Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Jon & Kate Plus 8 is no longer a show about two people raising eight adorable children.

It's now a seedy, exploitive documentary about the tension between a married couple that just happens to have a bunch of kids running around, most of whom take away airtime from the latest feud TLC can highlight between the adults. It's pathetic and no one should be watching it.

Kate Chows Down

Of course, sadly, millions of people are. With that in mind, here's how the series milked the hatred between Jon and Kate Gosselin this week...

On last night's episode (taped months ago), Kate celebrated her 34th birthday... with just her children.

Where did the script call for Jon to be?

"I went out to Utah for, like, five days," he said. "I just wanted to get back out there and ride with my friends. It just happened to fall on Kate's birthday."

Did Jon Gosselin celebrate his wife's birthday by porking Deanna Hummel? That's the latest rumor.

According to Us Weekly, Jon actually spent the weekend with rumored girlfriend Deanna Hummel. Sources say the two were together at a Spring Gruv party at The Canyon in Utah on March 28, Kate's birthday.

Meanwhile, the Gosselin parents also recorded a handful of couch testimonials together this episode, actually appearing side-by-side a few times. (We're shocked TLC didn't create smoke emanating out of their ears.)

"This season, sometimes you'll see Kate and I interview separately. Sometimes you'll see us interview together on the chair," Jon said. "It depends how things are going. We have busy schedules. And that's it."

Man. We feel dirty just writing about this stuff.

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Her vagina might be cavernous, but her body is slammin.

While Steve Neild is rumored be an expert on both these Kate Gosselin body parts, the public has now been exposed to the latter, following a vacation Kate and her kids recently took to Bald Head Island, North Carolina.

Kate G.

The mother of eight likely raked in hordes of cash from paparazzi as she was photographed in a bikini last week during the trip.

While Gosselin doesn't look like someone that has given birth to two sets of multiples, her body is not the result of any impressive workout routine. Instead, a tummy tuck was one of the numerous freebies TLC handed out to Kate and husband Jon.

Regardless of how she got this way, the bottom line is that Kate Gosselin is bordering on major MILF status. Do you agree?

Would you hit it?

 

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After accepting her trophy of golden popcorn last night at the MTV Movie Awards for Best Song From a Movie, Miley Cyrus had a lot of people to thank.

First, she expressed how psyched she was to have the award handed to her by Lil' Wayne; then she showered praise on her fans; at the last second - d'uh! - she remembered her maker:

Party in the USA

"I want to thank God, HELLOOOO, the only reason I'm here. I love you so much."

It looks like the Big Man was listening, as He's rewarded Cyrus with a fourth season of Hannah Montana, The Disney Channel announced today.

Yo, God, it's me, Miles. Props for helping me write "The Climb." Keep on rockin!

"Miley and the producers have proposed a change of setting for Season Four that will provide the catalyst for wonderful new characters and further expand the storytelling opportunities," the network said in a statement.

Production on the show's third season is over this week; shooting will then resume early next year.

Are you looking forward to more of Miley on the small screen?

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Yes, Sacha Baron Cohen forced Eminem into the 69 position at last night's MTV Movie Awards.

But while the Web is buzzing over that bare-assed, ballsy maneuver, the evening still belonged to the cast of Twilight/New Moon.

Headed Home

First, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart came thisclose to making out on stage, as the screams of countless teenagers could be heard around the world during the seconds this twosome teased viewers on stage with a near lip lock.

"[The acceptance] was Kristen's idea. My ideas were so terrible they were rejected," Pattinson admitted to Entertainment Tonight after the show. "So I'm happy she helped me two minutes before it happened."

As for the evening's other major development - the debut of the official New Moon trailer - star Taylor Lautner was pleased with what he saw.

"It's really cool! We had a blast making the film and we just wrapped. So now that the trailer is already coming out, it's really cool to be able to see it for the first time," he said.

Lautner added that no one in the cast expected Twilight to grow into a worldwide sensation.

"We were just making this book series and we hoped some fans would enjoy it and they did. Then, it kind of exploded from there and here we are!"

Here they are, indeed. To get a closer look, click on the following photos of the cast at last night's ceremony...

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With Twilight and its stars threatening to totally overtake High School Musical in the Tweeniverse, the Disney franchise came out today with a couple of tidbits regarding the fourth film in this franchise:

  • Jeffrey Hornaday will direct High School Musical 4.
  • It will be titled High School Musical: East Meets West.
HSM4

“I’m excited to be part of a franchise that, thematically, encourages kids to believe in themselves," said Hornaday, who directed world tours for Madonna and the Backstreet Boys. "Like the first three movies, my goal is to keep the art form of the traditional musical alive, yet bring a contemporary emotional response to the story and its characters through song and dance.”

Reportedly, High School Musical 4, will center around a love triangle set against the cross-town school rivalry between the East High Wildcats and West High Knights.

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Yesterday, we reported on the tragic case of Billy Bon Thornton's daughter, Amanda Brumfield, being charged with child neglect in the death of a one-year she was babysitting.

Today, Brumfield's mother (and Thornton's ex-wife), Melissa Parish, is coming to her daughter's defense. She told TMZ that Amanda had "no reason" to call 911 when the tyke fell on the night in question because there were "no signs of distress."

Amanda Brumfield Picture

"When you have a situation that does not indicate distress... there are no signs of distress, then there is no reason to immediately call police," Parish said, comparing the child's head injury to that which killed actress Natasha Richardson in March.

Parish added that her daughter was best friends with the baby's mother and was the baby's godmother; everyone is devastated by what transpired.

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We know this a crazy concept, but if Jon Gosselin and Kate Gosselin actually wanted to be left alone by the media, they'd stop talking to journalists.

Following a couple of photographs of himself and a pair of female acquaintances (over Memorial Day weekend and during a recent shopping trip at a New Jersey mall), the father of eight couldn't help but clarify his relationship with them.

"The two women with whom I've been photographed are family friends – Lauren Glassman and Lauren's daughter, Hailey," Jon said to People. "Lauren's husband, Dr. Larry Glassman, performed Kate's tummy tuck surgery, and since the surgery we've become friendly with the Glassmans."

Dude, who the heck cares?!?

This interaction between Jon and his friends barely registered a blip on the Gosselin radar, considering the pics were snapped during a week when divorce rumors sprung up and a child labor investigation got underway.

Of course, Jon had nothing to say about those reports.

Perhaps he's saving his nausea-inducing, publicity-garnering comments for tonight's episode of Jon & Kate Plus Eight on TLC. Please, people, send a message and do not watch it.

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Note to Megan Fox:

You might wanna stick to posing seductively, as opposed to talking.

The gorgeous actress - who is everywhere these days as a means to promote Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - is featured in the July 2009 issue of Great Britain's GQ.

In the article, Fox irrationally compares actors to hookers. To wit:

"When you think about it, we actors are kind of prostitutes. We get paid to feign attraction and love. Other people are paying to watch us kissing someone, touching someone, doing things people in a normal monogamous relationship would never do with anyone who’s not their partner. It’s really kind of gross."

She's got a point. With the exception of not actually having sex with anyone for money, actors are exactly like prostitutes.

British GQ Model

As for how others view her, Fox seem to take issue with her status as sex symbol:

“I have this sort of promiscuous image. People assume I’m really overtly sexually aggressive and that I’m this wild child. And I’m not like that at all."

Where would people possibly get that idea from?!?

  • A Beauty in Britain
  • More Megan

We would never discourage Megan Fox from posing in these ways. But she might wanna stop complaining about her status as a sex symbol as she does so.

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God bless Kim Kardashian. And her giant breasts, of course.

At a recent pool party hosted by NIVEA, fellow celebrities such as Emmy Rossum and Michelle Trachtenberg looked nice, pretty and conservative.

Look at My Watch!

But not our gal, Kim. She rocked a boob-enhancing swimsuit as she tackled the NIVEA-sponsored "Good-bye Cellulite, Hello Bikini Challenge."

The beauty company is challenging stars to shed a few extra pounds and Kardashian - who previously spoke proudly about her curves - seems up to the task.

"I am definitely interested in improving the appearance of cellulite," she said. "That's why I'm taking the "NIVEA Good-bye Cellulite, Hello Bikini Challenge" - its combination of nutrition, fitness, style and skin care expertise work together to help me look and feel my bikini best."

Take a look at Kardashian bikini pics now and let us know: does she really have to change anything?

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