Hilton Hater

Hilton Hater

I am a senior staff writer at THG and a big fan of Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Robert Pattinson. I believe Kim Kardashian is bad for society, but great for attention, and that The Real Housewives should all be banned from existence.

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Women might be calling for his head on a platter, and some golf fans may be warming up their pipes to taunt him from the stands, but at least one person is standing by Tiger Woods.

Sort of.

Reverend Ricky Kirton, the pastor who officiated the marriage between Woods and Elin Nordegren, has the following message for the couple:

"Forgive each other. Be there for each other, and it will work out."

Kirton told People he "started to pray" for the pair soon after Tiger's infiedlity leaked out. He then started to shake his head and laugh uncontrollably as the number of cheating stories piled up. Just kidding about the second part.

  • What Elin Knew
  • What They're Hiding

Because Tiger Woods is out of rehab and still with his wife, we're sure the tabloid coverage will stop... not!

Of course, Kirton hasn't spoken to Tiger or Elin since their 2004 wedding. Nor has he ever been married. It's unclear what expertise he can possibly offer on this topic.

All the pastor has are the words of wisdom he offers all engaged couples.

"I tell them to remain true to their vows. I want them to know this is serious and they have to work hard," he said, relaying the advice he delivers: "Remember these four phrases. I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you."

He also might wanna add: get a second cell phone for your mistresses.

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Even the complete and utter morons at NBC can't be dumb enough to bring Heroes back after the atrocious way it wrapped up its fourth season last night...

... right?

Our friends at TVFanatic.com have reviewed that show and all new episodes that aired last night. Click on the links below and chime in with your thoughts...

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You may dislike her because she stole Jennifer Aniston's man, but we have a message for all the haters:

Get over it! That was five years ago!

At this point, especially when compared to other stars in her industry, there should be nothing but positive things to say about Angelina Jolie. She donates millions to charity every year, she doesn't seek out the paparazzi and she actually gets involved in important causes.

The latest case in point: Jolie spent time in the Dominican Republic yesterday, visiting hospitalized survivors of the Haitian earthquake. She even met with Dominican President Leonel Fernandez.

Today, meanwhile, the UN goodwill ambassador is off to Haiti, actually immersing herself in the destruction down there. How many celebrities can say that?

Jolie doesn't whine about the tabloid coverage of her relationship. She doesn't Tweet about mundane happenings in her life. She even bypassed the Hope for Haiti Now telethon because she wasn't interested in getting her face on TV.

She simply wants to help. Anyone that takes issue with this actress should look in the mirror to see where the real problem lies.

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She's a global icon that has starred in a hit movie and TV show, while releasing platinum albums and posing for a number of magazine photo shoots.

In other words: Miley Cyrus is quite well-off. You'd think she'd be able to afford a pair of non-ripped jeans.

But for whatever reason, the singer strolled through Los Angeles over the weekend in an outfit that a homeless person might wear. A homeless person that had been on the street for a very long time, that is.

Seriously. These pants have been ripped more often than Miley on this website...

Torn Up

We guess this look is somehow "in" these days, as weird fashion is often interpreted as forward-thinking and creative. We say: it's just weird.

What do you say? Miley's jeans are...

 

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It's hard to tell if they were ever officially apart, but Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller are moving back in together.

Yesterday, a judge charged the actor with three crimes - but also relaxed the order of protection against him. As a result, "Charlie and Brooke are on their way back to L.A. to continue their lives," said Brooke's lawyer, Yale Galanter.

Charlie Sheen 20/20 Interview

The couple has not lived under the same roof since a temporary restraining order was issued following Sheen's arrest for allegedly, violently confronting his wife on Christmas Day. But Mueller has made little secret of her desire to reconcile with her husband.

"We need to give them a chance to be alone and catch up on everything that has happened over the last couple of months," Galanter told E! News. "We'll see what happens."

On the legal side, the Two and a Half Men star has been charged with third-degree assault and criminal mischief, along with one count of felony menacing.

He's due back in a Colorado court for arraignment on March 15, the day after he and Mueller's twin sons turn one-year old.

Galanter added that he doesn't know whether Mueller will accompany Sheen to Aspen, but said:

"I know based on the comments made in court, Mr. Sheen is committed to doing counseling and I know Brooke is doing everything she can to be the best mom she can be."

It's cheesy but true: that's the most important thing right now.

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David Archuleta is featured on a new calendar.

Created by photographer Jennifer Barry, the item is on sale at Qoop.com and benefits a cause near to the American Idol runner-up's heart: the Utah chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

“This year instead of waiting for a fundraiser to begin, I created it myself as I was inspired by David’s charity speech [in January]," Barry said. “I have been wanting to help support Crush MS through photos I have taken of David.

"So, this year, I made a 2010 David Calendar called ‘Be The Change.’ All proceeds will go to help support the fight against MS... whether you purchase this calendar or not, please make this the year YOU make a difference!”

David Archuleta Calendar

For just $21, you can help David Archuleta fight a difficult disease.

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Andy Roddick has been unlucky in his professional life. The tennis star would likely have many more major titles to his name if he played in an era that didn't include the greatest player of all-time, Roger Federer.

But any sympathy you might have for Roddick goes out the window as soon as you realize how fortunate he's been in love: the guy is married to Brooklyn Decker.

No longer a little-known model, Decker has reached the pinnacle of her business. She headlines the 2010 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. The cover was revealed on last night's The Late Show with David Letterman, as the host unveiled the photo below as a Times Square billboard.

In related news, THG may soon move its headquarters to midtown Manhattan...

Sports Illustrated Cover

Tweeted Decker last night: "The issue is amazing, glowing, fun, the girls are happy... it’s not over-the-top, the girls and editors should be so proud! THANK YOU ALL!!!”

No, Brooklyn, thank you.

Quick background on the model, who will be interviewed by Letterman tonight and all over the news this week: she hails frim Kettering, Ohio; was discovered in a North Carolina shopping mall; and moved to New York to model.

She's also guest-starred on Chuck, Royal Pains and Ugly Betty.

We'd like to ugly her betty... if you know what we mean! In case you don't, just click on the photos below for more shots of Decker in this issue of Sports Illustrated:

  • Brooklyn Decker Photograph
  • Decked Out
  • For SI
  • Mrs. Roddick
  • Brooklyn Photo
  • Brooklyn on the Beach
  • Sports Illustrated Picture
  • Simple and Sexy
  • Topless!
  • Such Nice Breasts
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The Real Housewives of Orange County writers have come up with an exciting twist for Tamra Barney this season.

Just weeks after she was served divorce papers by her husband of 11 years, Simon, Barney has confirmed that she's moved one... to Simon's best friend Eddie Judge!

Derek Lowe Mug Shot

Moreover, the scorned, soon-to-be ex learned of his wife's dalliance by witnessing it himself in a scene likely caught by Bravo cameras. Simon says he was at the Hard Rock in Las Vegas this weekend, walked into a club around midnight and:

"I saw Tamra with a friend of mine, Eddie Judge,” he told RadarOnline.com. "I saw them holding hands and acting like a couple. As soon as Tamra saw me she let go of his hand and walked away. I went up to Eddie  and asked him if he's (bleeping) my wife.  He didn't say a word.

"I  couldn't believe what I had just witnessed - the ultimate betrayal by a pal and my estranged wife."

Nice soundbite! Kudos to whichever writer fed Simon that line.

Simon adds that he fell to his knees at the time and was helped out of the hotel by a series producer doorman.

Barney, pictured above with Judge, admits to the relationship with her ex-husband's close friend. She said:

""I started dating Eddie Judge last week... We are romantically involved, he is a great guy. It was bound to happen that we both we would dating again after [Simon] filed for divorce.

"I don't know what the future holds with Eddie and only time will tell."

Time, and script writers, that is. We're guessing they're hard at work on a suspense-filled conclusion to this storyline.

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We pray this isn't so...

According to In Touch Weekly, John Mayer and Taylor Swift - it pains us to even write these words - hooked up in late January. At least that's what the douchebag of male singer told a friend.

It's already been confirmed that the pair met for dinner in Nashville. But an insider tells the tabloid they got extra cozy in a recording studio there.

“She was sitting on John’s lap, her arms were around him, and she was talking in his ear,” said the source. “They were acting like teenagers.”

Well, Taylor is only 20 years old. Yet another reason (aside from how much cooler she is) for Mayer to keeps his hands off her.

  • A Douchebag Picture
  • Everyone's Choice

Mayer and Swift dined that evening at the restaurant Cabana and were joined by pals afterward. From there, the magazine alleges, they went back The Hermitage Hotel alone, where they were privately escorted to John’s suite.

“Taylor spent the night and enjoyed mid-morning room service before leaving his suite the next day," said the insider, defying the denial from both singers' reps that anything romantic has gone on between the two.

When asked by a friend how his night with award-winning star went, John supposedly laughed and said: “How do you think it went?”

Oh man. Maybe this really did happen. That does sound exactly like something Mayer would say.

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On one hand, Lindsay Lohan posing like Jesus Christ is sacrilegious and appalling.

On the other, it's understandable. After all, think of how many times this unemployed actress has heard her name associated with the son of God:

What a Waif

Jesus Christ, Lindsay Lohan is insane!

Jesus Christ, Lindsay Lohan is thin!

Jesus Christ, Lindsay Lohan is desperate for attention!

Can you really blame the train wreck, therefore, for making like this figure on the cover of French fashion magazine Purple? Check it out:

Lindsay Lohan as Jesus: Insulting or accurate?

This cover shot comes on the heels of Lindsay throwing a drink in ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson's face, but that incident makes more sense now.

She likely thought it was holy water.

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