Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Note to Miley Cyrus: you've showed signs of maturity these days, deleting your Twitter account and trying to keep your private life to yourself.

But you're still 17 years old.

That was the same reaction a bouncer had when Miley's posse showed at the 21-and-over Club LIV at the Fontainebleau Hotel in Miami Beach.

The establishment's manager and owner both confirmed to TMZ that Cyrus was turned away at the door. She likely tried to argue that she once dated a guy over 21, but illegal sex with Justin Gaston doesn't make one of legal drinking age.

Sorry, Miles.

Where's the Party?

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Because each has been through difficult circumstances involving an allegedly violent man over the past few months, you'd think Tila Tequila and Rihanna would turn to one another for comfort.

But when asked in a recent interview who she would most want to "mute," Rihanna pointed to the troubled bisexual.

The most polite thing to say? No. But worthy of Tequila's rambling, accusatory response? Not exactly.

  • Rated R Concert
  • Troubled Tila

After hearing about Rihanna's comments, Tequila took to her blog and wrote the following. No joke or pun can even do it justice. Take it away, Tila...

My sources are very legit, and they work in Rihanna’s legal camp, and that is how I know! SO RIHANNA HAS HERPES, STD’S & WAS SCARED TO SPEAK OUT ABOUT IT CUZ SHE DIDN’T WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SHE HAS HERPES AND INFECTED SOMEONE ELSE WITH IT! BAD RIHANNA!

In real life you are a major bitch who could give 2 shits about your fans and all the people who have been supporting you! Including myself!

Rihanna has STD’s and Herpes everyone! & that is the truth from my legit source that has told me. YIKES! So boys, be careful when u wanna tap that ass, cuz that ass will give your dick Herpes if you dont put 3 condoms over it!

While we question the validity of these statement, if anyone knows a lot about STDs, it's Tila Tequila.

Considering her wild, incoherent, naked video from a couple weeks ago, it's clear this woman truly needs help. She's headed down an unstable path that even Britney Spears would shake her head over.

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Just call her Fraulein Clooney.

That's what FHM Germany has dubbed Elisabetta Canalis, George Clooney's breathtaking model of a girlfriend. She covers the latest issue of the magazine, which writes about the beauty:

Wenn Elisabetta jemand so sexy sehen durfte wie jetzt die Leser von FHM, dann war das eigentlich nur dem Hollywoodstar vorbehalten. Doch ist sie ihm auch treu? Das beschäftigt heute die Frauenwelt weltweit.

In FHM zeigt das Cover-Girl der Kalender-Ausgabe (Dezember 2009) derweil allen Männern sehr viel mehr...

In Italien ist Elisabetta schon längst keine Unbekannte mehr.

Editor's note: does anyone out there speak German?

Fortunately, sexiness is a universal languae. Drool over Canalis (and curse Clooney under your breath) now:

FHM Germany Cover

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In case you haven't heard, there's a pretty big Tiger Woods scandal burning up the Internet.

The golfer's stunning affairs have taken up most of our staff's time, as we were hunkered down in the office last night, shaking our heads in disbelief and refreshing our browsers for rumored Jaimee Grubbs nude pics.

Fortunately, our friends at TV Fanatic watched the latest episodes of Thursday night television for us and have reviewed each below. Follow the links to be take a break from coverage of Tiger's trangressions...

  • We almost lost faith in the show, but FlashForward aired its best hour since the pilot this week.
  • It's the second funniest new comedy on TV. Catch up on Community now!
  • After last night's episode, Tom is on the market on Parks and Recreation!
  • Michael Scott has always been a bumbling idiot, but his latest confession of wrongdoing was more depressing than funny. Almost worse than Jim's theory that he killed someone on The Office.
  • There were TWO full hours of Private Practice!
  • When Liz flounders as a fledgling talk show host, Devin Banks returns to sabotage Jack again, and Tracy decides to be a serious actor, funny 30 Rock quotes are sure to follow.

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Stop us if you've heard this before: Sources say Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are moving in together.

Of course, some tabloids have stated these two already share a home and are willing to give tours to any magazine that comes calling.

However, there's less truth to that story than there was in Tiger Woods' wedding vows.

“They’re not ready for a huge commitment, but right now the best thing to do seems to find a home with a lot of privacy and security where they can find out how compatible they really are,” a friend told In Touch Weekly of Robsten's plans.

So far, this imaginary search has taken Kristen and Rob to residences in Beachwood Canyon and the Hollywood Hills.

  • Pumped!
  • Lip Biter

Robert Pattinson seems excited, and Kristen Stewart nervous, about the possibility of cohabitation.

Adds the anonymous, totally real pal:

“Even if you are head over heels in love with each other, you never really know if one of you has habits that will drive the other crazy. They want to give it their best shot, and that’s a big deal.”

A very big deal. Our advice to Robert and Kristen: be open, be honest and don't keep any golf clubs around the house. Right, Tiger?

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Attention, readers: there's been a Taylor Squared sighting!

Rumored couple Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner were spotted on the set of their upcoming movie, Valentine's Day, looking as cute and as cozy as ever.

We can't verify the pair is "so in love," as irreponsible tabloids have reported, but we can confirm the following: we hope they are! Take a look at Taylor and Taylor driving away from the film's set... together:

Also, mark your calendars for February 12. On that date, Valentine's Day hits theaters and rumors about this pair will only grow stronger.

Check them, filming scenes for the flick, below:

  • Taylor Squared Photo
  • Pair of Taylors

Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift: A cute couple? Or the cutest couple? [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

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When asked why Adam Lambert has been booted off multiple ABC programs this month, Kara DioGuardi channeled Bill Clinton. She basically said:

It's the economy, stupid.

"We're living in a pretty bad economic time, so they have to do what they have to do to keep their advertisers," DioGuardi told E! News. "Networks are doing what they think their viewers want and don't want, so it's just budgetary."

Lambert, of course, found himself in hot water after he performed an excessively racy rendition of "For Your Entertainment" at the American Music Awards. Since then, ABC has canceled two of his previously-booked appearances on its network.

Many fans are citing an unfair double standard against the singer.

If they boycott the network, ABC might really need to worry about its advertisers!

Adam and Kara

The American Idol judge, who returns for her second season on the panel next month, also defended the crooner.

"We always know he's going to shock us, right? He's going to wow us and give us the unexpected, and that's his thing...That's what we look for."

In other words, ABC: you can't book Adam Lambert for a gig and then act surprised when he flaunts his sexuality.

DioGuardi knows a thing or two about that, as well: she stripped down to her bikini during the show's May finale; and said husband Mike McCuddy sees even more than that at home:

"I give him his own personal videos - sans the bikini."

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Come on, Paris Hilton. You're making this way too easy for us.

We know you've fallen off the celebrity gossip radar and need pointers from former BFF Kim Kardashian on how to remain relevant, but take this piece of advice:

Dressing like a skanked out Santa Claus is not the way to go.

Hilton appeared as Unsaintly Nick in Los Angeles this week, as she launched yet another fragrance, this one titled "Siren."

Indeed, the woman that taught Kim, Spencer Pratt and others how to rake in cash and headlines without contributing anything to society has been reduced to a perfume pitchwoman. It's both very sad and very awesome.

She also looks like a mannequin.

Ho, Ho!
  • Paris
  • For Siren
  • Former A-Lister
  • Holiday Spirit

Do you miss the days when Paris Hilton was an actual A-lister? [Photos: PacificCoastNewsOnline.com]

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Sorry, Kristen Stewart.

For once, that sound you hear is not the adoring screams of Twilight Saga fans around the world.

Mya Fashion Choice

Instead, it's the whirring siren of the celebrity fashion police. You're gonna need to pull over and answer for your crimes against reason and good taste.

We know New York City is often considered the center of the fashion universe, but that's no excuse for the dress you wore below to a recent screening of New Moon there. Its two sides are more mismatched than Bella and Emmett Cullen...

How should the fashion police deal with this violation?

 

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To many people, Adam Lambert's American Music Awards performance was offensive and, therefore, they are pleased with ABC for perpetually punishing the artist.

To members of our staff, however, Miley Cyrus is a far worse role model for today's youth than last season's American Idol runner-up.

For example, the young singer has created the "Hoedown Throwdown," a song/routine in which she challenges someone on stage to a dance-off. It's a cute idea, but we're not sure if a 17-year old with Miley's dating history should be involved in anything titled a "hoedown."

We're also not sure if she should drag her little sister into it.

But during a concert in Miami this week, Miley and Noah Cyrus hoedowned and threwdown with one another. You tell us: is this adorable or unacceptable?

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