Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Kourtney Kardashian is so special.

On Monday, she Tweeted the following, incredible news: "My baby is moving like crazy! Going to try and relax and sleep."

Kards on the Karpet

Thank goodness she alerted followers to that crucial information, but wouldn't it actually be more newsworthy if the child was NOT moving at this point in her pregnancy?

Kourtney Kardashian: Pregnant, Tweeting, crying out for attention.

Meanwhile, shady baby daddy Scott Disick is continuing to say whatever will make him sound like a responsible father-to-be.

"We're home every night looking at baby books and baby magazines," he told Us Weekly. "I just want to stay home with her, enjoy her company, look at her stomach and be with her."

And speak to any celebrity gossip tabloid that calls, of course.

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We gotta hand it to The Vampire Diaries.

Accused of being a rip-off of the Twilight Saga, even though the aforementioned book series came out prior to Stephanie Meyer's novels, The CW hit winked at the controversy this week.

During an exchange with another character, Damon Salvatore - played brilliantly by Ian Somerhalder - puts down the book he's been reading and says:

What's so special about this Bella girl? Edward's so whipped!

We almost spit out our Strawberry Kimi Gatorade at the line. Damon then says the book "has it all wrong," regarding how humans are turned into vampires. It was a funny, unexpected moment; one we hope Twilight fans have a sense of humor about.

Damon Salvatore Picture

Considering the rave reviews Somerhalder has been receiving, it might be more apt to now ask again: Who makes the hotter pretend vampire?

 

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Jon Gosselin says his kids are sick of being on TV.

Kate Gosselin disagrees.

And the world is riveted, as these former life partners continue to set a terrible example for their children by airing every disagreement in a public, immature, bitter manner.

The latest war of words is based on Jon's legal maneuver to halt production on the revamped TLC series, Kate Plus 8. Suddently, as soon as he's no longer part of the show, Jon has chosen to look out for the well-being of his offspring, according to manager Mike Heller.

"Jon has been talking to TLC for a long time to cut back on the production and still honor his contract – because it's been getting in the way of his family, his children are complaining," Heller said.

  • So Douchey
  • New Fan Favorite

Kate, not hiding behind a rep, countered:

"I'm saddened and confused by Jon's public media statements. Jon has never expressed any concerns to me about our children being involved in the show and, in fact, is on the record as saying he believes the show benefits our children.

"I check in regularly with each of the kids to be sure they want to participate in and continue with the show and will continue to do so... It appears that Jon's priority is Jon and his interests. My priority remains our children."

Sorry, readers, but it's time to choose a side in this battle. Whose are you on?

 

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You've finally met your match, Robert Pattinson.

While tickets for The Twilight Saga: New Moon have been selling out faster than Kim Kardashian when faced with a QuickTrim offer, the film is no longer Fandango's most popular selection.

Instead, the film site ranks Michael Jackson's This Is It as the most anticipated flick of the fall season. MovieTickets.com agrees; it's already recoreded over 550 sellouts of the behind-the-scenes concert documentary.

This Is It

This Is It opens on October 28. It will only run for two weeks and will show footage of Jackson rehearsing for his final tour; an event, sadly, that never took place.

Last year, of course, Disney billed Best of Both Worlds, starring Miley Cyrus, as a one-week-only event. It earned $31 million opening weekend - and ended up running for four months.

In other words: if you don't have tickets for the MJ documentary yet, don't worry. We have a feeling it will be around for awhile.

** UPDATE: New autopsy results have been leaked out, and the coroner has determined Jackson weighed 136 pounds at the time of his death; was actively producing sperm; and has been deemed "fairly healthy" at the time of his passing.

This won't help Conrad Murray's case. It sounds like the doctor's dose of Propofol really did Jackson in.

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Finally, Miley Cyrus has an idea of what it's like to sit through her endless, self-serving stream of Twitter posts.

Having come down with a case of strep throat, the singer has taken to her message board like never before; which is saying a lot for someone that cries herself a river on Twitter pretty much every day already.

Miles Photo

Since being diagnosed with the ailment (which millions of people get every year and for which there's a simple antibiotic) late Tuesday night, Miley has Tweeted the following:

  • "Woke up with a sore throat. Why am I always sick? Strep is the worst thing ever."
  • "Laying in bed with @mommytish. She is my patience, my peace, and my LOVE. She is a miracle worker. Her 'cuddle time' is the best medicine."
  • "These are the times that my daddy REALLY comes in handy. He made me smile through the worst pain I've ever felt."
  • "Nurse Noah is taking good care of me tonight. I just put on a 'Snuggie' and ate a popsicle."

You know, Miles, it's hard to respect your privacy when you let us into every minutiae of your life.

We can say one nice thing about Cyrus:

During a performance in Salt Lake City on Tuesday, she turned pale, ran offstage - and managed to return to the stage 15 minutes later. Gotta give her props for that toughness.

But not much else.

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Thanks to what her rep is referring to as a "medical miracle," Padma Lakshmi is pregnant with her first child.

The Top Chef host has struggled for years with endometriosis, a problem in which the uterus' lining grows irregularly, causing pain, bleeding and possible infertility.

"As a result of her condition, this pregnancy has been referred to by her physician as nothing short of a medical miracle, and due to its delicate nature, we ask/implore the press to respect Ms. Lakshmi's privacy at this time," said her representative.

The father is unknown at this time, but please join us in wishing Lakshmi a hearty congratulations!

Padma Lakshmi Picture

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In an update to the story of a man so immature and self-centered he makes his five-year old kids look like adults, TLC has suspended shooting on Kate Plus 8.

The network has been forced to do so by Jon Gosselin, who had no problem exploiting his children and introducing them to young new play thing Hailey Glassman... as long as he received a paycheck in return.

But now that he's been let go from the series that made him famous, Gosselin has sent a letter threatening legal action if cameramen step foot on his property.

A Crying Baby

His pathetic wish has been granted, but at least the network got in a few shots at the overweight numbskull in the process. It released the following statement:

We are aware of Jon Gosselin's recent statements, and remain deeply disappointed at his continued erratic behavior. He and the family were shooting as recently as last Friday, without incident, and his latest comments are grossly inaccurate, without merit and are clearly opportunistic.

Despite Jon Gosselin's repeated self destructive and unprofessional actions, he remains under an exclusive contract with TLC.  Direct filming of the children has been currently suspended, pending further conversations between both parents.

Translation: if you see Jon Gosselin on the street, throw mud at him. This guy sucks.

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Looks like Madonna won't be getting married again after all.

With rumors swirling over a possible engagement to boyfriend Jesus Luz, the 51-year icon appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman last night and responded to a question about re-marrying with this nugget:

I'd rather get run over by a train.

Among other topics covered between Madonna and the host, who clearly have great chemistry together:

  • The singer's history with Alex Rodriguez;
  • Letterman's controversial joke about ARod and Bristol Palin;
  • Madonna's favorite pizza toppings (when asked what she likes on her pie, the sex-minded star replied: "That's a very personal question.")

Watch clips from the segment below, which included a dinner date between the pair at an actual NYC pizzeria:

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Might this put to rest the Lady GaGa hermaphrodite rumors?

(We can't believe we just wrote that sentence.)

But the controversial singer sparked controversy in early August by appearing on stage and posing with a certain appendage seemingly hanging from her crotch.

She's since said her vagina is "very offended" by the penis chatter, but such a defense hasn't quieted all critics. Perhaps the following images will.

During a concert at Washington D.C.'s Constitution Hall this week, the last stop on her Fame Ball Tour, Lady GaGa performed without pants - and, based on visual evidence, without any male private parts. Where would they be hiding in the pictures below?

  • Penis Free
  • Smooth Buttocks

Lady Gaga appears to be well-shaven, oddly dressed and penis free. [Photos: Splash News]

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We already knew Jon Gosselin was a douchebag, a womanizer and a terrible father.

Now, we've learned he's also a cry baby.

The reality TV star - who was essentially fired from the TLC series that made him famous, as it will be renamed Kate Plus 8 and focus on his ex-wife, starting next month - has taken legal action to halt production on the program.

Jon's attorney, Mark Jay Heller, sent the following letter to TLC this week, following the announcement that his client would be booted as a star of the show:

"Effective immediately, no production crews are to enter Jon's family home for any reason. In the event that anyone enters the marital property, Jon Gosselin will notify the local authorities to effectuate police action against any trespassers."

Here's the best part. Check out the actual sign on the family gate, courtesy of INFDaily.com:

Sign

Let's hope Jon's children learn grammar from their mother. This not how you spell "penalty." Or "Jonathon." [Photo: INF Daily]

Said Heller, in an attempt to defend his immature client:

"Jon realized his family was like a trainwreck, so he decided to put the brakes on the divorce and on the show... because if he didn't the family would be in a mortal accident... the victims of a trainwreck."

Note to Jon: if your family is like a trainwreck, it's because you're its self-centered, publicity-starved conductor.

Meanwhile, you've gotta read the nonsense Jon's manager, Mike Heller, is spewing.

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