Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

at . Comments

In January, sources stated that Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green might be engaged again.

Now, a new report suggests this couple might be engaged again... again.

So Very Alluring

According to Us Weekly, the actor proposed to the sexiest woman on the planet on June 1. He allegedly presented Fox with a two-carat ring while on vacation in Hawaii. There's just one hiccup: it's been lost.

"I saw her jumping up and down," a witness said of the proposal at the Four Seasons Hualalai hotel. "Later, I saw a half dozen staff sifting through the sand."

Another source added that "security and maintenance staff spent a couple of hours looking for it. No one found it."

(THG note: It's in our pants, Megan. Come looking for it any time.)

This report may be featured in the same Us Weekly issue that says Kristen Stewart will soon dump Robert Pattinson, but it's apparently true.

A rep for Fox confirms: "Yes, she's engaged."

at . Comments

Breaking news out of the tabloid world today, Twilight Saga fans:

Robert Pattinson has been dumped! Also, Kristen Stewart will soon dump Robert Pattinson!

First, a source tells Life & Style that the differences between the co-stars have become too much. The latter is simply too depressed too often, as "Rob says she complains about everything and is such a downer," according to the insider who added:

"When Rob was back in the U.K., he was totally fed up with Kristen and over it. He told her, 'We're done.'"

DUMPED!

But don't fret, Robsten lovers!

While one tabloid reports "Rob feels he hasn't found his soulmate and is keeping his options open," Us Weekly says the exact opposite: Kristen is Rob's soulmate!

Hooray? Not quite. Apparently, Stewart is about to break Pattinson's heart, as their "tortured romance" is affected by her hesitation to get married. That's a shame.

So, what are Twilight fans to do about such conflicting cover stories? Send a message to these desperate publications and DO NOT BUY THEM. That's the only way they'll ever stop publishing such nonsense.

Seriously, purchasing BP stock is a better use of your money.

at . Comments

Brooke Mueller is headed back to rehab. Or, as her rep puts it: "Brooke [will be] receiving professional help in the area of stress management."

The goal is to ensure that Mueller does not succomb to the pressures of drinking again and we wish her the best of luck in this endeavor. We also hope she divorces Charlie Sheen and takes this trouble loser for everything he's worth.

So Sheen

Along those lines, TMZ has uncovered 43 pages worth of documents that detail what will take place if Sheen and Mueller go down this path. It doesn't mean they have filed for divorce (yet), but it does mean the following has been agreed upon if they do...

  • Joint custody: Sheen will get the couple's kids on the first, third and fifth weekends of every month.
  • Child support: Mueller will receive $55,000/month. In a hilarious addendum, the contract reads: "Under no circumstances shall the child support paid by Charlie for Bob and Max be less than the child support paid by Charlie to Denise Richards for Sam and Lola."
  • Cash money: Brooke will receive a lump sum of $757,689.70 upon the divorce being finalized.
  • Home, expensive home: Sheen will keep the couple's primary residence as long as he buys Brooke out for $1 million.
  • Shhhh: Brooke cannot "disclose to any media sources personal information relating to Charlie's sexual affairs or alleged drug usage." 

The papers cite "irreconcilable differences" as the basis for the couple's split.

But that's only because there's no box Mueller can check off that reads "my husband is an abusive, cheating bastard who has somehow escaped the kind of public scrutiny reserved for Tiger Woods."

at . Comments

Bravo has confirmed the latest Sign of the Apocalypse:

Michaele Salahi, who made headlines with husband Tareq in November 2009 by actually crashing a White House party, has officially been cast on The Real Housewives of D.C.

Michaele and Tareq Salahi Pic

The network refers to the five chosen women as “connected D.C. power players,” who “have their pulse on the most important cultural events, political galas, gallery openings, and fundraisers in Washington society.”

Then again, four of the cast members in this diverse city are white; and their occupations include a modeling agency owner, a real estate agent and, well, Michaele Salahi. If these are connected players in our nation's capital... the nation is in serious trouble!

Joining Salahi (pictured) on the series, which premieres August 5, are:

Catherine Ashley Ommanney: New to the country, this British interior designer moved to America in the summer of 2008 when she married Charles Ommanney, a prizewinning photojournalist with Newsweek. The couple has two kids, Jade and Ruby.

Mary Schmidt Amons: A mother of five, who is described by Bravo as “the true Washingtonian and granddaughter of radio and TV personality Arthur Godfrey."

Stacie Scott Turner: A graduate of Howard University and owner of a Harvard MBA. She worked in marketing at BET before becoming a real estate agent. Involved in many political fundraisers.

Lynda Erkiletian: The 52-year old is a divorced mother of four. Owns T.H.E. Artist Agency, a Georgetown modeling firm that represents hundreds of models and stylists. Bravo says she likes astrology, "shooting clay pigeons, riding ATVs and cooking a mean fried chicken." Well, okay then.

Which of these women will be the next Danielle Staub? Sadly, millions of people will likely tune in to find out.

at . Comments

Bret Michaels has laid out the reasons why he should be the next judge on American Idol.

But there's one person he doesn't need to convince, and she's someone who knows a lot about the gig: Paula Abdul.

"If he were to take that position I think he would be awesome at it because you've got to have a passion and love for music," Abdul told Us Weekly. "It takes somebody who really, really understands young people to try to make the magic happen in those 30 seconds. [Bret] would fit the mold perfectly."

  • Backstage Bret
  • Backstage with Paula

That said, Paula says no one will ever be able to truly replace Simon Cowell.

"Honestly, the word replacement to me does not apply because, as we all know, they broke the mold after Simon. I don't think he could ever be replaced," she said. "There should be no comparison."

It's true, but it's still an important question: Should Bret Michaels be the next American Idol judge?

 

at . Comments

Earlier today, Miley Cyrus sent a message to the world: I am not a slut.

Now, Perez Hilton has a message of his own: I am not a distributor of child pornography!

The latter statement is needed because the self-absorbed, immature celebrity gossip blogger has been accused of Tweeting an uncensored photo of Miley's crotch.

In an insincere, lame video on his website today, Perez said: "Do you think I'm stupid enough to post a photo of Miley if she's not wearing any underwear down there? No! Sure I like to seem controversial, but I don't want to go to jail."

He then published the following circled photo, which depicts Miley in the same outfit as she wore in the original, scandalous picture (below, left) and supposedly proves she was wearing underwear all along:

  • Miley Cyrus Upskirt
  • Underwear Spotted!

Click on the above photos to enlarge them. Does this put an end to Underwear Gate?

None of this changes the fact that Hilton is an absolute tool. He offers nothing interesting or creative on his blog, relying on such pathetic gimmicks as upskirt shots and penis drawings to get attention.

At this point, there's no real chance of Perez receiving any legal punishment, although a Los Angeles criminal defense attorney told Salon.com that it was "suicidal" for the blogger to distribute the image.

"We're not talking about a misdemeanor," Jeffrey Douglas said. "You don't have to know what the definition of the law is; all you have to do is knowingly distribute the photograph."

If you're curious about the definition of douche bag, by the way, don't bother opening up a dictionary. Just find a photo of Perez Hilton.

at . Comments

Miley Cyrus might be bad at singing, but she's good at listening.

And the young star is tired of all the controversy surrounding her new image. She told The Associated Press today:

"I'm not trying to be slutty. I'm not trying to be, like, go to the club and get a bunch of guys. What I'm trying to do is make a point with my record and look consistent, in the way my record sounds and the way I dress."

Okay... and that point would be what, exactly? In "Can't Be Tamed," Miley sings that she's "hot like that" and "every guy everywhere just gives me mad attention."

As critical as THG is of Cyrus, we actually never use words such as "slut," "skank," "whore" or other nouns applied to her across the Web. But what point is she trying to make with those lyrics and these outfits?

The quote above may sound intelligent to some, but it doesn't actually say anything.

Exposing Skin

Cyrus continued to defend her provocative behavior and attire, adding:

"I'm really comfortable with my body, I work really hard to be fit and to know that I can wear whatever makes me most comfortable.

"I feel more comfortable dressing with a little less, which is just how I've always been... Now I'm able to do that a little more freely and, also, I've just grown up to be this way too. It's not like this was me five years ago. It's me now, presently."

In conclusion, Miley says she is not trying to use sex to sell albums. That's not her "schtick."

"I want people to buy my record because of my music."

If that's the case, Miles, put on some pants, grab a guitar and just sing. You're clearly courting this controversy, so don't whine about. Prove to us you're a serious artist and not a disappointing hack.

at . Comments

In a recent interview, Robert Pattinson joked that he wants a better body than Taylor Lautner.

Based on a new photo of the latter in GQ, though, it's no laughing matter when we say: dream on, Rob! We mean... seriously.

But you can take comfort in this, R. Patt: few men on the planet have a better body that Taylor:

GQ Hottie

In the July issue of this magazine, Lautner expresses shock over his rise to fame (on the Oscars: "You're looking down and you're talking to George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio - and they're listening to you!"), while also saying not much is different away from the cameras:

"The thing I love is that my home life hasn’t changed. I still help out with the garbage. I still help out with the lawn.”

Since Twilight hit it big, Lautner has signed on for a bunch of new films, such as Abduction. But he says he tries not to get caught up in anything but the work itself.

"If I start thinking, Is this movie going to open? Is this movie going to do well? I'm not focusing on the job. The job is to make a good movie."

Anyway, we know what you're thinking: enough reading. On with the ogling! Drool over new photos of Taylor in GQ below...

Very Sexy in a Sweater
Cute Cover Pic

at . Comments

Danielle is a very troubled lady. She still has anger built up inside her. There’s no dealing with her in a rational way. Maybe she’s got multiple personalitie. She hasn’t changed and she’ll never change. I tried. I’m done, I’m out.

With those words, Dina Manzo walked away from The Real Housewives of New Jersey last night.

All the The Real Housewives of New Jersey

In case they somehow didn't make it clear to viewers that Danielle Staub was to blame for her departure, Dina reiterated to Us Weekly today:

"I would say 99.9 percent is because of Danielle, but the other .1 percent was drama created by her."

While we admire Manzo for getting away from the nut job that is Staub, we find it hard to believe when she says "I thought I signed on for a nice family show and it really turned in a different direction."

Dina's professed ignorance over the goal/theme of the show (catfights, drama, etc.) is about as hard to believe as Staub's claim that she didn't play a key role in the release of her sex tape.

Still, we certainly agree with Manzo when she says Danielle "will make up whatever lie she can to hurt you, and it’s dangerous. Who wants to be associated with that?"

at . Comments

Who would have thought that the strangest thing about Charlie Sheen's life would NOT involve drugs or prostitution... but car theft?!?

For the second time in four months, the actor has had his car stolen and driven off a cliff.

In February, authorities found Sheen's SUV off Mulholland Drive. He later admitted that he left the keys in the ignition and no suspects were ever apprehended for the crime.

Now, THE SAME THING HAS SOMEHOW HAPPENED AGAIN. According to a spokesperson for the Los Angeles Police Department, Sheen once again left his keys inside his Mercedes, which was parked in his driveway... which is located inside a gated community.

Charlie Sheen: A moron, a scheming individual or both?

Police alerted the actor to the car's disappearance around 3 a.m. this morning. They then located it on the side of the road in Beverly Hills, less than a mile from where the original incident took place.

Sources say the cops are referring to this situation as "suspicious," while one officer told Us Weekly:

"The investigation is ongoing. It's impounded for [finger] printing."

× Close Ad