Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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This is incredible.

A celebrity couple has managed to get married without alerting every member of the paparazzi or selling its photos to the highest bidder.

Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre and Michael Buble

Earlier this month, Claire Danes and British actor Hugh Dancy got hitched in a low-key ceremony in France. This is actually the first we're hearing about it, and we loved My So-Called Life!

The event was attended by just family and a few close friends. Of her new husband, who she had dated for two years, Danes told BlackBook magazine:

“He’s such a cutie patootie. While relationships are work, this just didn’t feel like it. It’s the kind of work that feels energizing rather than enervating. I find it very freeing to know that, okay, it takes constant nurturing and attention, but I can also stop looking for the one.”

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Jessica Alba must get really bored.

We guess that happens when you're just a mediocre actress, but one would think daughter Honor Marie would keep Alba busy enough to not change her hair color every five minutes.

Instead, the beautiful celebrity is constantly messing with her look. The reasons why are unknown.

Perhaps if Alba is made aware of which color is best on her, she'll stop going to the stylist so often and go back to posing nude a lot. Help her out below...

Jessica Alba at the Golden Globes

Which hair color looks best on Jessica Alba?

 

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This just in, ladies: Taylor Lautner is not a piece of meat!

Able to relate to Megan Fox, Olivia Wilde and countless other scantily-clad women, Lautner is often seen these days without a shirt on. That's what happens when you pack on 30 pounds to portray Jacob Black in New Moon.

But the actor told Us Weekly on Saturday night that he gets a bit self-conscious.

"It's actually quite uncomfortable knowing so many people are seeing that! It's a little bit embarrassing!"

Totally Shirtless

Lautner said it took "a lot of hard work" to look this good, but it earned him a role in the Twilight sequel, following talk that he might get replaced.

As for getting embarrassed about his topless pics, we have to apologize to Taylor in advance. Sorry, but reader pressure has forced us to post the following shirtless photos. Everyone except Lautner himself, click on them and enjoy!

  • Tattooed and Cute
  • Topless Taylor
  • Taylor Lautner Poster

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This was inevitable.

With Khloe Kardashian married and Kourtney Kardashian pregnant, Kim Kardashian has to do something - or someone - to recapture the spotlight.

With that (and, perhaps, love) in mind, Kim actually went straight from her sister's reception to the airport last night, boarded a plane and took off for New Orleans to reunite with Reggie Bush.

Mismatched Couple

Reunited with her loved one, Kim Kardashian can smile again. [Photo: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

It's a reconciliation that's been rumored for weeks, as sources tell E! News the couple is definitely back together.

"The wedding made her miss him, so she flew to see him," an insider said.

Bush's mother was actually among the close friends and family in attendance at Khloe's wedding to Lamar Odom. Might she soon be sitting in the front row when Kim and Reggie tie the knot? It's possible.

Are you glad Kim and Reggie are back together?

 

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Mere hours removed from the ridiculous Khloe Kardashian wedding, an actual celebrity is fueling rumors that she may walk down the aisle with her young boy toy in the near future.

Randy Taraborrelli, who penned a 2001 biography about Madonna, told Great Britain's The Daily Mail that the iconic singer is seriously thinking about anointing Jesus Luz as he third husband.

"The pop queen has been dating Jesus since January and it is thought the pair may marry before the end of the year," Taraborrelli writes. "Madonna is crazy about Jesus and has been telling close friends and family that "I could definitely see myself marrying him. Yes, it's definitely on the table.'"

Jesus Luz, Madonna Photo

Madonna divorced Guy Ritchie earlier this year and split with her first husband, Sean Penn, in 1989.

If a wedding to Luz does take place, Madonna is said to desire a "lavish ceremony" because she "knows that's what Jesus wants. She has a lot of wonderful memories of both of her weddings. She doesn't want to slip off and do it quietly. She definitely wants a big and rather fantastic affair."

Why does this pairing, between a 51-year old singer and a 22-year model from Brazil, work so well? Taraborrelli quotes a friend that makes it sound simple:

"He respects her.. He's amazed at how well-rounded she is, the way she juggles her career with her life as a mother... Of course, the sex between them is scorching hot. To be candid, it's what's driving things."

This isn't the first time wedding rumors have sprung up between Madonna and Jesus. But it is the first time sex has been cited as the basis for their relationship.

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When you place duct tape over your bare breast, you're likely to expose part of your nipple. Lady GaGa learned this the hard way.

Similarly, when you pull down the straps of your bathing suit, your nipples will often be on full display for the camera. Sophie Monk learned this lesson over the weekend.

The singer/actress and former fiancee of Benji Madden was drawing attention to herself by donning an unusual, revealing bathing suit. Take a look at the beauty below, pre-breast exposure:

Weird Bathing Suit

After squating in a position she knows very well, Monk got off her knees and casually showed the world her nipples. There's really no other way to explain it. See for yourself:

Continue Reading...

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Are you ready to meet the Gosselin family?!?

You already know grating, attention-starved wife Kate Gosselin. She might be having an affair with her bodyguard.

Then, there's serial womanizer and all-around douchebag Jon Gosselin. He's never met a pair of breasts he didn't try to fondle.

Now, at least according to the World Wide Web, Hailey Glassman is part of this family. Why else would her contact information be lised on the official Gosselin website? Check out the bottom of the following screen shot:

Gosselin site

The Gosselin family website offers "Inspiration Stories" on how to cheat on your annoying wife; "Laughter" over the coeds Jon has been seen with; and "Encouraging Words" from a couple desperate for fame and money.

Also, please note that Hailey Glassman doesn't have a Facebook account. This is crucial information.

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According to Kim Kardashian it was "a night to remember." One of the best of her life, in fact, based on the reality star's Twitter account.

We're sure the entire Kardashian clan feels the same way. After all, the wedding between Khloe and Lamar Odom is dominating every celebrity gossip headline today. Everything is going just as planned!

When the couple gets divorced in six months and magazines once again cover the development in depth, it will another reason to celebrate.

For now, we'll go along with the ruse and pretend as though the wedding was a beautiful, love-filled affair. It was certainly a hit among famous guests, such as serial cheater Kobe Bryant and his scorned wife, Vanessa:

Famous Guests

We'd love to show you photos from the actual ceremony, but Khloe and Lamar have already sold them to the highest bidder. Our offer of $10 and a bag of peanut M&Ms was turned down.

Still, you can click on the pics below for shots of more guests at the event, such as Ryan Seacrest and Adrienne Bailon...

  • Wedding Guest
  • Brittny Photo
  • Seacrest... In Attendance!
  • Francis, Joe
  • At the Wedding

[Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

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Jamie Kennedy and Jennifer Lovw Hewitt have spent the summer breaking every nauseating PDA record on the books.

According to a new report by Perez Hilton, though, the abysmal actor has also spent the last few weeks getting busy with his ex-girlfriend... Shannon Funk!

This is hilarious for multiple reasons:

  • It's miraculous enough that Kennedy is dating Hewitt. In case you haven't noticed, there's a slight disparity in the attractiveness of this couple.
  • Funk is the former assistant of Britney Spears. In August 2007, she sold out to the tabloids, claiming a lesbian affair with the pop star and telling the world that Britney was a terrible mother.

Kennedy and Funk are either perfect for each other; or the latter is making up more rumors to get herself in the news. As you can see below, she's very good at that...

  • Britney Spears: Bisexual?
  • What a Jackass

Shannon Funk and Jamie Kennedy?!? What would Britney say about her rumored ex-lover rekindling a flame with this fool?

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Goodbye, Lauren Conrad.

Hello, Kristin Cavallari!

Shopping Like Fiends

The Hills will look very different when it returns for a sixth season on September 29, as the MTV's program's original protagonist will no longer be reading cue cards and pretending to fight with Heidi appear on the show.

Not to worry, though, fans: Audrina Patridge, Lauren Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt all return. They were spotted shooting scenes on a Los Angeles street last week, clearly confused over the script:

My desperate need for attention is THIS big!

Click on the photos below for closer looks at Lo, Audrina and Stephane trying to remember their lines on The Hills:

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