Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

at . Comments

In early May, Bethenny Frankel gave birth to an adorable girl named Bryn.

But in the warped reality show universe, this event took place last night, as Frankel went into labor five weeks early on Bethenny Getting Married. It made for some exciting TV, as detailed below in our weekly show recap...

Bethenny went to a baby safety and CPR class with other ritzy Upper East Side mommies-to-be on this episode.  “I don’t like any of this and it scares me,” Bethenny says about all the back blows, chest compressions, and rescue breaths. 

The leaders of this course also teach the participants how to break down a stroller to throw in the trunk of a cab and how to install a car seat in a Town Car.  I am guessing this course does not include a lesson on how to install a car seat in a Kia.

Next, Bethenny’s friend Lauren visits with her baby and baby nurse.  The baby nurse is wearing scrubs and a skeptical smirk.  Evidently this nurse, Gina, will come and work for Bethenny when Gina’s done keeping Lauren’s progeny alive for the first month of life.  (All bets are off on what happens to the poor baby after Gina exits.  Most likely a Russian nanny will step in and take over lest Lauren have to actually do anything for her own baby.) 

Lauren is so thin and trim she looks like she must have had the baby via surrogate.  She has no post-pregnancy bloat or double chin whatsoever. 

“I was curious to get some perspective on what a newborn looks like,” Bethenny says about the purpose of the visit. Lauren tries to get her very fussy baby to stop crying and you can bet that Gina was dying to just grab the poor kid away from its bony mom and calm it down herself.

One early morning that week, Bethenny and Jason wake up to find that Bethenny’s water has broken. She expected a “Niagara falls” gush of water like in the movies but it’s just a puddle in the bed and a trickle down her leg.  Bethenny is still five weeks away from her due date. 

“This is happening?” asks Jason.  Bethenny adds, “We’re not ready.  We have no bag packed, we have no baby’s room, we have no bassinette.  We have nothing.”

While looking over the list of what to bring to the hospital, Jason says, “It says to bring several copies of your birth plan.  We don’t have a birth plan.”  Thinking she might have time to kill, Bethenny packs her book that needs editing.  “Don’t pack thongs,” wisely suggests assistant Julie.  “You’re not going to want something in your vadge after you have a baby.” 

I would have to agree.

Then, Bethenny and Jason run around their bedroom buck naked for a little while.  I’m sorry, but don’t they ever want to tell the cameras to scram and give them two seconds of privacy?  I think showering counts as a time when cameras don’t have to be filming a person.  At least not for a show broadcast on a network other than Cinemax or The Playboy Channel. 

Continue Reading...

Tags:

at . Comments

What the heck is wrong with Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr?!?

Don't they know they're supposed to call the paparazzi before getting hitched, make a huge deal over their wedding and sell the photos to tabloids for buckets of cash?!?

Luisana Loreley Lopilato de la Torre and Michael Buble

Instead, just a month after getting engaged, the pair snuck away and got married this week. The model and actor are already on their honeymoon, as Kerr released the following statement, explaining why she's canceling an appearance at the Australian department store David Jones:

"David Jones very graciously released me during this period so we could celebrate an intimate ceremony and honeymoon together. I’m very much a part of the David Jones Family and I am very committed to my role. I am enormously grateful to David Jones to have been given this time to enjoy such a special moment in my life."

Bloom and Kerr started dating in late 2007. We're incredibly happy for them, especially because we can officially start using their fun couple's nickname:

Give it up for Kloom!!!

Tags: , ,

at . Comments

Christina Aguilera has released the official music video for her new single, "You Lost Me."

Finally happy to discuss a subject that is NOT related to any Lady Gaga comparisons, Aguilera dished to Entertainment Tonight about the video shoot:

“What I wanted was a very raw and real feeling, kind of falling apart of your whole world. I have to credit Sia for coming to me with this idea and this concept in general.

“I draw upon pain of other situations from my life to put into storytelling... pain is almost a comfort zone for me.”

That's a bit disturbing. Watch the video below and then sound off with your thoughts on it:

Continue Reading...

Tags:

at . Comments

For the first time, Bryce Dallas Howard is speaking out about her 2007 case of postpartum depression.

In an essay on Goop.com, the Eclipse star writes that she was "mortified" by her weight gain while carrying son Theo and then, after he was born:

Bryce and Son

"I felt I was failing at breast feeding. My house was a mess. I believed I was a terrible dog owner. I was certain I was an awful actress."

Postpartum depression reveals itself in many ways - from anxiety to loss of sleep to reduced libido - and affects between 5% to 25% of new mothers, with percentages varying based on the severity of the symptoms.

Worst of all, Howard says: "I definitely felt I was a rotten mother - not a bad one, a rotten one. Because the truth was, every time I looked at my son, I wanted to disappear."

The actress adds that she screamed expletives at husband Seth Gabel and exhibited behavior "he had never experienced in the seven years we had been together."

But, fortunately, Howard got help, which included reading Brooke Shields' "Down Came the Rain" and speaking to a therapist. She now describes herself as happier than ever.

When Howard was first announced as the replacement for Rachelle Lefevre in Eclipse, Twilight fans were outraged. But their anger was never directed at the actress herself - and we're sure we speak for all of them when we say:

Glad you're doing better, Bryce!

Tags:

at . Comments

Alice Tan Ridley is moving on!

The mother of Oscar-winning actress Gabourey Sidibe first impressed America's Got Talent viewers and judges with her audition in mid-June.

Since then, the woman who formerly sang in NYC subway stations has proven to be more than a one-hit wonder - and last night fans rewarded Ridley by voting her into the semifinals. Judges Piers Morgan and Howie Mandell approved of the decision.

Morgan referred to Alice as "brilliant," while Mandell agrees: "Every time she moves on, it’s heartwarming and moving."

In other America's Got Talent news, dancers AscenDance, singer Michael Grimm and magician Antonio Restivo also moved on to the next round.

If Ridley takes home the crown, she'll actually improve upon the fortunes of Susan Boyle, who finished second on Britain's Got Talent. Best of luck, Alice!

Tags: ,

at . Comments

I'm so glad you're my girl/I'll do anything 4 U
Call U every night/And give U flowers 2
I thank the Lord 4 U/And think about U all the time
I ask him everyday/That you'll 4-ever B mine

Sadly, Color Me Badd singer Bryan Abrams has forgotten the message from his group's chart-topping 1991 single, "All 4 Love."

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

For the second time in two years, Abrams has been arrested on charges of domestic abuse. The latest incident took place in Hawaii, as Honolulu police booked Abrams for harassment after he and his wife got into an argument, and he allegedly tossed her across the room.

In September 2008, the singer was charged with domestic abuse and assault and battery after reportedly smacking a girlfriend and threatening to kill her at an Oklahoma restaurant.

There's no truth to the rumor that Mel Gibson called Abrams this week and congratulated him on a job well done.

Tags:

at . Comments

Bristol Palin is one of the most famous teenagers in the country.

She's the daughter of a Presidential candidate and an unwed mother who isn't just marrying the guy that knocked her up and publicly bashed her family for months on end - she's profiting from the arrangement by selling her story to supermarket tabloids!

Say what you want about Bristol - and, trust us, THG has - but she's the perfect candidate for a reality TV show.

Still, Bethenny Frankel claims she doesn't see the appeal.

Bristol Photograph

Bethenny Frankel thinks viewers are interested in her life, but not that of Bristol Palin. She may be more delusional than Bristol's mother.

"If it was her mom getting married or remarried it would be interesting," Frankel said to E! News yesterday. "If it was Sarah was raising the baby, maybe. But what's the deal with the two of them?

"I don't know what they are and I don't even know who they are. I don't get it. And it would be too awkward to watch them in something L.A. because they don't belong there."

Someone sounds awfully defensive. Frankel can't honestly believe that in this day and age, where anyone with a pulse signs on for a reality show (Mario Lopez?!? Aubrey O'Day?!?), Bristol and Levi wouldn't be the ideal stars of a series. As depressing as that may be.

Let's turn this question over to the readers: Who would you prefer to watch?

 

Tags: , ,

at . Comments

According to Women's Health, Brooklyn Decker has the best bikini body on the planet. We challenge any warm-blooded male to disagree with this fact.

Similarly, that publication's partner magazine has released a poll with an obvious result: Kellan Lutz possesses the hottest beach body of any man in 2010.

Kellan Lutz Image

The Twilight Saga star showed off his chiseled muscles and ridiculous abs in a recent Calven Klein underwear campaign. His body seems almost computer-generated, doesn't it?

Rounding out the top five in this poll were Mario Lopez, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Matthew McConaughey.

Drool over these studs, as well as a few more in the top 10 below. Then, vote for the sexiest...

Who has the best beach body?

 

Tags:

at . Comments

Kanye West has traded in short hair for gigantic breasts.

The rapper has moved on from Amber Rose and multiple sources - such as The Daily Mirror - now link him romantically to Shay. Yes, the Shay.

This Kenyan native is a model who moved to Great Britain when she was two years old. She's lived there ever since; stands five feet eight inches; and claims her 30JJ-26-37 measurements are all natural.

We have little doubt that Kanye and Shay will be together forever and ever.

Fortunately, Rose has also found a new love interest: she's been spotted out and about with Reggie Bush this summer.

Tags:

at . Comments

Selena Gomez turns 18 today, which means we know what the singer/actress is up to:

Purchasing tobacco and pornography and boning up on political facts so she can vote in this fall's election.

Selena is also getting ready to say goodbye to her Wizards of Waverly Place co-stars, as she recently said this would be the final season of the show that made her famous.

So, what will Gomez do from there? A duet with Justin Bieber, if the star has her way. Hard to blame her for getting out of the acting business if that's what the future holds for her, isn't it?

But that's for another day! Today is all about Selena turning 18. Enjoy the following photo montage in her honor and send in your birthday wishes to this cutie...

  • Growing Up Quickly
  • Hey, Selena!
  • Pic of Selena
  • Seventeen Cover
  • The Great Selena
  • Smooching Selena
  • A Young Talent
  • Teen Vogue Photo
  • Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez
Tags: ,