Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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A day prior to her wedding, Khloe Kardashian has something old (father Bruce Jenner); something new (her breasts); something borrowed (the spotlight); and something blue (a sad sister Kim for being shoved out of said spotlight).

She also has a lawyer.

That's because fiance Lamar Odom is finally showing an ounce of rational thinking. He's insisting on a prenuptial agreement. There's just one problem:

In order for E! to foot the bill for the $1 million wedding, it must take place tomorrow. That's not enough time to hash out a contract between the couple, both sides of which have romantically hired an attorney the day before the ceremony.

Happy New Family

According to TMZ, here's the likely solution: like her love for Odom, Khloe's wedding tomorrow will be fake.

In order to work out a post-nuptial agreement, the ceremony would have to be non-binding. Once the financial details are worked out in case of a divorce, the couple can then officially tie the knot.

So, why don't Kardashian and Odom simply wait until this takes place and hold an actual wedding? Because cameras wouldn't have time to capture it, get it on the air and garner great ratings from the event.

D'uh!

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We already know Crystal Harris and Karissa Shannon have bad taste in men. No offense, Hugh Hefner, but you are older than the game of baseball.

Now, it's clear the Playmates have poor taste in women, as well. Just look at who they want to see nude in Playboy: Kelly Osbourne!

"She's losing weight and she's blond now," Harris said to E! News. "She looks good. I want to see what she looks like naked."

Karissa chime in: "Yeah! We want to see Kelly Osbourne naked!"

Kelly Osbourne Photo

It actually sounds like the gals are previewing a done deal, considering Hefner's confidence that Osbourne would appear in his magazine. "Kelly would be happy to pose," he said.

As for rumors that Kelly Bensimon of The Real Housewives of New York City would don most of her birthday suit in the December issue, Hef was clueless.

"I'm usually the last one to know," he said. "People always have the assumption that I pick up the phone and ask people. But I don't. That's not my job. The photo department does that."

Do you wanna see Kelly Osbourne naked in Playboy?

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We hope this news doesn't drive Mischa Barton back into another silly hospitalization.

Following a pair of abysmal episodes - the second of which was viewed by scarcely one million people - The Beautiful Life has been canceled by The CW.

Mischa Barton Bikini Pic

When first announced, the series appeared to have promise. It starred Barton, Elle Macpherson and Corbin Bleu; it was based on a modeling world that reality shows (such as America's Next Top Model) prove the country is interested in.

Yet Barton's recent controveries, along with producer Ashton Kutcher's general annoyingness, may have doomed the drama before it started.

In its place, The CW air reruns of Ashlee Simpson's Melrose Place. The network also picked up addition episode of freshman series Vampire Diaries this week.

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Somebody new is drooling over Mary-Louise Parker nude.

The beautiful actress has gone public with Charlie Mars, a musician she started seeing in early June. Sources told People the singer/songwriter and the Weeds star spent all of last weekend together, spending time in Los Angeles for the Emmy Awards.

Mary-Louise Pic

Last year, Parker appeared in the artist's video for "Listen to the Darkside," the first single off his record Like a Bird, Like a Plane.

Mars reminds us a bit of John Mayer - for Parker's sake, though, let's hope he's far less of a douchebag than his fellow guitar player.

Parker had previously been involved in a roller coaster relationship with Jeffery Dean Morgan.

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On the surface, it would appear as though Adam Lambert has little in common with Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

But the American Idol runner-up can relate to the hottest rumored couple in Hollywood in one significant way: for months, Lambert - quietly and with class - dealt with rumors of his homosexuality.

He barely commented on the topic, choosing instead to let his performances speak for themselves. Eventually, he admitted his sexual orientation to Rolling Stone in June.

Sound familiar? Everyone assumes Rob and Kristen are dating, everyone is fine with that, yet no one knows for certain.

Robsten Bubbled

As the media bears down, Robert Pattinson wants to come clean with reporters. But Kristen Stewart is distracted by her man's sex appeal.

According to In Touch Weekly, though, the couple is prepared to follow Lambert's lead and go public with its romance in December. That tabloid claims Robsten will give a tell-all interview to Harper's Bazaar.

Says a source, regarding Pattinson and Stewart's conversation with the publication: “Rob and Kristen were relatively open about their relationship."

Only time will tell if this interview actually takes place. Until then, we're sure desperate celebrity gossip rags will publish misleading reports about the state of Robsten and its future as a couple.

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Note to Miley Cyrus: if you want people to respect your privacy, try keeping things private.

In an interview with the Associated Press, the singer - who posts every waking thought on Twitter and takes fans inside her closet for obnoxious YouTube videos - whined about the way she's treated.

Pic of Miley Cyrus

"I think it is all about respect. People forget that when you are in the public eye; people forget you still have to respect people and you still have to (respect) their privacy," Cyrus said, citing zero examples of how she's been disrespected.

Cyrus had another message for critics: leave my parents alone!

"Trust the fact that my parents are raising me just like everyone else is raising their kids," she said. "They are doing it the way they want to. It is not for the media or for any one else to judge how they should or should not raise me."

As always, this is where Miley is disconnected from reality: she's not a normal teenager. She's a world famous celebrity. When she dances like a stripper, and her father defends the act, they both will be judged.

If you don't want the criticism, Miles, act like other singers your age - such as Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato - and stop creating such controversy.

Professionally, Cyrus hints at the end of Hannah Montana. She says she wants more adult movie parts.

"I love doing Hannah Montana, but I want to continue doing things that are a little bit more darker roles. That is kind of who I am and where I find most of my inspiration in movies like that."

Based on her upcoming movie, The Last Song, films are also where she finds her latest boy toy.

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A couple weeks ago, it was Lea Michelle possibly outsinging Rihanna with a version of "Take a Bow."

This week, it was the William McKinley High School football team pulling an unusual play from its playbook: a pre-fly route dance to Beyonce's "Single Ladies."

Due to its connection to pop culture, as well as its general awesomeness, we'll often treat viewers to a clip from the Fox hit Glee.

On the latest episode, the struggling football team came up with a way to distract its opponent just long enough to score the game-winning touchdown.

Granted, there may have been a few false starts, as well as a delay of game penalty, along the way - but fast forward to the two-and-a-half minute mark below to watch an example of what makes this series so unique and entertaining:

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Ashley Greene is pretty much famous for two reasons:

  1. Her role as Alice Cullen in the Twilight Saga.
  2. Nude photos that were leaked in August.

While it's a given the actress wants everyone to forget about the latter, she actually hopes people will eventually ignore the former, as well.

A Concert Goer

In the latest issue of Saturday Night magazine, Greene says she hopes not to be typecast by her iconic vampire role.

“Maybe [Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson] will kind of have a little bit more of a shadow behind them that always links them to Twilight. Alice is a vampire, yes, but she has this human heart. She’s really lovable and really likable, sort of like the best friend, and so I think that might help me in the other films. I think the fans already love me and love Alice. I think it’s a positive."

It's a problem many actors face: never being seen as any character but the one that made them famous.

Greene tries not to worry about that.

"I don’t think I’m going to be pigeonholed... I get to kind of choose my films, which hopefully I will choose wisely and build off of that versus pissing the fans off. I want to do an action film just because there’s already a bit of action in Twilight, and when I did it I absolutely took to it and loved it.”

Ashley will next be seen in New Moon, which opens on November 20. Click on the pics below for more shots of her in Saturday Night:

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When Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom get married on Sunday, it will mark the couple's one-month anniversary.

That may seem like a quick courtship to some, but sometimes true love conquers all and there's simply no need to delay the inevitable.

Other times, one half of the couple stars on a reality TV show and wants to create an exciting storyline for it.

“It’s happening so quickly because of the show. They want to create some drama for the cameras. Meetings and decisions are being delayed to the last minute," a source told People of the ceremony, which will be filmed for Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Incredibly in Love

Khloe even has a model to follow: Kendra Wilkinson's televised wedding to Hank Baskett earned Kendra its highest ratings ever.

There's also a reason why The Bachelor continues to air on ABC: people love contrived, forced, attention-grabbing love stories.

“It creates a lot of buzz that the wedding is being planned and happening within such a short period of time,” said an insider. “It’s going to make for huge ratings, and Khloe and Lamar are sure about everything, so they all figured, ‘Why not?!'"

How long do you think this union will last for?

 

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Megan Fox has said that director Michael Bay is like Hitler and that women are in charge of men, due to the power of their vaginas.

Still, she may have uttered her silliest, most ironic quote in the October issue of Nylon.

The actress covers that publication's It Girl edition and says in it:

"I think that I'm really overexposed... I don't want to be in magazines every week and on the Internet everyday. I don’t want to have people get completely sick of me before I’ve ever even done something legitimate."

That legitimate act might actually take place this weekend, as Fox hosts Saturday Night Live. But telling a magazine that you don't want to be in magazines is more ironic that rain on one's wedding day.

Mediocre Photo

Do you like Megan Fox?