say What You Mean, Just Don't Say it Mean" gave everyone a chance to shine. Too bad no one actually did. 

We break down all of the fake smiles, fake friendships, and fake breasts in this week's official THG +/- recap!

The Real Housewives of NY Season 5 Cast

Heather, Aviva and their husbands meet up for a fancy dinner on the town to get to know one another better. That sounds civil enough. That's until Heather breaks out with how well she knows Aviva's ex-husband. Apparently it's well enough that she knows he slept with both Luann and Sonja!

Minus 10. Is this really appropriate dinner conversation? Nothing like talking about your friend's ex's sex life to put her at ease.

But they also talked religion where Heather announces that although she's never officially converted to Judaism, she considers herself Jewish by injection for how long she's slept with her Jewish husband. Groan. Minus 8.

Aviva earns a Plus 11. When her hubby asks what's the worst that can go wrong when he goes dirt biking for the first time, Aviva responds with, "Yeah honey. You could lose a leg and we can match."  I know it's a bit morbid but it made me laugh.

Just when I thought this dinner would be the most awkward affair of the night, we move on to a meeting that's even worse.

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