Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Round one of the Melissa Etheridge/Tammy Lynn Michaels split has gone to the singer.

Following Etheridge's motion to dissolve her partnership with Michaels, the latter filed for full custody of the pair's children and stated that her ex has not been supporting her or the kids "financially and otherwise."

However, a L.A. County Superior Court judge shot down Tammy's request for $25,000 this week, as Etheridge's attorney convinced the court his client is, indeed, footing the bills for her family.

"[Tammy] is being completely supported by Melissa and has been since they separated," Neal Hersh told People. "She’s being well-provided for and then some, as are the children, which are Melissa’s first priority."

Hersh says these expenses include $2,000 a month, along with household bills and a car lease. Tammy's legal team doesn't dispute these facts.

Steven Knowles says "Melissa is paying various sundry expenses," but adds that his client and her three-year old twins are "destitute... It doesn’t put money in her wallet. Literally she has no cash."

Etheridge and Michaels were together for nine years. Sadly, it seems this break-up will get uglier before it gets any better.

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Ah, so this is why he showed up at the London premiere of Eclipse.

While we're always happy to see the cute mug of Joe Jonas, we were perplexed by his presence at last month's event. Turns out, he's less a fan of The Twilight Saga in general than he is of a specific aspect of it:

Ashley Greene.

Sources tell OK! Weekly the two stars have grown close over the last few weeks, as they attended a King of Leon concert together recently and "there was definitely something going on, but it’s not serious," says an insider.

  • Actress on Tour
  • Joe J.

Another source - who refers to Green as a "maneater" - says Joe is "smitten" with the actress, but the feelings aren't exactly reciprocated: “I think he wants it to be more than she does right now."

Jonas is coming off a break-up with Demi Lovato, while Greene has been linked romantically to guitarist Jared Followill. If these two ever did get together, they'd have solid nickname potential.

Gonas? Jeene? We could get behind either option.

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It was totally on last night between Danielle Staub and Teresa Giudice.

Complete country club chaos broke out on the Bravo hit, highlighted by these self-centered stars going at it. Let's see what our Real Housewives correspondent had to say about the exciting episode...

Seriously?  How much more screwed up can this show and these women get?  To top tonight’s country club mayhem the Housewives will have to get rocket launchers and reduce each other’s homes into rubble.  I don’t think any of us would be surprised if that happened.

The episode begins where we left off last week:   Teresa and Danielle engaging in momentary fake-nice small talk before everything turns into a major kerfuffle.  There is immediately a lot of shrieking and screaming, women forcing each other down into chairs, women rushing down darkened hallways, bodyguards pushing woman off to the side, dishes smashing, weaves swinging, heels breaking.

Thank goodness there are subtitles because nothing is comprehensible except for the random shouting of “bitch!”  The rest of it sounds like, “Aaaaaahhhhheeeerrrrraaaaanooooo!”  The jerkiness of the camerawork as it chases the Housewives is reminiscent of The Blair Witch Project and is, in many ways, equally as scary.

The Housewives Girl

At one point early in the brawl, Teresa says to Danielle, “So what, bitch?  I live in a $5 million home now.”  “And it’s in foreclosure!” screams Danielle.  This statement pisses Teresa off more than anything else.  “Danielle said my house is going into foreclosure.  It’s none of her business what’s going on in my life.  I was trying to be nice and Danielle started it,” she tells us. 

Pause for a moment:  I do hate Danielle and was secretly glad to see her getting hunted down like a gazelle on the Serengeti but Teresa really did start everything, at least on that night at the country club. Had she not insisted on approaching Danielle and “saying hi” nothing would have happened.  Or maybe the producers asked Teresa to approach Danielle?  I know huge fights like this can’t hurt the number of viewers the show attracts.  Thoughts?

As things escalate and women are running amok on broken heels, Danielle enlists the help of Kim G, of her bodyguard (no, not Discount Danny but don’t fret—he shows up later in the episode), and Kim G’s driver.  “Get me out of here!  I’m gonna pass out!  GET ME OUTTA HERE!” screams Danielle as she hides in a corner outside. 

Evidently she can’t move because her heels are broken.  “I can’t walk!” She is a sobbing and crying mess.  It’s not pretty but, man, is it ever funny.

Don't You Ever!

Then occurs the moment that will be re-lived by Danielle non-stop for years to come:  Jacqueline’s wayward daughter Ashley comes up and yanks on Danielle’s weave.  Supposedly she did this because she thought Danielle had punched her mom but, secretly, I think she did it just because she wanted to.  If I saw Danielle in real life I’d probably want to do the same thing. 

The next thing we know, the bodyguard is carrying Danielle to Kim G’s Bentley.  In the car Kim G is screaming in Danielle’s ear. “Listen to me!  Stop!  Calm down, please!!”  Sorry, Kim G, Danielle probably won’t calm down for a few more years.

Though we are all worn out just watching this crap, Teresa is still rearing to go.  “I wanna talk to the bitch,” Teresa explains to Jacqueline as she approaches the Bentley where Danielle is hiding and having hysterics.  Jacqueline is perplexed.  “Why?!  What is the point?!  Let her live her miserable life. She’s miserable.  Let her live it.  Who gives a shit?  Who cares?”  Silly Jacqui!  You’re talking to Teresa like she understands you and has a grasp on reality! 

Ha, ha.  So funny.

Meanwhile Danielle is still screaming and crying in the Bentley.  “I really feel very violated by Ashley. And I’m gonna feel violated by Jacqueline,” she says.  Then Danielle demands that the cops be called and charges be pressed while Teresa dances around the parking lot and Jacqueline stands there petting her baby seal coat, just waiting for some more crazy shit to go down. 

“Look at all this hair she pulled out of my head!  That’s not even my extension!  That’s my hair!”  I love it that Danielle isn’t even embarrassed to admit she has a weave.  Not in this time of great personal misery and stress!

Continue Reading...

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Who knew Carlos Santana was such a romantic?!?

The legendary musician proposed to his girlfriend, drummer Cindy Blackman, on Friday night - and he did so on stage, during a concert in Illinois!

After she said yes, the pair kissed, while fans cheered them on.

"Cindy and I are blessed to have found each other," Santana said in a statement released to MTV News. "Being in love is a gift from the universe, and the spirit and vibrations that come with it are infinitely powerful. I look forward to expressing that incredible energy through my music, and in helping to tip the balance toward more love in the world with what Cindy and I share."

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He came in third on season nine of American Idol.

But Casey James might wanna finish first in the heart of a reality show contestant, he admits, recently expressing an interest in The Bachelor.

After everyone's favorite host/pimp, Chris Harrison, ran into James at a party last month, he told the singer that he'd perfect for the ABC series. Responded James to OK! Weekly:

“I’ll try anything once. I’m always up for a new experience.”

Suave Ladies Man

Plenty of room under these arms, ladies!

James is busy with the American Idol tour right now, but you can imagine his reaction when pitched the idea of 25 women competing for his attention: “Oh, God, that sounds horrible!” he joked, adding: “Sign me up!”

When Casey first auditioned for the Fox competition, Kara DioGuardi openly swooned over him and made James take off his shirt. He's been considered a singing stud ever since.

If James doesn't take on the role, the next Bachelor will likely be one of Ali's castoffs from this season: Chris, Roberto, Kirk or Frank.  Either way, desperate women will sign up for the show and ABC producers will script every event that takes place on it.

Do you think James should be the next Bachelor?

 

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It's about to get REALLY Hot in Cleveland.

Joe Jonas has signed on to guest star on an August episode of this TV Land sitcom, which stars Betty White, Valerie Bertinelli, Jane Leeves and Wendie Malick. He'll portray the son of Bertinelli's character.

Joe

Jonas is best known for his vocal chops, of course - but he and his brothers have acting experience on JONAS and in the movie Camp Rock.

Hot in Cleveland has already been picked up for a season season, meaning this may become a recurring role for the young heartthrob. Commence screams of delight, ladies, in 3... 2... 1...

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Tila Tequila has exploited the death of Casey Johnson for personal gain; stripped down for the camera; and even faked a suicide attempt.

But she may have finally hit rock bottom with the following news:

Nutty Tila

Tila will NOT be taking part in the next edition of Celebrity Rehab.

The reality star had blogged about her inclusion on this VH1 series in May, saying she'd finally agreed to get treatment for her addiction to Ambien. But when Radar Online asked her rep if Tequila would be a cast member on the show, he simply replied: "No."

Seriously, what does it take to get booted from Celebrity Rehab?!? Dr. Drew Pinsky lives to profit off the troubles of Z-list stars.

Reports say the show is still scheduled to begin filming this month. Only Jason Wahler and Jeremy London are on board, though sources say the network is trying to sign up former tennis star Jennifer Capriati.

If it really wants to set a ratings record, there's an obvious candidate in need of MAJOR help: Mel Gibson.

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Edward Norton is an Oscar-nominated actor.

But that bullet point on his resume wasn't enough to help the star keep his most recent job, as Norton has been booted fron the upcoming big screen adaption of The Avengers.

The May 2012 movie will bring together Marvel comic book heroes such as Captain America and Iron Man. It will star Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Samuel L. Jackson and more - but will NOT include Norton in the role of Bruce Banner.

The studio explained why in this harsh statement:

"We have made the decision to not bring Ed Norton back to portray the title role of Bruce Banner in the Avengers.

"Our decision is definitely not one based on monetary factors, but instead rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members. The Avengers demands players who thrive working as part of an ensemble... We are looking to announce a name actor who fulfills these requirements, and is passionate about the iconic role in the coming weeks."

Snaps, yo! Replied a rep for Norton:

"This offensive statement from Kevin Feige at Marvel is a purposefully misleading, inappropriate attempt to paint our client in a negative light... This seemed to us to be a financial decision but, whatever the case, it is completely their prerogative, and we accepted their decision with no hard feelings."

Norton starred in a 2008 remake of The Hulk that was panned by critics and bombed at the box office.

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The AMP Energy Bullrun Rally is an annual eight-day race across the country, pitting 100 cars against one another to see who can leave from New York City and get to Las Vegas first.

What does this have to do with Kim Kardashian? Absolutely nothing, except she pocketed thousands of dollars to serve as the official "Flag Girl" for the start of the event on Saturday.

We'd make some comment about this being a sign of the Apocalypse (how can someone with so little talent make so much money for doing absolutely nothing?!?) - but Kardashian may have actually earned her pay day in this case.

Seriously, just look at her...

Start Your Staring!
  • Nice Shirt
  • Skin Tight and Sexy
  • At a Rally
  • Ample Rump
  • Rallying Around Kim

[Photos: Splash News]

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Jon Stewart makes the most headlines.

Stephen Colbert puts the most people and things On Notice.

But you might be surprised to learn than neither of these Comedy Central hosts bring in the most viewers. As of last week, that distinction officially belongs to Daniel Tosh, host of Tosh.0.

  • A Daniel Tosh Picture
  • Jon Stewart Photo
  • Colbert Pic

The show is as simple, and hilarious, as it gets. Tosh stands in front of a green screen and makes fun of clips/videos on the Internet. Such material has earned Tosh.0 an average of 2.4 million viewers, about 400,000 more than tune in for The Daily Show.

Comedy Central has already renewed the series for a third season, while it's also producing a nationwide stand-up tour for Tosh.

So, you tell us: Who would you rather... watch?

 

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