Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Charlie Sheen may be winning at life, but the actor is yet to come out on top in his custody battle with Brooke Mueller.

The mother of Bob and Max filed a restraining order against her ex-husband last week, successfully yanking her kids away from the home Sheen has dubbed "The Sober Valley Lodge." With the sides expected to battle it out in court tomorrow, sources tell TMZ they were negotiating all weekend in an attempt to read a custody settlement.

  • Pic of Brooke Mueller
  • A True Winner

Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen are headed to court. Again. [Photos: Fame, Pacific Coast News]

Why did talks fail?

Mueller is reportedly insisting that a monitor be present any time the twins are at Sheen's house. She also wants to deny Sheen's girlfriends from, as an insider tells the site, "exercising parental responsibilities."

Sounds reasonable to us. Then again, we're not the ones rattling on about "Vatican assassins" and tiger blood.

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Thank you, Armani.

Following her recent starring turn in an underwear and jeans commercial, Megan Fox has been hired again by this fashion brand as the face/body of its fragrance, Code.

In a newly-released set of sensual print ads, the actress sports a black wig and backless dress, posing with a tuxedo-ed/shirtless male model and showing off her tattoos in the process. What does this have to do with perfume? Does anyone really care?

  • Armani Print Ad
  • Megan Fox Armani Picture
  • Bringing a Sexy Back

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The latest season of Celebrity Apprentice may have debuted last night, but NeNe Leakes didn't wait until the premiere to tell the world how she feels about Star Jones.

"Star's not nice," Leakes said on The Talk last week. "Anybody who has ever worked with her would side with me. She's not a nice person. She's a witch... with a 'b' in front."

NeNe Leakes Body

Describing Jones as a "back stabber," Leakes added during a conference call with reporters: "There are a lot of people who don't like Star, so I won't be the only one."

Possible 2012 Presidential nominee/reality show host Donald Trump must love this contrived feud, which can only ratchet up ratings for his beloved show.

Where does Jones stand on the rivalry? She told journalists:

"I did Celebrity Apprentice to raise money and awareness for the American Heart Association, which has been instrumental in my life, not to see it reduced to a cliché where black women attack one another for publicity's sake. I haven't made any comments in hopes that she would remember that we all participated in this show for charity and not as a vehicle to promote ourselves and such hatred. I was clearly wrong and I decided to finally respond."

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Following decades in the music business, Phil Collins has called it a career.

The British artist says he suffers from hearing problems, a dislocated vertebra and nerve damage in his hands, all due to years and years of performing.

"I'm not worried about not being able to play the drums again, I'm more worried about being able to cut a loaf of bread safely or building things for my kids," the father of two tells FHM.

Considering the state of the business, with singers such as Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift dominating the charts, Collins also doesn't think he fits in any longer, saying:

"I look at the MTV Music Awards and I think: 'I can't be in the same business as this.' I don't really belong to that world and I don't think anyone's going to miss me. I'm much happier just to write myself out of the script entirely."

But Collins will maintain at least some ties to pop culture: his daughter, Lily Collins, is dating Taylor Lautner.

UPDATE: Collins' rep now says his client is just taking a break. The British pop star "is not, has no intention of, retiring."

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Sorry, Phillipa Lepley. A new name has emerged as the leading contender to design Kate Middleton's wedding gown.

Now London's Sunday Times and Daily Telegraph are both reporting that Sarah Burton (from the house of Alexander McQueen) has earned the honor.

"The design of the dress [will] be a combination of Miss Middleton's own ideas and Mrs Burton's quirky interpretation of high fashion," states the Telegraph, adding that Burton was "chosen for the discretion afforded by her relatively low profile, as well as for her alternative take on elegance."

Royally Famous

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You're either in Sheen's Korner or with the trolls.

So states the motto of Charlie Sheen's new talk show, one the actor hosted from his house last night while surrounded by various cronies, pals and "Vatican assassins."

Broadcast on UStream, the 50-minute gabfest features Sheen in a dollar-sign short, quoting himself from past interviews, giving a shout-out to his kids and reading an original poem. It peaked with 115,000 listeners at one point.

Sit back and take it all in below. Sheen says this Korner will become a nightly or weekly event, depending on viewer response.

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I never stole a necklace or got a DUI. Never cheated on my wife like that golfer guy. So what you can see a little boob from the side? I’m sorry I’m not perfect.

So sang Miley Cyrus during her Saturday Night Live monologue last night, as the controversial 18-year old defended various actions against critics by comparing herself to Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods and others.

Miley as Justin

She then went on to impersonate Fergie and Justin Bieber, saying of the latter after the show: "It’s all about the crotch grabbing."

Did you watch Miley as SNL host? What did you think? Below, we've compiled a handful of skits from the evening. Watch and enjoy!

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The Real Housewives of Orange County return tomorrow night. What can viewers expect from the cast that kicked off this Bravo franchise? Referring to new co-stars Peggy Tanous and Fernanda Rocha, Vicki Gunvalson tells TV Guide:

"Each time we get a new cast member, I open my arms and I don't have preconceived notions about them, I just hope we can all get along and that was the case this year. It was just a good blend and a good fit and I was really excited about that. No drama on that end from me, so that was good. There may be some with the other girls, but I stood clear of it."

Vicki Gunvalson Photograph

Will Gunvalson still be feuding with Tamra? She says:

"I'm her friend, I love her and I want the best for her. She's in a great place now and she's extremely happy and that you'll see this season... I knew Tamra was in a tough place. She had Simon telling her that it was my fault. I knew it wasn't. I had nothing to do with their marriage woes."

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Just days after Rachel Oberlin said Charlie Sheen was the first man she ever met who deserved to be with multiple women at once, this goddess has left the building.

So Tweeted the hilarious actor himself, who still considers himself a winner, don't worry:

Sheen Tweet

Following the (latest) ugly split with Brooke Mueller, Sheen is down to himself and Natalie Kenly. And the next journalist that stops by for an interview, of course.

Anyone wishing to apply for the job of goddess should send an application to imdesperatefordrugsandattention@justhalfaman.com.

UPDATE: Hours after this Tweet, Sheen released another that simply read: "She's back!" Why did they get into a fight? He also wrote:

"I chipped one of my warlock fangs on a great white shark I had to murder. Pissed me off and like an ass I took it out on her."

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If a man who rambles on about Adonis DNA and warlock tendencies can be believed, Charlie Sheen might end up back on Two and a Half Men after all.

Calling into The Chio & Shila Show yesterday, the actor opened the interview by sounding like his usual, successful self: "My super powers are blowing it up completely... I think were winning this morning."

Charlie Sheen 20/20 Interview

After a bad connection forced Sheen to call back, he made it clear that he's largely in on the running joke he's created, telling the hosts:

"What did you all do in that missing ten seconds without me? Did it feel like your lives had ended?"

Getting down to business, though, Sheen was asked about the state of his sitcom and said "it feels like all parties" are nearing an understanding, concluding: "Absolutely the gig's coming back, I have absolute faith in that."

Do you want Sheen back on the show?

 

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