Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Danielle Staub is intent on destroying all our senses.

First, this Real Housewife of New Jersey ruined our eye sight forever by starring in a sex tape.

Now, the nauseating reality star is taking aim at our hearing, as she appeared on last night's Watch What Happens Live on Bravo and actually sung. The single is titled "Real Close" and, be warned, the time it takes to get through is something you'll never get back...

Only one question now remains. Which song is worse: This, LuAnn de Lesseps' “Money Can’t Buy You Class” or Kim Zolciak’s "Tardy for the Party?"

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Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner touched down in Sweden yesterday, as their global Eclipse promotional tour is nearing its conclusion.

The pair has posed for photos in Australia and in Rome already, but will return to Los Angeles by Thursday for the world premiere of this Twilight Saga installment.

Tomorrow night, meanwhile, fans should tune in to ABC at 10 p.m. EST, as Taylor and Kristen are joined by Robert Pattinson and others for the primetime special, Jimmy Kimmel Live’s Twilight Saga: Total Eclipse of the Heart. We love that title.

Click on the following pics of Stewart and Lautner in Stockholm for larger versions of them...

  • Taylor and Kristen Pose
  • Stewart in Sweden
  • In Sweden
  • Another Eclipse Promotional Shoot

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Jessie Lunderby is a detention officer in Arkansas. She dreams about becoming an undercover cop one day, which is ironic...

... because her new Playboy.com spread has men dreaming about her, under their covers!

But the blonde beauty, who has been named Cyber Girl of the Week by that magazine, has come under fire for her decision to pose naked. In fact, KSLA News reports Lunderby was placed on "administrative leave" for the photo, even though she says she cleared it with her bosses and it was taken on her own time.

Specifically, the Fayetteville native s being investigated for "conduct unbecoming of an officer."

  • Jessie Lunderby Picture
  • Jessie Lunderby Photo

Hey, someone that wears even less clothing than Miley Cyrus!

But does that really apply in this case? Lunderby actions have no bearing whatsoever on her job. Does the Washington County Sheriff's Office really have control over the decisions its employees make in their free time?

That's the question we're asking readers now: Should Jessie Lunderby receive any punishment for her Playboy photos?

 

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In her recent defense of her new image, Miley Cyrus said"I feel more comfortable" dressing in the type of attire she's donned on stage over the last few weeks.

To this, we say: Come on, Miles.

Kendall Jenner Fashion

There's no earthly way any human being can be comfortable in the outfits you wore at the 2010 MuchMusic Video Awards on Sunday night. We've already gone off on the black ensemble, so allow us to say this about the other one featured below:

Yech! We feel disgusting even writing this, but there's no way the world should get such an up-close view of how closely you shave down there. You're 17. Please, please put it away.

Which Miley Cyrus outfit is more ridiculous?

 

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While Kris Allen received many birthday wishes yesterday, Lee DeWyze recently signed a record deal and Adam Lambert continues to make headlines, let's not forget about David Archuleta.

That former American Idol finalist has carved out a nice career for himself, establishing a rabid fan base, releasing two albums and promoting a book titled "Chords of Strength: A Memoir of Soul, Song and the Power of Perseverance."

Archie performed in Idaho earlier this week and included two new singles in his set list: "Not a Very Good Liar" and "Parachutes and Airplanes."

It's unclear when David will release a new CD, but expect these songs to be included on it. What do you think of them?

Continue Reading...

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Heather Mills has successfully dug for gold - now she wants to win some!

Paul McCartney's ex-wife shared a dream with The Daily Express in Great Britain this week: she wants to compete at the 2014 Winter Paralympic Games.

Ugly Hair

“I’ve been skiing for many years... I’m training hard to try to get on the British Paralympic downhill team," said Mills, who lost a leg in a 1993 motorcycle accident. "You know when you set in your head things that you want to do and achieve? Well, I’ve ticked about 90 percent of all the boxes, and this is one of the major ones remaining for me."

Hmmm... we wonder which box this photo of of the former call girl fell into.

Added Heather: “If I manage to compete, it would be phenomenal – very inspiring for all the kids that I counsel. They didn’t believe they could do anything and they are now trying ice skating and roller blading and biking and swimming, which is wonderful.”

And all because of her influence, of course.

Mills competed on Dancing with the Stars in 2007. Her performance on that program made England's 2010 World Cup team look dominant by comparison.

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Yawn. The sight of Danielle Staub topless is common place for anyone that has purchase this reality star's sex tape.

But, fortunately, that excerpt on last night's episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey was one of the only boring clips from an otherwise entertaining hour of ridiculous television. As usual, our Real Housewives correspondent is on the case, recapping the insanity below...

Did anyone miss Dina?  I didn’t!  I completely forgot about her absence and found this week’s installment to be one of the most enjoyable of the season. It seemed to have three main components:

  1. Danielle’s wonky boobs and how they were made beautiful... she hopes. 
  2. Prince Albie flunking out of law school and Caroline going all civil right-sy about it.
  3. Teresa throwing a housewarming party for herself that we know full well she can’t afford.

Let’s go through them one at a time, shall we?

The Housewives Girl

Okay, let’s start with Danielle and her jankety boobs.  She’s had three previous “augmentations” (I hate that word), none of which turned out well.  Evidently she also got a staph infection in one of her boobs and now it’s all lopsided and hard.  If you’re feeling the chunks beginning to rise, you might want to pause and grab your barf bucket now because it only gets worse from here.

Danielle meets with a plastic surgeon in his office in a strip mall.  Evidently Franklin Lakes is one never ending strip mall.  Of the freak boob she explains, “It’s hard, it’s cold, it doesn’t get the body temperature like my body.”  She goes on, “I do suffer because of the breast implants.  It causes a lot of pain for me.  Every day, every minute of every hour of every day.” 

Tears pool in our eyes - what this woman has had to endure!

Upon first sight of Danielle’s rack the doc exclaims, “I do obviously think that you need an operation, without a doubt.  I am going to have to have one of the leading revision breast surgeons in the country take a look at you.”  We imagine Danielle must be saying to herself, “Hey, fourth one’s the charm, right?” 

If I were her I’d just hack them off and wear a padded bra with some chicken cutlets from here on out, but not our girl!

Danielle Staub Shirtless

Later, Danielle heads in to get her breast surgery.  We are treated to another look of Danielle’s blurred-out boobs and we gag and cover our eyes.  She wants us to know that she is a natural girl at heart who normally shuns such vain cosmetic procedures.  We look upon her freakishly high eyebrows, protruding cheekbones, and overly plumped lips and we totally believe her.  

“Nature’s been very good to me so far,” says Danielle.  “Getting my breasts done is really out of necessity.  It wasn’t for aesthetic reasons.  Umm, I want to be very clear about that.”  I think we’re clear about what’s going on, Danielle, but are you? 

Once in the operating room, we get to enjoy even more blurred-out boob action.  Her doctor tells those assembled around Danielle’s naked torso, “She has one of the biggest deformities ever.  It’s depressed.”  This last bit is in reference to the misshapen bubbie but he really could be talking about how all of us feel while watching this show, couldn’t he? 

The doctors squeeze and smush her boob around as they ridicule it.  As the camera pulls away from the “Surgical Center” we see it has a partially burned-out sign and is in, you guessed it, a strip mall.

Now on to Prince Albie and his poor wittle problem with law school.  Albie tells mommy that he isn’t doing so hot in law school. 

Continue Reading...

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Ty Lawson is a back-up point guard for the Dencer Nuggets.

And he wants to win a championship so badly that he's willing to go where no man... okay, where many men have gone before: into Kim Kardashian!

Following Reggis Bush and the New Orleans Saints' Super Bowl victory in February, and Lamar Odom's NBA title with the Lakers last week, Lawson has realized the key to going all the way is to... go all the way - with a Kardashian sister!

He hilariously Tweeted today: "I heard if u hit a kardashian i win a championship .. Kim k holla me!!! I need ya for 17 min. I'll take one for the team lol"

  • Kim Leaving a Kar
  • Ty Lawson

Though there have been no photos and no named sources to back it up, Kim is rumored to be dating Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin.

As Lawson writes, if Dallas wins a championship next season, "then this thing is amazing."

There are two caveats to the baller's theory, however: Ray J and Scott Disick are still major losers.

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The ridiculous outfit donned by host Miley Cyrus may have been a source of controversy at last night's MuchMusic Video Awards ceremony in Toronto, but we can top it.

Both Kellan Lutz and Justin Bieber walked the red carpet at this event, creating teenage girls to scream at decibel levels typically reserved for fighter planes.

But it would be too easy for fans to simply drool over this Twilight Saga hunk and 16-year old singing sensation. We must challenge our readers on a daily basis and, therefore, have posted photos of these hunks below.

Ogle them and then vote...

  • Not Shirtless
  • Just So Adorable

[Photos: Splash News]

Who looked hotter on the red carpet?

 

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Just two episodes into the third season of True Blood, HBO has renewed this drama for a fourth season.

With ratings for its premiere last week up 38% from the opening episode of June 2009, President of HBO Programming Michael Lombardo said it was an easy decision to make.

A True Blood Poster

“The new season of True Blood is off to a terrific start, as enthusiasm for this unique show continues to build among both subscribers and critics. We’re looking forward to more chills from Alan Ball and his gifted team next year.

"I am beyond thrilled to be able to continue working with this amazing cast and crew. This is the most fun I have ever had.”

The same can be said for viewers each week. Men are treated to blood, violence and breasts, while women often see Alexander Skarsgard nude. Both genders win!

** For a review of last night's True Blood episode, visit our friends at TV Fanatic NOW!

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