Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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As recounted in our American Idol rundown from last night, we thought Ellen DeGeneres made an outstanding debut as a judge. She was fresh, funny and didn't try to overshadow the contestants.

From most of what we've read online, almost all television critics agree with that assessment.

So we found it odd that Kara DioGuardi spoke to E! News today and defended her new cohort from attacks on her Idol premiere, attacks we weren't aware existed.

"How it's edited and what you see is very different from my experience," Kara said. "I remember just thinking she was very funny and critical and had heart... It's edited in a specific way. It has to be. It has to be about the contestants."

The sentiment is nice, but it's hard for DioGuard not to come across as condescending, considering how many viewers don't like her very much.

The Judging Panel

Kara added that it was impossible to compare Ellen and the woman in whose seat she occupies.

"Paula and Ellen [are] completely different, and I think they both bring something valuable to the table... It's something that takes time to get used to, and I think [Ellen] did an incredible job for her first time there."

So do we! So do most people we've talked to.

In closing, DioGuardi said "I would love to see a girl win" and, based on one night of Hollywood auditions, she may get see that hope come true. Didi Benami, Crystal Bowersox, Haeley Vaughn and Janell Wheeler all stood out this week.

What did you think of Ellen as a judge?

 

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While Tiger Woods tries to piece his life back together, isn't it nice to see his most famous mistress using her promiscuity to land a new job?

Sources confirm that Extra has hired Rachel Uchitel as a special correspondent. Her qualifications as a reporter? She has slept with Woods, Derek Jeter and Bones star David Boreanaz.

Said a representative for this shameless entertainment news program:

"A very special episode of 'The Hot List' airs this coming weekend on Extra Weekend, including Rachel Uchitel as "Extra's" 'ultimate insider,' who will report on what's hot in Hollywood on this week's episode."

Insert your preferred, easy punchline now. We'll go with either: Numerous male celebrities would agree, it's ultimately a cinch to get insider her.

OR:

You better get checked for STDs, The Hot List, you aren't exactly the first thing Uchitel has been on recently.

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Yesterday, we showered Angelina Jolie with praise due to her personal involvement in so many charitable causes, the latest of which being the earthquake in Haiti.

For irrational, jealous reasons, however, many haters commented that Jolie only pretends to care about the less fortunate because it helps her image.

There's no proof of this, merely the assumption that someone who once acted strangely (i.e. wore a vial of Billy Bob Thornton's blood around her neck) couldn't possibly have a selfless bone in her body. We find this narrow-minded and absurd.

But even if we were to grant the premise that Jolie has ulterior motives for her actions, we ask readers: SO WHAT?

Does that make her money any less helpful to the charities it is given to? Does this make her presence any less inspiring to the Haitians she visited this week?

Jolie in Haiti

Instead of taking wild guesses about what's going on inside Angelina's mind and heart, why not look at the actions themselves:

She and Brad Pitt have donated $1 million to relief efforts in Haiti. She visited the SOS NGO Village for children in Port-au-Prince yesterday, along with the Doctors Without Borders hospital in the region.

You want to believe this is all some calculated PR move? Go right ahead, even though we pity you for taking such a cynical, negative stance.

But in an era where Kim Kardashian is admired by millions for posing on the red carpet, isn't it refreshing to see Jolie on the front lines of poverty, regardless of her internal motivations for being there?

The people of Haiti sure think so. Watch their reaction to Angelina in the video below.

Continue Reading...

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In a new interview with Playboy, John Mayer makes sure to say that he's NOT a douchebag.

He then spends the entire interview proving why so many people consider him to be a giant douchebag.

We'll let Mayer dig his own douchey grave below, as he recounts what it was like to sleep with Jessica Simpson and why he and Jennifer Aniston broke up...

On sex with Simpson: That girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy... It was like sexual napalm. Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just f*ckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to f*ck you, I would start selling all my s*** just to keep f*cking you.'"

On Aniston: That woman was the most communicative, sweetest, kindest person.

On their break-up: There was a rumor that I'd been dumped because I was tweeting too much. That wasn't it, but that was a big difference. The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter... She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction.

THG note: In other words... that was it.

Douche on the Mic

On current sex life: I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don't like jumping through hoops.

On NOT being a douchebag: From now on I’m just going to pretend that people really dig the s*** out of me. I've been trying to prove to people I'm not a douchebag by not dating, by keeping my name out of Us Weekly. That's f*cked up, man. I'm not dating. I'm not even f*cking. So now I'm going to experiment with 'f*ck you.'

John, your dating life has nothing to do with the public's perception of you. What might make people think you're a douchebag?

Rambling, nonsensical interviews about masturbation and sexual napalm that make you sound like an attention-hungry tool. Or, to use a more apt description: a douchebag.

** UPDATE: WHOA! New excerpts from the interview have been leaked, and they paint Mayer as far more than just a douchebag. Read below.

Continue Reading...

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While Kim Kardashian is off celebrating the Saints Super Bowl victory with Reggie Bush, it sounds like her sister has far more pressing issues to deal with in her relationship.

If you believe skeezy supermarket tabloids, that is.

The latest issue of In Touch Weekly claims Kourtney has been betrayed - sorry, BETRAYED! - by her baby's daddy, Scott Disick.

As you can see, the cover claims that Scott was caught with another woman and Kourtney discovered suspcious text messages on his phone, Elin Nordegren style.

The odds of either of these stories being backed up with evidence? Lower than Jake Pavelka actually marrying this season's winner on The Bachelor.

The odds that the Kardashian PR team paid to have this cover story made, in order for Kourtney to deny it and garner sympathy/attention? Very high.

There actually might be some legitimacy to accusations that Disick is not the father of Mason Dash, though. Rumors that Michael Girgenti actually implanted his semen into Kourtney started to spread in December.

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Lying about pregnancy is sooooo last week. The new attention-grabbing fad?

Inventing a stalker! Isn't that right, Tila Tequila?

With buzz dying down over her fake baby, the extraordinarily troubled celebrity has resorted to a new story in order to remain in the news: someone is supposedly stalking her.

Police cars were summoned to Tila's San Fernando Valley house yesterday, as they responded to a distress call from the reality TV star. She claimed there was a man in a car sitting outside her property and that he had been there for two weeks.

Dangerous Kiss

In a stunning turn of events, though, officers searched the scene and found no trace of anyone. But Tila insists she's telling the truth.

"There's been a psycho stalker and he's getting closer to my door and tried to get in," she lied to Radar Online. "He's been sitting in the rain for days trying to say hi to me. He put his eye up to my door and was trying to peek in."

Hmmm... we wonder if he saw her making love to her baby daddy in that case.

Last April, Tequila claimed someone broke into her home and posted messages on her Twitter account. Police were suspicious because the messages were actually coherent and full of truth, but no arrests were made.

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Thank goodness it's Hollywood week on American Idol. Goodbye embarrassing contestants, hello major talent!

Before we get to that talent, however, let's also greet Ellen DeGeneres... with open arms. Wasn't she great on her first night as a judge? The comedian was funny (we loved when she had singers moving all around the stage before letting each one through), but also fresh and straightforward.

Ellen won't be Paula Abdul 2.0, sugarcoating every critique and covering up bad performances by telling the contestants how nice they look. She'll bring the criticism, but in a humorous fashion, such as when she told one dude his routine "scared" her and resembled a leopard stalking his prey.

There were also no contrived cat fights, nothing that Ellen did to bring attention to herself. She seemed steady, focused and, of course, funny.

As for the best of the night...

Didi Benami has finalist written all over her. She came across as a more polished Brooke White, strumming her guitar and bringing an emotional singer/songwriter vibe. Probably our favorite performance.

But the "infectious, real" Crystal Bowersox, as Simon put it, was a close second. She also relied on her guitar and had fellow contestants applauding before she even completed "Natural Woman."

The third impressive female was Haeley Vaughn. Only 16, she offers a unique pop/country sound and a healthy dose of charisma. We were very happy to see her advance.

Ellen on Idol

Two men stood out, as well:

  1. Andrew Garcia proved that guitar-playing was a theme for the top performers so far, impressing the judges with a soulful acousting rendition of "Straight Up." We wouldn't refer to him as "genius" or compare him to Adam Lambert (closer to Kris Allen), as Kara did, but certainly someone to keep an eye on.
  2. The same can be said for Casey James, and not just because he took off his shirt for his initial, pre-Hollywood audition. We loved his bluesy number... played with the help of a guitar, of course.

Watch all five of these performances in our American Idol video section and then let us know: WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE?

  • Andrew Garcia Pic
  • Casey James Pic
  • Hollywood Audition
  • Crystal Bowersox Pic

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She's a woman of many looks, dressing like a sexy boxer for the music video "Dirrty" and like a burlesque singer other times.

But no matter what kind of outfit Christina Aguilera chooses, a couple things remain the same: this is a gorgeous artist with a cute son and a beautiful voice.

We can't just leave it at that, however. What fun would that be?

For her next video, or her next night, out, Christina might be choosing between the contrasting styles below and she needs your help. Which do you prefer?

What is Christina Aguilera's best look?

 

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Shame on you, Kendra Wilkinson. You're a mother now. It's time to set a good example.

Not a week has gone by in 2010 where Kendra has not been featured on the cover of a supermarket tabloid. She's not exactly talented. She needs to make money somehow. We get that.

But the latest issue of OK! Weekly continues a disturbing trend by magazines across the nation, most notably this pathetic rag: the focus on post-pregnancy weight loss.

Even Kourtney Kardashian acknowledges that it's perfectly acceptable to not return to a size two immediately upon giving birth. One is tired, one is taking care of a newborn, it's quite alright if one's figure shows the signs of new motherhood.

But is Kendra willing to take a stand against the unhealthy message that women must go on a strict diet as soon as a baby is no longer in their womb? Not if she can get paid for promoting it!

Bikini and a Baby

Wilkinson says she goes through "45 minutes of hardcore training and weightlifting," followed by the treadmill until she's tired. She also does squats and lunges. Hey, it's easy to find time for this routine when you have no actual job and can pay a nanny to look after your son.

Kendra's goal? To look like Kim Kardashian.

"She can be my motivation to try and get the best booty in Hollywood!" she tells the magazine.

THG's goal? For everyone to boycott OK! Weekly. Will you help us make this into a reality?

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Women might be calling for his head on a platter, and some golf fans may be warming up their pipes to taunt him from the stands, but at least one person is standing by Tiger Woods.

Sort of.

Reverend Ricky Kirton, the pastor who officiated the marriage between Woods and Elin Nordegren, has the following message for the couple:

"Forgive each other. Be there for each other, and it will work out."

Kirton told People he "started to pray" for the pair soon after Tiger's infiedlity leaked out. He then started to shake his head and laugh uncontrollably as the number of cheating stories piled up. Just kidding about the second part.

  • What Elin Knew
  • What They're Hiding

Because Tiger Woods is out of rehab and still with his wife, we're sure the tabloid coverage will stop... not!

Of course, Kirton hasn't spoken to Tiger or Elin since their 2004 wedding. Nor has he ever been married. It's unclear what expertise he can possibly offer on this topic.

All the pastor has are the words of wisdom he offers all engaged couples.

"I tell them to remain true to their vows. I want them to know this is serious and they have to work hard," he said, relaying the advice he delivers: "Remember these four phrases. I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you."

He also might wanna add: get a second cell phone for your mistresses.

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