Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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It's all about balance.

That's what Bethenny Frankel learned on last night's season finale of her reality show, as both business and baby beckoned. As usual, a THG intern has reviewed the episode in depth, sharing her snark with readers below. Take it away!

I have to say that for a finale episode, this one was quasi-boring.  A baby shower cake faux-disaster? Amateur football games on Montauk?  Jason lathering sunscreen on Max?  Bethenny’s much-hyped first trip away for work that we didn’t even get to see?  Baby nurse Gina doling out post-baby sex advice?  Yawnsville.  However, I do love watching the new little family unit in action so that saved it from being a total dud. 

I think the best moments are when Jason, Bethenny, Bryn, and Gina are hanging out around the apartment talking about whatever.  I would prefer a whole show of that.

The Housewives Girl

Tonight’s episode began with my second favorite gal from Real Housewives of New York City, Ramona, coming over to visit Bethenny and the new baby.  Almost immediately the baby gets cranky and Bethenny hands her off to Gina.  Gina rushes the baby into a secluded room.  The women discuss having more than one baby as well as sex post-delivery. 

Ramona is surprisingly tongue-tied as she talks about her own “relations” with Mario after she had daughter Avery.  All in all, I like Ramona a whole lot better on the other show.  Seeing her on Bethenny’s show is a weird experience - it feels like when you were little and you saw your teacher at the grocery store:  startling, uncomfortable, and a teensy bit scary.

Though she just gave birth two episodes ago, Bethenny has already reclaimed her flat stomach. “Look at the body on her, Gina,” says Jason.  He then adds, “I really thought at our age or your age it would be a mess.”  Gina nods knowingly.  Speaking of Gina, one random factoid we’ve learned about her is that she is no fan of men trying to get on their women right after they have babies.  She’s sort of a combo baby nurse/anti-post-pregnancy sex cop.

The day of Bethenny’s baby shower has arrived.  “I’m probably the first mom ever to have a baby shower with the baby already,” says Bethenny, verbalizing something we are all thinking.  Of course poor, poor, poor Shawn is putting this little fiesta together. 

The first order of business is carefully extracting the specially-ordered-from-Los-Angeles cake.  “OMG! (Multiple explicatives).  We have a caketastrophe!” gasps Shawn as he realizes the design on the cake is messed up.  He has a look of true terror on his face as he frantically tries to fix it.  This much fussed-over cake, by the way, is insanely small. 

How many people is this supposed to feed?  Or is it just a centerpiece?  If it’s a centerpiece, then why does it have to be some extra-special cake flown in from Los Angeles?  Such big confusion for such a little cake.  But I digress. 

Freaky NYC Housewife Alex is among the shower guests and surprises everyone by wearing a normal outfit.  Though Bethenny states, “I’m hoping we can have a cocktail and discuss something that doesn’t involve diapers and boobies,” of course this sort of talk is inevitable.  But then, like in every good Housewife show, the conversation moves to sex.   “I’m not having sex and Jason is like a rabid animal.  He’s gonna like mount me the second it starts,” Bethenny says in full listening zone of her mother-in-law.

The shower also involves manicures, pedicures, facials, massages, and other sorts of body treatments.  Having arrived moments earlier, assistant Max is immediately splayed out on a massage table awaiting his turn.  Bethenny is ticked that he went ahead of her shower guests.  Despite being bitched out, Max is oblivious and still wants the massage.

After the shower, Bethenny is stressing about having to go to Chicago on a brief work trip.  “It’s complete trauma and terror and I don’t want to go,” Bethenny says about leaving Bryn for the first time. As usual, Jason is totally supportive and wonderful.  “We’ll be right here when you get back,” he says as he expertly pats the baby’s back.  Gina also gives Bethenny a pep talk before she leaves.  Lord knows if that baby is safe with anyone, it’s Gina.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me burn. But that's alright because I love the way it hurts...

Rihanna and Eminem already own the number-one song in the land. Now this power duo has come out with a hit video for the single "Love the Way You Lie."

And it stars Megan Fox! What else could you ask for? Watch below and then read Rihanna's take on the tune:

The song deals with domestic violence, something Rihanna says she and Eminem "have both experienced... on different sides."

She's referring, of course, to Eminem's problems with his ex-wife and her relationship with that monster Chris Brown. Adds the beautiful star:

“It just was authentic. It was real. It was believable for us to do a record like that, but it was also something that needed to be done, and the way he did it was so clever. He pretty much just broke down the cycle of domestic violence, and it’s something that a lot people don’t have a lot of insight on."

What do you think of the video?

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Whoopi Goldberg did not hit Michaele Salahi when that attention-starved waste of space appeared on The View yesterday. Let's get that fact straight.

Earlier reports claimed that this Real Housewives of Washington D.C. cast member had accused the host of making such a violent gesture, but attorney Lisa Bloom tells EW.com her client never made the allegation.

However, Bloom is outraged over the disrespectful way in which she says Salahi was treated during her appearance on the talk show, which included numerous references to her "crashing" the White House and a bizarre cameo by Goldberg, who grabbed Michaele's arm (saying "Excuse me, would you get back to the White House, please?") and then rushed off stage.

You can watch the six-minute segment and then take in what Bloom said about it in a statement below:

"It’s not appropriate for another host to come up from behind her and ask her, the guest, to change the subject. If Whoopi didn’t like the way the interview was going, she should have told Sherri or Joy or one of the producers," Bloom said, adding that Goldberg cursed her client out in the dressing room backstage.

Bloom then defended Salahi's White House incident in general:

"She was never charged with a crime. The U.S. attorney in Washington D.C. released a statement saying they’ve never committed a crime and have never been charged. But I guess the people at The View feel otherwise. Without reviewing any of the evidence, they’ve decided that they are going to smear her. It’s unprofessional."

Bloom and Salahi can cry themselves a river over this treatment, but The Real Housewives of Washington D.C. premieres tonight on Bravo - and they should send Goldberg a bouquet of flowers after the inevitably strong ratings come in.

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Danielle Staub has two messages for Teresa Giudice:

  1. Told you so!
  2. Avoid payday loans, no money down mortgages and be smart with your money.

That's the basic reaction this reality star has for her Real Housewives of New Jersey castmate, as Giudice faces serious bankruptcy and financial problems. Speaking to reporters about Teresa'a $11 million debt this week, Staub said:

“I’m going to tell her what I told her before - your house is in foreclosure. I wasn’t lying and you did know... I think people need to spend within their means and if you don’t know what you have, you need to communicate with your husband."

This is easily the most sane Danielle has ever sounded.

Teresa vs. Danielle

Staub and Giudice went at it on the amazing July 13 episode of this Bravo show, as seen above. Since then, Teresa has gone on The View and said her husband, Joe, never said a word about their impending foreclosure.

But that's a lame excuse, Danielle says, adding: "One thing that comes with marriage is that it’s fifty-fifty. It is your responsibility to know these things. You can’t just throw him under the bus... That’s not cool.”

In the end, Staub has profound advice for all the Real Housewives: “Be very humble, be grateful for the opportunities that have been given to you and try to teach your children that hard work is definitely something that becomes lucrative to you in the end.”

In the rear end, she means, as Danielle knows from personal, videotaped experience.

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Ashley Greene loves to change up her look - and THG loves to ask readers for their opinions on these changes.

In the past, we've elicited your take on the actress' hair - up or down? - as well as her lips, pink or bare?

Now, we return to the former body part and take a closer look at Green's hairy situation. A certified hottie no matter what style she chooses, Ashley has been spotted out over the past year in the opposing lengths and colors seen below.

  • Ashley Greene Promo Pic
  • Greene and Pretty

Which do you prefer?

 

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One Brit is out and another is in.

With Simon Cowell out of the American Idol fold, former producer Nigel Lythgoe - who left this post in 2008 - has returned to the show he helped make famous. He released the following statement today:

"Working as executive producer on American Idol for its first seven years not only was an inspirational journey into the heart of American pop culture, it opened my eyes to the untapped potential of the incredibly dynamic young people in this world... I am elated and honored to be rejoining childhood friend and fellow executive producer Ken Warwick, and look forward to creating more magic.”

Will that magic include Lythgoe as a judge? No.

What about Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler? Lythgoe would not confirm those rumors, but is on record as saying he "loves" Paula Abdul and would love to have her back on Idol.

That wacky judge is under contract with CBS for a new dance show, however. No word yet on whether or not her pharmacist is changing networks with her.

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A little over two years after suffering a miscarriage, Lily Allen is pregnant.

The British singer confirmed the news that long-time boyfriend Sam Cooper knocked her up by releasing the following statement:

Julie Bowen and Oliver

"It brings me great pleasure to tell you that Sam and I are expecting our first child. It goes without saying we are both absolutely delighted."

She then Tweeted the following, humorous photo:

Congrats to Lily Allen and Sam Cooper!

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Welcome to the world of reality television, Peggy Tanous.

The rich blonde has joined the cast of The Real Housewives Of Orange County, as producers confirm she and Internet entrepreneur husband Micah will come aboard for season six of the nauseating program.

Peggy Tanous Photograph

Not much is known about Peggy, but she's a close friend of current cast member Alexis Bellino. Sources have told Radar Online that Tanous is "truthful and blunt."

In other show casting news, Simon Barney will NOT appear again on the series, but viewers will see a lot of Tamra Barney's new boyfriend, Eddie Judge.

Judge and Tanous join established Real Housewives Barney, Bellino, Vicki Gunvalson and Gretchen Rossi.

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For Miley Cyrus, it's the end of an era.

No, we aren't referring to the time in her life when she wore pants and didn't look ridiculous each time she took the stage.

Instead, we're paraphrasing the singer herself in a recent interview with The Montreal Gazette. Cyrus spoke to the newspaper and explained her decision to end Hannah Montana after this season:

"You don't want it to grow up too much, where the younger audience feel they can't watch the show anymore. But also, [don't] go backwards and make it so young that you lose the older fans that you have. It's just kind of come to a point where there's not much more we could do with [the show]."

Miley is focusing on her career as an adult actress, a transformation she understands isn't easy to take for many fans.

"I want to be a role model and have people look up to me, but this also doesn't mean that I am not going to live the way that I want to live," she said. "I'm going to grow up at some point, and I've been always honest about that."

Just so you know, Miles, wearing skimpy clothing on stage and pretending to make out with female dancers is NOT the sign of a grown-up. These are the actions of an immature child desperate for attention.

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While viewers may make fun of Danielle Staub and her unstable castmates on The Real Housewives of New Jersey, their antics clearly deliver ratings.

But with a new stable of spoiled, self-centered reality stars debuting on Bravo tonight, Stacie Scott Turner says fans should NOT expect such shenanigans on The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C.

"What was really compelling is that [producers] talked about how this series was going to be a little more sophisticated than the others and that they were looking to have the drama come from things other than table-tossing and the other stuff that you've grown to expect on the other series," Turner told E! News.

No hair-pulling and coke whoring allegations? Why should we tune in?!?

Turner says she and her costars - Mary Schmidt Amons, Lynda Erkiletian, Catherine Ommanney and Michaele Salahi - actually have informed opinions about current events and politics.

"By all means, we're not like Meet the Press or any of the serious shows," Turner said. "We still have fun. It's an entertaining show. Women are aware, informed and have an opinion - and we make ours known."

Fine. We'll probably tune in. But if at least one drink isn't thrown in someone's face before the month is over, we're outta there!