Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Tila Tequila probably does not deserve to be hit in the face with beer bottles and/or watermelons soaked in urine.

But that's exactly what happened at a concert in Illinois over the weekend, as the mentally unbalanced D-lister refused to heed organizers' warnings about a rowdy crowd, took the stage to rap, refused to walk away when booed - and then got attacked by a bunch of utter morons.

"I contacted my agents and told them my concerns, and my agents contacted the people who run the event, and they swore to us that there'd be a 100 or more security guards and that nothing like that would happen, and that they needed me to go," Tila told E! News last night about the build-up to the incident.

Tequila says the event was "unorganized" and "the atmosphere was really violent."

Once she got on stage to sing her disaster of a single, "I Fucked the DJ," Tila said:

"Everyone started booing, and I was like, 'Alright, this is a violent and tough crowd,' so I went out there just to try and have fun...But immediately before I got up there, things were being thrown, there was so much stuff being thrown, besides just beer bottles."

At one point, she "looked down and saw human poop." That's never fun.

Tequila will clearly milk this scandal for every second and every penny she can. Along those lines, a lawsuit is already in the works.

WATCH THE FULL INTERVIEW WITH E! BELOW.

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Has Danielle Staub really been fired from The Real Housewives of New Jersey?

As viewers consider this strong possibility, they were treated to a new episode of the hilarious/nauseating Bravo series last night. Our THG correspondent has every detail covered. Follow along now...

It struck me tonight:  Watching this show serves the same purpose as visiting a Roman vomitorium.  I feel queasy just changing the channel to Bravo now.  The nausea intensifies as I hear that fakey Godfather-like music start up.  My thoughts begin to race:  Can I handle it one more time or will this be the night that I bash myself over the head with the flat screen? 

Obviously I survived because here I am to share my random musings with you.  Here is the thought that compels me:  One more episode left! Yes, my dearies, we’ve come this far - we can make it to the bitter and horrifying finale.  Let’s all hold hands, say a little prayer, and take a deep breath as we dive in.  It’ll be over soon.

The Housewives Girl

The Housewives, Househusbands, Houseinlaws, Houseelders, and Housebrats dock in Naples. Everyone seems to be excited to get off the ship, especially Teresa’s whiny daughters.  Shirtless Joe bitches as he throws and kicks their 10 million bags down hallways and out of elevators.  He’s grouchier than ever. 

He’s cursing and stomping around having a tantrum.  Teresa tells us that he is pissy because he’s away from his businesses.  I believe that, if by “businesses” she means “half-empty bottles of booze in the basement at home.”

Once aboard the first of several ginormous buses, the nasty touristy kind, Teresa’s girls predictably break down.  Caroline shoots Teresa the snake eye but it is unfortunately ineffective.  “I don’t feel responsible at all if people are in a crappy mood.  That’s on them,” says Teresa.  Later, while exploring their hotel room, the Giudice bambinas discover a bidet, which Teresa refers to as a “beh-deh.” Joe, reminding us that he is a savvy world traveler with infinite knowledge about European culture, adds helpfully, “They’re like douches.”

I never thought I’d be so happy to see the Prostitution Whore and the decrepit lair she haunts but these annoying scenes of Italian tomfoolery are making me crazy.  Danielle reminds her defenseless daughters about her fight with Kim G. and then has a few moments of verbal diarrhea about finding her birth mom. 

At one point Christine uses the word “ass” and Danielle gets all bent out of shape.  “You’re too beautiful and too spiritual to speak like that,” says the woman who runs around town screaming profanities at other women across parking lots.

Filmed in Italy

Discount Danny comes to visit the Prostitution Whore.  They go to have some panini.  Poor Shirtless just wants to enjoy his hot n’ crusty, cheesy n’ olive oily panini but Prostitution insists on yammering away about the other Housewives.  Discount listens as Danielle explains that Ashley “has terroristic tendencies.” 

Danielle is positive she will be attacked by Ashley in the parking lot when she is just trying to get her precious panini.  Discount does a good job pretending to be interested.

Danielle has a private investigator come over so he can begin sleuthing around the backyard turning over rocks and studying the moss carefully with his magnifying glass while he smokes a pipe and twirls his moustache.  Sherlock Holmes doesn’t give her very much hope of finding her teenage birth mom and Danielle lets us know that she wants no drug addicted or homeless biological mommies. She just wants a rich one that will let her inherit a ton of unearned money.

Later Sherlock calls the Prostitution Whore to let her know that finding the records of the birth mom might take up to ten years.  None of us cares one tiny bit, even when Danielle fake cries and tries to act all sensitive and damaged and tells us she’s leaving it in God’s hands.  We don’t care whose hands she’s leaving what in, as long as we don’t have to hear about it anymore.

Back in Italy everyone boards yet another big ass bus to go somewhere, I think to terrorize a small country village.  Shirtless is cursing up a storm while his daughters beat each other senseless.  “Joe on the bus, he was tired, he was cranky, and he was just lashing out at everybody,” Caroline explains.

Everyone is rolling their eyes and making their fingers look like guns ready to blow their brains out as Shirtless slurs and hollers from his seat.  I keep waiting for Albert to yell, “Shuddup already!”  Now a conflict between the dudes would have actually been an entertaining moment in this backed-up sewer of a show.

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Is it possible for a beauty pageant to be too sexy?

That's the question directed at Miss Universe these days, as the organization has posed most of its 2010 contestants in almost nothing but body paint for a new set of promotional images.

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

Miss USA, Rima Fakih, and Miss Trinidad and Tobago, LaToya Woods, show off these looks in the examples below:

Some think these photos go too far.

"It's alarming that this has been turned into a Playboy-esque masquerade," Angie Meyer, a former pageant employee, told Fox News. "By implementing topless photos as part of the pageant process, they're putting applicants in an extremely compromising position."

As opposed to the bathing suit and evening gown segments of the event, which place contestants in uncompromising positions and are not based on appearances?

Responded Lark-Marie Anton, vice president of marketing and public relations for the organization, to the charges of inappropriateness:

"The contestants who compete at Miss Universe are diverse, as they represent more than 82 countries around the globe. Many of their cultures embrace nudity... We feel the images captured are fashionable and cutting edge!"

The Miss Universe pageant airs on August 23. Do you think these pictures cross a line?

 

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According to a new tabloid report, Bravo has finally grown weary of Danielle Staub.

Despite the record ratings The Real Housewives of New Jersey has delivered this season, a source tells Life & Style that the show's most controversial star won't return in 2011.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

"Danielle was told that she would not be returning for a third season," an insider said, describing the firing as "a complete shock" to Staub.

The nut job responded to this rumor by essentially confirming it. In a statement, she said: "I'm not even thinking about season 3 right now as I am considering many incredible options that have been presented to me... next year, I'll still be the one you either love to hate or hate to love."

Oh God, is she referring to a spin-off?!?

Although Staub delivers the sort of scandals and fights that reality TV executives crave, new, extremely sordid details about her drug-dealing past came to light last week.

Combined with a sex tape, there's only so much a network can ignore.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey concludes this season on August 23 - and then airs two more reunion specials on August 30 and September 6. If Staub really is being let go, Bravo will milk every last possible second of publicity it can out of her craziness.

Would you be sad to see Danielle fired?

 

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Remember the name Rooney Mara. You'll be hearing it often over the next couple years.

This relatively unknown actress has beaten out a number of major stars - such as Kristen Stewart and Scarlett Johansson - and landed the female lead in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. She'll star as Lisbeth Salander in the big screen adaptation of Stieg Larsson's best-selling novel.

Rooney Mara Picture

Mara appeared in A Nightmare on Elm Street and also has a role in this fall's The Social Network opposite Justin Timberlake.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo starts shooting next month in Sweden. Daniel Craig has already signed on as Mikael Blomkvist, while Robin Wright is rumored to play his character's love interest in the film. It will come out on December 21, 2011.

What do you think of Rooney Mara in this beloved role?

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Following a firestorm created by her bikini-based pictorial last month, Kendall Jenner released a well-reasoned, mature statement that quieted most critics.

Father Bruce Jenner then came out and defended his 14-year old daughter.

Not much has been mentioned about the photos since, but you wouldn't expect the Kardashians to not milk a publicity opportunity for every second and ounce of sympathy they can, would you?

With that in mind, Khloe Kardashian and Kris Jenner have now spoken out about the pics.

"She looks better than most 20-year-olds in their bikinis," Khloe told Us Weekly, making an irrelevant point and then adding:

"In the modeling world, being 14 is actually middle age. Kimora Lee Simmons was walking for Chanel in Paris at age 12; no one commented when she did that. So if you want to speak in modeling perspective, you have to live in a modeling world. Not that many people are putting it in that perspective. They're just thinking, 'Oh, Kendall Jenner. Let’s talk some crap.'"

Now, for Kris Jenner's take:

"One of her lifelong passions is to be a model, and it’s something she’s really excited about. [The bikini photos] are tasteful, she’s covered up completely and they’re not provocative. They’re just gorgeous shots."

Look, Kardashians, no one is accusing Kendall of being ugly. Her looks aren't exactly the point.

No one is accusing Montana Fishburne of being ugly, either, and she claims porn has been her lifelong passion. Sometimes, though, parents must step in when their children aren't old enough to make adult decisions. That's all anyone is saying here.

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In a new interview, Lea Michele proves she has a very sexy side and, also, very good taste in men.

The actress rarely has a chance show off much of the former on Glee, as she portrays the straight-laced Rachel Berry. But she gets to be seductive and alluring in a shoot for celebrity hairdresser Mark Townsend’s official website.

Michele is also asked who she'd like to see guest star on her hit Fox show and replied with an answer we share: “Justin Timberlake would be the perfect Glee guest star: He sings, he dances, and he’s hilarious.”

Recent Glee spoilers hint that this may actually take place on the Super Bowl episode of the musical comedy. Commence fist-pumping, fans!

GO BEHIND THE SCENE OF MICHELE'S SEXY SHOOT IN THE VIDEO BELOW.

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In the Least Shocking News of the Year department, Steven Slater has reportedly been offered a reality show.

Multiple sources inside the industry confirm that Stone Entertainment  - the production company behind such gems as The Mole and The Man Show -  has approached the world's most famous flight attendant to host a program that focuses on workers quitting their jobs in extreme ways.

In a world in which Mario Lopez gets a reality show simply because he knocked up his girlfriend, does this come as a surprise to anyone?

What would you title a Steven Slater reality show?

Of course, the deal is contingent on most of Slater's story actually being true. Over the last few days, various passengers aboard his JetBlue flight say Slater instigated the ugly incident between himself and a woman that led to his abrupt, slide-based resignation.

Donald Trump has since called Slater "a wacko," while video of the hilarious escape has surfaced. Watch it NOW!

Regardless of the validity of his tale, we hope a Slater reality series comes to fruition. Just imagine the possible titles:

  • Protect Runway
  • Once in a Blue Moon
  • The Biggest Losers
  • Beer Slide for the Queer Guy
  • So You Think You Can Get Up From Your Seat Before the Plane Comes to a Complete Stop
  • American Idles... on the Tarmac While the FAA Inspects JetBlue Plane

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Justin Bieber is a wanted young man - and we aren't just referring to the singer's popularity among teenage girls!

The artist joined hip hop star Drake on stage this weekend in Indianapolis, rapping along to "Bet I Ever Had."

Said Drake to the sold-out crowd: "This kid is part of something special. You know we're both from Canada... so you know I can't forget ol' J. Beezy. That's my dawg."

As you might expect, those in attendance went crazy when this dawg was let out of his adorable cage. Check it out:

Elsewhere, the possible future Glee guest star is being recruited by an even bigger name in the industry: Kanye West.

In a series of recent Tweets, the rapper - who has come out with a new, controversial video for "Power" - wrote of his affection for a Bieber single and proposed a collaboration between the pair:

Yo this Runaway Love is the truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on my 17th listen 2day!!! Every time I get to that song I got go in 4 times!! And I'm honored that you like my Music @JustinBieber!!! Maybe we can do something together.

What would you think of a Bieber/Kanye duet? Too good to be true? Or two artists too different to pull it off?

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