Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Forget New Year's Eve, college graduation, or, heck, even Flag Day.

Today is the most momentous occasion of 2010 for millions of Twilight Saga fans around the world. That's because Robert Pattinson turns 24. Cue screams in 3...2...1...

After laying low for a few months, filming a new movie and remaining out of the spotlight where he's most comfortable, Pattinson will be featured on numerous magazine covers and talk shows over the next few weeks, promoting Eclipse.

It's already started: check out Robert's spread in South Africa's GQ and tune in today to The Oprah Winfrey Show, where he, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner will sit down with the host.

A Handsome Gaze

We know one thing Stewart did NOT get Pattinson for his birthday: a baby.

As for his adoring fans, Rob isn't the kind of guy that focuses on the material world. He'd probably just accept a hug, or, if you're not in his immediate vicinity, birthday wishes that THG will be sure to pass along.

Send them in now and then ogle this montage...

At Home, on the Red Carpet
  • A Goofball
  • Signing Star
  • Run, Rob!
  • Vogue Photo

WAIT, THERE'S MORE! WATCH A PREVIEW OF PATTINSON ON OPRAH BELOW.

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Let's give Larry Birkhead credit for honesty.

Ever since Anna Nicole Smith's death, this total loser has exploited his former lover's passing by posing the daughter he had with her (Dannielynn) for various paparazzi and tabloid photo ops. Seriously, look at this and try not to vomit.

We've called Birkhead out on numerous occasions because he likely made money off his child, a despicable act, especially considering the fact that life in the spotlight couldn't have helped Anna Nicole with her substance abuse problems over the years.

Now, Larry is at it again - but at least he admits that he's exploiting Smith's memory for cold, hard cash.

Birkhead is auctioning off Anna Nicole's Mercedes, dog bed and pieces of artwork to raise funds for himself and his thre-year-old daughter.

"It's like, do I want to hold on to one of Anna's dresses, or do I want to try to help Dannielynn's future," Birkhead said, trying to sound altruistic. "We have money. We have more than enough to survive on. [Auction proceeds] would just supplement that."

Know what else would supplement the money you've already made off Smith's legacy, Larry? Getting a job!

The auction will take place on June 26 and proceeds will go to the Anna Nicole and Daniel Wayne Smith Foundation. This would be a noble idea, if causes other than Larry Birkhead himself benefitted from it.

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American Idol may be an utter bore this season, but it can still deliver an emotional wallop at times.

On last night's results show, for example, Michael Lynche and Crystal Bowersox found themselves in the bottom two.

After Ryan Seacrest revealed that Big Mike would be heading home, the tears started to flow. First, from Michael's wife, cradling the couple's newborn daughter. Then, from various audience members as Lynche sang Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" and, finally, from a certain celebrity gossip blogger's living room.

He just seemed really nice, okay?!?

Bye, Big Mike

We're down to Bowersox, Casey James and Lee DeWyze on the worst season in Idol history. Who do you hope takes home the crown?

The night was not a total downer, of course. Bon Jovi, Daughtry and Fantasia all performed. Along with shots of Mike and Crystal, these artists are featured below:

  • His Final Song
  • Michael and Crystal

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Welcome to tabloid journalism 101, readers. Pay close attention to this lesson...

Earlier this week, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson taped an appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show that will air tomorrow afternoon.

As reported by THG, the pair met with the host beforehand and were warned that she'd ask about the status of their relationship. At this point, Rob and Kristen admitted they were dating - but said they didn't wish to discuss it on-air.

Oprah said fine, they could shoot down the question however they wanted to when it came up.

So, when the cameras rolled and the inevitable was asked, Pattinson joked that Stewart was pregnant. That's it. End of story. Oprah viewers will see these 10 seconds play out tomorrow, as part of an in-depth interview that reveals actual information.

Now, cut to this week's OK! Weekly cover:

Misleading Cover

SIGH.

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At a Los Angeles boutique yesterday, fans lined up for hours to get the autographs of Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian.

These total wastes of space sisters signed items in honor of the launch of their new jewelry line "Kardashian Collection by Virgin Saints + Angel."

Such an event got us wondering, WHO THE HECK WANTS AN AUTOGRAPH FROM THE KARDASHIANS?!?

The siblings are known simply for filming themselves having sex, having a child out of wedlock and marrying a NBA star purely for money and attention. That's it. They offer nothing else to society.

Are we grateful they exist because they make us laugh and look pretty good naked? Of course. But would we waste one nanosecond of our lives waiting to get their autograph? No.

Signing Sisters
  • Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian
  • Hi, Kim and Kourtney!
  • Two!
  • Signing
  • A Kim Stare

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Various versions of GQ are doing their best to satisfy both genders this week.

First, we happily published photos of Robert Pattinson from South Africa's edition of this magazine.

Now, Germany's GQ has one-upped that R. Patt pictorial with three magical words: Christina Aguilera nude. The singer covers that publication (with a strategically-placed hand and thigh) in the buff...

Aguilera has catapulted herself back on to the musical scene. Following a couple years off, dedicating herself to motherhood, the singer has returned with a new single, a new album... and her old, sexy persona.

We speak for men around the world when we saw: welcome back, Xtina!

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Who would have thought that filming yourself having sex with another man, and then shopping this tape for profit, would endanger your marriage?!?

Not Kendra Wilkinson certainly.

She's reportedly "heading for a split" with husband Hank Baskett, following this month's revelations that she a) made a sex tape in 2005 and b) tried to peddle it herself before c) agreeing to do a cover story for OK! Weekly about it just to garner publicity for its sale.

Ah, the life of a talentless Playboy model.

Headed for Splitsville?

According to Radar Online, Kendra's partner on the tape was a dude named Justin. He dated Kendra between the pair's high school graduation in the spring of 2003 to the time she moved into the Playboy Mansion.

In 2008, Wilkinson formed a company and tried to sell the video herself. Such news has made "Hank totally upset and embarrassed," a source told Life & Style. "He's so angry."

The same insider says Baskett may pretend to be supportive in public, but actually fears the scandal may affect his NFL future.

"The main reason he's embarrassed is his team's [possible] reaction," added the souce. "He needs to concentrate on his career right now, and this just creates more distractions for him."

Baskett's performance in Super Bowl XLIV, where he dropped an onside kick that led to a Saints touchdown, may prove more problematic to any potential suitors than the fact he's married to an attention whore. Anyone with E! already knew that anyway.

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It's spreading, people. Can you feel it? Can you smell it? Can you taste it? (You wish, ladies!)

The latest victim of Bieber Fever is the queen of daytime television herself, Oprah Winfrey. She had Justin Bieber on her show yesterday and seemed legitimately smitten with the 16-year old superstar.

Not to the point where Stedman (or Miley Cyrus?) should get jealous, but Oprah was clearly taken with the Biebs. Check out their interview now, as we learn what time Justin must put away his computer and what punishment befalls him if he ever acts out:

From there, a VERY lucky girl got the chance of a lifetime: she also interviewed Bieber.

Asking questions such as whether or not Justin gets nervous on stage, the young woman herself looked surprisingly calm in the face of such cutness. Watch below.

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While it's possible Breaking Dawn may be filmed without Kellan Lutz or Ashley Greene, Twilight Saga fans can at least rest assured:

Robert Pattinson isn't going anywhere.

In fact, he'll soon be popping up everywhere, making the media rounds in anticipation of the June 30 Eclipse premiere. Look for Robert, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner to appear on Oprah tomorrow.

But look no further to simply gawk at Pattinson. He covers the latest issue of South Africa GQ, as does this breaking news: BEIGE IS BACK.

South Africa GQ Cover
  • Photo from GQ
  • So Darn Handsome

Click to enlarge, and drool over, these photos of Robert Pattinson.

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Man, what a tease.

After hearing about a video that depicted Miley Cyrus giving Adam Shankman a lap dance at last year's wrap party for The Last Song, we were excited to watch it and lay into Miley like usual.

We had the puns all ready: Miley Cyrus? More like Miley SIN-rus!

Alas, the minute-long tape has now been leaked - and it's disappointingly tame. If parents truly yanked their kids from this gathering because Miley was acting too lewd, well, they really shouldn't show their children her "Can't Be Tamed" video.

Check out this scarcely dirty bit of dancing below.

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