Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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It took a tad more than two seasons, but Lisa Wu Hartwell finally got the memo: reality shows are not real.

With this finally understood, The Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has walked away from the series that made her (semi) famous.

Sheree Whitfield Pic

Sources confirm that Wu Hartwell left the Bravo show after a trio of season three episodes because "they basically wanted to script elements of Lisa's life and make her amp up the drama. She wasn't with that at all."

Apparently, Lisa didn't watch The Hills finale or every episode ever of The Bachelor. It's all scripted, honey.

The third season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres in October. Viewers will welcome attorney Phaedra Parks and Cynthia Bailey to the cast this fall.

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Up until now, Elisabetta Canalis has been known as the gorgeous woman on the arm of George Clooney for the past year.

But the Italian beauty suddenly finds herself in the news for other, far more sordid reasons: a fellow model (turned prostitute) claims she saw Canalis snort a couple lines of cocaine at a Milan nightclub in 2007.

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

Referring to a 2007 incident at The Club, an establishment under investigation for allowing drugs and sex, Karima Menad told prosecutors two years ago: "I remember taking cocaine with Elisabetta Canalis and two others."

This admission is part of documents obtained this week by Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera.

Canalis started dating Clooney last July, but Menad was referring to a night in December 2007 in her testimony, adding:

"We had been at a party of some famous, rich celebrity whose name I cannot remember. I don't remember who brought the drugs but we all took it."

The Club was shut down on July 26 amidst reports that women were brought in to entertain customers.

"Their job was to encourage these customers to drink alcohol as to increase the table's bill, followed up by sex off premises," said prosecutor Frank Di Maio. "They were often given cocaine for free by those who want to sit at a table of famous people... they want the visibility that comes from being seated at a central table, and to be seen with models, or celebrities from fashion, entertainment and sport."

Canalis is yet to comment on her alleged role in this scandal.

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Kroy Biermann is a 24-year old defense end for the Atlanta Falcons with seven sacks over his first two seasons.

Not shabby, but not impressive enough to get the young NFL player noticed across the Internet.

That could at least explain why Biermann has taken the arm of 32-year old Kim Zolciak. According to In Touch Weekly, The Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member has been dating the professional baller for about two months.

A source says the pair attended the wedding of Zolciak's co-star, Cynthia Bailey, on Saturday, and were spotted “laughing, kissing and have a great time together.”

Guess this means Kroy would answer this pressing question in the affirmative.

Over the past year or so, Zolciak has been linked with some dude known as Big Poppa and some female DJ named Tracy Young. Not exactly tough company for Kroy Biermann to live up to.

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As much as it pains us, we must give Kendall Jenner some credit.

The 14-year old half-sister of Khloe, Kourtney and Kim Kardashian responded this week to the controversy surrounding her recent photo shoot. Instead of getting on some high horse and telling the world to focus on more important issues (we're looking at you, Miley Cyrus), Kendall came across as mature and understanding of the situation.

"I am excited to be working as a model, doing what I love to do," she told People. "My entire family was very supportive, though my dad was a bit concerned at first, he knows that I am responsible enough that I wouldn’t do anything I wasn’t ready to do, or didn’t want to do.”

In a String Bikini

Kendall continued:

“Going into this shoot, it was never my intention to be provocative or too racy. It was a beach shoot, and I was wearing beachwear. I am happy with my age, and am not trying to rush into anything too soon. I look forward to all the milestones my teens have to offer - Sweet 16, turning 18, and so on.”

We still believe Jenner should wait a few years before donning so few items of clothing in a nationally-published shoot.

But at least she recognizes the reasons behind the scandal and acknowledges that she's barely even a teenager. Gotta give her - or the publicist behind this statement, really - props for handling the situation in such a straightforward manner.

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Earlier this week, Kourtney Kardashian told People magazine that Scott Disick is a great father and "obviously not a monster."

But the latest In Touch Weekly cover story aims to disagree with this statement and shed light on just how shady little Mason Dash's daddy really is - and this goes far beyond a supposed penchant for sangria.

With Kourtney and Scott having moved to The Hamptons, a source says Kourtney (and reality show viewers, naturally) may soon see what kind of a monster this man truly can be.

Asked about Disick's past in the area, especially the New York pals with which he associated, an insider revealed:

“He was worse than anyone knows. Scott and all his close friends were in this fake ‘gang’ called the Scummers. They would do all these really awful things together.

"When he was hooking up with a girl in bed, his friends would be in the closet, videotaping what was going on. Sometimes, his friends would jump out of the closet. He’d try to let them join in.”

In other words: Scott Disick is a second coming of Ray J? Haven't the Kardashians made it clear they welcome this kind of behavior? They do have their entire empire to thank for it, after all.

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For reasons that defy comprehension, Kim Kardashian is considered a fashion icon.

We could spend days questioning this classification - but, instead, we'll simply accept it and pass along a number of company shills tips Kim recently offered in the pages of InStyle. Follow along if you wish to look your best...

Find a Great Tailor
"Anything you wear should be proportioned to your body, and a good tailor will make sure everything fits perfectly. I either have my tailor at every fitting or I have my stylist pin my wardrobe and take it to the tailor before I wear anything. Shortening a hem line on a dress can make a huge difference!"

Accentuate the Waist
"Show off that tiny waist! Adding a belt makes your outfit look more polished. I have great belts from Phillip Lim and Alaia. Vintage belts are one of a kind and can be affordable too."

  • Eyebrow Wax
  • In Love with Herself

Avoid Baggy Clothing
"I know they are comfortable and they look amazing on Nicole Richie but flowy tops and dresses are not flattering on a curvy figure. They can make you look pregnant and they look sloppy in photos. Try wearing a maxidress instead. A.L.C, Torn by Ronny Kobo and T Bags make some great ones."

Embrace Shapewear
"Every woman from a size 0-14 should own Spanx! I love Shapewear by Body Wrap; they have a firm control long leg panty that makes my body look smoother and slimmer under fitted dresses without leaving any lines."

Love Those Curves!
"Being confident and owning your body is sexy. I love to show off my curves and designers like Thatcher, Antonio Berardi, Preen, Altuzarra, Markus Lupfer and Brian Lichtenberg make amazing dresses that fit my body perfectly."

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Justin Bieber is many things:

A singer, a heartthrob, a CSI guest star.

But we never would have pegged the artist for a big tease.

In this hilarious, frightening video, Bieber hops aboard a Segway and scoots around fans in Glendale, Arizona. They go as bat $hit crazy for Justin as you might expect, as we fear for the adorable singer's life. Ride faster, J Biebs!

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Ke$ha is inspired by transvestites.

In a new interview with Paper Magazine, she says:

"Trannies make me want to be a better woman. I see these men who have way better bodies than I do, more beautiful faces, better complexions, beautiful makeup, and they're more fun than any person I've met in my life. They make me feel like I'm not a very good woman."

That's an unusual point of view from an unusual artist.

Let's take a look at what else Ke$ha had to say to that publication:

On trying country music: I love Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash. I think at some point there might be some country collaborations or records in the future. But I'm also really digging being called, like half jokingly, a white girl rapper. I think it's really funny and I'm going to ride that train for a little bit.

On one of her favorite things: I wouldn't say I'm aggressive, but I'm a pervert. I have a gold Trans Am and my favorite thing to do in the world is to drive around blasting Zeppelin or Sabbath, cat calling dudes. It doesn't work, but it's fun.

On her favorite drinks: I like whiskey and I like red wine -  those are my two favorites. I love to lie around my house listening to vinyl records and drinking red wine. It's amazing.

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Cheryl Cole is feeling much better.

The gorgeous singer, who came down with malaria a few weeks ago, will return to her seat on The X-Factor judging table this week.

Cheryl Cole and Derek Hough on Stage

"Cheryl loves the show and is desperate to get back to work," says a friend. "She's under doctors' orders to that it easy. But it's a big step that she's back on board."

Following a trip to Tanzania with boyfriend Derek Hough last month, Cole spent a week in intensive care due to this disease. But she'll return for the British version of American Idol in time for the elimination stage.

Said the insider: "She has put all her energy into getting better and it's paid off. Simon has told her he can't wait to have her back."

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There was no hair-pulling or police called to the scene this week on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

So, what did go down? That's a question for our Real Housewives correspondent. She dishes on last night's episode below...

Tonight’s episode began with a sweet and wholesome family night at the Giudices’ Macaroni Mansion.  The girls are playing Monopoly with Teresa and Shirtless Joe.  The irony of any member of the Giudice family playing a game that involves managing money does not go unnoticed.  Evidently the Lord and Lady of the manor will soon celebrate their 10th anniversary. 

We realize it’s taken this unfortunate pair just ten short years to blow through millions and millions of dollars... dollars they didn’t have in the first place.

The Housewives Girl

Across town at Danielle’s crumbling lair she is hatching a plan…it is a plan to gain total world dominance using her radioactive breast implants.  No, actually it’s a plan to celebrate her daughter Christine’s Sweet 16 without actually using any of her own money.  “Amazingly I’ve never had a birthday party thrown for me until I turned 47 years old,” she tells us.  Perhaps this is because no one likes you and you have no friends?

Christine wants to donate any money she “earns” at the party to charity.  Danielle is smugly proud of this fact as if she herself is donating money to charity.  “My children are living by my example,” she proudly states.  What example is that, exactly?  Usually you create mayhem at charity events.  Is this what you hope your daughters learn from you?  Yowsers.

Cute freckled little sis Jillian, already a singer-songwriter at age eleven, is planning her debut performance at the soiree.  Mommy Dearest is intent that Jillian sing in front of hundreds of guests (most are being paid to show up, I assume) despite the fact that the child breaks down in a rehearsal and says she doesn’t want to do it.

Teresa and Baby

Later, Jacqueline and her husband, Silent Bob, go to visit the Giudice pile o’ bricks.  Much discussion about Teresa’s possible anniversary gift ensues.  No one mentions a gift for Shirtless Joe.  “I want him to surprise me.  I want him to really, like, make it big,” Teresa says.  Shirtless Joe slurs, “She wants this friggin’ diamond…(unintelligible muttering)… I don’t know.  We’ll see.” 

Teresa doesn’t need “a crown jewel”, though, because she’s “not an Arabic.”  Unfortunately, buying a nice chunk of cubic zirconium might be more feasible because Shirtless admits that money “is just trickling” in right now.  How sad for them.

Inspiringly, Crown Prince Albie has decided to join the Police Academy “while my law school career is on hold.”  He goes on to explain, “You learn how to, you know, arrest someone and what happens after they’re arrested.”  We are so lucky to have this Albie around answering all of life’s tough questions. 

I always wondered what police trainees were taught in police school.  He thinks this will really help him when he becomes a lawyer because, “I’ll know what a cop’s thinking.”

As usual, Caroline is just barely keeping herself from giggling girlishly and swooning at her son’s feet. She’s all hot and bothered about the prospect of her son dressed up like a real Man of the Law, complete with a night stick with which to knock her around a bit.  “He’s cute as it is.  Can you imagine him in a uniform?  Good God!”  She’s blushing and sweating and it’s so profoundly odd I don’t even really know what else to say.

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